Finish strong as a new year gets closer, and you could reap more than fantasy success. You could pull in more than a harvest of hope and great expectations. If you’re serious about advancing in 2020, why not finish 2019 strong? Below are reasons not to take your foot off the accelerator just because 2019 is winding down. After all, the way that you finish 2019 may have more impact on how your 2020 goes than you’d imagine.
Finish Strong in 2019
Sure, it’s tempting to trick yourself into thinking that it’s too late to get real results in 2019. Makes sense. The year really is almost over. But you could use the next several weeks to finalize plans for a new book, business venture, relationship change, home renovation, financial shift, childcare options, healthy lifestyle, marketing strategy and more.
As it regards marketing, you could try a new audio, visual or print content marketing strategy, the type of content marketing strategy that could grow your sales throughout 2020. Looking for growth ideas? Check out these 2019 year-end marketing actions that you could take to yield good results in new year:
Identify three to five experienced freelance
writers who you will assign 2020 content marketing responsibilities to
Connect with these freelance writers before 2019
closes out
Settle on content marketing rates
Build on your pool of copywriters
Incorporate the strength of these copywriters
into your prospecting communications
Contact three dozen (or more) prospects before
December 31, 2019
That’s just one area where you can finish 2019 strong. And you won’t have to work long hours to complete each of the above options. Simply, create a daily schedule.
Easy Ways to Finish 2019 Strong
Add three actions to each week, and you’d complete each action listed above by the end of the year. As an entrepreneur looking to grow her business, you’d be setting yourself up for a good start to 2020. This is for content marketing. But what about a lifestyle change?
For example, what if you want to get your wellness numbers within a healthy range? Consider not eating and drinking whatever you want over the next several weeks. Instead, start to change your beliefs around food, comfort, excitement and energy.
In fact,
with holiday food temptations, now may be one of the best times to start
creating deep healthy lifestyle roots. Doable ways to finish 2019 strong as it
regards healthy eating, exercise, rest and healthy relationships (a huge part
of any healthy lifestyle) include:
Eliminate poor relationship habits like gossiping, back biting and manipulation. If you start or engage in gossip, back biting and manipulation, stop. If you’re a listener, let folks know that you’re no longer participating in these unhealthy habits.
Drink plenty of fresh water every day. This one should be easy.
Avoid talking yourself out of doing what’s good or better for you.
Chart Your Own Course
Chart your own path as the year progresses. Keep at it in the new year. Check out these simple ways to create finish the year strong, creating a path for a rewarding new year:
Exercise daily
Get your BMI, blood sugar, blood pressure and cholesterol levels tested
Take one unhealthy food or beverage out of your diet
Replace an unhealthy food or beverage with a healthy food or beverage item (e.g., fresh, leafy spinach, broccoli)
Step away from your desk at least three times a day. For example, you could step away from your desk after breakfast, for lunch and an hour before you head home.
Park several yards from stores and offices when you know you’ll exit the buildings while it’s still daylight.
Walk stairs that are in safe locations at least once a day instead of taking an elevator
Lift weights three days a week. You could start by lifting dumb bells for the remainder of 2019.
Stretch at morning and at night before retiring to bed. Strengthen your balance and flexibility.
Also, finish 2019 strong by getting sufficient sleep. You could do this by turning off your TV before you go to bed. If you’re in the habit of sleeping with the TV on, consider turning your TV off the first time you wake in the middle of the night.
Prepare for a Happy New Year
Even more, you could use a lava lamp or other meditation tool to relax an hour before you head for bed. Other ways to unwind before bed include writing in a journal, counting blessings or reading a book while you relax on the sofa.
Key is to
break actions into doable steps. Another key, is to get started now. Don’t let
the word “now” scare you. After all, you could always just let 2019
wind down, shift into the gear of pulling back and cross your fingers and hope for
magic to occur in 2020.
Then again, if improvements don’t just happen out-of-the-blue, it may be best to finish 2019 strong. Start the actions that will help to set you up for a winning 2020.
There may be no journey as hard or as rewarding as the inner journey. Unexpected experiences, outright shocks, long awaited successes, heartbreaks and joyous, peaceful events that can stretch into weeks, sometimes years, are part of the inner journey. If you’re up for it, you could be in for the ride of your life.
What If Hope Doesn’t Know The Way
Play it safe (stay where you) and you may find yourself in need of help, particularly as it regards mental health than if you had stirred your courage, gotten started and stepped right into change. Whatever your prior decisions, if you want your life to improve, don’t keep doing what you know isn’t best for you.
Don’t just hope that an old situation will get better with time. After all, instead of enduring defeat, you could seek help. This article shares three ways to receive help for the inner journey.
To begin, practice mental health awareness to avoid getting stuck, burned out or anxious. Mental awareness could help you to get and stay mentally sharp. No need adding more struggle to your journey.
Stay Mentally Sharp on the Inner Journey
Fortunately, achieving mental sharpness may not be hard, especially if you are committed to your journey for the long term. If you’re looking for ways to get or stay mentally sharp, here are a few suggestions:
Add at least three activities that you enjoy into your day (e.g., a hot, scented bubble bath, listening to your favorite music, reading a good book)
Get enough deep sleep
Meditate or still your mind
Pray and trust the Creator
Pay attention to your dreams and other forms of inner communication
Treat your body to a healthy diet (e.g., fresh vegetables, delicious fruit bursting with flavor)
Daily exercise (get your body moving)
Write down your dreams (Don’t get too surprised if you start spotting dream themes or recurring symbols that your subconscious pushes up to your conscious in your dreams.)
