Falling in Love with an African American Man

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Falling in love with an African American man can be beyond words rewarding. The relationship that you share with an African America man can be insightful, deeply engaging, nourishing and long lasting. So, why aren’t more African American women enjoying these relationships?

Rolling Relationship Dice

For starters, romantic love seems to just happen. You weren’t trying to join in love. In fact, you may have sworn off joining in love with another person. And yet, it has happened.  

African American woman hugging African American man she loves
African American man and woman couple smiling, Wikimedia Commons Picture

Feels like rolling relationship dice. What you do now could impact your relationship for months, years. You could do yourself a favor and not give meaning to what the man you just met does or says. If the feelings are mutual, this gorgeous African American man could be trying to woe you.

He wants you just as you (although you may hate to admit it) want him. He may tell you what he thinks that you want to hear.

Instead of giving meaning to what he says and does as soon as you two meet, consider becoming an observer. Allow this African American man the room to be himself. Avoid steering him with judgment, praise or compliments. Observe and watch where his inner compass is headed.

Romantic Relationship Curiosity Pays Off

Consider holding back on placing a goal on the relationship. After all, you two just met. Just because strong emotions have erupted doesn’t mean that the relationship has to end in marriage. If you think back over other times when you’ve been an African American woman in love, you might see how beneficial observing without judgment or goals could be right now.

As strong, smart and insightful as you are, that doesn’t mean that you and the wonderful man you just met don’t have baggage to let go of. It doesn’t mean that you and the man you just met don’t have childhood trauma to work through.

Curiosity in what could become a blooming romance may allow valuable insights from this African American man and you to surface. As a smart woman, you may find that it’s best to work on your communication skills, patience, forgiveness and self-awareness before you advance further into the relationship.

Honesty Matters

An example of this could be allowing the man to be himself and observing him being patient with a new store cashier or cutting off a waiter who make mistakes with your dinner order. If he practices self-awareness and he’s loving, he should catch himself and change his unloving behavior all on his own.

Another example could be you saying Up just because he said Down or you saying Right just because he said Left. Be honest. Have you done this in other relationships? Are you afraid that you will lose something, perhaps yourself, if you are agreeable? Think about working on this communication habit before you advance the relationship. Your decision could save you headaches down the road.

Both of these examples are instances when you accept what is. You don’t rationalize, ignore, hide from, lie about or try to explain away what is happening. You observe and accept what is.

Moving Beyond Childhood Trauma

If the relationship proves rooted in love, you could be entering a blessed union, even if it doesn’t lead to marriage. You’re an African American woman who’s investing in herself and the beautiful African American man you love.

African American romantic relationship picture of couple in park
Smiling African American man and African American woman in park – Wikimedia Commons Picture

Together you can move beyond challenges and childhood trauma. This is what Brenda decides in Love Pour Over Me. She’s young, in her early 20s, when she meets Raymond, an incredibly gifted and loving African American man.

But Brenda’s not curious enough. She’s also scared of being hurt. She scared of disappointing her family by choosing the wrong man to share her life with. You can learn from Brenda. There’s no need to repeat her mistakes.

Childhood Trauma Signs

Outbursts and anxious behavior that catches you or the African American man who you’re in love with off guard (as though you have no idea why you said or did something) are signs that you may have childhood trauma to move beyond. Being shocked by what you say or do may be a sign that there’s an unhealed part of your mind outside your conscious awareness. Shutting down emotionally or abruptly ending communication with people you love, people you know care for you, are other signs that there may be childhood trauma to work through.

Unexplained irritability, fatigue and worry are other potential signs. The relationship is new. The man or you could be triggering past memories that one or both of you have been running from for decades, just as Raymond runs from his childhood trauma in Love Pour Over Me.

This is when your budding relationship could be a gift. Consider not forcing your relationship to fit into an image or fantasy that you’ve been wanting. Stay curious and allow the relationship to unfold organically. (Warning: This might be harder than you think.)

Invest in Personal Awakening

Should you become aware of childhood trauma in yourself or the African American man you love, invest in personal awakening. The man will have to invest in his own personal awakening. You can’t make this decision for him. If he doesn’t choose to do this, consider moving on. You should always be advancing.

Taking time each day to be still and remember the Creator is the best personal investment. Drinking plenty of fresh water, exercising, getting ample sleep and treating yourself to nature stays (e.g., outdoor walks, bike rides, reading good books while sitting outside on the porch) are ways to invest in personal awakening.

