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Danger of Keeping Small Town Secrets Across Generations

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By Freelance Writer and Books Author Denise Turney

empty concrete alleyway in small town
Passageway in Small Town – Photo by Simon Blyberg on Pexels.com

Small town secrets grow like uncontrollable weeds. Their sting is as painful as gossip, yet worse. Unlike gossip, these secrets have a deep, dangerous root. Sexual crimes committed by a star athlete, the whereabouts of a missing person and the deception that a woman is a child’s aunt when she’s actually the child’s mother – those are but a few misplaced confidences with lasting impact.

Small Towns with Old Histories

Other real life skeletons people living in small towns, especially towns with old histories, work hard to keep hidden have affected hundreds of children and adults. Danger associated with these mysteries is what drives people to keep them hidden. If you grew up in a small town that’s known for keeping events in the dark, a few of these mysteries might sound familiar:

  • College hazing that went too far, causing the death of a student, but no one going to trial because the death was ruled an accident and the crime was never properly investigated
  • Neighbor installing hidden camera in a home then using taped information to blackmail the homeowner for acts as simple as showering, relieving themselves and making out with a town schoolteacher
  • Corruption that stems back two or more generations, putting dishonest law enforcement and other government officials in place to keep the corruption going
  • Drugs taking over an entire town, destroying families and businesses while community leaders do nothing to stop the drug infiltration because they’re receiving kickbacks from dealers
  • A handful of business owners meeting and deciding which new businesses will open in the town, cooking up reasons to disallow the strongest competitors from setting up shop
  • Two married people have a lengthy affair, creating a child from the relationship, only to lie to the child about his real parents, not once telling their son their biological connection to him. People who know about the affair and who the child’s real parents are, never tell the child, not even after the child reaches adulthood.

Shocking Small Town Secrets

It’s these types of secrets that get the wrong men and women arrested, that leave children with more questions than answers and that prevent real growth from happening to the town. Believe it or not, some small town secrets are more outlandish and traumatic than those unearthed in large cities.

The real shocker is that small towns with big secrets can look “perfect” from the outside. Everybody knows everybody. Instead of passing one another on the sidewalk without speaking while out shopping, townsfolk stop, wave and chat with each other awhile.

If you didn’t know better, the entire town would look and feel like one big, happy family. Stay in the place long enough and you start to notice relationships and events that are off, that just don’t feel right. You spot a prominent business owner entering a hotel at the edge of town with a minister’s wife only to tell his own wife that he and the minister’s wife are mapping out the details of the summer’s vacation Bible school.

Everyone Knows What You Keep Lying About

Everyone in town knows the businessman rarely goes to church, but no one questions the lie. The chance to live in a place where wrong, particularly seemingly unforgiveable wrongs, don’t occur seems like sufficient motivation to lie, deny the facts and support tragic secrets.

At their worse, small town secrets can conceal a murder. Destroyed evidence, bribes paid to a coroner and a judge and threats made to those seeking the truth, can do more than hide facts. Acts like these can ensure that the wrong man goes to prison.

But why do people tell lies or keep secrets, especially dangerous hidden facts? Desire to mask their own indiscretions is a primary reason. Fear of retaliation from powerful people is another.

Together these two can create a web that’s hard to get untangled from. Greasy Plank in Memphis, Tennessee is a town of secrets, dark mysteries. Religion won’t save Greasy Plank residents.

Break Free

If you grew up keeping secrets, it might be time to break free. Doing so can release positive energy, allowing you to start and finish work you’ve wanted to do for years, but never seemed to find the strength to get to.

Here are more rewards associated with letting small town secrets go, float away like rocks moving down river:

  • Restored relationships with people wrongly suspected of crimes
  • Freedom from unforgiveness
  • Independence from resentment and suspicion
  • Healing from trauma
  • Innocent children and adults regaining their honor

And most of all, wrongs finally made right. Oh, and another advantage. You can sleep at night, your mind lighter from no longer having to carry heavy secrets. Tammy Tilson in Spiral fights for these rewards, for herself and her family, but she has a lot to lose if she tells what she knows.

