A Life Filled With Sweet Love Notes

By Books Author Denise Turney

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Romance is delightful, intoxicating. When enhanced with sweet love poems, romantic cards and sharing, it can mirror your worth back to you. This could be why, at the start of romance, this world can seem nearly perfect. You might believe that you and your lover can get through any challenge as long as you have each other. Admittedly, it’s during these early days that romance can be empowering.

Stay in Awe to Create Sweet Love Notes

But how do you hold onto emotions that flood early romance after you’re two or more years into a relationship? How do you keep romantic relationships as pleasurable as sweet love notes, preventing the relationship from taking on staleness?

A good start is to practice being in awe of everything around you. As an example, you could pay attention to birds fluttering their wings outside your home or on the path that you walk.

Try to hear the sound of water bubbling as it fills your sink or tub. See if you can create a song, using the sound of your washing machine or dryer as background music. Simply let yourself be fascinated and in awe of what’s happening around you.

Establishing Good Habits That Support Sweet Love Notes

As you practice being in awe of your experiences, let that spirit of awe inspire you toward greater appreciation. The more you appreciate what happens to and around you, the more you may appreciate your romantic partner. Then, express your appreciation by surprising your partner with short love notes and romantic cards.

Keep it up. Let sharing sweet love notes with your partner become a habit. When this occurs, your brain may signal you to enter states of appreciation when your lover wakes, smiles, holds your hand or shares a funny joke.

As rewarding as this can be, there may be a more empowering act that you could take to keep your romantic relationship vibrant. And that is to commit to helping your partner to awaken. Make yourself a top priority when it comes to awakening too!

Timeless Sweet Love Notes – Inspire Inner Awakening

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For instance, your partner and you could encourage each other to meditate, notice life’s wonder, try new things, have more fun and laugh more.

Here are more actions that may inspire inner awakening. The first action deals with how you kick off your day. To begin, start your day with thanksgiving. You could raise your hands and simply say, “Thank you for the opportunity to step into new, surprising love-filled experiences.” Other actions include:

  • Sit still for 5 to 15 minutes in the morning and before you go to bed
  • Journal – Write in a daily journal. Also, write when you experience strong emotions like excitement, nervousness, fear or joy. Even more, you could journal about times when you feel love moving between you and your partner.
  • Choose a romantic partner who takes full responsibility for their self. Should this occur, your partner won’t hold you responsible for how they feel, think or behave. Talk about sweet love notes, no more being held responsible for another person.

More Ways to Inspire Inner Awakening as Sweet Love Notes

  • Pick a partner who practices self-love, is not violent verbally, physically, financially, emotionally or mentally. You want to hook up with someone who’s healthy and committed to walking in love, sharing their life with you as if they were giving you sweet love notes.
  • Take relaxing walks with your partner. It’s amazing what being outside does to your energy. It’s a good way to experience awe about what’s happening around you with your lover. That alone could make daily walks romantic gifts.
  • Attend a spiritual retreat with your partner. At night during the retreat, write and share short love poems.
  • Soak in a warm, relaxing bath that has a gently scented aromatherapy foam.
  • Live in the present – looking for things that fill you with awe is an easy way to do this
  • Read romance novels out loud with your partner.

Stay Open

Stay open. Accept that you don’t know everything about your partner. This can help you to receive everyday actions like washing the dishes, caring for the children, cleaning the sink or folding laundry as if you’d just received sweet love notes.

Regarding simple actions that feel like you received sweet love notes, there’s the energy booster, otherwise known was “decluttering”. Yes. Decluttering your living space supports openness. It’s about opening up and letting go.

Instead of buying more clothes, shoes, appliances or electronic gadgets, you could upgrade or exchange products. Considering that money is a leading cause of relationship breakups, de-cluttering comes with benefits. It can free your energy and your finances.

Living a Life Filled with Sweet Love Notes Is an Ongoing Practice

Even more, it may train your brain to spot habits that are cluttering your romantic relationship. As an example, you might notice that you search for a personality trait or habit (chin rubbing, frequent yawning at night, etc.) that your partner engages in that you let irritate you.

The next time this happens, try to find something about the habit that makes you smile or laugh. It might take several tries, but if you really want to, you could do it.

Above all, aim for spiritual awakening. Become more aware of your thoughts and how they are shaping your experiences and emotions. Catch yourself if you enter a spiral of criticizing your lover. The more awakened you are, the easier it is to share sweet love notes.

Awakening or becoming who you truly are, is all about love.

Healing Support for Overcoming a Sad Childhood

By Books Author Denise Turney

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You’re not alone if you suffered through a sad childhood. Even if you grew up as an only child, a journey that can prove hard while living with unforgiving parents, you’re not alone. Tragically, millions of adults are seeking healing support for overcoming a sad childhood. Although it may not provide sufficient solace, it can be comforting to know that you are not alone. Furthermore, it may prove empowering to know that you can start overcoming childhood programming and live a good life.

