Tag Archives: child abuse

Long Lasting Harm of Abusive Childhood

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By Books Author Denise Turney

child abuse awareness ribbon
Wikimedia Commons – Image by TraumaAndDissociation

Left untreated, effects from an abusive childhood endure. Child abuse appears in different forms. However, physical abuse may be the more widely considered form. Yet, as horrible as physical abuse is, emotional and psychological abuse, including neglect, leave deep, long lasting scars. The trauma is so pervasive that it’s been reported that child abuse actually alters a person’s DNA.

Facing an Abusive Childhood

In fact, Reuters reports that, “Trauma has lasting effects on mental and physical health that may stem from changes to DNA which undermine a person’s ability to rebound from stress, according to new research.” Recent studies on child abuse, like the study conducted by Seth Pollak that’s referenced by Reuters, shed more light on child abuse’s far reaching effects.

Unfortunately, child abuse still doesn’t get the attention that it needs to encourage the right consistent action that’s required to ensure no child is ever abused again. Will people care more about child abuse, report it each time they witness it or have suspicion that it’s occurring, after they become aware of the long-lasting harm of an abusive childhood?

Whether increased awareness will yield permanently good results, saving the lives of countless children, or not is yet to be seen. Right now, these stats are severely troubling. Each day about five children dies from child abuse, according to DoSomething. As many as 68% of children who are sexually abused are abused by a relative. Nearly three million child abuse cases are reported in the United States alone each year.

More Disturbing Child Abuse Stats

Even more, about 70% of children who die daily from child abuse in the United States is younger than three years old. One can only presume how many actual child abuse cases there are, considering cases that are never reported.

Among the deep, jarring hidden wounds of child abuse are genetic brain changes, stress, insomnia, constant feelings of being inadequate, low self-esteem, lack of confidence and ongoing fear. Painful shame, guilt and difficulties forming and maintaining healthy relationships are other hidden wounds of child abuse that time does not heal.

Fact is, it can take years of deep, focused inner work to begin to heal from child abuse. As an adult, people who were abused as a child may smile, laugh and communicate as if there had been absolutely no abuse during their early childhood.

Signs of Child Abuse

But, blending in doesn’t mean that the wounds aren’t there. To recover and learn to love yourself, psychotherapy, meditation, journaling and ongoing efforts at self-care and self-love may be required. Healing also comes through safe relationships like genuine friendships.

The sooner child abuse is spotted, reported, stopped and a child entered into safe places to begin to heal, the better. But, even then, there will be work for the child to do in order to heal.

Child abuse signs include:

  • Child being overly withdrawn
  • Terrified or extremely afraid of making a mistake
  • Unexplained injuries and bruises
  • Repeatedly flinching when someone simply raises her hand
  • Wears long sleeved shirts and long pants during summer to hide injuries
  • Difficulty sitting
  • Age-inappropriate sexual knowledge
  • Efforts to avoid a specific person
  • Misses school frequently
  • Self-harm

Few, if any, long to look upon the ugly part of humanity. But look we must. To stop child abuse, we also must act, reporting instances of this vicious crime. We must be there for children and adults healing from abuse, even if, at the very least, we meet children and suffering adults with sincere kindness and ample patience to give the abused time and room to adjust to a new, better life.

Offering encouragement – Love Pour Over Me – the story of a man raised by a father with untreated alcoholism. An inspirational love story written to help readers heal.

Child Abuse Signs to Look Out For

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By Freelance Writer and Books Author Denise Turney

signs of child abuse

Stop Child Abuse Picture by OshaneB at Wikimedia Commons

Child abuse signs extend beyond bruises, swollen limbs and fractures. Emotional and psychological scars, though harder to detect, run deep, last a long time. And there are instances when a child’s injuries are due to a fall or an accident. Still, as it regards a child, should you witness potential abuse or neglect, make the child top priority.

Stop Child Abuse 

Do something.

For instance, you could ask the child how they got injured. If your child is a friend of the injured child, they could also ask the child how she got injured. Depending on the level of trust between the kids, the abused child might reveal what’s happening to them to your kid.

Suspect abuse or neglect? Alert authorities, a step that you could take anonymously. Call 911 if a child has been injured or shows signs of neglect. Don’t wait or just pray about it. What you do now could save a child years of emotional or psychological trauma.

Medical professionals, teachers and school administrators receive training on how to identify and respond to child abuse signs. They could be a good resource to help stop abuse or neglect. The important thing is to take action, do something to protect and care for the child.

Far Reaching Impact of Childhood Neglect

Left to continue, abuse during formative years can cause a range of harmful conditions. Including among these conditions are:

  • Getting emotionally, sexually or mentally “stuck” at the age that the trauma happened
  • Difficulty communicating with others
  • Disassociation
  • Panic attacks
  • PTSD
  • Depression
  • Irrational anger
  • Insomnia
  • Eating disorders
  • Isolation

Unfortunately, those are not the only conditions that can result from being abused or neglected as a child. Larger society often doesn’t pay attention to the conditions until someone who experienced abuse or neglect deals with the trauma in anti-social ways. Doing something right away could prevent future tragedies. Every child deserves to grow up in a safe, loving environment.

