Harnessing the Power of Accepting Truths

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By African American Books Author Denise Turney

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Power of accepting truths is real. After all, truth is the gateway to freedom. Yet, it’s the idea of deep truths that we love. For example, we love the idea that all humans are created equal. But we compete, compare and search for differences then tell ourselves and each other that we aren’t, in fact, created equal.

Add in the fact that humans don’t like being wrong and it’s easy to see how we point to evidence that our beliefs and our biases are right. After this cycle gets started, it could take us years to pause long enough to examine what we’re doing. It could take us years to accept the truth, or could there be a shortcut to accepting truths?

Want To Know The Truth

I’ve caught myself doing this numerous times. For me, there’s often an element of magical thinking at work when I turn away from the power of accepting truths. When I pushed myself too hard and felt near burnout, I told myself that it would all be better after a night of sleep (magical thinking). Truth was that I had to acknowledge what I was doing to myself and insert healthy change into my day, which (thankfully) I eventually did.

But magical thinking isn’t the only thing that might stop you from accepting truth. Refusal to look at what you’re thinking, believing or doing can also prevent you from accepting truth. The downside is that you wouldn’t be free. You’d also have to try to shelter in thought defense systems in effort to keep good truths out of your awareness.

Finding and Accepting the Truth

To thicken these self-imposed barricades, you might seek people to agree with you, to share your erroneous thoughts or ideas. Yet, that doesn’t change the truth. However, if you keep defending and repeating and/or acting out your erroneous beliefs, you could start to think that these thought errors are, in fact, the truth.

Don’t ignore the power of the mind. It has the power to accept or block inner truth and universal truth. In fact, there may be no more powerful tool anywhere, which brings back the starting point. There is power in accepting truth. Start small if you feel that turning away from erroneous thoughts you have used to feel safe for years will place you in emotional danger.

As an example, if you struggle with a food or beverage addiction, you could study what the food or beverage does to the human body. Or you could visit a facility where the food or beverage is made.

A friend did this with pork. After seeing for himself how hot dogs were made, he never ate pork again.

Desire for Deep Truths

The more you see how erroneous thoughts are keeping you from accepting truth (the gateway to freedom), the more you may desire the truth. But be advised. Your mind might fight against accepting truths, especially if you feel unloved, uncared for and unsafe.

Yet, there’s very good news. Even if you endured an abusive childhood and/or abusive adult relationships, you could always start learning to love yourself. When you love you, you’ll always be loved.

Power of Accepting Truths Leads to Freedom

As you feel mentally safer, your desire for truth may expand, deepen and strengthen. Then, you may start to spot erroneous mental patterns and ask for help to release those patterns, replacing them with good truths.

But please be warned that if you look at what others are doing and feel you’re being slighted if another person continues in thought defense systems and erroneous thinking, you could feel anger. And you might feel as if your accepting and living in truth won’t change the world, improve the world or make another person better. You also might decide to stop accepting truth. Yet, that won’t change the fact that truth is the gateway to freedom.

So, keep accepting the truth, one experience after the other. At the very least, you’ll be free.

Surrender Your Expectations to Gain a Better Life

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By Books Author Denise Turney

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Surrender your expectations to enjoy the life you want. It’s not as hard as it seems. Generally, it starts at the beginning of whatever it is you’re pursuing.

If you look back, you’ll see that much of what you’ve done felt exhilarating at the beginning. Starts are exciting, full of hope, trust and surprise. They rarely require surrender. Instead, you might have to pump the brakes and slow yourself down. You’re so ready to step into something new.

There may be no better time when you don’t need convincing that a relationship, project or travel plan will absolutely turn out fabulously. Then, you get to the middle of a relationship, work at the same company for two years or are six months into a year-long international nature trip.

Surrender Your Expectations at the Start

As fun as your nature trip has been, there have been bumps. Imagine this. While in Italy, on a winding country road, you get lost. But you keep driving, figuring that you’ll find your way back to your hotel. Five minutes don’t pass before a tire on your rental car pops then flattens. It’s night. All you feel that you can do is curse and bang the steering wheel. Yet, that won’t get you to the hotel.

Then, there’s the food that you ate while visiting Brazil a day ago that your stomach is still angry with you about. When it comes to work, you’ve been on the job long enough to get to know the different personalities. You get along with nearly everyone. But the strong-willed executive assistant is rubbing your nerves real thin. And one of your managers just won’t stop challenging your every decision.  It wasn’t that way when you started. There was nothing to surrender to then.

In fact, on your first day at the job, the entire team treated you to breakfast, hugs and the most delightful conversation. Oh, and that used-to-be-new relationship. There are things about your partner that are starting to annoy you. It’s only happened twice. But you’ve started to wonder if you picked the right partner.