African American romantic relationship couple dining picture
Older Loving African American Couple – Wikimedia Commons Picture

Keeping a journal, writing down your dreams, meditating and listening to soothing music are other ways to invest in personal awakening. Being honest with what you feel and think may be at the top of the list of ways to invest in personal awakening. Above all, do not lie to yourself even if the truth means that this marvelous African American man and you are not ready to enter a romantic relationship.

Ongoing Support for Loving Relationship

Be patient with yourself whether you’re an amazing African American woman who’s moving forward with this relationship or an amazing African American woman who’s letting this new relationship go.

Ask for help should you get stuck or feel like you can’t get through childhood trauma on your own. There may be no greater act of loving yourself. Support may come in the form of discussion support groups, counseling or therapy with a licensed psychotherapist. Should you choose this path, consider working with a licensed therapist who has completed deep therapy herself. Avoid receiving treatment from an unhealed therapist who is not consistently working on herself.

After all, we are all awakening. If you’re looking for a book that shows an African American couple working through childhood trauma and investing in personal awakening, consider Love Pour Over Me.

Get your copy of “Love Pour Over Me” Now

Love and Success – See Yourself There Right Now

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photo of woman standing on sunflower field with her arms up in love with success
Woman Celebrating Success Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Love and success are part of your natural DNA. Yet you have to be willing to receive these blessings. Fortunately, there is never a reason to delay receiving either. It’s worth noting that love and success are not in the past or in the future.

Receive Love and Success Now

They are just not there. Instead, they are in the present, where the point of power is. There is no past. There is no future. This instant is the only time where you can make a change. Now!

Don’t put off taking the actions that can bring you the change you want. This instant is the only time that you can bring change into your life. If you think about it, you’ll see – there really is no future. And you can’t go back to the past. You can change everything right now! Right now, you can see yourself where you want to be, having the amazing experiences that you want. Don’t see yourself there in the future – See yourself there RIGHT NOW!

That’s power! Why don’t you use that power to make the choices that insulate you in peace and joy! You can do it right now! Nothing anywhere can stop you! Seeking an example?

Mulukan accepted her point of power when she was six-years old. She walked away from the only safety that she knew, the people she had grown up with, the only people she had known.

Make History

That choice led her through arduous experiences, ones that found her contemplating quitting on her entire life. At the instant when all seemed lost, as if she would only fail, Mulukan received help from the most unlikely places.

Fortunately, for Mulukan, she was still at a place where it was easy for her to trust. Choice by choice in the point of power (this very instant), she made it from abject poverty into her marvelous destiny! She could have stayed where her physical eyes told her it was safe and ended up drowning in misery, boredom and complacency. That’s not what Mulukan chose. Her courageous choice saw her become the first woman president of a country in Africa.

Ready for love and success? Ready to see yourself there RIGHT NOW? Do this for 3 to 5 minutes a day – REALLY see yourself where you want to be and watch what happens!

You can read about Mulukan’s story in Long Walk Up. 

Ready to Leave a Painful Childhood Behind?

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By Freelance Writer and Books Author Denise Turney

Do you know what one of the hardest parts of death is? You know, you absolutely know, that you cannot go back and change a single thing.

Love Pour Over Me Book on painful childhood cover among stack of books
Love Pour Over Me Book Cover Graphic

If you’re reading this, you might be nodding in agreement at that point, especially if you recently experienced the death of someone dear to you. In fact, desire to say or do something different as it regards that loved one might be disrupting your peace.

Living Free of Past Painful Childhood Illusions

But here’s the thing. It may be an illusion that you can change a single iota of the past just because you’re still breathing, even events from a painful childhood. Ever. The past really is done. It’s over. It passes moment by moment . . . day by day.

With that truth in mind, how would you change your life right now? How would you relate to the person you’re avoiding, the person whose opinion you value so much it hurts each time you imagine that they disapprove of you? Which ways would you treat a colleague, in-law, neighbor, blood relative or former friend if you knew that nothing you say or do can ever be erased?

Would you continue plotting how you’re going to get even with your spouse or beau because they forgot your birthday, took credit for work you did or wouldn’t back down during an argument? If possible, would you tell your child how much she irritates or frustrates you again? And would you remain committed to hardening your heart?

Choose this and you’ll be choosing to drag unforgiveness, not to mention unresolved trauma, around. Why would you choose to do this?

Signs That You’re Stuck in a Painful Childhood

As it regards a painful childhood, if you could, how would you change your present life? What behavior and thought patterns would you change now? How would you create a better past for yourself, a past you would always be at peace recalling?