Acknowledge What Happened To You

A first step is to acknowledge that your home-based early childhood curriculum was wrong. Concerning home-based early childhood curriculum, this refers to what you were told about yourself when you were a child. Other elements that it encompasses include responses that you received when you felt that you succeeded and responses that you received when you felt that you messed up or failed. Each of these elements contributes to early childhood programming.

Although it might feel good to hear that it’s easy to become someone who overcame poor childhood programming, overcoming a sad childhood can take decades. The key is to get started. Fortunately, tools exist that can help you get to the core of the problem and start overcoming bad childhood programming today.

Techniques For A Better Life

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For example, there’s the Morty Lefkoe Technique. Many of the shorter techniques are free and can be practiced in the privacy of your home. Other techniques may require the experienced support of a professional familiar with the Morty Lefkoe Technique. The UNPL Center also offers techniques for overcoming errors in childhood programming. Then, there are licensed clinical psychotherapists who can help you start overcoming a sad childhood and get on the path to living a good life.

But, first do your homework and check out techniques and professionals that you’re thinking about working with. You want to have a good, trustworthy connection with a mentor, clinician or therapist. Consider avoiding people you feel intimated by, afraid of or in awe of. After all, we all (including therapists and clinicians) are working our way through this world. If you’re afraid of a therapist or intimidated by a clinician, it could be a sign that something is amiss.

Facing The Past To Experience A Better Now

More steps that you can take are to acknowledge what you are feeling. Also, acknowledge what happened to you. Here are a few ways that might make the process easier:

  • Write in a journal. This is long hand writing, the type of writing kids used to do in elementary and middle school. Keep your journal in a private place if you’re not ready for someone to read your private thoughts.
  • Type how you’re feeling about experiences that are similar to painful and happy childhood experiences. Do this for a year and notice how you’ve progressed (even when you thought that you weren’t advancing).
  • Enjoy a nature walk outdoors in a safe place. While you’re walking, talk out loud about your experiences and how you have started overcoming those experiences. Do this in a safe place so you’re not overheard. Or, you could simply keep the volume in your voice down.
  • Join a support group that includes people who’ve experienced similar childhood traumas and stress like you did. Share at your own pace. Don’t feel forced to share more than you feel comfortable sharing. In fact, during the first few support group sessions, you might not say much at all. Just be open to sharing.

Getting Your Perceived Needs Met

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Additional keys to overcoming a sad childhood are to honor your feelings and your perceived needs. For instance, you may have had one or more absent parents. This situation could have left you to fend for yourself as a child and/or found you responsible for taking care of not only yourself but one or more siblings.

Should this be the case, you might believe that you don’t deserve to be heard, paid attention to or cared for. Instead, you might think it’s your life responsibility to always take care of someone else. Acknowledge that you feel you don’t deserve to have your needs met. Then, identify the needs that you do feel you have and start taking steps to meet those needs.

More Ways To Become An Overcomer

There are even more keys to overcoming a sad childhood. Here are some of those other keys:

  • Write down your achievements – This may sound easy, but if you’ve been in the habit of degrading yourself, it may take patience to make this a habit. Keep in mind that this is not about bragging or boasting. Plus, you’ll be writing these achievements for your eyes only. It’s a way to start letting you recognize just how much good you bring to the universe.
  • Set clear boundaries – Free yourself from thinking that it’s your job to take care of other adults, fulfill every request that’s made of you or ensure every project turns out right.
  • Talk to yourself with love – Make daily affirmations for success a part of your day. But don’t just repeat daily affirmations for success, slowly say daily affirmations for success and give yourself time to soak in the words. Truly allow yourself to feel and believe what you’re saying.
  • Keep it going – Throughout the day, continue to talk to yourself in loving ways.
  • Practice patience – Be patient with yourself. Loving yourself may be a new venture for you. Give yourself time to adjust and keep adding more steps and actions to this wonderful life of “you loving you”.

Prove That You Love Yourself

Also, engage in three or more activities that you love each day. In other words, if you say that you love yourself – prove it! Prove that you love yourself by being patient, kind, generous, compassionate and gracious with yourself.

This is an ongoing process. In fact, it’s part of a journey that could go on for decades. However, you should see advancements, good results. And, should you experience setbacks, continue to be patient and loving with yourself. Part of this includes only allowing people who love and genuinely care for you into your inner circle. After all, the way that you allow others to talk to you and treat you is a sign of how you talk to and treat yourself.

Rooting for you, as I’m on this path too. Keep going as Raymond does in Love Pour Over Me. In reference to books, you could add happiness self improvement books to your collection. Another step that you could take is to start working with a self reflection planner. Track your progress. Celebrate your successes!

How to Adjust to Change with Grace and Goodness

By Books Author Denise Turney

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Don’t you think it’s time to adjust to change with grace? After all, looking at approaching change through the lens of goodness could prepare you for real success.