Welcome to the Middle – Time to Surrender Your Expectations

You’re in the middle, the place where struggle can occur and the only way out is through surrender. Better, you can’t go back and you know it. If you stay, you’ll have to set a new goal for the relationship, job or trip.

For example, instead of staying in the relationship so you can prove to your family and friends that you married the right person or staying together so that your kids can grow up with both their parents living in the same house, the new goal for your relationship might be to have a blast exploring the world together, starting two businesses that thrive for generations and, more importantly, helping each other to awaken spiritually.

Even with the changed goal, it’s going to take focus and commitment. Why? You’re going to want to quit. Now that your goal has shifted, to succeed, you need to do two more things. You need to surrender and trust.

Surrender to your true Self. And, surrender to the Creator. Then, trust that the Creator and your true Self know the way that you should go. Sound easy? Only if it was.

Resisting the Aim of Surrendering

Ego is going to put up a fierce battle to keep you under its guidance. You may be enticed to return to old addictions (e.g. soda addiction, food addiction, exercise addiction, gossip addiction, alcohol addiction). Also, you might be tempted to return to old relationships. Who knows? You might even start to think sidestepping surrendering and going back to a former job is the way that you should go.

But why do you want to go back? You’ve already spent time in the past. Certainly, you know what’s back there. If you don’t surrender and go back now, boredom, low energy and lack of engagement could await.

Surrender to Gain a Better Life

So, are you feeling afraid about what could lay ahead?

And what part of you is feeling afraid?

To surrender, you need to have faith. You absolutely need to trust the very Source that created you. And why not? You trusted Source while you were being created. Certainly, you can trust now.

Surrender. Pray. Meditate. Explore. Ask questions. Stay curious. Live open. Practice patience. Love yourself. Practice awareness. Be honest with yourself. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Let yourself learn. Accept the best visions for your life. Walk in faith. Love at all times. Tap into your core. Follow inner guidance. Take smart actions. Keep advancing.

How to Open Yourself to More Miracles

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By Books Author Denise Turney

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Miracles are all around you. In simplest form, miracles remove what appears to keep you from being aware of love. Also, God phenomenon or real-life spiritual wonders are described as an experience that occurs outside of natural or scientific laws. It’s due to how these experiences occur that they are considered God wonders.

You Don’t Have to Be Religious to Receive Miracles

Better yet, religious affiliation nor religious beliefs are required to receive miracles. But whether you’re offering prayers for financial help or another prayer for a blessing right now, to receive or to see miracles and to experience miracles firsthand, you need to do more than expect goodness.

You need to open yourself to miracles. And, here’s a key, a very important key.

To receive miracles, give the miracle of forgiveness. A Course In Miracles is a book dedicated solely to forgiveness. Before you read the book, it may prove beneficial to study projection. You could also practice awareness and try to catch yourself projecting.

If you’re like me, you’re going to resist accepting that you engage in projection. And, who could fault you? After all, it’s hard to see how your thoughts could influence your experiences, including how others perceive you and treat you. Just a hard sell. But, that doesn’t mean that you aren’t projecting.

Projection and Real-Life Miracles

Here’s an easy way to look at projection, especially as it regards real life miracles. Think about a projector, the equipment used to project or show an image that’s placed on a machine out onto a wall or screen so that more people can see the image.

With experiences, the mind is the projector and thoughts are the image. The world is the wall or the screen that your thoughts are projected onto. You have no idea how much I fought this. But experiences showed me that it is so.

For example, when I focused on one to three traits to appreciate about someone who I was struggling to get along with, the way that the person responded to me actually changed. This I have experienced many times.

Miracle Of Forgiveness

In other words, my thoughts about the person changed. Then, what I projected or saw in the world regarding the person changed. These experiences are like real life miracles.

So, to open yourself to real life miracles, look for the link between your thoughts and what you’re seeing in the world. Be honest. Be aware. You can always change your thoughts. In fact, changing your thoughts is a first step to open yourself to miracles.

Blessings Come with Forgiveness

The second way to open yourself to miracles is to forgive. Sounds simple. But, the miracle of forgiveness is powerful. A tip to forgive is to start writing one to three actions, talents, etc. that you appreciate about the person you feel the emotions of anger, fear or sadness around. Do this every day until you witness a shift.

For instance, after you practice forgiveness, that person might smile and speak to you or you might stop feeling angry or afraid when you hear the person’s name or are in the person’s presence. Those are signs that something has shifted.