If you’re stuck in the past, you may need to work with a professional or practice intentional self-care to break free. Types of past events that you could be hooked on include the death of a parent, a romantic relationship breakup, a job layoff or a natural disaster that destroyed your home.

Signs that you’re living in a past that’s rooted in a painful childhood include:

  • Clinging to people or objects (hoarding)
  • Irrational fears
  • Emotional outbursts
  • Difficulty feeling or expressing healthy emotion

Inability to form close, enriching relationships may be another sign that you’re dragging a regrettable past experience around in your psyche.

It’s time to stop. Dragging the past around comes at a high price. It works like a contaminant that erodes present-day encounters. To say it’s a joy and peace thief is an understatement.

Choosing Life

If you’re afraid and don’t want to examine a regrettable past firsthand, empower yourself by taking a peek at someone else’s life. Get an account of the depth of damage continuing to live in the past causes. You’re probably already doing this, sizing up the impact of your parents’, grandparents’, church members’ and friends’ choices.

It’s easy to see where these people went wrong. But being a spectator leaves you on the sidelines, keeps you from moving forward. Raymond Clarke learns this lesson the hard way in Love Pour Over Me. All he can see are his father’s and his mother’s awful mistakes, how they hurt him, how they set him up for a hard life.

Stop Running from the Past

Then, Raymond decides to run as far away from his past as possible. If you’re running from your past, you’re probably wondering how it’ll work out. You’re probably wondering if it’s truly possible to run far enough away from old memories and old feelings to live free of a painful childhood.

For Raymond, freedom doesn’t come until he revisits the past in an honest, healthy way. Are you ready to go back? Are you ready to revisit the hard spots in your life that are arresting your development? Give yourself the chance to learn how to truly break free of the past and accept real love right now.

Road to Freedom

Ways to get free start with acknowledging that you’re living in the past. Other actions toward freedom include:

  • Journaling about past experiences that stir up anger, fear and sorrow
  • Writing down your dreams and seeing if they offer guidance toward freedom
  • Forgiving people who mistreated you
  • Working with a reputable, experienced and licensed professional
  • Looking out for yourself from this day forward
  • Trusting yourself and taking new, loving chances

Prove you love yourself the way you wish others had proven that they loved you. After all, you’re in the driver seat now. Treat yourself good.

Get your copy of “Love Pour Over Me” Now                                        

You Don’t Know Everything

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By Books Author Denise Turney

film actress professional photo you don't know everything
Wikimedia Commons

It feels thrilling to know that you’re right. You feel like you’ve won, as if you’ve outwitted someone else. On top of that, you might feel as if you’re better than another person. Good feelings aside, striving to be right is a trap. There’s just too much you don’t know. Try enough new things and you’ll see that you don’t know everything.

Accepting that is freeing. After all, when you’re proven wrong, it feels as if you’ve had something taken from you, as if you actually lost something. Although you could hide it, you might feel small. You could feel like you need to protect yourself.

What do you believe about yourself?

Fear associated with being proven wrong affects every facet of life. It’s why parents, psychologists, business leaders and human resources specialists guide in private and praise in public. Anthony Robbins, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, Lisa Nichols, Les Brown and other thought leaders reference this when they talk about the scarcity belief.

Our ego is always on the lookout for a potential threat. The ego is always on the lookout for what it thinks might attack or take away from it, believing that loss is actually possible.

Then, our ego creates defense systems (i.e., disassociation, aggression) as a way to protect itself and to avoid change. None of the ego’s defense systems work. They can become addictive. They can also make sickness, but help and heal, they cannot do.

What are your beliefs keeping you from?

Believing that you know everything is an ego defense. But think about what this does. Thinking that you know everything about a person, an organization, a situation or the past, present or future keeps you from:

  • Lasting, positive change
  • Internal advancement
  • Enlightenment
  • Awakening to truth
  • Accepting new ideas and thoughts
  • Peace and joy
  • Sense of truth fulfillment
  • What you really want
  • Better, more rewarding relationships
  • Feeling safe

As a writer or book publisher, thinking that you know everything could be the reason why you haven’t received ideas on how you can connect with more readers, generate more book sales or write better stories. Keep in mind that the ego is always on the lookout for a threat. It is always seeking a way to protect itself. One of the best ways that the ego avoids threat is by keeping you bound (away from real change) and stagnant. It does this at conscious and unconscious levels. Fear is its primary tool.