Albert Einstein is quoted as sharing, “The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.” This world will give you lots of practice at adjusting to change, whether or not you cause the shift. Change is certain. If you pause and consider it, you’ll see that change happens all the time in this world. But here’s the thing. You’re experiencing change even if your body’s eyes can’t see it. Those pimples, wrinkles, expanding chests, grey hairs and achy joints that reveal themselves during adulthood don’t just show up.

Adjust To These Changes

Akin to a seed germinating underground, changes occur while it seems like nothing is shifting. You don’t have to be obsessed about your physical appearance to be shaken when your hair grays, you spot pimples on your face, you gain weight, your voice deepens or your skin starts to sag. Even absent bodily obsession, you’ll have to adjust to these changes.

And, it might not always be easy. As a first step, consider how you felt, thought and behaved before you knew that change was happening. Did you experience fear? Were you struggling with hopelessness, anger or stress? Or were you going about your days as if nothing new was up?

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Raising this point to show that change may not be what shakes you. After all, if you don’t get upset while the seed is germinating (in the process of creating great change), could it really be the revelation (actually becoming aware of the change that was taking place below the surface) that spins you into fear, excitement, depression, anger or hopefulness?

Spot the Humor in Change

So, consider what may really be causing upset that you experience. To adjust to change, also accept what has occurred. This applies whether you’re experiencing change due to an organizational realignment at work, a home move, becoming a parent, getting married or aging. Encourage yourself with the truth that you can adapt to the change.

As Harvard Business Review shares, also spot the humor in the shift. Specifically, “Trying to find a funny moment during an otherwise unfunny situation can be a fantastic way to create the levity needed to see a vexing problem from a new perspective.” Even more, sometimes looking for humor in the change helps others to feel better about the change too.

Seek Good Solutions

Next, seek solutions. For example, you might set aside time to review what caused the change if the change produced negative results. Following that, you could start writing down actions that you could take to avoid experiencing or causing a similar outcome again.

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Of course, the same applies if the change is good and you want to repeat it. What you don’t want to do is focus tirelessly on emotions that you experienced after you noticed the change. In fact, Harvard Business Review shares that, “research shows that actively and repeatedly broadcasting negative emotions hinders our natural adaptation processes.”

On the other hand, don’t dismiss emotions. Talk about what you’re feeling. Just don’t stop there. Map out specific actions that you will take to enjoy experiences that you truly want. These are experiences that cause you to feel peace, loved and joy.

What You Can Do

And, take account of what you can do. Spending too much time being upset that someone else hasn’t changed or being upset about an organizational, family, community or cultural shift could cause you to feel stuck. It could also take your sight off of the most important factor, the most vital key, in your environment – YOU. Leo Tolstoy said it well when he said, “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” 

To adjust to change with grace and goodness, accept that any type of change could create stress. This happens, in part, because change can shift your perception of who or what you are? Depending on the change, it could also shift what you had long believed that you were capable of.

There are also times when change shifts what you had long believed that you wanted to do with your life. In those instances, change can feel like a loss. It could feel like you have to start over, building anew. This raises another way to adjust to change with grace and goodness.

Build and Strengthen Confidence

Build and strengthen your confidence. You can do this by practicing daily self-love techniques. Make it a daily practice to do what it takes to prove that you do, in fact, love yourself. As mentioned in the book, Awaken Blessings of Inner Love: Shortcuts to Self-Love and Success In A Busy World, proving that you love yourself (only you can do this), is a great confidence booster.

Confidence works like a good energy. It fuels your efforts to do what it takes to move toward good change. While you’re adapting to change, keep anchors in your life. Anchors are activities that you do each day. Examples of anchors include meditating in the morning, going for a walk outside during midday and reading a good book in the evening.

Psychology Today shares, “The more change that is happening, the more important it is to stick to your regular schedule—as much as possible. Having some things that stay the same, like walking the dog every morning at 8 am, gives us an anchor.”

Shift Away from Trying to Figure Things Out

Writing in a journal can also help you to adapt to change. Why? While writing, you can increase neural activity in your brain. It’s also important to get enough exercise, drink plenty of fresh water and eat a healthy, balanced diet.

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Also, take breaks and set times when you free yourself from worrying or trying to figure things out. For instance, you could tell yourself that you won’t try to figure out how you’re going to complete a rush project after 6pm each day. Top it off by telling yourself that you won’t focus on the project one entire day during the weekend.

Should you start to drift into worrying about the project, remind yourself of your promise and stop. Instead, focus on three things that you are thankful for. Write someone an appreciation note. Call a friend. Play with a pet. There are boundless things that you can do in place of worrying.

Adjust to Change with Grace and Goodness

As you adjust to change with grace and goodness, it may also help to read life changing quotes about change. See if these resonate with you.