Let Go of Control

Another way to experience the miracle of forgiveness is to spend one to two uninterrupted hours speaking out loud, “I love you” followed by the name of the person you’re at odds with. Watch what happens the next time you see the person. I did this with someone who I thought would hate me forever. In one week, the person treated me with kindness.

Don’t use this practice as a way to manipulate someone. After all, you’re trying to see how a miracle works. You’re not trying to control anyone or anything, which brings up the third way to open yourself to miracles.

To experience real life miracles, let go. Accept that you cannot (nor probably would even want to) control everything. Avoid trying to control how miracles play out. Attempting to control miracles could leave you feeling frustrated, angry, afraid and even blind to miracles that are around you right now.

Expect Miracles

In fact, it would be shocking if real life miracles played out exactly the way you want them to. So, if you’re sending up miracle prayers for financial help, you might not get the salary increase that you want. Instead, you might receive a promotion that puts you in line for three times the bonus you’d received a year ago.

Or you might win a financial award, win a settlement or receive an unexpected financial gift – none which are related to a salary increase. But all which are forms of financial help. Therefore, stay open, forgive (this includes forgiving yourself), love yourself and others, settle into appreciation and don’t try to control outcomes. Oh, and expect miracles.

11 Signs You Need a Break

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By Freelance Writer and Books Author Denise Turney

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Signs you need a break can be hard to spot, especially if you’re a hard charger. My hand is raised high on this one. Often, I’m on the go-go-go cycle. It’s a rare day when I sit down. Hopefully, you’re better than me in this area. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t times when you don’t feel like you need a break from social, family or work responsibilities.

In fact, whether you’re a hard charger or live a life at a more balanced pace, you might feel as if nothing has changed even as you’re starting to exhaust. Also, if you’re generally relaxed and accept experiences without a lot of resistance, you may not notice that your emotions are shifting. But that doesn’t mean that you aren’t tired and need a break.

Practice Awareness to Spot When You’re in Need of a Break

This is a reason why it’s important to practice awareness. Yet don’t just pay attention to how you’re feeling.  Pay attention to your thoughts. And be honest about emotions that you’re experiencing and thoughts, including troubling thoughts, that you’re having.

For example, if you feel anger, be honest and admit that’s the emotion you’re feeling. Avoid searching for someone to blame for why you feel the emotion “anger”. Just acknowledge that it’s the emotion you’re experiencing. Anger, like all emotions, will come and go.

Or you could feel peace, happiness, jealousy, frustration or tired and in need of a break. Emotions that you feel do not define you. No one owns an emotion. In fact, as you continue to practice awareness, you’ll see how emotions and thoughts come and go. It’s when emotions get stuck or keep returning with short intervals that you could be receiving signs that you need to take a mental break.

11 Signs You Need a Break

Here are 11 signs that you may be in need of a break, mentally and/or physically. Love yourself, engage in rest best practices (which will be covered later in this article) and be patient with yourself.

  1. After sleeping 8 or more hours, you still feel tired or sleepy
  2. Thoughts feel like they’re racing or coming at you way too fast
  3. Appetite changes find you wanting to eat a lot or not wanting to eat at all
  4. Sleep is hard to come by no matter how long you lay in bed
  5. Nearly everything irritates you
  6. Desire to go outdoors starts to wane
  7. Exercise is the last thing you want to do even if you have a history of exercising every day
  8. Emotions feel charged or stronger than normal
  9. Sugars and fattening foods seem like the cure all for everything
  10. Emotional outbursts are becoming a daily event for you
  11. Focusing seems to take way too much energy

Rest Best Practices

Now, how to keep advancing when you’re tired and need a break. The best practice is to rest in God or to rest in the Creator and to accept that you’re always and only loved. Other rest best practices to take include:

  • Raise your hands in the morning and stretch, allowing appreciation
  • Speak with someone in the morning. You could do this in-person, over the telephone, via video or text.
  • Perform cardio at your desk at least once a day
  • Get outdoors and enjoy a walk
  • Drink plenty of water
  • Avoid drinking sugary and/or caffeinated beverages (or minimize the amount of sugary, caffeinated beverages that you drink)
  • Practice awareness
  • Rest an hour before retiring to bed
  • Sleep at least 6 sound hours a night
  • Reach out to family and friends – stay connected
  • Do at least three things that you love every day (for me, writing novels is on that list!)
  • Write down 3 good things that you do each day (you just might surprise yourself)
  • Meditate 5 to 10 minutes a day
  • Pick a day and focus on having fun and relaxing
  • Let other people help you
  • Open your windows and blinds and let loads of natural sunlight into your home
  • Seek help when you know you could use support

Sure. You could ignore the signs that you’re in need of a break. But that may not improve your situation. Instead, add rest best practices to your daily patterns. Also, acknowledge how you’re feeling and thinking. And rest in God and know that you are always and only loved.

