By Denise Turney
Presumably when most people hear that a parent abandoned or walked out and left their child, images of a father pop into their minds. However, as odd as it may sound, mothers also walk off and leave their children. Some mothers, like Raymond Clarke’s mother, leave their children early in their childs life. Akin to fathers, these mothers might not look back after they walk away.
When a Child’s Mother Walk Away
This unfortunate event can occur suddenly, without warning. When it does happen, neighbors, friends and extended family members get to see firsthand how important a mother is to a child. Some children who lose their mothers early might struggle to feel as if they are good enough, worth loving or safe in the world. These and other symptoms of growing up without a mother may reveal themselves subconsciously, going unnoticed by abandoned children for years.
Furthermore, mothers leave their children for a variety of reasons as reported in the July 9, 2009 Marie Claire “What Kind of Mother Leaves Her Kids” article. To be clear, in the article three women are interviewed; these women didn’t abandon their children as Raymond Clarke’s mother abandons him. Instead, they leave custody of their children to their ex-husbands. One mother in the article left her children after her marriage to the children’s father fell apart so she could live the life she wanted, something most people desire to do. She also wanted the emotional and psychological space to write a book about a child she and her ex-husband lost years earlier.
Another mother turned over custody to her ex-husband after struggling to make ends meet while her children lived with her. She has since reconsidered her decision, both her ex-husband and she deciding that their two youngest daughters would fare better if they lived with her. About the change, this mother expressed appreciation, stating that she felt an emptiness while her daughters were away from her.
Children Struggling to Find Their Way Absent Their Mothers
The third mother covered in the article, relinquished custody of her child after she got accepted to a prestigious university out of town. Each of these women maintained or continues to maintain regular contact with her children while their ex-husband’s have custody of them.
Those are the good stories. They are far removed from what children like Raymond have experienced. It’s children like Raymond who might internalize questions about their self-worth well into adulthood, some never getting the answers they spend years seeking consciously or subconsciously. Their struggles might often go unnoticed as they struggle to find their way in a world that showed itself to be unusually hard and cruel right from the start.
Yet, like Ohio’s Raymond Clarke, these children make it. They are heroines and heroes of sorts, ready to take on new challenges, ever hopeful that, the next time, things, for them, will turn out right.
Thank you for reading my blog. To learn what happens to Raymond, Brenda and the other characters in Love Pour Over Me, hop over to Amazon.com, B&N.com, Ebookit.com ($3.03 – lowest price I’ve found so far) and get your copy of Love Pour Over Me today. And again I say – Thank You! Consider Love.
Sources:
http://www.marieclaire.com/world-reports/news/mothers-giving-up-custody (Marie Claire: What Kind of Mother Leaves Her Kids)