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” -Maya Angelou and “I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” -Jimmy Dean. Finally, consider, The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new” -Socrates

Let’s Talk About the Path to Healthy Mental Discipline

By Writer and Freelancer Author Denise Turney

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Your happiness is linked to healthy mental discipline. Spend one day ruminating and you know how fast you can seemingly lose control of your thoughts. Before you know it, you’re doing more than thinking about a deadline, situation or project. You’re replaying a conversation or upcoming event over and over in your head. And getting back on track is not as easy as just thinking happy thoughts.

Healthy Mental Discipline – Keep Your Thoughts from Holding You Hostage

To keep your thoughts from holding you hostage, you need to discipline your mind. Start small. Choose a school assignment, work project or relationship situation that doesn’t trigger anxiety, fear, anger or distrust. Set a day and time that you will think about this school assignment, work project or relationship situation. As an example, you could set aside 15 minutes on Monday at 12 noon to think about how you’re going to apologize to your sister for dropping your kids off at her apartment last Saturday with no notice and not returning to pick your kids up for four hours.

Or, you could spend 15 minutes on a Friday morning mapping out how you will prepare for a 45 minute presentation that you’re slated to give in a month. To stay free of rumination, stick to the time limit that you set and definitely limit this time to no more than 30 minutes. Remember. You’re setting the date and the time when you’ll invest energy on the topic. As you become more experienced at living with a disciplined mind, you could invest the majority of your mental energy on what is occurring right now, rather than focusing on past or future events.

Also, as Forbes shares, to develop a disciplined mind, get rid of temptations. Ways to pull this off include turning off your computer at 5pm, 6pm or a set time each night. Once you shut down your computer, stop thinking about work. If you don’t explore the disciplined mind path, you could physically leave work but remain at work mentally all day and all night.

Stop Ruminating and Gain Healthy Mental Discipline

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You could even ruminate about work on weekends, holidays and vacations. There may be fewer easier ways to stumble into burnout. So, engage the disciplined mind and set healthy limits. Remove temptations in order to make it easier to make smart decisions.

Another way to discipline your mind is to start breaking up a few of your routines. Breaking routines is a great way to get your brain off autopilot. Dangers of your brain being on autopilot include slipping into bias, missing data that you could use to make good decisions and getting into accidents. Keeping your brain on autopilot could also cause you to slip into mental, dietary and lifestyle ruts.

Breaking Mental Patterns

Now, imagine that your brain’s autopilot behavior included looping thoughts, where you repeat anxious thoughts over and over, similar to playing a record again and again. When it comes to finding happiness, that’s a mental pattern to break. Here are ways to get your brain off autopilot:

  • Eat a different healthy food for breakfast.
  • Get out of bed an hour earlier than normal. To avoid cutting back on sleep, go to bed an hour earlier.
  • Shampoo and condition your hair at night instead of in the morning.
  • Sleep with your head at the foot of the bed for several nights.
  • Sing a song first thing in the morning, even before you eat breakfast or brush your teeth.
  • Breathe deeply five times before you engage in an angry or fear-based conversation.

Another way to get your brain off autopilot is to write in a journal about a situation that you’ve been ruminating about. Actually, write down the specifics of the situation. Write about how you felt before, during and after the situation. Psychology Today shares that you also benefit from writing about what you learned from the situation.

Focus On What’s Happening

The key is to focus on what is happening. Start taking in data and new information that you may have been excluding while your brain was on autopilot. Other small actions that you could take to discipline your mind are to do three loving things for yourself each day.

And forgive yourself for mistakes that you’ve made and have yet to forgive yourself for or let go of. After all, forgiveness is a key part of the disciplined mind. That includes asking forgiveness of other people who you mistreated in word or deed.

Forgive once and you may come to know how freeing that choice is. Forgiveness frees up your energy. It removes the energy and mental space needed to “hide”. As a tip, forgiveness is an action that you may have to practice repeatedly over the course of your life’s journey.

But, when you experience the benefits of releasing energy that you’ve been spending to “hide” a memory, you may become eager to forgive others and yourself. It really is freeing.

Practice Forgiveness to Gain Healthy Mental Discipline

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While you practice forgiveness and break routines to get your brain off autopilot, explore new hobbies and activities to engage in. Traveling, taking a free or low cost community college course or joining a professional discussion group are ways to explore new activities. This is important because your brain is going to seek out new mental investments.

Throughout the day also take breaks. Treat your mind to rest intervals throughout the day. Should your mind work like mine, this may take a bit of practice. The key is to get started. The three loving acts that you engage in each day may prove to you that you’re loved and worth loving.

You’ve got it. Healthy mental discipline isn’t a one and done effort. Practice self-awareness to stay on course. However, for self-awareness to work you have to be honest. This means that you disallow yourself to engage in rationalization when it comes to getting to the core of why you made a mistake or mistreated someone, including yourself.

Path Of Healthy Mental Discipline

Instead of rationalizing, become aware of your emotions, thoughts and your behavior. Become aware of how you treat yourself and how you let other people treat you. In fact, you could come to see the way that you allow others to treat you as an extension of how you are indirectly treating yourself.