Child Abuse Signs Aren’t Always Easy to Detect

As it regards abuse, signs of sexual abuse can be hard to detect due to the fact that the abused child may work hard to keep the abuse secret. Shame, guilt and embarrassment are emotions that even hard-wired adults try to avoid. Imagine how much a child would want to steer clear of these emotions. Yet, there are signs that a child might have been sexually abused. These signs include an abused child:

• Talking with other children about age-inappropriate sexual fantasies, ideas or facts
• Asking other children sexually charged questions
• Showing other children pornography
• Touching other children inappropriately
• Having sex with a child (it doesn’t matter if the child doesn’t protest)

Abusive Neglect

Abandonment and emotional abuse range from belittling or bullying children to calling children derogatory names. This type of abuse can have lifelong effects. During childhood, humans undergo extensive psychological conditioning. Name calling, belittling and abandonment can set a child up for serious self-esteem issues.

This type of abuse can also make it hard for adults to form healthy emotional attachments. Examples of abandonment are forcing children to stay in their room or a certain part of the house alone and leaving children at home alone for hours or a day or longer.

An adult caregiver showing more respect for a boyfriend or girlfriend could be another form of abandonment, especially if a child is merely fed and sheltered while a parent enjoys the honeymoon stage of a new relationship. A parent allowing their boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse to abuse a child is also abandonment and neglect.

Abuse from Childhood to Adulthood

Children who wear long sleeved clothes during the height of summer may be hiding bruises or scars. Other less direct signs of child abuse include:

• Children withdrawing from family and friends
• A child finding it hard to make or keep friends
• Low self-esteem
• Fear of other people
• Expecting to be ridiculed or bullied
• Not wanting to go home
• Running away from home
• Constant headaches or stomach aches
• Overeating or under eating
• Sleeping for long periods or staying in bed most of the day
• Insomnia
• Seeking constant approval or praise
• Fear of trying new things due to fear of being shouted at for making a mistake

Love Pour Over Me gives a glimpse of what can happen to an adult who has suffered years of abuse. It takes Raymond decades to stop being afraid of love. That wait comes at a price for Raymond and real-life child abuse victims. Do what you can to stop child abuse now.

Growing up Beneath a Hard Childhood

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By Denise Turney

Childhood is supposed to be filled with laughter, playfulness, happiness, exploration and learning. It’s a time when our subconscious minds are developing. If we are surrounded by love, affection, support and care we learn to trust ourselves and others while we are children.

However, childhood isn’t always filled with fairy tale experiences. Childhood doesn’t always follow love’s plan. Sometimes our parents are too bruised to care for us. Yet, keeping to traditions and perhaps, out of a sense of obligation and guilt, they may struggle to give us what they realize children need to thrive. They may try .  . .

Childhood Gaps at Love

What we don’t receive from our parents we may spend the remainder of our physical experience searching for. We may seek love, affection and confirmation in strange faces. World travels or moving from one neighborhood to another may attract us, whispering to us that the acceptance we longed for and sought as a child is in these new places.

After awhile it may start to feel as if life is playing a mean, a very cruel, trick on us, sending us around in circles in search of love . . . the very thing we were created with . . . the very thing no one can survive without. This is Raymond Clarke’s (the main character in my new book, Love Pour Over Me) story. It’s a backdrop Raymond doesn’t want. Unbeknownst to Raymond, it’s also a backdrop his father, Malcolm, a man with untreated alcoholism, doesn’t want.

Every Child Needs Love

Reports attest that Raymond Clarke is not alone. In fact, according to Child Help as many as 6 million children are reported as suffering beneath abuse in the United States alone. Every day five of those children don’t make it. Their stories are not fictional like Raymond’s. Because they are young and physically small in stature, adult abusers may feel empowered when dealing with them. Over time these children may start to think like their abusers, that it’s always someone else who has the power over them, controlling them . . . enforcing their will upon them.

Yet, these children are not disempowered. They need a voice, support, someone to stand in the gap for them until they step into their own true power. For Raymond this person never comes. He gathers his strength from within, until he can leave home . . . striking out on his own in search of happiness, peace and, of course . . . love. He also uses his talents and gifts to make a name for himself, to start to connect to and feel his true strength. It is my hope that Raymond Clarke’s story will inspire adults (and the people who love them) who have grown up beneath a hard childhood, to tap into their true power, leave old hurts and haunts in the past and . . . thrive in love’s glory.

After all, it’s only love that will save Raymond . . . all of us.

Thank you for reading my blog. To learn what happens to Raymond, Brenda and the other characters in Love Pour Over Me, hop over to Amazon.com, B&N.com, Ebookit.com ($3.03 – lowest price I’ve found so far) and get your copy of Love Pour Over Me today. And again I say – Thank You! Consider Love.

Sources:

http://www.childhelp.org/pages/statistics (Child Help)

Report child abuse and love every child you see (young or old). We all need it!