Her choice to keep small town secrets has a very high price. Yet, that’s the way it goes when you try to hide the truth. Should you be keeping secrets, especially from yourself, consider the weight you’re carrying. See if you can find a way into the light of the truth. You might be able to do it in a way that frees up more people than you know without causing more trauma, more harm.

Resources:

  1. Small Town Secrets – NBC Boston

Is It Possible to Talk to the Dead?

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By Denise Turney

Ability to talk to the dead is available to anyone. In fact, it might be impossible to avoid hearing from a loved one who is no longer in a body if you had an especially close connection with that person. But how do you communicate with the deceased? Is there anything special that you have to do?

Picture of flowers by a grave of a dead person
Roses by Gravesite of the Dead – Wikimedia Commons, Picture by Samuriah

Let me start this blog post by sharing that I do not believe in death. To me, death is an illusion. But something clearly happens when we exit our bodies. That change seems to make it impossible to reach across the aisle and connect.

Expanding Communication Pathways

Centuries ago, we thought that about space and distance. If someone traveled to another continent, it was as if they were “gone”. Think about it, the telegraph was invented by Samuel Morse in 1837. Additionally, mail systems may have started during the Zia or Shang dynasties, as far back as 2070 BC.

Before then, when someone moved to another country, or worse, another continent, it was as if they had disappeared forever. After all, there seemed to be no other way to communicate with the person who was “out of sight” and space, far far away.

Today, technology has erased those impossibilities. But could we have found ways to communicate with those who seemed so far away (and still in their bodies) prior to the launch of the telegraph, mail systems, the Internet, face time and instant messaging?

And could it be possible to talk to the dead in ways that many are not aware of? As with the invention of advanced technological communication tools, those communication pathways may be most open if you live with an open, flexible mind.

Is a Departed Loved One Communicating

Now, to the signs that a “dead” person is trying to communicate with you. For starters, electrical appliances might go nuts, blinking or blaring if a departed loved one communicates with you. Lights might turn off and on. Familiar scents that are associated with the loved one who is no longer in their body might fill a room.

Also, people who don’t know the deceased might say the person’s name. For example, while I was on a train heading home from work, a group of kids outside a hospital shouted my departed son’s name over and over, about 12 to 15 times. It was as if the kids were making a song of his name, not as if they were calling out to a friend.

Even more, a stranger might tell you something that is directly related to your loved one who is no longer in their body, something that the stranger clearly does not know. For example, when I was preparing to move to a new city, I spoke with a representative at a moving company.

Coming Through an Open Pathway

The very first time that I spoke with someone at the moving company, the representative who answered the phone asked, “Is this the Denise who recently lost her brother or dog?” It was an out-of-the-blue question, totally unrelated to the move.

I had never spoken with the representative before, didn’t know the guy at all. I had never told anyone at the company that my son had transitioned. A moment later after I didn’t respond, the guy said, “Guess I had the wrong Denise.”

Dreams are open pathways through which you can communicate with a departed loved one, so pay attention to your dreams. But as with any circumstance, don’t become obsessed. Your life here matters, and it’s important that you live it fully. Strong emotion while in a certain location, intuitive direction and inner guidance are other ways to communicate.

How to Talk to the Dead

As with any other inner communication, you may have to take action to receive the full communication. For example, you might receive a message to go get your loved one’s picture. After you get the picture, your loved one might tell you that she’s right there next to you.

Also, you might be asked to turn on a certain television show. After you turn on the television show, you hear someone on the show ask, “If your loved one spoke with you, what would he tell you right now?” Another person on the television show might respond, “He would tell me that he’s still here, with me right now.”

The good news is that it is not necessary to pay a medium to talk to the dead. In fact, the best mediums will encourage you to communicate with your loved one on your own. Keeping an open mind may be the best way to talk to the dead.

This cannot be overstated. If you are dealing with grief, a process that could continue for the remainder of your physical expression, you may keep the lines of communication between you and your departed loved one going by writing or typing letters to your loved one.