Even if it doesn’t appear to be, the way that you treat yourself and the way that you allow others to treat you is part of mental discipline. So, treat yourself to three things that you love each day, forgive, break a few routines and practice self-awareness to enjoy living on the path of healthy mental discipline.

Why It’s Important to Change Your Plans, But Keep Your Goals

By African American Books Author Denise Turney

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Name one thing that feels better than achieving goals that you set for yourself. Really. Don’t you feel good when you get what you want? Celebrate your accomplishments. Acknowledge what you’ve experienced. What you might not see now is that, at some point to sustain success, you may have to change your plans, but keep your goals.

It’s worth it, because you want to feel joy. Heck. The reason that you even want to get or experience anything is because you think that the experience will make you feel good. Yet, fulfilling your goals can take work – lots of work. I’m talking working 10 to 14 hours a day six days a week. Admittedly, it may not feel that way when you start. But keep going.

Set Big Goals

If you don’t abandon your goals (and, I hope you don’t), you’ll come to see that there are a lot of twists, turns, bumps and lessons to learn ahead. These twists, turns, bumps and failures can knock the wind out of you. This may happen if you lose sight of the goal. It can also happen for other reasons, two which are covered in this article.

Before covering why pursuing what you really want could become exhausting (and sharing ways to avoid getting side swiped with frustration and fatigue while you pursue your goals), let’s discuss ways to keep your goals on track. This switch could make the difference between progress and giving up.

Sharing personal details with you, when looking back over my writing career, it’s obvious that, to keep advancing, I’ve had to change my plans. And, I’m not talking about just changing my plans once. I’ve had to change my plans too many times to count.

Don’t Overlook This

To keep moving forward, another thing that I’ve had to do is to celebrate the fulfillment of small goals. What I didn’t do was change the goal. But, how can you keep the same goal when nothing that you’re doing yields results that bring you closer to that goal?

Even more, how can you stay encouraged while pursuing the same goal over a long stretch, maybe over years? For starters, set big goals. For instance, if the goal is to launch your own organic skin care product line, you could set big goals to identify, secure and open a manufacturing warehouse. Another big goal could be to land in-store agreements with the top 10 beauty stores.

Keep Goals On Track

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Follow this goal up with the goal to generate more than $100,000 a month in sales. To keep your goals on track, set small goals. Taking the beauty products example, small goals could be to:

  • Create your first skincare product
  • Identify a name for your new product, and trademark that name and product ingredients
  • Set up meetings with beauty product buyers at three different stores each week
  • Develop a product proposal (you’ll use the proposal to negotiate large store sales)
  • Reach out to 3 organizers of health and beauty events a day and schedule time to discuss sponsorships, keynote speaking and vending opportunities
  • Contact a commercial real estate agent and start getting prices, availability by square footage, etc. for floor space that you could use to manufacture your skincare products

Use A Goal Planner as you Change Your Plans, But Keep Your Goals

When you set big goals, you keep the carrot in front of the horse, so to speak. Big goals keep you motivated. They give you something to keep targeting. Small goals increase your belief. Each time that you achieve a small goal, acknowledge what you’ve done.

Sound like a lightweight deliverable? Please don’t receive it that way. Instead of dismissing or overlooking small goals that you fulfill, celebrate these successes. Looking for celebration ideas? How about traveling to the beach and staying at a bed and breakfast for the weekend. Or, you could order yourself a bouquet of flowers, treat yourself to a live stage play or enjoy a meal at your favorite restaurant.

The key is to acknowledge each of your successes. Another way to stay on track is to use a goal planner. For example, when I’m developing a new novel and marketing my existing books, I fill out a weekly goal sheet. My weekly goal sheet is a running goal tracker.

Consider Weekly Goal Sheet After You Change Your Plans, But Keep Your Goals

On my weekly goal sheet, I track when I write on my new novel. Better yet, I track the names of book bloggers, radio show hosts, literary newsletter owners, etc. who I contact each week. Using this type of goal planner keeps me honest. It keeps me from thinking that I’ve done more or less writing and book marketing than I actually have.

You’re going to need these intermediate successes. Why? Should you set big goals, it could be years before you achieve even one of those big goals. Wait years to acknowledge your progress and one unexpected setback could derail you.

So, celebrate forward steps.

Now, this next part you may not like. If you’re like me, you probably make plans. For instance, you might plan what you’re going to do over the weekend. Furthermore, you might plan your vacations, holiday events and how you will achieve your small goals and larger goals.

Change Your Plans, But Keep Your Goals

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Sounds simple until you consider how many times your plans have had to be changed. Weather, health challenges, finances, relationship changes and other demands can easily change your plans. Therefore, to keep progressing toward the fulfillment of your big goals, be flexible.