Why You Should Use Book Marketing Analytics

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By African American Books Writer Denise Turney

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Book marketing analytics are a writer’s best friend. Why? Book marketing can be a challenge for authors. This is due, in part, to the fact that authors, particularly novelists, rely on imagination and creativity, not hard facts, to develop their works. While writing, creativity, imagination and relying on the muse are blessings. They aren’t necessarily blessings during the book marketing process.

Book Marketing Options

In fact, novelists can sink into magical thinking after their books are published. Fortunately, there are doors that lead from fiction writing to book marketing to book sales. The first door sees fiction writers handing the job of marketing books to publicists, marketing specialists and content marketing writers. But those options cost money.

As a fiction writer, you could go through the second door and use marketing analytics to steer your book marketing efforts. Time may be your greatest investment. It takes time, consistent time, to market books. For example, if you use Barnes and Noble, social media, Kobo, Google or Amazon sponsored ads to market your books, download marketing analytics twice a month. But don’t just download the reports.

Content Marketing Analytics

Review the reports. Pay attention to which keywords are getting clicks that turn into book sales. Lower bids on keywords that receive clicks but, no sales. Also, attend free social media and book retailer ad webinars. Keep learning. Book marketing tools and platforms change. Attending webinars can keep you abreast of these changes.

If you use eBook marketing tools like social media automated marketing platforms (e.g. HootSuite, Buffer, Marketo, InfusionSoft), review marketing analytics associated with those platforms. And make changes based on what the analytics show. Do the same with content marketing analytics.

Also, set up a Google Search Console account. Bing is another search engine it’s good to have a search console account with. Submit your author website sitemaps and ensure they are indexed by major search engines. You can check this through your search console accounts.

Content Management Systems

Additionally, you may want to work with content management systems (CMS) that have robust content marketing analytics. SEO keyword analytics, meta tag description analytics, paragraph length, image alt text, excerpt features and keyword headings are a few features to look for in content marketing analytics.

Another thing, when doing content marketing, perform keyword planning before you start writing landing pages and blog articles. Make sure your writing flows, is conversational and reads naturally. Also, focus on providing tips, insight, guidance and entertainment more than focusing on adding SEO keywords to blog articles.

About Digital Marketing Analytics

Digital marketing analytics can keep you from slipping into magical thinking as a novelist. This is an advantage. Why? Magical thinking could find you believing that your novels are going to sell loads of copies simply because you wrote the books.

If you don’t think you’re doing this, ask yourself why you’re not marketing books that you write. And, if you are marketing your books but not receiving lots of book sales, ask yourself why you aren’t doing what it takes to increase your book sales — even while you keep expecting your book sales to suddenly (somehow) pick up.

Marketing analytics can help you to steer clear of magical thinking. The length and depth of this advantage may be unknown. In fact, this advantage, can save you thousands of dollars. Also, it can save you countless hours, frustration and heartache. Really. It can.

But you can’t just have digital marketing analytics. You have to review the analytics. See what you need to change and make adjustments. This is an ongoing process. As you start to understand what works for you and take the right book marketing actions, you should see your book sales increase.

7 Smart Self-Care Choices to Flip into Good Habits

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By Books Author Denise Turney

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Smart self-care choices could protect you from burnout, frustration or depression. Selfcare is more than a buzzword. In fact, if you grew up taking care of yourself because one or more of your parents was missing or chronically ill, you know that no one is going to look out for you better than you can. It’s not just that you know your thoughts, emotions, fears and passions best, you’re the only one who’s always with you.

Putting Smart Self-Care Choices in Action

Today’s busy, at times downright hectic, world requires self care at home and self care at work. But, how can you find the time to practice daily self care? A good start is to be honest with yourself.

Be honest about how you feel. For example, as part of daily self-care acknowledge when you feel tired, exhausted, confused, disillusioned, afraid, alone, helpless or outraged. Also, acknowledge when you feel peace, joy, love, safe, hopeful, encouraged, motivated and inspired.

It’s hard to take action on what you don’t acknowledge. Other examples of self-care include:

  • Slowing down and resting before you go to bed so you can restore yourself with a good night of deep sleep. Meditating before bed, ending work at least an hour prior to bed and reading a good, light book can inspire deep sleep.
  • Trusting inner guidance and opening yourself to healthy relationships, not abusive relationships.
  • Getting outdoors in natural sunlight every day for at least 45 straight minutes. Use sunscreen to protect your skin. Vitamin D from natural sunlight may improve mood. In fact, getting outdoors may be one of the easiest things to do for self-care.

