By Books Author Denise Turney

It takes courage to say, “I love you.” After all, love can feel like the most elusive thing in the world. Doesn’t matter how you define it. Finding this sweet truth, let alone keeping it, seems impossible.

Great Call for Joy

Yet could it be that love, also referred to as truth and joy, feels elusive because you search for it in time spaces that do not exist? Check this out. The great writer, Leo Tolstoy, shared that “Future love does not exist. Love is a present activity only. The man who does not manifest love in the present has not love.”

So, if you’re never present could you be missing joy’s splendor? And, more importantly, could you be missing evidence that demonstrates that you are worthy of love? Because isn’t that the thing? You want to feel and believe that you are loved.

Being present means you don’t give into temptations to try to live in the past or future. Mistakes, embarrassment, economic shifts and community and work demands can tempt you to dismiss the present. So too can investing too much time on social media, texting, watching TV and living in the virtual world.

Give and Receive

In the world, it’s almost as if the goal is to pull you out of the present. There’s this illusion that being present causes you to miss something. However, if you notice how much you miss by focusing on future or past events, you’ll see what a trick the illusion is.

Not being present while you’re with someone sends a message that the person doesn’t matter as much to you as a device you’re using or whatever else you’re investing attention in. Show someone you value them by being present with them.

Give them your attention, and your time. Keep at it and see if they don’t start to return your investment, putting aside their devices and being present while they’re with you. Let this happen and it won’t be with words, but instead with actions, that you tell someone you love them.

Great Ways to Say I Love You

When you give love, you receive it. That’s why valuing people and investing appreciation in them is so important, creating an ongoing cycle. Love may not appear as you imagine, but it’s there. If you’re giving it, there is no way it can be absent.

To start giving and receiving love, consider adding one or more of these great ways to say “I love you” to your daily actions. Many of these actions don’t involve talking:

• Visit friends and relatives. Don’t stop at telling people how much you care. Show up in people’s lives. Let them know they mean so much to you that you don’t want to go long without seeing them.
• Call friends regularly. Demonstrate that you value them to the point that you want to communicate with them frequently.
• Invite friends to lunch. Interrupt your routines so you can include friends in your day.
• Mail family and friends holiday cards, letters and vacation postcards.

Keep Expressing Appreciation

• Create and share hand crafted gifts. Add a note that expresses how much someone means to you.
• Enjoy walks and bike rides with people you appreciate.
• Write and share poems.
• Share holidays with people who you’re close to.
• Invite those you adore to your home. Focus on those people while they are in your space. This means you’re not surfing the Internet, texting or watching TV.
• Say “I love you”.
• Do at least three things a day that confirm value yourself
• Get outside and play with people you care about
• Laugh and have fun without worrying about what someone is thinking about you

Cause and Effect

Each time you love, you help someone to heal. Therefore, don’t just search for truth or joy. Give love. Also, accept that you are worth joy. You should be happy. In fact, you deserve it.

After all, if you’re giving love, you obviously have love inside of you. The aim is to share that goodness, expressing appreciation. Here’s to hoping this list of ways to say, “I love you!” make their way into your frequent communications.

And it’s probably not a stretch to believe that the people you appreciate and let know will demonstrate their appreciation for you as well. Keep the cycle going.