By African American Books Author Denise Turney

Desperation and trauma can link two people who are worlds apart as it regards culture and race, creating unbreakable friendship lifelines. Don’t think so? Let your car skid off a cliff, leaving you hanging more than 100 feet above a river, currents raging, and you may not care who shows up to pull you up to safety.

At the end of it all, you might even consider that person to be an ally or a friend. In fact, although desperation and trauma certainly don’t create the relationship cure, they can do what years of relationship counseling might not.

Quotes About Friendships

Which points to a friendship core. Lasting lines for friends develop when you recognize that someone is in a place to help you. At first glance, this may sound selfish. But, when you consider the power of reward, this may be one of the more accurate sayings about friends.

After all, do you really want to develop, actually put in the work on a nearby or long distance friendship that cannot give you even one emotional, spiritual, financial or physical experience that you want?

According to LifeHack, of all the friendship quotes and sayings, this one is often shared when it comes to friends, “Surround yourself with the people you want to be like.” This holds a meaning similar to these African friendship quotes and sayings, “A friend is someone you share the path with” and “Show me your friend and I will show you your character.”

Friendships that Cross Culture and Race Are Akin to Lighthouses

In this case, your friend is someone who has had experiences that can serve as a lighthouse, helping you to know when you’re on the right path or getting lost. Even then, that guidance finds your friend giving you a reward. Once these rewards are received, particularly if they are rewards that you’d believed hard for you to receive, you may start to see the value of a good friend more clearly.

And you might refuse to let culture or race differences create gaps between you and your friend. You could even put in the work to keep a long-distance friendship strong.

For example, if you feel unheard, as if no one invest the time to listen to you long enough to actually hear what you say, except a woman whose culture and race are different from yours you and you really want to be heard, you may open the lines to a marvelous friendship to that woman. It has nothing to do with culture or race. Instead, it has to do with the inner workings of you and another person.

Signs Someone is Your Friend Regardless of Their Culture and Race

Being heard is a reward, for sure. It’s a great way to know that you are cared for. Other friendship signs that easily cross race and culture differences include:

• Whether your friend and you live among the mad rush of New York City or are navigating a long-distance relationship, you actively listen to each other
• Your friends make your well-being top priority
• Both you and your friend practice honesty
• Keeping in touch with you is natural, so too is giving you space
• If your friends need you (and vice versa), you show up
• Celebrating your successes and awakenings is a lot of fun for your friends

More True Friendship Signs

• Rather than watch you fall apart or make a huge mistake, your friends sit down and talk with you
• Gossip is an activity that your friend and you just don’t get into
• You and your friend know and accept each other for who you really are
• In addition to exploring deep conversation, your friend and you have lots of fun, laughter and new adventures together
• Giving each other time, space and support to grow and awaken is both your thing

Even during challenges, relationship counseling isn’t needed among good friends who practice honesty. And it may be honesty that’s the hallmark of a good friendship. Honesty might matter more than language or culture. This might be why hours of relationship counseling don’t save some relationships. Some of us won’t let courage burst through in our own inner world, let alone with another person.

Courageous Honest Lines for Friends

It takes courage to be honest. Yet, it’s also courage that gives you the strength to say what you really want to say, keeping you free of the damage caused by repression. Depending on your parents or caretakers, you may have been taught honesty’s power, being encouraged to put honesty ahead of politeness and social norms.

Or you could be like Leslie, a main character in Love Has Many Faces. Leslie has an in-your-face attitude. She doesn’t hold back. She and Robin, an up-and-coming playwright, are a world apart, culturally and racially. Yet, it’s Robin’s and Leslie’s personalities that put them most at odds. After all, whereas Leslie is loud and brazen, Robin is gentle, quiet and reserved. If any relationship appears set to be doomed, it’s theirs.

But Leslie and Robin do make their friendship work. They value their relationship, even during the periods when it’s relegated to a long-distance friendship. Does the goodness happen at once? No. But, when it does happen, it last forever or at least until trauma strikes. And, even then, their friendship may not be broken, making Love Has Many Faces, a rewarding friendship book.