Here are ways that you could have to change your plans:

  • Adjust your budget to meet marketing or advertising goals
  • Review marketing and advertising analytics, eliminating, reducing or increasing spend levels in smart ways
  • Transition virtual prospecting events to in-person meetings or vice versa
  • Reduce work hours from 10 hours a day to 6 hours a day for three months to avoid burnout
  • Partner with a new social media marketing company if the current company that you work with isn’t helping you to generate more sales
  • Enhance podcast interviews with offline radio and television interviews
  • Replace giveaways with 50% off products
  • Develop new products to keep interest in your company high
  • Relocate your brick-and-mortar office to a new, more profitable location
  • Conduct sales calls on Tuesday and Thursday instead of Monday and Friday
  • Co-partner with another business to introduce your products to new customers
  • Get relevant certificates to increase trust in your offerings
  • Redesign your company logo and brand colors

A Word Of Encouragement

In closing, set big goals to stay motivated. Add small goals in between your larger goals. But, make sure that all of your small goals lead you closer and closer to your big goals. And, celebrate when you achieve those small goals.

More importantly, remain flexible. Life is fluid, constantly in motion. There’s no way that you can see every shift that you’ll have to deal with. For that reason, be willing to change your plans that are connected to achieving your goals. Just don’t change your goals. Keep aiming toward your small goals and your big goals, all while you adjust your plans as needed.

How to Change Your Mind So You Can Change Your Life

By Books Author Denise Turney

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It sounds too simple. Change your mind and you will change your life. Just the words sound so simple, it’s hard to believe that thinking differently could actually create new experiences. Yet, if you consider how your mood shifts as your focus alters, you may start to see the connection between thoughts and experience. But how do you change your mind?

Change Your Mind – Linking Thoughts and Experiences

Admittedly, it’s not a straight line and it doesn’t happen absent awareness and honesty. Even more, changing your mind gets harder if you engage in habitual thinking or repetitive emotional states. For example, if you focus on work as soon as you wake in the morning, you might teach your brain to feel stressed or overwhelmed early in the day.

If you don’t practice awareness, the next step you take might see you aligning strong emotions to specific days of the week, times of the day, people or places. Should this happen, you could convince yourself that Mondays are challenging, that long vacations are bad and that your in-laws are mean people. That’s how easy it is to train your brain to link emotions and people, places, days and experiences.

Here’s more. The University of Minnesota shares that, “Thoughts are mental cognitions—our ideas, opinions, and beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. They include the perspectives we bring to any situation or experience that color our point of view (for better, worse, or neutral).” Furthermore, it’s shared that, “if you are aware of your thoughts and attitudes, you can choose to change them.”

Stop Habitual Thinking and Repetitive Emotional States

So, how do you stop habitual thinking and repetitive emotional states? For starters, stop being afraid of yourself. Stop letting your thoughts scare you. To do this, sit and honestly watch what you’re thinking.

As you observe your thoughts say, “I seem to be thinking about.” Clearly state the thoughts that are passing through your mind. For example, you could say, “I seem to be thinking about paying the rent. I seem to be thinking about mowing the lawn. I seem to be thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend.”

Let the thoughts pass, observing them as if they are no more than clouds floating across the sky. Notice if your emotional state isn’t starting to calm.

Do this for one to two weeks, investing two to three minutes in each sitting.

Then, observe your thoughts for up to three minutes. Afterward, repeat a positive statement about yourself and what you really want. An example could find you saying, “I am the Creator’s holy daughter. I am a limitless being, created to do great things. I am living in peace and joy, filled with love and managing a successful five-star restaurant.” These simple acts are effective ways to change your mind.

Reward Yourself When You Change Your Mind

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Rewards for changing your mind don’t generally just show up. In fact, it could take up to 30 days to shift, to start witnessing an external payoff. To notice the rewards, get clear about what you want.

In other words, discover your destiny. To do this, think about what consistently causes you to feel joy and peace. Also, write down activities that motivate you toward positive action. These activities come with their own built-in motivators.

Examples of these activities include singing, wood carving, painting, teaching, public speaking and conducting research. For me, it’s writing novels.

Your passions are linked to your destiny. To discover your destiny, you may have to spend 20 minutes a day meditating or quieting your mind. It’s so worth it.

Why Discovering Your Destiny Is Important

Why? Once you discover your destiny, the rewards of doing what it takes to change your mind become powerful motivators. More reasons to discover your destiny include:

  • Fulfilling your destiny brings you joy – Your destiny is not a burden. Joy, peace and love are hallmarks of destiny living.
  • Revisit your childhood – Remember what you loved to do when you were a kid. When you discover your destiny, you can let your inner child play, explore and thrive.
  • Removes confusion – Discovering your destiny gives your life an anchor, removing confusion about why you are here.
  • Direction – Although it could take years to fulfill your destiny, once you discover what your destiny is, it may be easier to know what to do next.
  • Purpose – Knowing what your destiny is gives your life a powerful feeling of purpose.