Signs that the ego is at work

If you feel angry, attacked, ridiculed, embarrassed or small when someone corrects something that you said or did, your ego may be in full effect. If you feel afraid to speak in public, introduce yourself to someone or reach out for help, your ego could be telling you that you don’t have enough value to do those things.

They are lies.

Art, particularly writing, is an area where the ego gets tested regularly.

As a writer, you are going to receive feedback on your work. If you’re afraid of feedback, you may refuse to work with an editor. Okay. So, don’t work with an editor. You’ll hear from readers and book reviewers instead. But you are going to get feedback and you probably won’t like all of it.

Accept that nothing can change God’s will. Nothing can change what God created or how God created anything. God created you perfect. You do not have to know everything. You cannot lose anything. Your worth cannot diminish.

Move forward with an open mind. Accept when you are wrong, knowing that your ideas and decisions are not YOU. The more open you are to accepting feedback, the better your works may become. Being open to feedback can help you to remove blinders. It can help you to develop the types of stories that readers appreciate. It can position you for greater success. Remember. You don’t have to know everything, especially if you trust the One who does.

Get your copy of “Love Pour Over Me” Now at –http://www.ebookit.com/books/0000001582/Love-Pour-Over-Me.html

Child Abuse Signs to Look Out For

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By Freelance Writer and Books Author Denise Turney

signs of child abuse

Stop Child Abuse Picture by OshaneB at Wikimedia Commons

Child abuse signs extend beyond bruises, swollen limbs and fractures. Emotional and psychological scars, though harder to detect, run deep, last a long time. And there are instances when a child’s injuries are due to a fall or an accident. Still, as it regards a child, should you witness potential abuse or neglect, make the child top priority.

Stop Child Abuse 

Do something.

For instance, you could ask the child how they got injured. If your child is a friend of the injured child, they could also ask the child how she got injured. Depending on the level of trust between the kids, the abused child might reveal what’s happening to them to your kid.

Suspect abuse or neglect? Alert authorities, a step that you could take anonymously. Call 911 if a child has been injured or shows signs of neglect. Don’t wait or just pray about it. What you do now could save a child years of emotional or psychological trauma.

Medical professionals, teachers and school administrators receive training on how to identify and respond to child abuse signs. They could be a good resource to help stop abuse or neglect. The important thing is to take action, do something to protect and care for the child.

Far Reaching Impact of Childhood Neglect

Left to continue, abuse during formative years can cause a range of harmful conditions. Including among these conditions are:

  • Getting emotionally, sexually or mentally “stuck” at the age that the trauma happened
  • Difficulty communicating with others
  • Disassociation
  • Panic attacks
  • PTSD
  • Depression
  • Irrational anger
  • Insomnia
  • Eating disorders
  • Isolation

Unfortunately, those are not the only conditions that can result from being abused or neglected as a child. Larger society often doesn’t pay attention to the conditions until someone who experienced abuse or neglect deals with the trauma in anti-social ways. Doing something right away could prevent future tragedies. Every child deserves to grow up in a safe, loving environment.

Child Abuse Signs Aren’t Always Easy to Detect

As it regards abuse, signs of sexual abuse can be hard to detect due to the fact that the abused child may work hard to keep the abuse secret. Shame, guilt and embarrassment are emotions that even hard-wired adults try to avoid. Imagine how much a child would want to steer clear of these emotions. Yet, there are signs that a child might have been sexually abused. These signs include an abused child:

• Talking with other children about age-inappropriate sexual fantasies, ideas or facts
• Asking other children sexually charged questions
• Showing other children pornography
• Touching other children inappropriately
• Having sex with a child (it doesn’t matter if the child doesn’t protest)

Abusive Neglect

Abandonment and emotional abuse range from belittling or bullying children to calling children derogatory names. This type of abuse can have lifelong effects. During childhood, humans undergo extensive psychological conditioning. Name calling, belittling and abandonment can set a child up for serious self-esteem issues.

This type of abuse can also make it hard for adults to form healthy emotional attachments. Examples of abandonment are forcing children to stay in their room or a certain part of the house alone and leaving children at home alone for hours or a day or longer.

An adult caregiver showing more respect for a boyfriend or girlfriend could be another form of abandonment, especially if a child is merely fed and sheltered while a parent enjoys the honeymoon stage of a new relationship. A parent allowing their boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse to abuse a child is also abandonment and neglect.