More Smart Self-Care Choices

  • Connect with family and friends every day for emotional self-care.
  • Eat a healthy diet of green, leafy vegetables and fresh fruit. After all, taking care of yourself involves your whole self.
  • Express your thoughts and emotions in a safe place. Examples of self-care expression include writing feelings, thoughts and dreams in a journal, singing, dancing and painting.
  • Set clear boundaries to practice self-care in the workplace. For instance, you can set clear work start and end times. Also, to practice self-care at work, take regular breaks, enjoy your lunch away from your desk and speak up if you experience bullying or abuse of any kind.
  • Spend time with friends during lunch at least once a month to practice self-care at work. It’s good to be alone. But you don’t want to overdo it.
  • Listen to encouraging, uplifting music, podcast and radio shows. The same goes for books.

Above all, treat yourself like you’re the best friend you have. Remove yourself from verbal, physical, sexual or any other form of abuse. For emotional self-care, speak love to yourself.

For example, you could state kind facts about yourself in front of a mirror in the morning. You could also write down one good thing that you do each day and list it in your appreciation or gratitude journal. These are just a few self-care ideas that you could flip into healthy habits.

Smart Writers Avoid These Story Missteps

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By Books Author Denise Turney

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Writers can learn a lot from real life and the arts. In fact, inspiration for these writing tips came to me while watching a television drama. As interesting as the plot for the television drama was, the characters made too many mindless choices to keep me hooked.

After a while, I felt too frustrated watching the characters make choices that would put anyone’s life in jeopardy. Kindergarteners would know better than to do what these characters did. It was more evidence that great storytelling takes work, more than an intriguing plot.

To Tell Great Stories Writers Avoid These Mistakes

Because the acting was good, I actually tried to figure out why the characters in the TV drama were unbelievable. A possible reason could be that the producers and directors were so focused on the story that they often tossed practicality and common sense to the wind. And it’s easy to do, which brings us back to story development.

To sharpen your writing craft, consider practical real-life patterns and traditions as you write. In other words, don’t have a novel character raise six kids as a single parent, operate her own multi-million-dollar business and run two marathons a year, all without ever feeling tired. Even if you’re writing fiction, write believable characters. The more real characters you write feel and seem, the better.

Also, avoid these story missteps:

  • Misalign character motives to what you reveal about the character’s childhood, development and experiences. In other words, don’t make a pastor have a marital affair just because the pastor moved to a new town or just because a woman tried to seduce him. Give the character strong, believable motives.
  • Craft story scenes were women close the front door, not once lock the door, and go upstairs or into the basement without so much as a second thought. This happens in way too many movies, including thrillers.
  • Set women characters in suspense settings but avoid having these same women characters look through a peep hole or glance out of the edge of their blinds to see who’s on the porch or front stoop before they open the door.

More Storytelling Tips for Writers

  • Build deep, abiding trust between two strangers that have known each other less than a day, the type of trust that, in real life, takes months, sometimes years, to develop.
  • Embed a motive to save someone in a character to the point that the character turns blind, even ignoring her own instincts, common sense and basic human impulses to save the person.
  • Develop a character so that he exhibits only one personality trait, ambition or motive.
  • Limit a character to a single emotion, only allowing a character to express rage, fear, kindness, weakness, intelligence or courage.
  • Introduce fashion, housing, food, slang and cultural trends into a television drama, fanfiction, a short story or other storytelling that did not exist at the time the story takes place.

Power of Realistic Fiction

Great storytelling takes work. Even if you’re a writer who can knock out an engaging story absent an outline or character sketches, it takes time, focus and skill to write a story that resonates with hundreds or thousands of book buyers. For starters, you’ve got to appeal to each book buyer’s interests, ambitions, passions and fears.

Even if you write science fiction books, you have to create such believable characters that readers perceive the characters to be real. Readers have to believe that the story could happen, even if the story takes place on another planet.

And yet, the story has to have practical elements. Readers need to believe that your characters’ motives, weaknesses, strengths and personality traits are relatable. Whether you’re writing a novel, a stage play, major motion picture script or television drama, make sure that your characters use common sense. After all, if you’re a skilled writer, people could think that the choices your characters make really are the best options.

Protect Yourself from Burnout

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By Books Writer Denise Turney

Burnout is on the rise. Even if you’ve heard about it on the news, you might not know you’re nearing exhaustion. Surprisingly, as bad as it feels, burnout can sneak up on you. To begin, there’s the seasonal change adjustments that you may be experiencing, depending on the part of the world you live in. These seasonal changes can zap your energy. With the autumn seasonal change comes less sunlight, cooler temperatures and more time spent indoors.