Change Your Mind to Interrupt Limiting Thoughts

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Another benefit of discovering your destiny has to do with limiting thoughts. Despite your best efforts, there may be times when you doubt yourself. There may be times when fulfilling your destiny seems too hard. This is when limiting thoughts could interrupt your progress.

Here are ways to interrupt limiting thoughts, catching them early. The sooner you become aware of limiting thoughts, the sooner you can change your mind with lasting success. Therefore, catch yourself early and start replacing limiting thoughts. Toward this effort, you could:

  • Listen to meditation tapes that affirm that you can receive and do what causes you to feel joy
  • Visualize yourself doing and having what you want, what is related to your destiny
  • Stay free of trying to figure out how you will fulfill your destiny step-by-step. Instead, focus on what you want and accept that you are worth receiving what causes you to enter into joy and peace.
  • Forgive if you are holding a past experience against yourself or someone else.
  • Get out of your head and into your life. Okay. This may sound like an oxymoron. Yet, it isn’t. To remove limiting thoughts and change your mind, don’t over think. In other words, don’t try to figure everything out. Good living calls for courage and trust, not constant planning.

Should you struggle to trust while you’re trying to change your mind to change your life, replay a time in your life when you exhibited courage. Replay a time in your life when you did trust and a situation turned out good. Give yourself proof that you can do it.

Your Life Matters

Additionally, take small actions toward what you want. For instance, you could apply to work for a research firm if doing research work is connected to your destiny. That’s a step of trust. Keep applying to firms until you land a gig. Then, keep applying to different jobs at the firm until you gain the research experience that you want.

Who knows?  You might end up starting your own research company and doing life changing work. The key is to keep trusting and to keep taking forward steps. Here’s another tip. Do yourself a huge favor and treat yourself and others with love and respect. Also reward yourself when you complete small actions that get you closer to fulfilling your destiny. Acknowledge the good that you’re doing.

However easy or hard each forward step is, keep going. Your life matters. You deserve to experience the life that you want. You should live the life that you came here to live. Most of all, you are so worth it.

Find Jobs Aligned with Foundational Passions

By African American Books Author Denise Turney

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When I was a little girl, my parents and grandparents encouraged me to discover my passions, to find out what I love to do. At the time, it was a strange idea. After all, I was busy riding my bike, jumping rope, playing games and having fun with my siblings and friends. Years would pass before I learned my parents were trying to help me find jobs aligned with my foundational passions.

Avoid The Push to Find any Job

Looking back, I wish that I had understood what they were guiding me toward. I also wish they had pushed me toward finding my career passion. Instead, after I became a teenager, they pivoted and started pushing me to just “find a job”.

The encouragement to steer me toward finding my career passion flew out the window. Money replaced that aim. In place of finding my career passion, I was told to get a hobby. Clearly, spending time doing an activity that put me in the power of joy was critical, just not as important as looking for a job that paid me in money.

I share this because of the impact my parents’ and grandparents’ shift from finding my career passion to simply looking for a job that paid money had on me. Also, I share this because I imagine that you may have had a similar experience.

Don’t Let Being Busy Mask Discontent

Before you know it, you’ve fallen into the trap of working just to pay bills. If your life is filled with activity, you might feel happy just to have a job. For example, if you are taking college courses, traveling to different cities on weekends with friends, dating, competing in amateur sports and working, you might not notice that your job is out of alignment with your foundational passions.

As you furnish your first home, the appreciation that you feel about being able to buy your own furniture, groceries and pay your rent or mortgage could hide your true feelings about the work that you’re doing. Fortunately, this won’t continue.

Eventually, the pace of life may slow. Despite your efforts, the appreciation that you once felt about being able to bring in enough money to afford the lifestyle that you want may decline. Working a job also won’t be a new experience.

Find Jobs Aligned with Foundational Passions

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This is when you might start spotting things about your career you don’t like. If you’re fortunate, nothing you do may shake the feeling of discontent. It may be time to get to know yourself better. And it may be time to look for and find jobs you will love.

But, how do you find jobs you will love when you’ve forgotten your foundational passions? You could take career profile tests. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test, MAPP assessment, Keirsey Temperament Sorter and the Sokanu Career Test are career profile tests you could complete.

These career profile tests consider your personality when mapping a range of jobs you might enjoy. Yet, this doesn’t mean that you’ll actually love these jobs. In fact, no one knows what is in alignment with your foundational passions better than you.

What Are Jobs Aligned with Foundational Passions?

Foundational passions are your core passions. For example, you might love art. But your foundational passion might be connected to painting, or it could be connected to sculpting or photography. To find careers that align with your foundational passions, consider what you almost instantly feel peace, appreciation and joy from after you start doing it.

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For me, it’s novel writing. I’ve known this for years, even while I worked retail, education and corporate jobs. I thought any type of writing would put me in alignment with my passion. Freelance writing during the Great Recession showed me otherwise. It was then that I discovered that my foundational passion is writing novels.