Different Kind of Travel Map
Next, take
inspired action. This means that you’re not just throwing paint against the
wall, hoping that it lands in the right spots. Also, don’t worry too much about
getting it right. You’re going to make mistakes.
Yet, don’t accept mistakes as habits. Steer clear of convincing yourself that taking the wrong action is “okay” just because everyone makes mistakes. Examples of inspired action include:
Signing up for a free training
Joining and actively participating in a support group (e.g., mental health support group, startup founders support and networking group)
Attending a specific event
Contacting a certain person who can aid your progress
Waking in the morning when your brain is most alert, allowing ideas and answers to bubble up
You’ll know in your gut when the inner voice of wisdom is prompting you to take action. That inner voice of wisdom is your real voice. Even in this world, you can listen to it.
Seek Help from Someone Else
Should you feel stuck or confused (circling the mountain because you don’t know what to do), seek help. Avoid limiting “help” to mental health therapy with a licensed psychologist.
After all, bonding with friends, truly listening to the people who you partner with, and working with someone who has been stuck before (and who found her way forward) are other ways to seek help. Key is to seek input from someone who can offer you a new perspective, someone who can speak with conviction.
As an example, you could seek the support of a life coach who has deep experience in your field. A coach could help you to see your blind spots. Just be open to listening.
Above all, keep going. Your beautiful life won’t unfold with the snap of a finger. But it will unfold if you listen to your inner wisdom, practice mental awareness, stay mentally sharp and, if when you get stuck or confused, you seek help for the inner journey.
Making the Inner Journey Easier
As a final thought, when it comes to covering inner ground, consider external travel. Think about it.
New York to Kenya may be a long way to travel, especially if you go by boat. Oahu to Tuscany isn’t better. Yet, technology has helped to make it easy to see the path that you must take to get from one of those travel destinations to another. Do your homework, and you can even know what to expect when you arrive.
There are plenty of travel websites and travel packages you could use. Talk about taking the fear out of making a decision about a new journey. Technology has taken a lot of unknown out of world travel. Mental awareness and the right support can do the same for the inner journey.
Although your life’s detailed plans aren’t uploaded on a travel website, you aren’t absent help. In fact, the more you listen to the inner voice of wisdom, the better. Listen to the inner voice of wisdom and you could avoid mental health roadblocks.
That alone could keep you fueled with enough motivation to keep going, and you need to keep going. After all, how else will you know what this phase of your never-ending journey will look like? Even more, how else will you come to know what you really are?
Winning podcasts are fun, educational and controversial. They are also growing. Featured show topics range from books, sports to politics, science, education, family and entertainment. Although they are taking off, managing a successful podcast takes planning, smart execution and targeted marketing. We’ve compiled seven must haves that can take your podcasts from average to winning. The first must have starts with your passion.
Podcasts and Passion – A Perfect Marriage
Dolly Parton, Jillian Michaels, Dr. Drew and Shaq are among the celebrities who have a podcast. Millions of people have seen these celebrities’ work. Yet, Dolly Parton, Jillian Michaels, Dr. Drew and Shaq don’t podcast about topics they know little about. Instead, they focus on their passions.
So, what are you passionate about? I love books and story. Therefore, it’s no surprise that my podcast features author interviews, book conferences, screenplay writers, poets, literary agents, editors and book publishers. See how I marry podcasts and passion by catching Off The Shelf Books Talk Radio.
Choosing a podcast that links to your passion is a huge time saver. You’ll know which guests to schedule, where to narrow your podcasts marketing and the types of questions to dig into during each episode. Even more, you could be viewed as an “expert” in your passion field, especially if your podcast takes off. Next, you’ll want to choose a quality podcast hosting platform.
Podcasts Hosting Companies That Score Big
Blubrry, Buzzsprout, PodBean, Castos, Simplecast and Audioboom are among the top podcasts hosting companies. Points to pay attention to when selecting a hosting company include monthly storage limits, pricing, advertising, community and marketing tools that each company offers.
For example,
SoundCloud’s monthly storage limits start at 3 hours and goes up to unlimited.
Pricing is comparable to the podcast’s storage needs. Require more storage,
prepare to pay a higher monthly hosting service fee.
Additionally, some hosting companies share ad revenue with their podcasters. Blog Talk Radio does this. But Blog Talk Radio has a telephone dial in feature that some podcasters and listeners aren’t crazy about. Which brings up the third winning podcast “must have”.
Connection Options
Returning to Blog Talk Radio, there is an option to listen to their radio podcasts thru a chat room. Skype is another way to catch a Blog Talk Radio Show (more about Skype later in this article). iTunes, a Bluetooth connection, the Alexa app, Skype and Zoom are tools to record and/or listen to podcasts on.
Each comes with pros and cons. For this reason, when choosing a podcast hosting company and a tool to record podcast episodes, pay attention to sound quality. If you want to experience a visual connection with your podcast’s guests, consider Zoom.
Depending on your recording experience, you could use your smartphone to record podcast episodes. Before you choose this option, check your phone’s sound quality. Also, ensure that sound doesn’t breakup or go in and out.
Make It Easy for Listeners to Love Your Winning Podcasts
For starters, great sound quality is a way to make it easy for listeners to love your podcast. Additionally, host and guest’s preparation, choice of questions and consistency are the next winning podcast must haves that can set your show apart.
Do yourself a favor and choose engaging guests. People in your passion field who have knocked out online radio interviews before can help turn an episode into a slam dunk. But even if you go with inexperienced or shy guests, your show can leave a good impression on its listeners.
To achieve this, research guests a week or more prior to their interview. Also, ask questions that require wordy answers. For example, questions like “Do you like to read family sagas?” “Is hockey your favorite sport?” and “Were you a history major?” make it easy for guests to give one-word answers.