Reaching Burnout Point

Exposure to less sunlight can cause drops in serotonin, a natural mood booster. Low serotonin could bring on depression, Healthline shares. Also, getting outdoors is a good way to soak up natural vitamin D from the sun. In addition to being good for bones, vitamin D may also help with mental focus and mood. Days with less sunlight might make it easier to reach a burnout point.

Furthermore, if you’re challenged with seasonal affective disorder, you already know how tough it can be to shift gears. You might not know what’s happening to you yet, although you’ve felt sluggish and less energetic at the start of autumn for years. Despite your efforts to push through the sluggishness and lower energy levels, this nagging fatigue remains.

This could happen whether you’re a resilient practitioner, a frontline worker whose empathy and compassion are sought by those battling illness, including COVID-19. It could also happen if you’re a new mom or an experienced mother dealing with motherhood burnout. Fortunately, there is help. It is possible to become someone who has survived burnout.

Surviving Burnout

A first step toward surviving burnout and overcoming the challenge is to recognize signs of burnout. This includes work stress symptoms. To start surviving burnout, check out these symptoms. Although the list is not all inclusive, it could signal to you that it’s time to take action. After you review the burnout symptoms, keep reading to learn about treatment.

  • Lack of or diminished motivation (especially if there’s seemingly no cause for the lower motivation)
  • Regular fatigue (the fatigue may not be constant – but regular enough to get your attention)
  • Exhaustion
  • Experiencing irritability, impatience and cynicism
  • Frequently strained relationships
  • Seeking food or drinks to fill perceived inner voids
  • Turning to food or beverages to lift mood
  • Poor sleeping patterns
  • Difficulty staying mentally focused
  • Forgetfulness
  • Increased body aches (which may be caused by higher levels of cortisol)
  • Sudden, unexplained weight gain or weight loss

Additionally, work stress burnout could find you constantly checking emails. As much as you may want to unplug, you could shift into workaholic mode. This could keep the cycle going.

More Signs You Need to Take Action to Protect Yourself from Burnout

According to the Mayo Clinic, other signs you may be reaching burnout point, especially at work, include:

  • Being overly critical of yourself or others at work
  • Feeling disillusioned about the work you do
  • Headaches
  • Stomachaches
  • Feeling that you have a lack of input or control over your work life

Of course, in addition to these systems, you might experience general burnout systems. Regardless of why you are experiencing burnout, it’s important to acknowledge that something has changed.

As a tip, try to do this without blaming yourself or someone else. Tempting as it may seem, blame doesn’t solve problems. In fact, it could leave you feeling disempowered. Therefore, if you’ve reached your burnout point, acknowledge that you have.

Help For Burnout

And seek help. You could work with a burnout recovery coach. Other actions that may help with surviving and overcoming burnout include:

  • Meditating
  • Walking in nature (in safe environments)
  • Talking face-to-face with a friend
  • Setting a time to unplug from work, social media, etc.
  • Turning off the news
  • Getting adequate sleep
  • Listening to relaxing music that you love
  • Reading books that help you to unplug and relax
  • Writing in a journal
  • Flexing your creative muscles while adding color to the pages of an adult coloring book

Take the supportive action that feels right for you.

Furthermore, you may sleep better if you go to bed at a set time. You may also find it beneficial to wear a fitness watch to bed. This way, you could track how much deep sleep you’re getting at night.

Ways to Protect Yourself from Burnout

And, if you’re having trouble getting or staying asleep, you could stop drinking water an hour or more before you head to bed. You could also try sitting down and relaxing for an hour before you go to bed. Should there be something on your mind, try jotting down a note on what you’re going to do to deal with the issue in the morning. Then, release the issue and relax.

Here are more ways that you could start surviving burnout. To get good results, you may have to incorporate two or more activities into your day. For example, if you deal with seasonal affective disorder, you might use a full spectrum lamp, walk outside for an hour a day and meditate for 5 to 10 minutes before you go to bed.

Practicing awareness could help you to spot your personal burnout, the secret to unlocking the stress cycle. For instance, you may find that you start nearing your burnout point at the beginning of certain seasonal changes. Or you might notice that, for you, the stress cycle that can lead to burnout starts after you take on a major project or commit to leading a big family event.

Moving Beyond Burnout

Caring for a loved one for 30 or more days without a full day’s break, could be another way the stress cycle kicks off for you. Try to catch yourself early. Spot stressors and signs that you’re headed in the wrong direction early. In other words, get to know yourself.

