Tag Archives: self-help tips

Harnessing the Power of Accepting Truths

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By African American Books Author Denise Turney

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Power of accepting truths is real. After all, truth is the gateway to freedom. Yet, it’s the idea of deep truths that we love. For example, we love the idea that all humans are created equal. But we compete, compare and search for differences then tell ourselves and each other that we aren’t, in fact, created equal.

Add in the fact that humans don’t like being wrong and it’s easy to see how we point to evidence that our beliefs and our biases are right. After this cycle gets started, it could take us years to pause long enough to examine what we’re doing. It could take us years to accept the truth, or could there be a shortcut to accepting truths?

Want To Know The Truth

I’ve caught myself doing this numerous times. For me, there’s often an element of magical thinking at work when I turn away from the power of accepting truths. When I pushed myself too hard and felt near burnout, I told myself that it would all be better after a night of sleep (magical thinking). Truth was that I had to acknowledge what I was doing to myself and insert healthy change into my day, which (thankfully) I eventually did.

But magical thinking isn’t the only thing that might stop you from accepting truth. Refusal to look at what you’re thinking, believing or doing can also prevent you from accepting truth. The downside is that you wouldn’t be free. You’d also have to try to shelter in thought defense systems in effort to keep good truths out of your awareness.

Finding and Accepting the Truth

To thicken these self-imposed barricades, you might seek people to agree with you, to share your erroneous thoughts or ideas. Yet, that doesn’t change the truth. However, if you keep defending and repeating and/or acting out your erroneous beliefs, you could start to think that these thought errors are, in fact, the truth.

Don’t ignore the power of the mind. It has the power to accept or block inner truth and universal truth. In fact, there may be no more powerful tool anywhere, which brings back the starting point. There is power in accepting truth. Start small if you feel that turning away from erroneous thoughts you have used to feel safe for years will place you in emotional danger.

As an example, if you struggle with a food or beverage addiction, you could study what the food or beverage does to the human body. Or you could visit a facility where the food or beverage is made.

A friend did this with pork. After seeing for himself how hot dogs were made, he never ate pork again.

Desire for Deep Truths

The more you see how erroneous thoughts are keeping you from accepting truth (the gateway to freedom), the more you may desire the truth. But be advised. Your mind might fight against accepting truths, especially if you feel unloved, uncared for and unsafe.

Yet, there’s very good news. Even if you endured an abusive childhood and/or abusive adult relationships, you could always start learning to love yourself. When you love you, you’ll always be loved.

Power of Accepting Truths Leads to Freedom

As you feel mentally safer, your desire for truth may expand, deepen and strengthen. Then, you may start to spot erroneous mental patterns and ask for help to release those patterns, replacing them with good truths.

But please be warned that if you look at what others are doing and feel you’re being slighted if another person continues in thought defense systems and erroneous thinking, you could feel anger. And you might feel as if your accepting and living in truth won’t change the world, improve the world or make another person better. You also might decide to stop accepting truth. Yet, that won’t change the fact that truth is the gateway to freedom.

So, keep accepting the truth, one experience after the other. At the very least, you’ll be free.

Surrender Your Expectations to Gain a Better Life

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By Books Author Denise Turney

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Surrender your expectations to enjoy the life you want. It’s not as hard as it seems. Generally, it starts at the beginning of whatever it is you’re pursuing.

If you look back, you’ll see that much of what you’ve done felt exhilarating at the beginning. Starts are exciting, full of hope, trust and surprise. They rarely require surrender. Instead, you might have to pump the brakes and slow yourself down. You’re so ready to step into something new.

There may be no better time when you don’t need convincing that a relationship, project or travel plan will absolutely turn out fabulously. Then, you get to the middle of a relationship, work at the same company for two years or are six months into a year-long international nature trip.

Surrender Your Expectations at the Start

As fun as your nature trip has been, there have been bumps. Imagine this. While in Italy, on a winding country road, you get lost. But you keep driving, figuring that you’ll find your way back to your hotel. Five minutes don’t pass before a tire on your rental car pops then flattens. It’s night. All you feel that you can do is curse and bang the steering wheel. Yet, that won’t get you to the hotel.

Then, there’s the food that you ate while visiting Brazil a day ago that your stomach is still angry with you about. When it comes to work, you’ve been on the job long enough to get to know the different personalities. You get along with nearly everyone. But the strong-willed executive assistant is rubbing your nerves real thin. And one of your managers just won’t stop challenging your every decision.  It wasn’t that way when you started. There was nothing to surrender to then.

In fact, on your first day at the job, the entire team treated you to breakfast, hugs and the most delightful conversation. Oh, and that used-to-be-new relationship. There are things about your partner that are starting to annoy you. It’s only happened twice. But you’ve started to wonder if you picked the right partner.