This isn’t what you want. Therefore, “Do you like to read family sagas?” could become “How did you develop Tammy Tilson, the family matriarch, in Spiral?”
Turn Podcasts Guests into Fans
Following up on this, develop enough questions to keep the show flowing. On Off The Shelf Books Talk Radio, I create at least 30 questions for each guest. Often, I don’t get to each question. But having 30 questions to ask each guest keeps the show from experiencing lulls.
It also helps guests to relax and enjoy the show as it unfolds. To keep listeners coming back, be consistent. For example, you could schedule a podcast episode for each Saturday morning. Just pick the same time (e.g., 11am/EST) to air your podcast.
Consistency cannot be over stressed. Be there when your guests and listeners are. Last, market your podcast.
Spread the Word About Your Winning Podcasts
Social media, press releases and offline radio, television and print interviews are a few places where you can market and advertise your podcast. If you have a YouTube channel, consider marketing your podcast there too.
In addition, you could market your podcast at your blog, at podcasts directories and by leaving bookmarks, postcards and flyers at places that your target audience frequents. Also, ask your guests to tell their supporters about your podcast and their feature interview.
Content marketing platforms like Taboola, Outbrain, StoryChief and Newscred are other places where you could market your podcast. As with other marketing platforms, pay attention to pricing and service range and depth.
In closing, podcasts popularity is backed by strong numbers. According to Music MPH, 150 million people in the United States have tuned into a podcast. About 150 million Americans listen to a podcast at least once a month. Nearly 103 million people tune into a podcast each week. Listener range crosses at least 100 languages, making podcasting an effective marketing tool.
Always choose love because, in reality, what else is there? Love is the gateway to peace. It is powerful, all-encompassing and eternal. Destinies, miracles and life itself owe all they are to love. So why the pull toward fear, worry, violence and trauma?
Are we that out of touch with our core? Has love, to us, become the greatest mystery?
Oh, the wonder of love and yet it’s never what you expect. You definitely don’t expect love to be elusive, and yet that is often how love seems. In fact, the harder you pursue love, the further away it seems to move.
What if Love is a Choice
And it’s this elusiveness that brings up a not-to-be-ignored point. Love is a choice, not an emotion or object that you can hold or take ownership of. Therefore, to find love, always choose love. Sound simple?
On a clear day, times absent struggle, disappointment or pain, it is simple. Let someone lie on you, betray you, bully you or abandon you and the simplicity of choosing love flees. During these complicated emotionally charged experiences, there’s so much to gain . . . and lose.
It all comes down to the choices you make. Choices because it might take a series of choices to get from hurt, anger or fear to love. But how do you know you don’t always choose love? How do you know you’re asking for an unloving experience?
About the Love Guarantee
Although you don’t have to be convinced that love is worth always choosing, you may be eager for confirmation that your pursuit of love will not fail. Childhood abandonment, relationship conflicts, not to mention communication struggles at work, can shy you away from love. Should this happen, you may demand a guarantee that love will work.
After all, who wants to look or feel foolish? But it’s impossible to get a guarantee that the best thing is to always choose love. If you still need a guarantee, you could peek in on other people’s relationships, witnessing how it plays out when they choose love or fear.
Signs You Don’t Always Choose Love
However, that probably wouldn’t convince you that it’s best to always choose love. On the contrary, that’s their relationships, not yours. Or you could suffer through life, afraid of what might happen if you choose love. And suffer you might eventually do, in a habit kind-of-way. Best to catch yourself, spot what you’re doing, early. Do any of these signs that you’re not choosing love resonate?
Making excuses not to connect with other people
Replaying former relationship conflicts until the memory thread starts wearing thin
Working harder to protect yourself from sad romantic endings than you do at opening up to healthy relationships
Boxing love in small or narrow perceptional passageways
Feeling anger or fear when you let someone get emotionally close to you
That or you could spend years, which is a long time, trying to define love, not actually experience love but define it. Truth is, because love encompasses all that is real, it may be impossible to define love.
3 Reasons To Always Choose Love
Fact is love doesn’t always come with flowers, compliments, warm emotions, excitement or romance. Yet, rewards you gain when you always choose love are immeasurable, as these three reasons show:
Joy, peace and love cannot be separated. Choose love
and you gain joy. Even more, you gain peace. Additional benefits include trust,
strong faith that love works, sharper inner vision, a clear conscience and
confidence.
Ease at forgiving is another reason to always choose
love. After you experience the results of love, you may never want to be
blocked again. Lack of forgiveness blocks the experience of love.
Third, choosing love allows you to let life unfold
unhindered, naturally. Additionally, you may feel more energized, balanced and
supported. Also, you might expect good things to happen to you simply because
you believe that, as someone who always chooses love, you deserve good.
The good news is that love encompasses all. Plainly, inside love is love for the Creator, love for Self and love for all of creation. Practice love and you sleep good at night. You gain experiences (also known as “proof”) that love works, even in this world – love works.
Choosing Love Changes Everything
By always choosing love, you can see how time or space cannot stop love. This doesn’t mean that everyone believes in love, let alone chooses love. Past experiences cause many people to fear love, to believe that love caused the pain in their relationships.
In fact, some people make themselves hard to love. It can take years to see that this is a call for help. In fact, Raymond Clarke starts learning to cry out for love early. He learns this lesson through his father, the one parent who stayed back to care for him when he was only two years old.
Raymond’s father is bitter, hard, abusive. His words cut. They’re sharp, spoken to do damage and they don’t fail. But Raymond has a gift. He has a gift that opens doors for him. He also has a decision to make. He too, like you – like all of us – has to decide whether he will always choose love.
You can read more about Raymond in Love Pour Over Me.