Consider taking vitamin D if you live in an area with low sunlight. Check with your physician to see if that may be a viable solution. Also, pay attention to when you feel more stressed. For instance, do you feel more stressed in the morning or in the evening? Are you feeling more burned out during certain work cycles on your job?

In the remote work from home environment, you may find it helpful to step away from some Zoom meetings. That way, you won’t feel forced to sit in front of a computer screen for hours. For example, you could ask your supervisor if it’s okay if you dial into a meeting instead of using video to connect to the conference call.

And seek help if needed. If you work for an employer, check with human resources to see if there’s free counseling offered by the firm. Other options include joining a support group. Also, be patient with yourself. It may have taken months to become burned out. Give yourself love, care and the time to bounce back and move beyond burnout.

Trust the Process to Live Your Best Life

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By African American Author Denise Turney

lighthouse offering light by water as part of trust the process
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Examine your beliefs to live your best life. Beliefs benefit or hinder. In this world, what beliefs don’t do is go away. In fact, wise thoughts may be the greatest investments you can make. Plainly stated, beliefs are thoughts that have been repeated so often you perceive the thoughts to be true, as if they are fact, as if they cannot be examined or changed.

Notice Beliefs that Hinder Your Ability to Live Your Best Life

Of course, it’s your own beliefs that impact you most. As simple as this sounds, it’s not always easy to accept. It’s so much easier to blame feeling stuck, confused or frustrated on another person’s choices, another person’s beliefs.

Based on personal experience, one way out of this trap is to start paying attention to what’s happening around you. This isn’t a tactic to recall every unwanted experience that you have. Instead, it’s an exercise to see how your thoughts, especially your beliefs, link up to your experiences.

And it may take months before you start to see the links. You may not want to hear this. But it could be even longer before you accept the experiences that your thoughts, your beliefs, are making. Please be patient with yourself. It can take a while to get off track, and sometimes just as long to get back on track.

Patience, Acceptance and Awareness Pay Off

So, be patient with yourself. The process is worth it.

Before you start paying attention to what’s happening and how it links to your beliefs, it’s important to know that you don’t have to believe your thoughts create your reality for your thoughts to work, creating desired and undesired experiences for you. In fact, you may have invested in beliefs that you are incomplete, incompetent or, in some other way lacking, without realizing it.

Those beliefs are working beneath the surface. They are creating experiences for you. That’s why it’s important to pay attention so, you can spot thoughts that need changing.

Searching for someone else to blame won’t change your thoughts. Your parents, grandparents, teachers and neighbors may have called you names and told you what you were and were not capable of. But if someone called you a dog that doesn’t mean that you’d bark.

Live Your Best Life Root Experiences

Why? You know you’re not a dog. And you’ve never believed or thought you were a dog. So, you don’t behave like a dog.

Which again shows that your thoughts and beliefs are churning out experiences for you. Those erroneous beliefs can make blocks of doubt, fear and resistance in your thought system. Before you know it, you’ve convinced yourself that you cannot do or have certain experiences. You’ve created inner resistance.

But, once you commit to change, you’ll start spotting the thought/experience links. And you’ll start accepting thoughts you need to stop and replace. After a while, you may see that the world is like an enormous classroom. Trust the process.

Trust The Process

As it regards trusting the process, Mulukan may know this as well as anyone and perhaps better than most. After all, Mulukan was born into a level of poverty that most will never deal with. By the world’s standards, Mulukan really should give up. But she keeps going.

And so should you. Stay open. Pay attention. Try different approaches. Follow inner promptings. Trust the process. And, trust that you really can and will examine erroneous beliefs until you see that they are illusions, until you decide to let them go into the nothingness that they came from. Illusions gone, all that remains is reality, all that remains is truth. And yours is an amazing truth – you’ll see.

You can read about Mulukan’s story in the book Long Walk Up.

Classic Fictional Breast Cancer Memoir Offers Hope

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By African American Author Denise Turney

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Photo by Ave Calvar Martinez on Pexels.com

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, a time of reflection for so many women. For other women and men, Breast Cancer Awareness Month is a time of sadness, regret and faith. As tough as dealing with breast cancer can be, there is hope. To start, the hope of being a breast cancer survivor is greater today than it was years ago.

Breast Cancer Awareness

Point of fact, five-year breast cancer survivor rates are at 99% if the cancer is localized. Relative survival rates are 90%, according to the American Cancer Society. From 1975 thru 1980, the survival rate hovered below 80%. Clearly, there have been improvements. Even more, as of 2020, regional breast cancer survival rates are at 85%, while the survival rate for women with distant breast cancer is at 27%. In the case of localized breast cancer, the disease is confined to the breasts.