Abuse from Childhood to Adulthood

Children who wear long sleeved clothes during the height of summer may be hiding bruises or scars. Other less direct signs of child abuse include:

• Children withdrawing from family and friends
• A child finding it hard to make or keep friends
• Low self-esteem
• Fear of other people
• Expecting to be ridiculed or bullied
• Not wanting to go home
• Running away from home
• Constant headaches or stomach aches
• Overeating or under eating
• Sleeping for long periods or staying in bed most of the day
• Insomnia
• Seeking constant approval or praise
• Fear of trying new things due to fear of being shouted at for making a mistake

Love Pour Over Me gives a glimpse of what can happen to an adult who has suffered years of abuse. It takes Raymond decades to stop being afraid of love. That wait comes at a price for Raymond and real-life child abuse victims. Do what you can to stop child abuse now.

Sports Greats Who Walk Away from the Game too Soon

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track and field sports greats competing in close race
Track and field sports greats crossing finish line

By Books Author Denise Turney

Sports greats invest years of razor-sharp focus, commitment and practice into their chosen field. Their performances do more than grab our attention. They make life’s challenges feel less arduous. Don’t think so? Ever catch your gaze glued to the television screen, caught up in the back and forth of a sports competition?

Acrobatic end zone catches, the pass you thought your favorite wide receiver could never make but did. The perfect somersault landing that your top gymnast scored. A track and field competitor’s stride opening like a gazelle’s, allowing the middle-distance runner to win another Olympic gold medal.

It’s hard to ignore incredible sports feats. No wonder you find it impossible to turn away from the television. You don’t want this suspended amazement to end. Live vicariously through sports greats and you could go on winning indirectly forever watching professional sports, college competitions and open races at events like the Penn Relays.  

Sports great addiction

While you are glued to a sports competition, you probably forget about a struggle at work, an argument that you had with your beau or a bill that just came in the mail you know you don’t have the money to pay. That alone can make tuning into spots addictive.

After all, who doesn’t want to forget their problems? Yet, sports greats, the best of the gladiators, are human. If they entered their field with a one-track mind, by the time they invest 10 years into their sport, it’s highly unlikely that they still have a one-track mind.

Barry Sanders, Justine Henin, Jim Brown and Lorena Ochoa are sports greats who proved they didn’t have a one-track mind. Jim Brown went into acting and took up social struggles. Barry stepped into a well-balanced life. At least that what it looks like from the outside. Yet, it might be the fact that sports heroes actually think about something other than sport that alarms spectators most.

Why sports greats let you down

You also might want sports greats to entertain you more, longer. It’s as if you think they let you down when they chose to pursue a different goal. It’s this bitter taste that Raymond Clarke can leave in you, especially if you’re an avid sports fan.

You watch sports greats like Raymond Clarke, a major player in Love Pour Over Me, work hard to reach the top of their game. They push past some of life’s hardest challenges. You watch these sports greats keep going no matter what. Admit it. You root for them. Forget personality flaws. You want your favorite athletes to win.

And then, just when you thought they were on track to win for another five years, they up and retire. They quit the sport that they’ve loved since they were a kid, the very sport that you still love, but only from the sidelines.

Why it’s so hard to let sports greats retire

It’s hard to digest that you might spend the rest of your days trying to figure out why a sports great walked away from the game too soon. Think about it. It happened with Barry Sanders and Jim Brown, to name two sports greats.

Sports commentators and fans still try to figure out why Barry and Jim walked away from football when they did. It’s almost as if we want the right to tell sports greats when they can retire. That time would never be before you’re emotionally and psychologically ready.

Get your copy of Love Pour Over Me

Courageous Patience for New Beginnings

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beautiful heart patience pendant

By Novel Writer Denise Turney

New beginnings are welcomed, celebrated. At the same time, they are feared, avoided. Have you ever dealt with a loss that you knew, deep down, you just knew, took the old you with it? It may have been the loss of a child, the loss of a parent, sibling or even the loss of a job that you’d worked for more than 30 years.

Please Leave Things the Way They Were

For you, there is no going back. If you’re particularly reluctant to release your former life, the only life you may have known, you might return to a former residence, seriously consider moving back home or seek out another job that reminds you so much of the job you just left.

The person who tries to toss out or move your deceased child’s clothes might be greeted with a powerful show of anger and distaste from you. “Leave it the way it is” might be your cry. It’s understandable.

Reinventing a brand-new life and evolving into new beginnings is no easy task. This reinvention demands that you examine your deepest beliefs. Yes. Get forced to let go of everything that you knew, and you will ask profound questions. It makes perfectly good sense. After all, the ground beneath your feet has shifted.