Connecting writers and book readers is truly an art. After years of writing, publishing, marketing and selling books, I have learned effective strategies to increase book sales. I am going to share several of these winning book marketing strategies with you in this Chistell.com blog post.
These strategies don’t involve spending more ad money. Even more, these
book marketing tips aren’t about living on the road with boxes of books stuffed
in your car trunk.
Smart Connections with Book Lovers Isn’t Pricey
Howbeit, attending book festivals and the right literary events helps when it comes to connecting with book readers. (Keep reading to find out how attending large scale book events makes its way onto the 10 best ways that writers and book readers make smart connections.)
Several of the strategies won’t cost you a dime. Also, depending on your existing support system, you might not have to implement all of the strategies to start seeing an increase in sales. However, what you will have to do is to be serious, and I do mean serious, about staying with the book marketing process long term.
Additionally, you will have to engage in at least two of these 10 actions. Let’s begin.
First of the 10 Best Ways Writers and Book Readers Make Smart Connections
This first strategy will get you out of the house. Added to selling books is the rewarding chance to network and meet authors, the very people who can tell you about more effective ways to increase book sales.
Attend book festivals, large scale events. But don’t just go to any book event. Research festivals, conferences and book fairs. Find out how many attendees are expected at the events. If these numbers aren’t posted at the event website, email the event organizers and ask them to share this information.
After all, the last thing you want to do is to pay a registration fee for an author’s table at book festivals that only attract 20 readers. Also, check event websites (or contact the event organizer) to see if you can participate in radio, television and online promotions organizers run.
Organizers offer these services at competitive prices to help cover the cost of running book fairs. Before you sign up for the fairs, make sure the registration fee is competitive enough to allow you to generate a profit. Book fairs that attract 10,000 or more book buyers could make it easy to sell 60 or more books. If you’re out-of-pocket costs is $250 or less, you could easily earn a profit.
More Ways Writers and Book Readers Connect
Start your own book festival. Consider requiring attendees to register for the event in advance. This way, you will know how many people are planning to attend. Use this data in press releases, announcements, social media posts, flyers, direct mail and on postcards.
But don’t go it alone. Network with other writers who run book festivals. You might be surprised how many writers organize events. Connect with these authors and get tips on ways to gain sponsors and local media coverage.
Apply for awards. I’m seeing more book awards shows. These awards shows are similar to popular music and film awards shows. Similarly, book awards shows can bring you lots of exposure and help you make smart connections.
Engaging Book Clubs and More
As a fourth tip, reach out to book clubs. Choose book clubs that read the types of books you write. Please pay attention to that. Don’t try to force a connection. Make it easy on yourself and reach out to book clubs that align with books you write.
In other words, you won’t have to convince these book club members to want to read your books. All you should have to do is introduce your books to the club members.
Here are six more ways that writers and book readers make smart connections:
Create and send colorful, attention-grabbing postcards to local media, book club presidents and book bloggers.
Follow these postcards up with direct email
A week later send recipients a snail mail
Post flyers about your book on college campuses, local libraries, etc. Request approval from administrators before hanging the flyers
Inside direct mail, include short overviews of your books, your bio and the benefits that the organizations and their readers or listeners can gain from reading your books.
Shorten the time it takes to generate direct email messages by signing up with email marketing platforms (e.g., Constant Contact, MailChimp)
Final Four Ways to Connect with Avid Readers
Throughout the year, schedule radio interviews. Thanks to online radio stations and podcasts, this should be easy. As a tip, you can find radio stations and podcasts to interview on by following media influencers on LinkedIn, Twitter and other social media platforms.
Focus on being on the radio or on a podcast at least once a week. You could even start your own podcast like I did. Check out Off The Shelf Books Talk Radio. In fact, depending on the types of books you write, you could gain a feature Off The Shelf Books Talk Radio interview. Listen to the show. See if there’s a fit.
If there is a fit, contact me through the show.
To connect with readers and gain more book sales, also attend networking events. Stay local and you could reduce your out-of-pocket traveling expenses.
These networking events are different from book festivals. Examples include chamber of commerce awards luncheons, arts workshops, professional meetups and business startup discussions.
Exchange business cards with people who attend these networking events. Who knows, some attendees might help you get into large corporations they work at, which leads to the next tip to get more book sales. Depending on your book’s topic, you could speak at large corporations, sharing insights and research findings with corporate employee networks, etc. Should this happen, conduct book signings at the end of these speaking engagements.
You Can Get More Book Sales
Run a writing contest. You could also run a Q&A contest that
focuses on one of your books. As a prize, you could give winners a collection
of your books and/or a bookstore gift card.
Additionally, blog about your books. This isn’t a one and done. Be dedicated. This means, that you’ll publish a new blog post at least once a week, once a month at the absolute minimum. Write naturally and use a SEO plug-in to improve search engine rankings.
Furthermore, consider using tools like Google Analytics to track the effectiveness of your blog posts. In relation to this, regularly update your website content, including website meta tags.
Also, reach out to other bloggers. Make sure they blog about the types of books you write. Ask to be interviewed or featured at these book blogs.
Tips to Get More Book Buyer Connections
Just for fun, here are even more ways writers and book readers start smart connections. Set up automatic social media posts. I’ve actually met media professionals this way and gotten published in major newspapers and magazines.
But don’t just publish auto messages to social media platforms. Actually, log into social media platforms and ask questions, post motivational quotes and info about your books. Also, respond to messages that other posters share. Please don’t just take or only advertise your books. After all, you’re trying to make smart connections.
To grow your readership, write and publish new books. As simple as it may sound, this is one of the best ways that I have found to increase book sales. However, make sure that you write your best book. Great books can create surprising word-of-mouth sales.