Welcome to the Middle – Time to Surrender Your Expectations

You’re in the middle, the place where struggle can occur and the only way out is through surrender. Better, you can’t go back and you know it. If you stay, you’ll have to set a new goal for the relationship, job or trip.

For example, instead of staying in the relationship so you can prove to your family and friends that you married the right person or staying together so that your kids can grow up with both their parents living in the same house, the new goal for your relationship might be to have a blast exploring the world together, starting two businesses that thrive for generations and, more importantly, helping each other to awaken spiritually.

Even with the changed goal, it’s going to take focus and commitment. Why? You’re going to want to quit. Now that your goal has shifted, to succeed, you need to do two more things. You need to surrender and trust.

Surrender to your true Self. And, surrender to the Creator. Then, trust that the Creator and your true Self know the way that you should go. Sound easy? Only if it was.

Resisting the Aim of Surrendering

Ego is going to put up a fierce battle to keep you under its guidance. You may be enticed to return to old addictions (e.g. soda addiction, food addiction, exercise addiction, gossip addiction, alcohol addiction). Also, you might be tempted to return to old relationships. Who knows? You might even start to think sidestepping surrendering and going back to a former job is the way that you should go.

But why do you want to go back? You’ve already spent time in the past. Certainly, you know what’s back there. If you don’t surrender and go back now, boredom, low energy and lack of engagement could await.

Surrender to Gain a Better Life

So, are you feeling afraid about what could lay ahead?

And what part of you is feeling afraid?

To surrender, you need to have faith. You absolutely need to trust the very Source that created you. And why not? You trusted Source while you were being created. Certainly, you can trust now.

Surrender. Pray. Meditate. Explore. Ask questions. Stay curious. Live open. Practice patience. Love yourself. Practice awareness. Be honest with yourself. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Let yourself learn. Accept the best visions for your life. Walk in faith. Love at all times. Tap into your core. Follow inner guidance. Take smart actions. Keep advancing.

How to Open Yourself to More Miracles

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By Books Author Denise Turney

colorful rainbow surrounded by cliffs, waterfall and rainbow miracles
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Miracles are all around you. In simplest form, miracles remove what appears to keep you from being aware of love. Also, God phenomenon or real-life spiritual wonders are described as an experience that occurs outside of natural or scientific laws. It’s due to how these experiences occur that they are considered God wonders.

You Don’t Have to Be Religious to Receive Miracles

Better yet, religious affiliation nor religious beliefs are required to receive miracles. But whether you’re offering prayers for financial help or another prayer for a blessing right now, to receive or to see miracles and to experience miracles firsthand, you need to do more than expect goodness.

You need to open yourself to miracles. And, here’s a key, a very important key.

To receive miracles, give the miracle of forgiveness. A Course In Miracles is a book dedicated solely to forgiveness. Before you read the book, it may prove beneficial to study projection. You could also practice awareness and try to catch yourself projecting.

If you’re like me, you’re going to resist accepting that you engage in projection. And, who could fault you? After all, it’s hard to see how your thoughts could influence your experiences, including how others perceive you and treat you. Just a hard sell. But, that doesn’t mean that you aren’t projecting.

Projection and Real-Life Miracles

Here’s an easy way to look at projection, especially as it regards real life miracles. Think about a projector, the equipment used to project or show an image that’s placed on a machine out onto a wall or screen so that more people can see the image.

With experiences, the mind is the projector and thoughts are the image. The world is the wall or the screen that your thoughts are projected onto. You have no idea how much I fought this. But experiences showed me that it is so.

For example, when I focused on one to three traits to appreciate about someone who I was struggling to get along with, the way that the person responded to me actually changed. This I have experienced many times.

Miracle Of Forgiveness

In other words, my thoughts about the person changed. Then, what I projected or saw in the world regarding the person changed. These experiences are like real life miracles.

So, to open yourself to real life miracles, look for the link between your thoughts and what you’re seeing in the world. Be honest. Be aware. You can always change your thoughts. In fact, changing your thoughts is a first step to open yourself to miracles.

Blessings Come with Forgiveness

The second way to open yourself to miracles is to forgive. Sounds simple. But, the miracle of forgiveness is powerful. A tip to forgive is to start writing one to three actions, talents, etc. that you appreciate about the person you feel the emotions of anger, fear or sadness around. Do this every day until you witness a shift.

For instance, after you practice forgiveness, that person might smile and speak to you or you might stop feeling angry or afraid when you hear the person’s name or are in the person’s presence. Those are signs that something has shifted.

Let Go of Control

Another way to experience the miracle of forgiveness is to spend one to two uninterrupted hours speaking out loud, “I love you” followed by the name of the person you’re at odds with. Watch what happens the next time you see the person. I did this with someone who I thought would hate me forever. In one week, the person treated me with kindness.