When Trusting New Beginnings Is Hard

Trust may be a hard to surface as you progress through your former life and move toward new beginnings. Love Pour Over Me‘s Raymond Clarke knows all too well about these awkward, painful adjustments.

It takes him a long time, decades, to learn to release his past life. Because of this, it takes him a long time to receive the love that awaits him, love he won’t receive until after one of the most important people in his life departs this world.

Are you at a crossroads? Or are you trying to cope with a painful loss? Perhaps Raymond’s story will speak to you. His story is the fictional account of volumes of real-life stories that fill newspaper, magazine and journal archives. Through his life you might find an answer that you are seeking.

New Beginnings – When You Experience Real Pain

You might find a path or technique that helps you to move forward, to enter a rewarding new beginning. As Raymond learns in Love Pour Over Me, be patient with yourself. It really does take courageous patience to advance into new beginnings.

Depending on the depth of the shift, you might start out feeling numb, detached from the loss. Crying might be something you rarely, if ever, do. This is a time when people around you (family, colleagues, neighbors, friends) might think you’re strong.

Because it reduces their need to alter their lives in order to deal with the great change you’re in the middle of, they may like you better this way versus seeing you sob. For this reason, meditating and spending time alone resting could be paramount as you move forward, never to be the same again.

Courageous Patience for the New Road Ahead

People you know might tell you that you really know how to trust God if you display little to no emotion around the loss. But they are only seeing your mask. And they might be grateful for that. Your mask rewards them with the illusion that things really haven’t changed that much and that after a certain amount of time, things will go back to the way they were before the loss occurred.

But that’s not going to happen. Ever.

Which is why it takes courageous patience to advance into new beginnings. Bless yourself with the patience to fall, get back up, fall again and wobble or crawl back up. Gift yourself with the patience to let your emotions rock, stand in the fear of the unknown and accept that you don’t now (nor ever did) know all there is to know about anything.

Favor yourself with patience as you struggle to release the past. Give yourself time to create a brand-new life. After all, this is a new life that you (not someone else) are going to live. Don’t rush it. Be exceptionally kind and gentle with yourself even if others are not.

Look For Cues

Look within for cues that you’re on the right path. Permit yourself to experience joy and happiness, even as you work your way through grief. Your courageous patience is a sign of self-love.

This same courageous patience might serve as a light to other people years from now. Your courageous patience to begin again might help to lead others out of a past that no longer works just as Raymond Clarke’s journey has done in the book Love Pour Over Me.

What Happens When Light and Darkness Dance

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By Denise Turney


love flowers

Wikimedia Commons – GNU Free Documentation License

The best experiences in this world still seem to showcase the illusion that there’s a dance between light and darkness. Sweet dreams are challenged by family departures, political upheaval, economic crisis and relationship disappointments. By the time you do fulfill a dream or reach the top of a long term goal, you might feel fatigued.

Getting to the top is only part of the path

Then, there’s the work of maintaining the levels of success that you worked hard to gain. If you earn an income as an athlete and you’ve been competing for longer than 15 years, you know how hard it is to accept that, despite how hard you work out or despite how many mental exercises, including meditation, that you engage in, you’re aging body is changing in ways that will soon force you away from the sport you love so much.

It happens to parents who invest years into their children only to stand at the edge of the front yard and watch those same children, now grown adults, drive away from the house that they grew up in for the last time. Intervals between change, times when you feel or sense that something is about to happen that you have no control over, can be tough.

Letting go is part of this world’s dance

You’ve got it. Life in this world is a series of “embraces” and “let gos“. It’s the “let gos” that can make it feel like darkness is dancing with light. You win to let go of the life experiences that made you feel like you were on top.

If you’re like Raymond Clarke, the main character in the novel Love Pour Over Me, you might seek the safest life possible as an attempt to avoid having to let go of someone or something you love. For Raymond, the dance started early, when Raymond was only two years old.

Continuing to move forward – advance; keep loving

That’s when Raymond’s mother abandoned him, leaving him to fend for himself while he grew up with his father, Malcolm. After Raymond’s mother abandon’s him, Malcolm sinks deep into untreated alcoholism. It’s at this point that Raymond becomes much more than a son. It’s at this point that Raymond becomes a target for his father’s disappointments, rage, fear and hurt.

It’s a miracle that Raymond survives, but survive Raymond does. Yet, a hard childhood has left Raymond with emotional and psychological wounds. Raymond carries these wounds with him to university in Pennsylvania. As much as Raymond seeks to conceal his wounds, they seep into his relationships, especially his closest relationships.