Let’s Talk Amazon and Barnes & Noble Book Retailers
Update your Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble book descriptions. Over the course of a year, I might revise my book descriptions three to four times. Add keywords that readers use to search for the types of books you write. Also, link your book blog to your Amazon Author Central page. You could also run book Amazon ads. If you do, track the results and make changes as needed. Start small and update keywords that you use in the ads. Keep tracking results.
Additionally, create profiles at popular book websites like Good Reads, CushCity and iTunes. Familiarize yourself with book distributions (e.g., Ingram, Baker & Taylor) and see if they are running book promotions you can participate in.
There are lots of actions you can take to increase your book sales. But these book marketing strategies have actually worked for me, which is why I am sharing them with you. These aren’t strategies that I just read about. These are book marketing strategies I have tried and gained results from.
One final note, the path to more book sales sounds simple. Just start selling more books by making smart reader connections. Yet, as simple as it sounds, it can take months to find and connect with your book’s perfect readers. The above book marketing tips shared in this post can save you years of trial and error.
People always remember three things about you. Your smile can’t hide whether you’re offering these gifts or not. Warm embraces, laughter and compliments won’t work either. Despite effort to hide, people know if these blessings are being offered.
Emotions play a big role in all three.
Yet, fact is, as powerful as emotions are, they cannot always be trusted. That doesn’t mean they don’t carry substantial weight. In this aspect, emotions are like memories. They come. They go, and change, as if mere illusions. Yet, people never forget what they feel strongly.
Things About You People Always Remember
Maya Angelou expressed it well when she said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.” How true.
A kind word falls flat for the listener who does not feel appreciated. However,
a vigorous smile embodying the belief “You can do it”, a genuine
gesture that cuts across generations, culture and language, can stay with a
person forever, empowering her to seek another solution when she feels
depleted.
Frankly, this is when emotions are truly powerful. They add a layer of ingenuity to words, actions. They create reliable memories, recollections that stir us even in old age. Consider it. Rare is the depth and longevity of the impact of how one person makes another feel. It is why the way people make you feel is one of the three things that people always remember.
Emotions Unbreakable Cord
In fact, children and elders approach or step back, creating a distance that mirrors the emotional tie someone has had on them, each time they happen upon that person — all potentially rooted in a single emotional experience. Humans witness this dynamic unfolding while eating, playing, laboring or resting. It is like a wheel that never stops spinning, never stops turning.
All interactions considered, the relationships that parents have with their children may be the deepest, most pivotal and empowering. Ask the mother of a 60-year-old to describe her child. Let that mother and child share a warm, loving relationship and the mother’s eyes might brighten as she starts to talk about her child, an act that may go on for more than an hour.
On the other hand, regardless of the goodness in a parent and child’s relationship, a child will remember his parent. These memories may cut, digging up deep wounds, or the memories may soothe and protect, springing forth with reassurance and trust. What these memories won’t do is go away.
Where Roots Are Placed
Distance and absence cannot severe the cord between a parent and a child. In fact, years may have passed since the two saw each other or spoke. But that bond is yet there, making a child or a parent the second of the three things that people always remember.
Home is the place where deep feelings and lasting memories take root. A home may be mobile or stationary. Design, structure and furnishings may run the gamut. And that’s okay. Because it’s not design or style that give a home impact. Yet, those too will be remembered.
It’s what regularly happens in a space that lends that place a sense of
home. Fill a home with trust, assurance, laughter and care and life changing
experiences could blossom, none to be forgotten.
In fact, home (the third thing that people always remember) is a blend
of rich emotions between parent and child. In addition, home is bedrock as it
relates to how people make us feel. Mulukan discovers this early. She is a mere
six years old when she is uprooted from the only people, the only place, she
has ever known. Her journey is hard, unforgiving.
And yet, she survives. After all, Mulukan (like you, like me) is blessed with the three things that people always remember. It’s what she does with those three things that makes the difference in her life. Treat yourself to Mulukan’s story. Then, consider what use you are making of the three things that people always remember. Are you using those three things to harm yourself, to set yourself back, to keep yourself stuck or to strengthen yourself and, like Mulukan, blossom, thrive and advance.
Everything here changes. With those shifts come blessings. Change is a part of creativity. Without change, there is no manifestation or creative reward. Consider the challenging experiences that you have been in. Just recalling how those unfortunate instances changed and either got better or went away could birth tremendous appreciation in you.
Change is not a sign that we are not in control of our lives, that we have no input or influence over what we experience. Even with change, we get to pick how we perceive a person, an experience, an emotion — a thought. The key is to remember that all living beings are sending out requests. Every living being is part of the creative process.
Free Flowing
Creativity is at its best when it flows naturally, absent fear. Simply put, fear is a blocker. It’s like a linebacker who won’t let a running back get by. Even more, fear causes us to feel like we need to hold on to an emotion, an experience, a person, an event.
It’s why we grab the rails of a car, the door rest, etc. when we aren’t sure what’s coming next. Experience something over and over, regardless of how startling, and you may not brace yourself for the event anymore. You may simply expect it and respond to the event unconsciously. That can happen with love-based and fear-based events.
Developed Patterns
Furthermore, this is where growing accustomed to fear and disallowing good change can impede the creative process. The Tilson family is a great example of this. Their story is told in the book, Spiral. Fear for this family starts as it does with many families. It’s rooted in fearing that others don’t value you. The road to fear can be quick and easy.
The path out is not always as quick or as easy, which is why it’s best not to start down that road at all. If you want to see what happens to the Tilson family and how they get out of the dark, letting love-based change influence their lives, consider reading Spiral.
Ability to talk to the dead is available to anyone. In fact, it might be impossible to avoid hearing from a loved one who is no longer in a body if you had an especially close connection with that person. But how do you communicate with the deceased? Is there anything special that you have to do?
Let me start this blog post by sharing that I do not believe in death. To me, death is an illusion. But something clearly happens when we exit our bodies. That change seems to make it impossible to reach across the aisle and connect.
Expanding Communication Pathways
Centuries
ago, we thought that about space and distance. If someone traveled to another
continent, it was as if they were “gone”. Think about it, the
telegraph was invented by Samuel Morse in 1837. Additionally, mail systems may
have started during the Zia or Shang dynasties, as far back as 2070 BC.
Before then, when someone moved to another country, or worse, another continent, it was as if they had disappeared forever. After all, there seemed to be no other way to communicate with the person who was “out of sight” and space, far far away.
Today, technology has erased those impossibilities. But could we have found ways to communicate with those who seemed so far away (and still in their bodies) prior to the launch of the telegraph, mail systems, the Internet, face time and instant messaging?
And could it be possible to talk to the dead in ways that many are not aware of? As with the invention of advanced technological communication tools, those communication pathways may be most open if you live with an open, flexible mind.
Is a Departed Loved One Communicating
Now, to the signs that a “dead” person is trying to communicate with you. For starters, electrical appliances might go nuts, blinking or blaring if a departed loved one communicates with you. Lights might turn off and on. Familiar scents that are associated with the loved one who is no longer in their body might fill a room.
Also, people who don’t know the deceased might say the person’s name. For example, while I was on a train heading home from work, a group of kids outside a hospital shouted my departed son’s name over and over, about 12 to 15 times. It was as if the kids were making a song of his name, not as if they were calling out to a friend.
Even more, a stranger might tell you something that is directly related to your loved one who is no longer in their body, something that the stranger clearly does not know. For example, when I was preparing to move to a new city, I spoke with a representative at a moving company.
Coming Through an Open Pathway
The very first time that I spoke with someone at the moving company, the representative who answered the phone asked, “Is this the Denise who recently lost her brother or dog?” It was an out-of-the-blue question, totally unrelated to the move.
I had never spoken with the representative before, didn’t know the guy at all. I had never told anyone at the company that my son had transitioned. A moment later after I didn’t respond, the guy said, “Guess I had the wrong Denise.”
Dreams are open pathways through which you can communicate with a departed loved one, so pay attention to your dreams. But as with any circumstance, don’t become obsessed. Your life here matters, and it’s important that you live it fully. Strong emotion while in a certain location, intuitive direction and inner guidance are other ways to communicate.
How to Talk to the Dead
As with any other inner communication, you may have to take action to receive the full communication. For example, you might receive a message to go get your loved one’s picture. After you get the picture, your loved one might tell you that she’s right there next to you.
Also, you might be asked to turn on a certain television show. After you turn on the television show, you hear someone on the show ask, “If your loved one spoke with you, what would he tell you right now?” Another person on the television show might respond, “He would tell me that he’s still here, with me right now.”
The good news is that it is not necessary to pay a medium to talk to the dead. In fact, the best mediums will encourage you to communicate with your loved one on your own. Keeping an open mind may be the best way to talk to the dead.
This cannot be overstated. If you are dealing with grief, a process that could continue for the remainder of your physical expression, you may keep the lines of communication between you and your departed loved one going by writing or typing letters to your loved one.
Dealing With Grief
Despite your
doubts, you might be surprised how healing writing your loved one letters can
be. Another thing that might help you, is accepting communication signs from
the dead without criticism or judgment.
As you continue your journey, love yourself. Be patient with yourself. Be very, very patient with yourself. Also, allow yourself to experience peace and joy. Let yourself feel the emotion of happiness.
As someone who has had both of her parents to transition, all of her grandparents and my son transition – I know that the first days, weeks and months after a loved one departs their body can be near impossible to get through.
Shock, sorrow, guilt, regret and intense sadness can feel overwhelming. The first few days, it may be hard if not impossible to relax, let alone sleep at night. That could go on for weeks. You might start crying, like I did, while shopping for shoes, buying groceries or driving your car.
These people might lash out should you continue to grieve longer than they think you should. Some people might ask you to stop talking about your loved one, forcing you to not even speak the person’s name. My guess is that speaking a “dead” person’s name makes some people uncomfortable. Their demanding that you not mention the person could be a form of control, an unhealthy strategy they use to avoid feeling strong emotions.
Regardless
of what others say or do, love yourself. Do what is best and most loving for
you. This includes accepting communications that your departed loved one has
with you.
Also, commit to moving forward. Remember that you are not ending communications with your loved one who is no longer in a body, especially if you talk to the “dead”. You are simply moving through the shift so that you can continue your physical expression in healthy ways knowing that one day, you too, will become one of those “dead people”.
Use Arts to Talk to the Dead
Are you a
painter? Are you a writer? Do you love to sing? How about crafts? Do you love
to knit, sew or crochet?
As you
continue your journey, consider painting to express emotions that you are
experiencing. You could also write songs about your departed loved one. A few
months after my son transitioned, I started writing on a novel, a super hero
story, with my son as the main character.
Writing on
that story, is tremendously healing for me. Regarding self discovery, you might
find that incorporating memories of your loved one in your creative arts could
prove healing and transforming.
Love Yourself
Some artists
paint amazing portraits of their loved ones. Singers have written, sang and
produced songs in honor of a departed loved one. There are many ways to marry
memory, love and art. Even more, don’t be surprised if your loved one starts to
guide these creative works.
As a final word, in addition to being patient with yourself as you go through this journey, love yourself. And I do mean, love yourself. Really really love yourself.
This
includes, seeking professional help should you feel stuck or drifting toward
self harm. Suicide isn’t the only form of self harm. Over eating, drinking too
much alcohol and abusing yourself with drugs, including prescription drugs, are
other forms of self harm.
Accept Support
Talk with a friend you know you can trust. Join an online and/or offline support group. I am a member of an online support group for grieving mothers. Hearing other mothers share their stories is beyond helpful, beyond strengthening and supportive.
Give this love to yourself. Just give yourself love. Give love. Receive love. And stay open to those loving communications that come from your departed loved ones.
Spiral is a book that deals with receiving communication from the dead. It is a fictional mystery that needs someone (not a professional medium) who can talk to the dead to solve a crime. It is my hope that Spiral will help you as you work through dealing with a loved one’s transition, especially if the transition was traumatic.
More importantly, I hope that Spiral will stir your courage, inspiring you to take the right action to protect anyone who is being traumatized, forced into departing their body. Spiral and resources shared in this article might help you to overcome fear and continue your journey in healthy ways. You also might accept communication that you receive from an eternal loved one who is no longer in a body. I wish you well.
Give yourself a chance to win if you want to fulfill your purpose. To start, let yourself nurture desires that come from your true Self. Signs that you’re giving yourself permission to get what you truly want include a clearer vision of what you want and expanding appreciation. Additionally, you’ll feel a sense of “Thank You” more frequently and perhaps even more intensely.
Get Clear Vision to Give Yourself a Chance to Win
To reach appreciation, you might have to forgive. Forgiveness may be required, because you might be holding errors that you committed against yourself. You might be holding yourself hostage, away from peace, joy and new levels of success, until you pay for past mistakes.
Do this and
you might force yourself to live in isolation, enter destructive relationships
or develop physical illnesses. You also might trip yourself up each time you
start to succeed. For example, you might willfully break a law, company policy or
argue until you push people to be against you.
Practice awareness and catch yourself if you try to sabotage your success. Keep in mind, sharpening self-awareness is one consistent action that you can take to get clear vision. Here are more actions that you could take to get clear vision and give yourself the chance to win.
Daily Inner Vision Sharpeners
Write in a
journal. Writing in a journal is effective at releasing thoughts and emotions. Additionally,
journal writing is also a good way to jog memories that may be sabotaging your
success. When you write in a journal, you might also make room for new
insights, subconscious thoughts or formerly hidden guidance to breakthrough.
Sleeping
deeply and sufficiently is another action that can sharpen inner vision, giving
you the chance to win. Prayer, meditation, walking in nature and sitting in a
peaceful area like a back porch are other actions that you could engage in to
sharpen your inner vision.
Keeping a dream journal may also help. Further, you might start to see one or more symbols show up in your dreams hours, days, weeks or months before you experience a major inner or external shift. Pay attention to your dreams. After all, your subconscious mind or your real Self might be trying to get a message through to you.
Follow Right Guidance
There’s a lot of guidance in the world. For instance, you could seek out the guidance of “experts”, people who have spent years doing what you want to start doing or you could listen to naysayers. Look back over your journey and you may find that you’ve listened to all three at different junctures in your physical experience.
What results
did you get when you sought out and followed these people’s guidance? Were the
results as “spot on” and rewarding as the results that you got when
you followed guidance from your real Self?
Here’s a warning as you give yourself a chance to win. As you follow your real Self, you might invoke sharp criticism from people who believe their lives would be better, easier, happier, if you do what they say. In this case, avoiding these criticisms might require you to go against your real Self.
This is when your clear inner vision helps even more. Plainly put, let yourself want what you truly want, practice forgiveness and self-awareness and nothing may stop you from succeeding. This doesn’t mean that criticisms won’t sting. It means that you won’t stop.
Take Action
Giving
yourself a chance to win calls for action. As you advance, don’t be surprised
if necessary actions feel like risks. After all, you’re on a new road. There
will be unexpected experiences. You may not like some of these unexpected
experiences, let alone be able to control or change the events.
For instance, a parent or child may transition (this person’s physical experience may end). As another example, a job may end or change significantly. Even more, you might relocate, start or end a long-term relationship or change a thought pattern that you formerly sought comfort from.
To help yourself, practice patience and keep going. Give yourself time to adjust to changes that enter your life as you start to pursue what your real Self wants.
Follow hunches. Don’t stop yourself by only dreaming about what you want. Go after what your real Self wants. As an example, if a loving relationship is what you want, explore more. Visit places that your inner guidance leads you to.
Keep Going
Work on your communication skills. Also, focus on being flexible, open minded and non-controlling. Spot when you engage in projection as a way to avoid dealing with what you fear. Throughout the entire process, take full accountability and responsibility for your life.
Here’s another example. If you want to operate a successful event planning company, research prospects, discover best places to spread the word about your business and build your team. Also, follow inner guidance and take on small events to learn about decorating, photography, floral designs and meal planning.
Additionally, discover financial investments that you will make to achieve success. Get serious about your success investment. Sharpen your inner vision, consider journaling and dream logging and follow inner guidance. Take smart action. And keep going. After all, it is your life. You really should give yourself a chance to win.
It is my hope that Love Pour Over Me will help you as you work your way to the success you want, especially if you have inner challenges to progress through. Love Pour Over Me tells the fictionalized story of a talented athlete who was abandoned by his mother and left to be raised by an abusive father. Despite the challenges, his ended is marvelous.
Resilience of African American women is helping to shape the future. In fact, faith, personal fortitude, clear inner vision and determination, hallmarks of resilient African American women, is paving the way for approaching success in business, community, science, education, politics, sports and arts.
Hard Roads for Powerful Women
It hasn’t
been easy.
Harriet
Tubman, Shirley Chisholm, Fannie Lou Hamer, Coretta Scott King and Mary McLeod
Bethune have stood resilient in the face of long odds. So too have African
American women like Daisy Bates, Dorothy Height, Ida B Wells, Oprah Winfrey, Serena
Williams, Madam C. J. Walker and Stacey Abrams.
These women embody traits that have made them household names. Furthermore, these African American women have stood up to injustices like sexism, racism and antiquated religious beliefs that demand that women see and place themselves second to men.
Historic Resiliency of African American Women
With a
$40,000 bounty on her head, freedom leader, Harriet Tubman, was fearless in her
efforts to deliver America into a brighter future. She had the insight to know
that would only come through the end of slavery.
About five feet tall, Harriet Tubman led dozens of slaves to freedom, this while facing the challenges of narcolepsy. Path to freedom for Harriet Tubman was often on foot, in treacherous areas, through thick woods, with dogs and bounty hunters chasing.
In addition to freeing slaves, Harriet Tubman served in the Civil War. After the war, she spoke out for racial equity and women’s rights. She was a true, fearless servant.
The courage
that her work demanded is unimaginable, especially coupled with the challenges
of narcolepsy. Yet, this African American woman, who some plantation workers
considered to be handicapped, fulfilled her destiny. In doing so, she blessed
generations.
Sarah
Breedlove, known as Madam C. J. Walker, is another resilient African American
woman who not only faced but overcame long odds. Considered America’s first
self-made woman millionaire, Madam C. J. Walker advocated for anti-lynching,
education and the advancement of African Americans.
Ironically, it wasn’t until after she started losing her own hair that Madam C. J. Walker took a meager $1.25 and started her hair products. Despite the odds, she would go on to overcome poverty, raise her daughter as a single mother and launch a successful hair company.
Walking the Long Road to Success
Roads to
success for these and other resilient African American women was often long and
arduous, demanding resiliency. As an
example, for a time, to fulfill her destiny, Harriet Tubman was parted from her
mother and father. She worked as a dishwasher in Philadelphia before returning
South to free her parents.
Also, similar to Coretta Scott King, Ida B. Wells was the daughter of parents who valued and encouraged education. Born into slavery, Ida B. Wells was born with a long road to travel. As an adult, she attended Rust College. But was expelled from the college after arguing with a school administrator. She traveled across the globe, exposing the absolute ugliness and horrors of lynching. Her work came with danger. But, despite how long the journey, Ida B. Wells did not turn back.
Perhaps, she and other resilient African American women were so moved by a personal experience that they saw no alternative but to do all that they could to set things right. It often takes a personal experience to move us into the right action. It’s as if we simply have to care enough about ourselves and others, wishing harm on no one, to get started. It is also necessary to be open to change.
Recreating Your Life
From Mamie
Elizabeth Till-Mobley (Emmett Till’s mother) to Harriet Tubman to Mary Church
Terrell, African American women have had to choose between forcing themselves
to repeat former days, old ways of thinking and familiar behaviors or stepping
out into what looked like nothing but felt
like the right way to go. It is as if these heroic women followed a sound
inner compass.
For instance, Ida B. Wells had to recreate her life after her parents transitioned from yellow fever. The disease found Ida B. Wells a surrogate mother. She started working as a teacher so that she could care for her brothers and her sister.
After one of
her friends was lynched, Ida B. Wells started to investigate lynching, speaking
out against the inhumane practice. When Ida B. Wells moved from Memphis,
Tennessee to Chicago, Illinois, she continued to speak out for racial justice,
at times, working with Mary Church Terrell.
History continues to show that achieving or fulfilling one’s destiny requires a life change. Those moments are shaking, hard to digest, let alone move away from. During those times, you know with absolute certainty that you cannot go back to the life that you had already developed for yourself over several years, maybe decades. You simply have to let go of the past to continue the long walk up.
When You Know That You Can’t Go Back
Loss of a child, a divorce, becoming a widow and facing a health crisis are experiences that generally do not allow you to return to your former way of perceiving. Becoming an orphan is another life experience that forces you to bid farewell to your former life.
Support systems that you used to rely on, seek comfort and solace from, are gone. Furthermore, these changes can happen instantly, absent notice. In fact, Mulukan had this experience after her mother transitioned. Mulukan was a mere six years old when she was left an orphan, her father having transitioned a few years earlier.
As with
other resilient women, the fictional Mulukan had to make a choice. She could
stay with the people she’d known her entire young life or she could walk away
from all that was familiar to her. The risks were enormous. The same way that
resilient African American woman continue to inspire, Mulukan’s mother inspired
her.
It was through her mother that Mulukan (her fictional life is depicted in the book Long Walk Up) learned to live her best life. It was through her mother that Mulukan learned to never give up on her destiny, to be resilient. This little girl’s courage led her to become Africa’s first woman president. This fictional story of a resilient woman could inspire you to face what has happened in your life, even helping you to decide to make the courageous decision to recreate your life and keep working to fulfill your destiny.
Keep Walking Up
Like Long Walk Up’s Mulukan, resilient African American women impact generations. They are courageous mothers, wives, sisters and friends. Their efforts paved the way for countless others who would come after them. Yet, their labor, their faith in action, only takes real effect when, because of what they did, others start and keep taking the long walk up.
Let Mulukan’s fictional story inspire you. Step into her extreme challenges as an orphan, so that you can possibly start to believe that, despite the odds that you may face, you too can take the long walk up and reach your destiny. Fulfill your destiny and you could leave a legacy of hope, victory, faith and inspiration for future generations. Your work might even change a nation.