If the cancer is regional, that means that it has spread from the breasts to nearby areas or the lymph nodes. Distant breast cancer occurs when the cancer spreads to other distant parts of the body like the liver or bones. Survival statistics for women with inflammatory or triple negative breast cancer may differ.

Statistics aside, it can be scary to think that you might have breast cancer. Add in cultural factors and it’s understandable why some women might prefer to skip going to the doctor just to avoid being told they have breast cancer. It may feel safer, more comfortable during the early years, to roll the dice (even if that’s really not what a woman wants to do).

Breast Cancer Awareness and Culture

As it regards cultural factors, Sisters Network shares that, as of 2019, African American women with breast cancer have a 42% higher chance of transitioning from the disease than their European sisters. Hispanic women have a lower chance of getting breast cancer than African American women or women of European descent. In fact, Hispanic women have about a 9.8% chance of developing breast cancer.

Yet, mortality rates for Hispanic women with breast cancer is high. Also, as of 2015, cancer (all forms included) was the leading cause of death of Hispanics living in America. Asian women’s breast cancer incidence rates are on par with Hispanic women living in the United States.

However, Native American or indigenous American women have lower rates. Risks of getting the disease and having to work to become a breast cancer survivor for Native American women is about 7%. More information on cultural and racial breast cancer awareness statistics can be found at The University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center.

Support Breast Cancer Awareness Discussion Groups

Whether you’re facing a breast cancer scare or have overcome gut wrenching challenges and become a breast cancer survivor, this is the month to celebrate. Even if you’ve received the unfortunate diagnosis, you now know where you have to focus your efforts to heal. And, if you are grieving the transition of a relative or friend due to breast cancer, you may be seeking understanding and support.

Hospitals and treatment centers host and sponsor breast cancer support groups. One of the greatest benefits that support group attendees receive is emotional support while dealing with a diagnosis, treatment and recovery. As a breast cancer survivor attending a support group, you might even develop a lifelong friendship with another group attendee. Check with local hospitals, treatment centers and libraries if you’re seeking a support group. Breast cancer awareness organizations may offer virtual support discussions as well. Get yourself the support that you need.

In addition to the above places, worship centers and community centers host breast cancer awareness events. These centers also host breast cancer awareness support groups. You may also find it helpful to wear breast cancer awareness bracelets or a breast cancer pink ribbon during October or throughout treatment. Reading a breast cancer memoir, including an uplifting fictional breast cancer memoir that’s rooted in real life events could also provide support.

Uplifting Fictional Breast Cancer Memoir

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There are several breast cancer memoir books, nonfictional and fictional, that could offer support, inspiration and comfort during this trying time. Portia is one of those classic fictional breast cancer memoir books that has empowered and encouraged women and their families. Portia has inspired many readers.

A daughter gifted her mother with a copy of Portia. After reading the fictional breast cancer memoir, the woman’s mother decided to fight. She decided to live. That’s the impact that a book can have on a reader, especially if the story creates a deep emotional connection between a reader and a character.

And it’s this that happens with Portia. Named after the story’s main character, Portia tells the story of a successful Chicago defense attorney who, after months of domestic abuse, has accepted that she has enough value to walk free of an abusive relationship. The choice unbinds her, setting her free so she can meet the romantic love of her life while attending an annual newspaper Christmas party.

Getting Help You Need

As if a mean twist of fate, after she meets her true love, she discovers that she has breast cancer. To get through the diagnosis, treatments and possibility that her physical experience may get cut short, Portia leans on the love of her family, her soul mate and her faith. She also has a strong breast cancer awareness support system. For Portia, this all happens at a time when breast cancer survival odds aren’t good.

But Portia survives. And it is my hope and prayer that you or your loved one become a breast cancer survivor, someone who thrives, living her fullest life! Path there may involve more than medicine, rest and cancer treatments.

Love Yourself No Matter What

Here are actions you could take to reduce breast cancer risks or overcome the disease. If the actions appear like too much at first glance, consider adding two to three actions to your lifestyle each month. Do what feels right for you.

  • Get outdoors and exercise daily in a safe environment
  • Maintain a healthy weight
  • Introduce relaxation techniques (e.g. meditation, swimming, soaking in a scented bath) into your day
  • Addresses stressors, working to reduce and remove them
  • Eliminate alcohol from your diet
  • Perform self breasts exams
  • Get annual mammograms
  • Eat a healthy balanced diet of fresh fruit and vegetables

Even more, it’s important that you be patient with yourself. Be patient with yourself if you’re undergoing treatments. Also, accept that you may experience fear around the diagnosis, treatments and lifestyle changes for months, perhaps years. Yet, just like Portia’s story, yours can and deserves a marvelous finish.