And the dance begins.

Get your copy of “Love Pour Over Me” Now at –

http://www.ebookit.com/books/0000001582/Love-Pour-Over-Me.html

Sources:

Amazon.com – http://www.amazon.com/Love-Pour-Over-Me-ebook/dp/B007MC0Z2C

Barnes & Noble – http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/love-pour-over-me-denise-turney/1109600654

Book Readers Need These 3 Things

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By Denise Turney


Love pour over me website

Book readers need three things when dealing with book writers. Relationships are at the core of each of these three things. As a book writer, if you fail to give book readers these three things, you could fail to gain book sales, disappoint book readers or even lose existing book sales. James Baldwin, J. K. Rowling, John Irvin, Toni Morrison, Jane Austen, August Wilson and Lorraine Hansberry are a few authors who understand the importance of two of these three musts.

Book readers want challenging relationships

To grow your career as a new author, you need to get these three things down early. As a new book author, you need to develop characters that make it easy for book readers to feel like they are in real relationships with their fictional characters. You might not love the storyline. But, if you read Lord of the Rings, you probably couldn’t forget Frodo Baggins, Gandalf or Gollum.

Not a Lord of the Rings fan? Think about your favorite novels. Next, think about one or more characters in those novels that you feel deeply connected to, that you care about. How easy was it to put that novel down, turning away from a character who left a deep impression on you?

Focus on character development

Focus on character development; it’s at the heart of what talented authors do. It’s also why talented novelists keep their characters in periods of uncertainty, cliff hangers, conflict and challenge. Even flawed novel characters have at least one trait that you, the book reader, judge as positive or valuable.

Who can forget Dr. Hyde, Mrs. Henry Lafayette Duobse in To Kill a Mockingbird or the money grubbing businessman in Spiral? Bad characters fuel Tyler Perry’s latest television series, shows like The Haves and Have Nots. Without characters who are struggling with darkness books like Harry Potter, Star Wars and Lord of the Rings might not have intrigued millions of readers.

These inner struggles may remind of us hidden parts of ourselves, parts we long to deny. What is certain is that flawed characters demand our attention. After you start to care about a character, it’s hard to not care what happens to that character. Discovering what happens to a character requires that you keep reading, keep turning pages in a book. Even more, building a book readership demands that you give readers the types of relationships with novel characters that readers not only care about, but relationships that readers will feel, almost as if the fictional encounters are real.

Major characters relating to minor characters

In addition to feeling connected to one or more characters in a novel, book readers want to find value in observing, watching or witnessing exchanges that occur between a main character and minor characters in a novel. It’s a fact. There’s an element of voyeurism in fictional story digesting.

Book readers want to watch their favorite novel characters interact with other characters. After all, it’s those relationships that drive the story. Rarely is it the case that a story’s setting works like a character. Fictional stories where this happened include Castaway, On Golden Pond and Wind River.

J. California Cooper, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, Joyce Carol Oates, Alice Walker and Gloria Naylor are among the novelists who are highly skilled at character interaction. These skilled authors make developing great character interactions look easy.

Third thing book readers love

The third element that book readers need to love a story and a novelist’s work might surprise you. Book readers want to enjoy a rewarding relationship with a novel’s author. An author’s relationship with book readers could come through book signings, book readings, cultural festivals that authors serve as panelists or keynote speakers at.

Direct email, holiday greetings, free new book excerpts and question and answer sessions at the end of speaking engagements or radio interviews are other avenues through which an author’s relationship with book readers could develop. These aren’t personal relationships.

Instead, they are artistic relationships that focus on art that writers create. Rewards of these boo reader relationships include the chance for authors to let book readers know what drives a character or why the author had a character perform a specific act.

If book readers and authors do connect during events like book club meetings, book conferences and book signings, readers could gain a fourth relationship. Readers could meet and start friendships with other book lovers.

Thank you for reading my blog. To learn what happens to Raymond, Brenda and the other characters in Love Pour Over Me, hop over to Amazon.com, B&N.com, Ebookit.com, or any other online or offline bookseller and get your copy of Love Pour Over Me today. And again I say – Thank You! Consider Love.

7 Great Reasons to Read The Love Pour Over Me Book

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By Denise Turney



Love Pour Over Me BookLove Pour Over Me is a book that takes a realistic look at a complicated parent/child relationship. When I first started writing Love Pour Over Me, it was emotionally easy. As I fleshed Malcolm and Raymond out more, it got harder to keep writing at the same fast pace that I had started writing the novel with.

