By Denise Turney
Unfortunately, alcoholism in America is not a fantasy. It’s left many a child in the clutches of fear and uncertainty.
To be sure, no child should grow up afraid, especially of his parents. Yet, this is the scene that alcoholism has painted for far too many children in the United States. It’s enough that parents with untreated alcoholism cause themselves and their children to feel embarrassment to the point where hiding from the larger society appears to be the only way out of the darkness.
Losing the Right to be a Child
If neighbors, school teachers and other family members don’t intervene, situations children and their alcoholic parents find themselves buried within generally worsen. It’s as though sudden or instant miracles of healing do not come around these families.
When teachers, school administrators, relatives, clergy members and friends approach a child’s alcoholic parents, they should do so in such a way that the child will not be placed in danger as some alcoholic parents may become outraged at being approached, at having their illness revealed. After all, when many of us become ill we often scramble to pretend as if nothing is wrong in effort to hide the illness. But hiding fixes absolutely nothing. Revealing challenges, talking openly about them and facing facts is where progress begins.
It is this goal to hide the festering problems of alcoholism that can keep the illness brewing, ready to erupt and explode . . . perhaps on innocent children. So it is with Raymond Clarke and his father, Malcolm, in Love Pour Over Me. You see, this father and son pair love each other deeply, but Malcolm’s sickness has run its course, done its damage.
It’s gotten to the point where Raymond cringes when he sees loving parents doting over their infant and toddler aged children. In these loving interactions he sees what he longed for as a kid but did not receive. It makes him hard, careful, protective of his heart . . . his emotions. What Raymond experiences may be familiar to children of alcoholics and to children of parents battling beneath the throes of mental illness.
Finding Ways to Fit In
Yet, Raymond finds a way to keep moving forward (and it is, in part, for this very reason that I wrote Love Pour Over Me). If asked, Raymond wouldn’t be able to tell you just how he pulls this off. He’s just glad that he does. As with some children of alcoholic parents Raymond’s talents push through. Perhaps it’s in the expression, the unleashing of his talents, that some of his help rest.
His talents earn him a scholarship to a prestigious university in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. While at university, Raymond meets a motley sort of friends, chief of them being Anthony, an elite running back. Only one of Raymond’s friends is the child of an alcoholic. This friend hails from Mexico. Despite their shared past, Raymond and he couldn’t be more different which may point to the fact that shared experiences do not shape people in the same ways.
Trustfully, children of alcoholic parents (as well as children of parents suffering from other forms of mental illness) will tap into the courage to fully express their inborn talents as Raymond does. This way they can continue to move forward, giving themselves new chances to be loved, more opportunities to both give and receive authentic love. They deserve it.
Thank you for reading my blog. To learn what happens to Raymond, Brenda and the other characters in Love Pour Over Me, hop over to Amazon.com, B&N.com, Ebookit.com and get your copy of Love Pour Over Me today. And again I say – Thank You!