Don’t use this practice as a way to manipulate someone. After all, you’re trying to see how a miracle works. You’re not trying to control anyone or anything, which brings up the third way to open yourself to miracles.

To experience real life miracles, let go. Accept that you cannot (nor probably would even want to) control everything. Avoid trying to control how miracles play out. Attempting to control miracles could leave you feeling frustrated, angry, afraid and even blind to miracles that are around you right now.

Expect Miracles

In fact, it would be shocking if real life miracles played out exactly the way you want them to. So, if you’re sending up miracle prayers for financial help, you might not get the salary increase that you want. Instead, you might receive a promotion that puts you in line for three times the bonus you’d received a year ago.

Or you might win a financial award, win a settlement or receive an unexpected financial gift – none which are related to a salary increase. But all which are forms of financial help. Therefore, stay open, forgive (this includes forgiving yourself), love yourself and others, settle into appreciation and don’t try to control outcomes. Oh, and expect miracles.

11 Signs You Need a Break

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By Freelance Writer and Books Author Denise Turney

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Signs you need a break can be hard to spot, especially if you’re a hard charger. My hand is raised high on this one. Often, I’m on the go-go-go cycle. It’s a rare day when I sit down. Hopefully, you’re better than me in this area. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t times when you don’t feel like you need a break from social, family or work responsibilities.

In fact, whether you’re a hard charger or live a life at a more balanced pace, you might feel as if nothing has changed even as you’re starting to exhaust. Also, if you’re generally relaxed and accept experiences without a lot of resistance, you may not notice that your emotions are shifting. But that doesn’t mean that you aren’t tired and need a break.

Practice Awareness to Spot When You’re in Need of a Break

This is a reason why it’s important to practice awareness. Yet don’t just pay attention to how you’re feeling.  Pay attention to your thoughts. And be honest about emotions that you’re experiencing and thoughts, including troubling thoughts, that you’re having.

For example, if you feel anger, be honest and admit that’s the emotion you’re feeling. Avoid searching for someone to blame for why you feel the emotion “anger”. Just acknowledge that it’s the emotion you’re experiencing. Anger, like all emotions, will come and go.

Or you could feel peace, happiness, jealousy, frustration or tired and in need of a break. Emotions that you feel do not define you. No one owns an emotion. In fact, as you continue to practice awareness, you’ll see how emotions and thoughts come and go. It’s when emotions get stuck or keep returning with short intervals that you could be receiving signs that you need to take a mental break.

11 Signs You Need a Break

Here are 11 signs that you may be in need of a break, mentally and/or physically. Love yourself, engage in rest best practices (which will be covered later in this article) and be patient with yourself.

  1. After sleeping 8 or more hours, you still feel tired or sleepy
  2. Thoughts feel like they’re racing or coming at you way too fast
  3. Appetite changes find you wanting to eat a lot or not wanting to eat at all
  4. Sleep is hard to come by no matter how long you lay in bed
  5. Nearly everything irritates you
  6. Desire to go outdoors starts to wane
  7. Exercise is the last thing you want to do even if you have a history of exercising every day
  8. Emotions feel charged or stronger than normal
  9. Sugars and fattening foods seem like the cure all for everything
  10. Emotional outbursts are becoming a daily event for you
  11. Focusing seems to take way too much energy

Rest Best Practices

Now, how to keep advancing when you’re tired and need a break. The best practice is to rest in God or to rest in the Creator and to accept that you’re always and only loved. Other rest best practices to take include:

  • Raise your hands in the morning and stretch, allowing appreciation
  • Speak with someone in the morning. You could do this in-person, over the telephone, via video or text.
  • Perform cardio at your desk at least once a day
  • Get outdoors and enjoy a walk
  • Drink plenty of water
  • Avoid drinking sugary and/or caffeinated beverages (or minimize the amount of sugary, caffeinated beverages that you drink)
  • Practice awareness
  • Rest an hour before retiring to bed
  • Sleep at least 6 sound hours a night
  • Reach out to family and friends – stay connected
  • Do at least three things that you love every day (for me, writing novels is on that list!)
  • Write down 3 good things that you do each day (you just might surprise yourself)
  • Meditate 5 to 10 minutes a day
  • Pick a day and focus on having fun and relaxing
  • Let other people help you
  • Open your windows and blinds and let loads of natural sunlight into your home
  • Seek help when you know you could use support

Sure. You could ignore the signs that you’re in need of a break. But that may not improve your situation. Instead, add rest best practices to your daily patterns. Also, acknowledge how you’re feeling and thinking. And rest in God and know that you are always and only loved.