Why? Memories from my own childhood were starting to arise, muddying the process involved in getting the first full draft of the story on paper.

Love Pour Over Me was not an easy book to write

As with each book that I have written, including Portia, Spiral, Long Walk Up, Rosetta’s Great Adventure and Love Has Many Faces, bits and pieces of my own history were finding their way into the pages of Love Pour Over Me. Believe it or not, this fact is what makes writing books a boundless blessing.

Once a story dredges up deep emotion in me as an author, I have no choice except to revisit my own unique, personal “real life” past and deal with the emotional root. Authors who do this work can finally go free of personal thought and behavior patterns that may have plagued them for years.

Another blessing that strong emotions offer me as an author is directly related to the novel. Strong emotions that I feel easily transfer to the page. It’s this emotion that connects readers to characters.

For me, this is when I absolutely love creating novels.

Adult problems with trying to understand a mysterious childhood

Although I didn’t grow up with an alcoholic parent like Raymond (Love Pour Over Me’s main character), as with many people, I saw my fair share of struggles as a kid. I tried to understand unclear and hard-to-explain events that were happening around me; like you did when you were a kid, I tried to explain the hard-to-explain through the eyes of a very young child.

It’s these attempts to explain the mysterious that can cause childhood and adult confusion. Add the drive to be right and it’s easy to see why people like Raymond Clarke get stuck. The thing is that Raymond is not alone. He’s not the only person who develops defense systems to avoid future hurts. He’s not the only one who keeps expecting childhood survival strategies to work effectively after he becomes an adult.

Here are the seven great reasons to read the Love Pour Over Me book

If you’ve even once struggled to make sense of your life, especially your childhood, you might get more than you’d imagine from reading Love Pour Over Me. You might see the value in taking the time to do the personal, inner work to finally move forward. Additionally, you might fall in love with Raymond, Brenda, Anthony and other characters in Love Pour Over Me. You might get lost in a very good book.

That alone would be worth reading the nearly 300 page novel that is Love Pour Over Me. Six more reasons to read the Love Pour Over Me book are:

  • Authentic friendships – After he arrives to college in Philadelphia, Raymond runs into four men, each hailing from a different part of America or the world. These men become fast friends, developing a bond that celebrity, money, women nor disappointments or secrets can break.
  • Inspiration – Whether you’re reading about Raymond’s childhood and watching a young Raymond interact with his troubled father, Malcolm, or you’re watching Raymond desperately try to keep his heart from Brenda, you may be inspired as you turn the pages of Love Pour Over Me.
  • Passions on display – Short term relationships aren’t the only starring connects in Love Pour Over Me. Raymond and Brenda’s tested romance also isn’t the only “true gem” relationship that survives this book’s shaking challenges.
  • Remarkable success – Raymond is one of America’s top middle distance runners. His is a near matchless athletic talent. But, Raymond’s not alone when it comes to uncommon athletic prowess. Anthony more than holds his own on the football field.
  • Murder mystery – He never asked for it. And yet, Raymond becomes witness to a murder. He also never asked to be closely connected to someone who may have committed the killing.
  • Changed lives – If our lives don’t change, what’s the purpose of contrast? You’ll be surprised at the Raymond who you see at the end of Love Pour Over Me. You might also finally learn to love Raymond’s father, Malcolm.

Give yourself a chance to explore, enjoy and benefit from reading the Love Pour Over Me book

Love Pour Over Me is a novel that recounts Raymond Clarke’s life events. Set in Dayton, Ohio and later Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, a portion of Love Pour Over Me takes place in Africa, namely Madagascar. The 1980s is the time period that the story unfolds in. Think the Los Angeles Lakers, smooth R&B cuts, a non-Internet world (can you imagine?!), closer knit neighborhoods, thriving community bookstores, gas prices being at about $1 a gallon, music videos airing all day and the rise of cable television.

You may have been a young adult, teen, child or not yet born then. As you read Love Pour Over Me, you’ll get to explore a time that saw many inventions and challenges. Most of all, you’ll get to witness the evolution of a man. You’ll get the chance to witness the evolution of a family, five friends and a soul mate couple who, despite their hard setbacks, simply belong together (You’ll know this for certain by the time you reach the last page of the Love Pour Over Me book!) As tough as it was to write at times, I loved creating the book that is Love Pour Over Me. Now I want you to enjoy reading it.

Ready to enjoy a good book? Pick up your copy of Love Pour Over Me in print or ebook form at Amazon.com by clicking – Read Love Pour Over Me