Dealing With Grief

Despite your doubts, you might be surprised how healing writing your loved one letters can be. Another thing that might help you, is accepting communication signs from the dead without criticism or judgment.

As you continue your journey, love yourself. Be patient with yourself. Be very, very patient with yourself. Also, allow yourself to experience peace and joy. Let yourself feel the emotion of happiness.

As someone who has had both of her parents to transition, all of her grandparents and my son transition – I know that the first days, weeks and months after a loved one departs their body can be near impossible to get through.

Shock, sorrow, guilt, regret and intense sadness can feel overwhelming. The first few days, it may be hard if not impossible to relax, let alone sleep at night. That could go on for weeks. You might start crying, like I did, while shopping for shoes, buying groceries or driving your car.

Give Yourself Time

Instead of focusing on other people’s opinions, focus on the relationship that you had with your departed loved one. As an example, some people may think that you should “get over” the “loss” after a few weeks, six months or a year.

These people might lash out should you continue to grieve longer than they think you should. Some people might ask you to stop talking about your loved one, forcing you to not even speak the person’s name. My guess is that speaking a “dead” person’s name makes some people uncomfortable. Their demanding that you not mention the person could be a form of control, an unhealthy strategy they use to avoid feeling strong emotions.

Regardless of what others say or do, love yourself. Do what is best and most loving for you. This includes accepting communications that your departed loved one has with you.

Also, commit to moving forward. Remember that you are not ending communications with your loved one who is no longer in a body, especially if you talk to the “dead”. You are simply moving through the shift so that you can continue your physical expression in healthy ways knowing that one day, you too, will become one of those “dead people”.

Use Arts to Talk to the Dead

Are you a painter? Are you a writer? Do you love to sing? How about crafts? Do you love to knit, sew or crochet?

As you continue your journey, consider painting to express emotions that you are experiencing. You could also write songs about your departed loved one. A few months after my son transitioned, I started writing on a novel, a super hero story, with my son as the main character.

Writing on that story, is tremendously healing for me. Regarding self discovery, you might find that incorporating memories of your loved one in your creative arts could prove healing and transforming.

Love Yourself

Some artists paint amazing portraits of their loved ones. Singers have written, sang and produced songs in honor of a departed loved one. There are many ways to marry memory, love and art. Even more, don’t be surprised if your loved one starts to guide these creative works.

As a final word, in addition to being patient with yourself as you go through this journey, love yourself. And I do mean, love yourself. Really really love yourself.

This includes, seeking professional help should you feel stuck or drifting toward self harm. Suicide isn’t the only form of self harm. Over eating, drinking too much alcohol and abusing yourself with drugs, including prescription drugs, are other forms of self harm.

Accept Support

Talk with a friend you know you can trust. Join an online and/or offline support group. I am a member of an online support group for grieving mothers. Hearing other mothers share their stories is beyond helpful, beyond strengthening and supportive.

Give this love to yourself. Just give yourself love. Give love. Receive love. And stay open to those loving communications that come from your departed loved ones.

Spiral is a book that deals with receiving communication from the dead. It is a fictional mystery that needs someone (not a professional medium) who can talk to the dead to solve a crime. It is my hope that Spiral will help you as you work through dealing with a loved one’s transition, especially if the transition was traumatic.

More importantly, I hope that Spiral will stir your courage, inspiring you to take the right action to protect anyone who is being traumatized, forced into departing their body. Spiral and resources shared in this article might help you to overcome fear and continue your journey in healthy ways. You also might accept communication that you receive from an eternal loved one who is no longer in a body. I wish you well.

Get your copy of “Spiral” Now at –

Sources:

Ebookit.com – https://www.ebookit.com/tools/pd/Bo/eBookIt/booktitle-Spiral

Resources:

https://www.newsweek.com/2014/11/07/talking-dead-280717.html

https://www.healyourlife.com/10-signs-the-dead-are-communicating-with-you

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/biocentrism/201111/is-death-illusion-evidence-suggests-death-isn-t-the-end

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm