Growing Up A Motherless Child

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candle lit for motherless child

By Book Author Denise Turney

Growing up a motherless child leaves a lasting imprint. It doesn’t matter how or why your mother left. Lose your mother and you just lost an entire half of the coupling that helped to bring you into physical being. Even if you are emotionally or psychologically detached, the loss of your mother will leave a lasting and powerful impact on you. How do I know? My mother exited this world before I turned eight years old.

Struggles Motherless Children Face

Abandonment issues are just the start. Should you not receive sufficient nurturing from your father and other women (e.g. aunt, grandmother), you may spend the rest of your physical days seeking approval and validation. Months after your mother exits her body, you might identify someone (an entertainer, athlete, schoolteacher, neighbor, another adult or peer) to transfer your nurturing needs onto.

Signs that you have transferred the need for nurturing from your deceased mother to someone else include thinking that this person has been sent to you from God. Other signs of this transference include idealizing the person, overlooking or mentally erasing the person’s mistakes or wrongs and telling yourself that your life would be perfect or at least much, much better if this person were in it.

Unfortunately, even if this magical person came into your life, you wouldn’t feel whole or complete. You would still be a motherless child. Path away from the pain of being a motherless child could come through detachment.

Moving Away from Motherless Child Pain

If you detach, you may not feel sadness, anger or afraid. Detachment could last a lifetime. For example, you might struggle to feel deep, raw emotion if your father, grandparent, sibling or child exits her or his body. But that doesn’t mean that the pain of being in the world without your mother is gone. All you have done in this case is to push the pain down, to repress the pain.

This type of avoidance will show up in future relationships. You might have a difficult time connecting with lovers or a spouse. Your ability to deeply nurture your own children could also be hampered. Trouble developing deep, authentic friendships is another challenge that you may face as a motherless child who has detached from the pain of losing your mother.

The road to opening your heart may take you down even more painful pathways. These pathways could come in the form of a job layoff, a divorce, a broken friendship or the loss of someone you have developed a strong psychological or emotional attachment to.

Revisiting Your Mother’s Exit

Let this happen and you may have no choice except to revisit the day that your mother exited her body. You might have to work through that early trauma in a way that you never have before. This work might be done in a group setting, individual therapy sessions or during focused, internal work (as a tip, working and talking with others can be tremendously powerful). If you don’t work through the early trauma of losing your mother, you might not move forward when the next unexpected loss occurs.

Some actions that might help you to work through the trauma of being a motherless child include writing a list of the top 10 things that you love about your mother, slowly looking at pictures of your mother, listing five ways your mother made you laugh and re-reading letters that your mother wrote.

If your mother kept a journal, it may also prove therapeutic to read her journal. Talking with family members about your mother, asking relatives questions about your mother and writing a letter to your mother may also prove beneficial.

Road Toward Healing as a Motherless Child Could Take a Lifetime to Complete

Take your time. Complete one activity at a time. See if you don’t start to feel more connected to your mother. Go slowly. If it feels traumatic when you look at your mother’s picture, do a few other activities around your mother before you start putting pictures of her up around your house. The same applies for young children.

Be patient with yourself and others. Take your time. Everyone processes loss differently and at a different pace.

At the least, don’t expect to return to the way that you felt before your mother exited her body. Be kind to yourself. You experienced a major life change. It is going to do just that — change you. What it can’t take away is your ability to love yourself, love your mother, love your surviving father and love others. It’s these truths that Raymond Clarke learns in the book, Love Pour Over Me.

Great Mother’s Day Gifts 4 Writer Moms

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happy mother's day card picture

By Books Writer Denise Turney

Globally, celebrating Mother’s Day dates back to the ancient Romans and ancient Greeks. In those days, festivals honored the goddesses Cybele and Rhea. Fast forward to more modern times. And it is Anna Jarvis who is credited with hosting the first American Mother’s Day celebration in May 1908. President Woodrow Wilson established the second Sunday in May as the official national Mother’s Day in 1914.

Honor Moms In Your Life

Mother’s Day is a time when people treat their mothers, grandmothers, wives, aunts and friends to a home cooked breakfast. Talk about homemade luxury, having a meal served to you while you’re relaxing in bed.

It’s also the day when family and friends visit restaurants and gift the moms in their lives with gorgeous bouquets, cards and creative gifts. For moms, it’s the chance to be surrounded by family and friends that makes this day sweet.

If you have a mother who invested her all into you, flowers and brunch at a popular restaurant may not feel like enough. After all, you want to shower your mom with as much love, warmth and appreciation as you can. You want her to know how much you appreciate her seemingly endless patience, physical presence, listening ear, comfort, love and ongoing support.

Great Gifts for Writer Moms

Who could blame you? Yours is a warm heart. Yet, there are so many Mother’s Day gift ads to wade through that picking out a gift could take more time than you’d like, especially if you’re buying gifts for writer moms. Here are great gifts that you could celebrate the writer moms in your life with:

  • Ceramic drinking mug with covers of books your mom authored. Forget buying the ceramic mug. Instead, take an arts class and create the ceramic Mother’s Day gift yourself.
  • Handmade Mother’s Day card. Fill the card with pictures of fun events that the writer moms in your life had a blast attending.
  • Bookstore gift card that’s tucked inside a bouquet of fresh flowers
  • Spa day gift certificate – But don’t just give writer moms spa day gift certificates for Mother’s Day. Gift them with certificates that allow them to get pampered from head-to-toe year-round.
  • Supply of organic home delivery meals – Writer moms working under a tight deadline may especially appreciate this Mother’s Day gift.
  • Airline ticket to the location in a writer mom’s favorite novel.
  • Year of decorative writing journals. You got it! Writer moms love to write so much that they may capture their dreams, creative ideas and more in a journal.
  • Sweet, gentle smelling bubble bath gift set. This one’s hard to beat, especially considering how relaxing a warm bubble bath is.

Mother’s Day Gifts Delight Writer Moms

Writers aren’t always the easiest people to buy gifts for. Fortunately, writers are creative who love artwork. That’s why they appreciate homemade gifts like journal covers, picture frames and silk floral arrangements that you make yourself.

Of course, writer moms enjoy spring fashions, lunch at a chic restaurant and an afternoon with family and friends. But, if you want to give writer moms gifts that they’ll remember for years, get creative. Also, days leading up to Mother’s Day, surprise writer moms with a phone call. Tell them you were thinking of them and just wanted to say “Hello!”

You can’t go wrong with that choice. After all, writer moms are really in tune with emotion. They work with emotions to create characters and stories you love to read. So, this Mother’s Day, gift writer moms with experiences and treats that cause them to feel wanted, appreciated and valued. This list is a wonderful start.

11 Book Reading Benefits

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By Book Author Denise Turney

book reading choices

Book reading benefits are hidden beneath so much great entertainment. You sink into these benefits at certain times. For instance, snowstorms, long vacations and relaxing weekends are times when it’s easy to tuck yourself inside the pages of a deeply moving book. It’s as if you don’t have good enough reason to talk yourself out of reading a book, especially a mind-blowing novel, while weather has you indoors or time itself, plays the role of a good friend.

Lasting Book Reading Benefits

But here’s the thing. Whether you read purely for entertainment or not, there are so many advantages to reading books. If you’re an avid book reader, you already know how much you gain. On the other hand, if you’re on the fence about buying and reading a new, entertaining or educational (e.g., history books, technical books) title, check out these 11 benefits associated with book reading. Some of these benefits might surprise you:

  1. Less Stress – Reading good books takes your mind off of challenges you’re facing in your life, experiences you want a break from. That’s why reading books is a great way to relax.
  2. Imagination – For sure, reading great novels is an effective way to stimulate your imagination. Who knows? Something might pop up in a book you’re reading that helps you find an answer to a question you’re seeking.
  3. Meet Awesome Characters – What’s better than meeting and exploring awesome fictional characters?
  4. Quicker Pick-Up – Reading a lot of books can definitely help you to grasp important facts.
  5. Encourages Young Readers – When your children, nieces and nephews see you reading books, it encourages them to read. Better yet, if you read to your kids, grandkids and nieces and nephews, you can help them build a love for reading.

Book Reading Keeps on Giving

  1. Learning – Also, you don’t have to read nonfiction to learn while you read. In fact, novels, especially historical novels, are rich with educational facts and information.
  2. Motivation – Sure, self-help books are packed with motivation. But there are biographies, autobiographies and novels that leave you feeling truly motivated.
  3. Sharper Concentration – Because you focus while reading a book, your ability to concentrate may improve.
  4. Brain Stimulation – Depending on the book type, you might stimulate both your right and left brain while reading, especially if you complete workbook exercises.
  5. Entertainment – Yes! This is it! Great entertainment, right at home is a top advantage of reading great books.
  6. Friends – Join a book club and you can make good friends. Also, a talented author creates characters that you root for, characters you love – characters who feel like good friends.

Go Deeper with Great Books

Who knows? Read three great books in a row and you might not go a month without reading at least one book. Give it a minute, and you might even become one of those cool train, bus or airplane passengers who’s reading an awesome novel on the way to and from work or during your commute to and from school.

Even more, should you be able to set clear reading boundaries (lucky you!), you might sleep better after you read a good book. But be warned. Putting a good book down is not easy.

Depending on the depth of the characters and the jams they find themselves in, you might keep telling yourself “just one more page”. Yep, that’s another thing about reading good books. You keep wanting to know what’s going to happen to your favorite characters. After all, these characters are about to change you.

Happy book reading!

How to Practice Self-Love in Less than 5 Minutes

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Flower Wikimedia Commons – Picture by Christian Ferrer

By Freelance Writer and Books Author Denise Turney

Self-love offers the assurance that you are always loved and are always lovable. When it comes to loving yourself, there are options, choices that cause you to receive and experience peace, joy and dare say — love. To get the most out of these options, start appreciating yourself. For example, the more patient you are with yourself, the more eager you become to exit abusive relationships – be they abusive romantic, social, religious or career relationships.

Loving You Offers Enormous Rewards

In fact, it’s hard to stay in unloving relationships when you know that you deserve love and you know that you are lovable. Beliefs about your value will shift, and like the Red Sea, you will part from what no longer aligns with how you perceive yourself. Additionally, self-love gifts you with the confidence to connect with people whose presence centers you in joy and peace.

Also, self-love builds inner trust. Once you start trusting yourself, that still small voice seems to get louder, clearer. That’s when you become aware of guidance directing you through challenges. If you’re looking to learn to love yourself, here are 11 simple steps.

Self-Love Practices

On the other hand, if you’ve made self-love part of your life and are committed to the practice, the idea that loving yourself can help you design amazing experiences isn’t farfetched. Following are ways to practice self-love in less than 5 minutes:

  • Start the day with a thought, a word and an emotion of appreciation. For example, you could wake with a “Thank You” followed by 10 seconds of silence.
  • Pray for what you want (also take smart actions). Prayer may well be a sign that you believe you are cared for enough to have your request be heard and answered.
  • Meditate for 2 to 14 minutes a day. As an example, you could sit still for 3 minutes at night before you retire to bed.
  • Eat and drink a healthy diet of fresh water, non-GMO fruit and vegetables, etc.

More Quick Self-Love Practices

  • Get outside and enjoy a walk, bike ride, jog or swim. Simply get outdoors and enjoy nature as you move your body.
  • Speak kindly to yourself throughout the day. For instance, you could stand naked in front of a long mirror and say, “I love you” to yourself before you dress in the morning. And you could do the same at night.
  • Connect with people you trust, people who are kind, caring and loving to not only you but others as well.
  • Engage in three or more activities that cause you to feel peace and joy.

Love Pour Over Me Support

You can never start self-love practices too soon. Patience is one of the greatest of the self-love practices. Yes. Despite your best intentions, you’re going to make mistakes. But you cannot make a mistake that cannot be corrected. So, keep advancing on your amazing journey. Practice self-love as Raymond Clarke, the major character in the book Love Pour Over Me, learns that he too must.

I encourage you to get a copy of the fictional story, Love Pour Over Me to witness the twists and turns, the highs and lows and the challenges and victories that Raymond experiences. Perhaps you will find encouragement, inspiration, motivation and support through reading Raymond’s story — support to continue (or start) loving yourself each and every day — at all times.

How To Stay Motivated During Hard Times

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By Books Author Denise Turney

If you want sustainable success and happiness, you need to learn how to stay motivated during hard times. You need to maintain positive expectations with old projects, classic relationships, mature goals and change. Why?

Being motivated is easy during new starts unless you resist change. When things are new, you can imagine outcomes that suit your desires. Unwanted results have yet to reveal themselves. You can lie to yourself at the start.

It’s tough to stay motivated after small changes enter old routines. Your resistance to what is happening makes experiences hard. If only you felt safe and certain with every bit of change.

woman looking to stay motivated wearing scarf and red shirt
Motivated Woman Wearing Scarf Wikimedia Commons – Picture by Koshy Koshy

Let Go of Control to Stay Motivated

Change puts you outside of the realm of control. After all, it’s hard to control what you know little or nothing about. For instance, new, demanding jobs; out-of-state housing moves; sharp economic swings; unbounded commercial success; fascinating weight loss and new romantic relationships occur absence your experience in knowing how to handle them.

To keep pace with change, particularly unexpected change, you’ll have to enter learning mode. Prepare yourself for a series of mistakes. You’re in new territory. It may be weeks, months, before you start to feel like you know what you’re doing.

Current and Recent Hard Times

Although hard, bitter and tragic, COVID-19 was one such recent event. The event was so shockingly unexpected that, for weeks as it regards a vaccine, there was no one to seek for a certain answer. So much of the process to adapt to the harsh change, called for courage and the sheer motivation to lift your head and keep moving forward.

And, as tempting as it is to insulate yourself from hard times, in this world, be it COVID-19 or another great unprecedented challenge, insulting yourself from hard times may be impossible. Sure. You could motivate yourself by building a wall of routine, fighting hard to keep change from seeping inside your life. But you’d eventually find that boring.

Lifetime of Motivation

A better option is to use your imagination, inner vision and courage to stay motivated during hard times. Fortunately, although it may not be comfortable, it is doable. In fact, you can take a first step forward today. For example, you could read inspirational quotes and perseverance quotes. Furthermore, you could:

  • Capture experiences that you are thankful for in a journal
  • Pay attention
  • Be aware of patterns tucked inside changes, including welcomed and unexpected changes. These patterns may hold clues to future successes.
  • Respect yourself by being honest about what you see and experience. Avoid fantasy and illusion.
  • Record weight loss and physical fitness achievements to strengthen workout motivation
  • Read books about hard times resilient people faced and overcame
  • Create a budget and start paying down debt to enter financial freedom

Help to Stay Motivated During Hard Times

  • Get outside for walks, a jog or a bike ride. It’s amazing how motivating natural sunlight is
  • Do something new each day, something new, fun and exciting
  • Make raising your hands toward the ceiling, as if trying to stretch as tall as you can, part of your morning wake-up routine
  • Removing yourself from people and routines that lend you to weighty feelings of guilt, shame, confusion and smallness (definitely don’t hang out with people who leave you feeling as if you’re not enough)
  • Engage in at least three daily activities that make it easy for you to feel joy and peace
  • Help someone else
  • Listen to uplifting music

Start Getting Motivated

But don’t wait until you’re facing hard times to start taking the above steps. If you wait, you may find it particularly tough to start incorporating smart actions into your days.

During hard and easy times, connect with healthy people. Yes. It’s tempting to go it alone during hard times. But don’t give into this temptation. Too much time alone could find you feeling isolated and as if you don’t have help, as if you have to push through the hardest experiences by yourself all of the time. Reach out to inwardly healthy people. Talk through what you’re feeling.

Being around inwardly healthy people is healing. In fact, communication may be the best way through change, including hard change. Communication gives you access to direct, firsthand advice, insights and inspiration. When you hear others share their challenges, you feel less alone. You feel a belonging.

Read the fictional story of Mulukan, a six-year-old orphan, to stay encouraged. It is stories like Long Walk Up that can help you stay motivated during hard times. I wish you well!

Dealing With Major Life Changes – When You Can’t Go Back

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By Books Author Denise Turney

People outdoors on a street dealing with major life changes
People outdoors on street Wikimedia Commons, Picture by Moheen Reeyad

Major life changes can knock the wind out of you. They can break your heart. One way you might be dealing with big shifts is by creating a set schedule. For instance, you might have developed a schedule for when you wake, exercise, check emails and relax for the evening. You could even commute the same way.

But schedules can’t stop life from coming at you. That’s right. Living small or forcing yourself into predictable routines won’t save you from big shifts. They could even push you toward boredom which, in time, could develop into a gnawing depression.

Daily Routines Go Away

I learned this the hard way after years of sticking with a workable routine. What you think is predictable won’t save you, even if that predictability is rooted in religion. The first time I learned this was after my mom transitioned.

Then, I learned this when my dad moved, leaving us with our paternal grandparents for a year. And I definitely learned this after my son transitioned. Writing novels couldn’t save me then. I’m surprised that I even started writing on another novel.

Dealing with Major Life Changes

So, what to do? How can you effectively deal with major life changes, especially the types of changes that you can never turn back from?

For starters, acknowledge that you are dealing with a major life change. Discover the impact that the change could have on you. The Holmes-Rahe Life Stress Inventory could be a good place to start.

Additionally, you might find it helpful to write about what happened (e.g., divorce, layoff, loved one transitioning). Even more, it might prove beneficial to talk with a trusted friend or professional about what you are going through.

Stay Motivated – Keep Going

And, referring to “going through”, encourage yourself that you will get through what you’re experiencing. Be honest about what you feel and experience.

Take breaks, especially when you feel yourself becoming imbalanced. Also, exercise, drink plenty of water and eat a healthy diet.

Pay attention to times when you feel tempted to eat or drink unhealthy. It could be a sign that you need to rest. It could be a sign that you need support.

Love yourself. Give yourself the positive help that you need.

More Ways to Deal with Major Life Changes

Getting outside for 40 or more consecutive minutes a day helped me tremendously while I was dealing with a job layoff during the Great Recession. Who knows? It might prove beneficial for you too.

Here are more way to deal with major life changes. Keep in mind, that honesty, patience and self-love are key components of each of the below actions:

  • Depending on the life change, you could write down benefits that derived from the change. For example, after I was laid off, I launched my freelance writing career. I also discovered more ways to connect my novels with appreciative book readers.
  • Take action to move into the next phase of your life. After all, you know that you can’t stay where you are. You don’t want to get stuck in a bad place.
  • Go on a social media and TV diet. Trying reading a good book instead.
  • Spend time with friends. For example, you could visit with one or more friends at least once a week. You could call a friend once a week.

Tips to Help You Shift

As hard as it may be to believe, getting through major life changes can teach you a lot about yourself. You can get through what you’re facing. Here are additional actions that you could take to effectively deal with major life changes:

  • Keep connecting with people who love you. As tempting as it might be, don’t isolate yourself.
  • Get enough sleep. But don’t oversleep.
  • Appreciate healthy (non-isolating) routines.
  • Avoid adding another major change into your life until you get through this change mentally, emotionally and physically.
  • Watch your finances. Don’t overspend. Money can’t help you avoid the stress that you want to run away from.
  • Try something different once a day or once a week. It could be something as small as driving a new route to work or trying a new salad when you visit a restaurant.

In this world, it’s impossible to avoid change. Regardless of what happens in your life, you’ll find great benefit in being patient with yourself. At the same time, sticking a few existing routines could help prevent you from feeling like the ground is shifting right beneath your feet.

But routines won’t save you from change. They can help reduce stress, but they won’t stop change. Keep moving in the right direction. Keep advancing. Surround yourself with loving people. Offer yourself as much support, peace and love that you can. Be like Mulukan in Long Walk Up and never, ever give up on YOU.

10 Virtual Book Marketing Tips

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By Books Author Denise Turney

Gone are the days when writer’s conferences, book festivals and live author book signings were held solely in-person. COVID-19 shifted those trends. To succeed in today’s literary world as an author, you need to implement the right virtual book marketing techniques.

Additionally, and as solitary as the book industry may seem to be, in order to thrive, bookstore owners, book publishers, literary agents, publicists and authors need to connect with each other as well as with readers. Keep reading to discover how to make these connections online.

books on laptop screen and book marketing ipad
Book marketing website

Book Marketing from Remote Locations

Traditional book marketing options have definitely changed, thanks to COVID-19. But there are still ways to develop and maintain rewarding connections with book buyers and industry leaders. This article focuses on keyways that authors and readers can connect online.

It’s important to remember that book marketing is about more than selling books. In fact, it’s while marketing books that authors get the chance to build rewarding face-to-face relationships with book buyers. Especially during book signings, writers can ask readers what appealed to them about their novel, who their favorite characters are and what they’d like to see in upcoming books.

The below tips have been proven to work in the virtual world. There’s only one tip that you might have to leave your home to complete.

These 5 Tips Support Social Distancing

The first tip is important for nearly any book marketing environment. In fact, you may want to keep using that tip and the other tips after in-person book events increase:

  1. Create a book mailing list. Looking for ways to do this? Add a “Subscribe Here” button to your website. Offer website visitors the chance to win free copies of your books as giveaways. To participate in giveaways, ask website visitors to fill out a form that requires them to provide their email address. Include a box for visitors to check, confirming that they agree to receive discount, free and informational content from you.
  2. Host a Facebook Live book reading. In fact, this is great way to stir up interest in older titles. And it’s a great way to generate interest in your soon-to-be-released novel.
  3. Build a newsletter. If you’re looking to save time, try an automated mail system like Mail Chimp, Constant Contact, Mail Monkey, etc.
  4. Schedule online radio interviews. Podcasts like Off The Shelf Books Talk Radio conduct one-hour author feature interviews.
  5. Send electronic holiday greetings. Send electronic holiday greetings to targeted recipients (e.g., readers who’ve purchased one or more books from you, book club presidents, leaders of organizations that work in the field your book is focused in).

More Book Marketing Tips in a Virtual World

  1. Design social media headers. These are professional headers that attract immediate attention. However, if you don’t have solid design skills, consider working with a talented graphics artist or website designer.
  2. Order a book marketing magnet for your car. Place the magnet on your car’s bumper or the front or back doors.
  3. Join a cross-author book promotion group. And be prepared to share other writers’ books with your contacts. Writers in the group will do the same for your titles.
  4. Introduce your books to private social media groups. But don’t just market your books. Post questions, answer questions and offer tips.
  5. Develop cool book marketing postcards to mail to your contacts. This is where you may have to leave home and go to the post office. Why? These are hard (hold-in-your-hand) postcards.

Growing Book Marketing Strategies

Social distancing or not, marketing books is not easy. To be successful, as an author, you have to be committed. This means, that you market your books even if you go days without a book sale. You market books when it’s storming outside, you feel like you’re wasting time and your outreach yields numerous “no’s”.

Also, to know which book marketing actions best fit your book, your schedule, travel and financial situation, track your efforts. You’ll love that this is as simple as tracking contacts like book clubs, radio stations, newspaper editors, librarians and social media groups on a spreadsheet. Update the spreadsheet with outreach results. For example, did your email to a local radio DJ yield you an interview? If so, log that on the spreadsheet with the date of the interview.

It can be so beneficial. In fact, when more in-person events are held, consider incorporating the above tips into your standard book marketing efforts. Also, stay creative. In other words, keep looking for and developing new, effective ways to find and connect with readers.

Stay Strong If Life Gets Tough

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By Books Author Denise Turney

Woman looking in mirror holding weights to stay strong
Woman Lifting Weights to Stay Strong Wikimedia Commons – Picture by Scott Webb

It’s easy to stay strong when you don’t feel pressured. But let a series of unexpected events drop into your life and you could start to wobble psychologically and emotionally. As difficult as it may feel to stay in the game, don’t let this challenge stop you.

If you’re struggling, it’s understandable. Why? You can’t plan for every experience you’re going to have to muscle through. What you can do is build safeguards.

Preparing for Emergencies

Even if managing budgets isn’t your thing, you can invest in an emergency fund. This could reduce stress you feel around unexpected auto repairs, medical bills or a job layoff. And, as someone who was laid off during the Great Recession, let me tell you – an emergency fund is a sure advantage. I highly recommend creating an emergency fund.

But an emergency fund won’t make you aware of every emergency that’s headed your way. And it’s this uncertainty that can wear you down, especially if you are pushed into a situation that demands that you face heightened levels of uncertainty day after day after day.

Stay strong.

Stay Strong Start to Finish

As someone who’s been thru her share of the unexpected, please let me share a few tips on how to stay strong if life gets tough. Here goes:

  • Start the day saying “Thank You” – That’s right, appreciation yields huge returns. As tough as it might feel, open up to sincere appreciation.
  • Bring your hobbies alive – Regularly engage in a hobby you love.
  • Activate a talent – Similar to hobbies, start using your talents.
  • Drink plenty of water – stay hydrated
  • Eat green leafy vegetables
  • Get outside and move – For example, you could enjoy a walk, jog, hike, swim, dance or bike ride.

More Ways to Stay Strong

It’s worth noting that, while you incorporate these actions into your day, willpower won’t suffice, not in the long run. The best willpower hits a wall, finds a stopping point. These times call for motivation. Above all, remember why you started pursuing a goal. That reminder is a powerful motivator. Check out these ways to stay motivated during hard times.

  • Read encouraging writings that are rooted in truth
  • Find someone or something to help, especially if the assistance is linked to a goal you’re pursuing
  • Map out how you can get out of the challenge you’re currently experiencing. For instance, you could list resources, contacts and specific actions you will take to get on the other side of the challenge. Trying to get out of debt? List your bills on a spreadsheet. Then, list your income, additional work you can take on to bring in more money and debts you could eliminate now (e.g., cable bill, streaming service, eating out). Set deadlines for when you will pay off bills. During this time, do not create new bills or get new credit cards.
  • Celebrate small success. As an example, you could light a candle, buy yourself flowers or enjoy an edible treat after you take a step towards a positive goal.
  • Keep making friends and strengthening healthy relationships

Strength in Real Life Connections

Above all, stay connected to people. If you’re in an isolated area, consider getting a pet. At first, it may not seem like it. But maintaining real life connections is a key way to stay strong if life gets tough. These real-life connections are face-to-face connections.

Even if you seek support from people in private social media groups, maintain healthy face-to-face connections. Also, don’t expect (or wait for) other people to reach out to you if you’re in a tough situation.

Reach out first. In time, others should start taking the initiative to reach out. Definitely stay open to making new friends.

While you practice appreciation, map out how you will address the challenge and maintain healthy face-of-face connections, believe in YOU! Don’t give up on yourself. There really is more within you than you may ever know while you’re in this world. You’d be shocked to know how much is in you. So, stay strong if life gets tough. Stay motivated and reach your deepest, most important goals.

Quiet Time at Home Calls for Good Books

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By African American Books Author Denise Turney

Love Pour Over Me good books cover
Love Pour Over Me Book Cover

Good books make home the sweetest place. Let’s paint the scene. You’ve just knocked out a 10-hour workday, talk about feeling happy to be home. The first thing you do is kick your shoes off and head for the refrigerator, where you pour yourself a cold, inviting glass of apple juice.

When the Mood Shifts

But that’s not enough. Ten minutes don’t pass before you pull a new mystery thriller out of your den’s bookcase, and sit down with that delicious apple juice, cross your legs and start to read. Oh, the joys of a peaceful home.

Home really is where the heart is. It’s comforting, the spot where you lay your burdens down.

Convincing?

Here’s another way to look at it. Even considering how good it feels to be home after a trying day, let a rush freelance project, unexpected school exam, illness or home repair require you to stay home for two weeks, and the feel of home could change.

Likeable-Loveable Book Characters

Your once peaceful abode can suddenly feel like an island you can’t get off of. Know what time it is? It’s time for a good book.

Yes. To get a welcoming fresh start, explore the inner workings of good books. A taut, suspense novel like Spiral, The Firm, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo or Devil In A Blue Dress, can keep you so caught up wondering what’s coming next that hours may pass before you realize that you’re still sitting on the living room sofa. This is just one reason why books make the best gifts.

If yours is a particularly warm, passionate heart, try curling up in your cozy bed, soft pastel pillows pushed gently against your elbows and ribs. Let the hours pass gently as you get so acquainted with two main characters in a moving romance novel like The Wedding Date, Forget Me Not, The Notebook or Love Pour Over Me, that the characters feel like friends you never want to part with.

Good Books That Entertain – Change Your Life

Options are open. When it comes to good books, there’s a story in every genre, from the classics to new releases, some set in the yet-to-be-discovered future, to noble traditional fiction books. With good fiction, it’s easy to let the author steer you along a pathway that you’d never expected to be on. Read books written by a rare talent, and you might feel like your life has been changed for the better even before you turn the last page.

Thing is, it was a poetry book written by Chicago’s great Gwendolyn Brooks, that changed my life. I am fortunate to have been introduced to this thin book of poetry when I was 10 years old. It was a time of great change in my life. My sister found the book in our elementary school library. It’s still odd to me how my sister dropped the book on the bed that we shared then turned, raced back down the stairs and headed outside to play. She never read the book. Me. The book changed my life.

Time to Read a Good Book

It was the end of a routine, uneventful school day. At first, I didn’t want to read the book. Being in a funk, it took me a few minutes to give into my love of reading, a habit that brings endless reward. You got it. Soon, I had the book in my hands. It was then that I was pulled under Gwendolyn Brooks’ spell.

That book of poems changed my life. It really did. For the first time, book characters seemed alive. And the scenes that the characters were placed in felt real, reminding me of real-life settings my family, friends and I had found ourselves in.

While I read the book, everything seemed to have shifted. Really. If you’ve read a good book, you know the effect that a great story has on you. Admittedly, it’s hard to trade something else in for this rare experience.

Read good books and you could tap into inspiration to live your best life. Your confidence could lift, vision to solve a problem might surface and the gift of connecting with amazing, complicated characters could be yours.

So, if you’re stuck in the house, mentally nibbling on the edges of cabin fever, consider reaching for a good book. All you’ll have to do is turn the pages. A talented writer makes everything else so easy. At the end of the journey, you may be more than entertained. You may tap into courage, motivation, creativity and pleasure. In the most amazing, unexpected ways, you might be changed.

Life Changing Stories that Matter

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By Books Writer Denise Turney

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Life changing stories

Life changing stories are part of the human experience. Sharpen your radar, and you might notice that people tell stories before they ask for money, for a time investment, or for a favor like helping them to pack and move. For example, just before she asks you to help her pay her rent, a friend might tell you a story about how she contracted a virus and incurred an unexpected medical bill.

Life Changing Stories – Lasting Impact

Certainly, some of us are better storytellers than others. And it doesn’t mean that someone is lying simply because he tells good stories. In fact, before humans were writing or reading, we were telling stories. Oral traditions date back centuries. In places like West Africa, oral storytelling was used to entertain, educate and maintain histories. As it did then, storytelling offers so much to appreciate, love and share.

In other parts of the world, chants were used as part of storytelling. So too were songs, poems and dance. Clearly, storytelling is a powerful communication tool. Marketers use it to develop emotional connections between consumers and their brands, products and/or services. Preachers use it to clarify scriptures and biblical teachings. Furthermore, romantic couples use storytelling to build a bridge of understanding.

Regardless of the reason, to be impactful, stories must resonate. And, it’s not the storyteller who gets to determine how deeply a story resonates. But, a skilled storyteller can be so finely tuned into her audience, that she easily picks up cues from her audience, alerting her when to shift the focus of a story, share new events and churn a story with questions and cliffhanging emotion.

What Great Storytelling Does

Even then, the goal of the story remains unchanged. Dare it be said that the goal of a good story is to connect two people (the storyteller and the listener)? And, if not to connect the person telling the story and the listener then the goal is to connect the characters in the story and the reader.

Think about it. If you love reading stories, you probably have a few favorite book characters. Maybe it’s the inquisitive girl who grew up to be the detective who solves a century old mystery that has been plaguing a culture.

Or maybe it’s the injured Olympian who attempts suicide only to stumble upon a beggar who changes his life, inspiring him to give his life one more chance, the very chance that finds the injured Olympian doing the work that helps orphans go from living desperate to triumphant lives.

Your Part in Great Life Changing Stories

Admittedly, you may not notice it. But, as it is with the friend who tells you a story before she asks you to help pay her rent, you’re a part of the story. You’re not just a listener or a reader. In fact, the story wouldn’t work without you. Every great storyteller knows this.

Can’t you see an audience sitting around an oral storyteller centuries ago, waiting to hear what happens next, waiting to hear what the storyteller will share next? Have you ever wondered if these eager listeners knew that the stories that they listened to would impact their lives? Yes, even made up or fictional stories.

Do you think that’s why you like to read so much? You want your life to change. Somehow, you do. And you love when you happen upon a skilled storyteller who can help you to realize just that change.