By Books Author Denise Turney

Chance to flourish in a healthy love relationship may be the top desire of every adult. Time, disappointment, aging communities and diverse solo social events don’t seem to be putting the brakes on this desire. In fact, the numbers of people searching for a romantic partner to enter a healthy relationship with may be growing, thanks for the Internet. For starters, Pew research reports that 15% of American adults have used a dating app.

Everyone’s Looking for Love – Who’s Finding Love

Percentages are higher for Americans who have never tied the knot. About 30% of American adults who have never been married have used a dating app. Gone are the days when an adult posting a dating ad in a newspaper or magazine is considered a “lonely heart” or as being “socially inept”. But finding someone to get involved with and enjoying a healthy relationship are not always the same.

So, how do you know if you’re in a healthy relationship? A good starting point may be to pay attention to how you feel when you speak to yourself. Pay attention to how you feel based on how you treat yourself. For example, do you feel anxious or peaceful when you highlight mistakes that you made?

Do you feel confident or cowardly when you encourage yourself or speak positive affirmations to yourself? If we’re created to experience joy, love and peace, then, that may well be the hallmark of a healthy relationship. Forget trying to dupe yourself. Go after what you were created to have. Consider flourishing with joy, love and peace to be key signs that you’re in a healthy relationship.

Honesty Is Pathway to Healthy Love Relationship

This means that your partner and you actively help each other to experience joy, love and peace. You make it a goal. It may take honesty to accept this, to allow yourself to receive this trio of blessings. These three cannot be swapped out for excitement, romance or sleeping all day. Your relationship either enriches you with joy, love and peace or it doesn’t. No substituting.

More signs that you’re in a healthy relationship include:

• Accountability is clear and accepted – Both you and your partner take full responsibility for your thoughts, emotions and behavior. You don’t blame each other for how you feel, think or behave. If you want to end or start a new way of thinking or behaving, you hold yourself responsible for doing what it takes to achieve that. This includes lovingly dealing with sabotaging mental forecasting.
• Change celebrations – You and your partner don’t run from change. You don’t curse the world when your routines change. Instead, you celebrate change, seeing it as another chance to awaken and grow.
• Admit when you’re not happy – Even if you grew up in a home where you rarely saw your parents laughing or expressing peace and happiness, you and your partner are not afraid to admit when you’re not happy.

More Signs of a Healthy Love Relationship

• Clear, honest communication – Communicating is not enough. If you’re in a healthy relationship, you and your partner are honest, open and clear while communicating. You don’t belittle each other. You don’t diminish each other to relatives or friends.
• Ongoing work – Healthy relationships see couples continuing to learn. Both you and your partner refuse to believe that you “know it all”. You listen to one another. You keep paying attention and learning.
• Common goals – Rather than strive to convince or sell your partner on a goal, you and your lover pursue common goals. Neither of you feels as if you’re constantly “giving in” or being forced to do what you don’t really want to do just to keep the other partner happy.

All shared, no healthy relationship sign tops love. This is also where things can get tricky, as each person may have a different perception of love. Start discovering what your would-be lover’s perception about love is early in the dating process. Hook up with someone who has a vastly different perception of love than you do and, despite how much energy or time you invest in the relationship, the road could long be rocky.

Healthy relationships, like the one shared in Love Pour Over Me may take time. The best intentions can see relationships experience highs and lows. The good news is that some couples, like the couple in Love Pour Over Me, are truly meant to be. Here’s to wishing that’s what you experience!