After you consider what you feel peace, appreciation and joy doing, to discover your foundational passions, sit down and practice awareness. Notice how you feel while engaged in this activity versus how you feel when you’re doing other work.

Don’t Worry About Money

Don’t worry about how much money you could make working jobs you will love. Remember. That’s what tripped you up before. Next, look for projects where you currently work that either align with your foundational passions or move you in the direction of those passions.

As a tip, if you’ve been working jobs that move you away from your passions, you may benefit from inner work. Subconscious issues could be directing you toward unhappiness. For example, if you love to cook, but you keep applying for construction work, you might be keeping yourself from what causes you to feel peace, joy and appreciation.

Inner work could help you see your worth. It could also help you see how working jobs that align with your foundational passions connects you with your highest self.

Finding Jobs Aligned with Foundational Passions

Other ways to find jobs that align with your foundational passions are to:

  • Write down your dreams (they might hold keys that reveal your foundational passions)
  • Get enough sleep
  • Do parts work
  • Meditate and envision what you love to do
  • Ask yourself what you really want to do before you go to bed
  • Start doing work assignments that align with your foundational passions
  • Research jobs in your passion field. Get skills needed to step into these jobs.
  • Offer to do work for family and friends in your passion field. You could do the work at a standard pay rate. 

One thing that might surprise you is that, despite the changes you’ll experience during your life’s journey, your foundational passions will likely remain unchanged. Even if years pass before you revisit your foundational passions, there may be a spark as soon as you revisit these passions.

Moving Career Aspirations Into Alignment

Because living in this world calls for money, love yourself as you move away from what stifles or arrest your inner spark to what aligns with your foundational passions. For example, you might take a free course that teaches up-to-date skills in your passion field.

And you could contact businesses and ask if you can contract with them to start working in your passion. Do this while you keep your current job. Use money that you earn from working in your passion to build a savings, so you can shorten the time it takes to work in your passion full-time.

Careers You Love Lead to Good Living

But again, if there are jobs that align with your passion where you currently work, consider applying for those jobs. Stop talking yourself out of doing what you love. You could be keeping yourself from joy.

Whichever path you take, start paying down debt. That way, you’ll have financial freedom to stretch into careers that align with your foundational passions. Removing money blocks and doing inner work to see your worth could be just what you need to swing open the door to careers you love.

On days when you need to be encouraged as you move toward your career passion, imagine working in this passion. And imagine earning your entire income engaging in what you love, what helps you to feel alive! Now, that’s good living.

Happiness Is Doing What It Takes To Live Your Best Life

By African American Books Author Denise Turney

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Finding happiness is more than fulfilling goals. If a wish you had has already come true, you know that happiness is about more than getting things. Stockpiling goods and pursuing promotions, and money, to the point that you’re on the edge of burn out, isn’t the path to happiness. Community, rewarding relationships, loving yourself, fulfilling your destiny and living your best life are keys to happiness.

Start Living Your Best Life Now

Rewarding relationships, community, fulfilling your destiny and loving yourself are keys because happiness is never owned. Instead, happiness is experienced. It’s birthed from your choices, the choices you make throughout the day.

Rewards associated with these keys to live your best life are so deep, they’ll keep you motivated and inspired as you navigate your journey. Among the rewards are abiding peace, restful sleep, improved energy, mental clarity, empowerment, destiny fulfillment and, of course, happiness.

What It Looks Like – Living Your Best Life

Destiny fulfillment is an integral reward. Step into your destiny and you’ll know, you will absolutely know, that you have begun to live your best life.

For instance, let’s say your destiny is to manage an organic farming business that distributes food to more than 50 million people around the globe. On top of that, as part of your destiny, you will teach 10,000 people how to maintain small organic farms. These could be individuals, famers who operate on a small, local scale or health-conscious restaurant owners.

At first glance, it looks daunting, maybe even like too much. This may be why you’re guided step-by-step as you move toward, then, into your destiny. Even more, it might be why the discovery of your destiny might come as a vague idea.

Get Started

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In other words, if you saw the finish from the start, you might cower and never get started. For this reason, instead of seeing yourself feeding as many as 50 million people, the next live your best life inner images might only reveal that you are to do farming.

The important thing is to get started, and trust that other details connected to your destiny will reveal themselves later. This is important because stepping into your destiny and starting to live your best life is ongoing.

To begin, discover your destiny. Be patient. This could take weeks, maybe even months. Quiet your mind so inner guidance can rise up in your thoughts.

Living Your Best Life While Riding Waves of Change

After you discover your destiny, pray for specific actions to take to begin fulfilling your destiny. For example, if your destiny is to operate an organic farm, you might begin by researching organic farming products.

You might research organic kale, tomatoes, guava leaves, papaya, etc. Next, you might invest your savings for 20 acres of land, a tractor and a barn, only to discover that you don’t have money for seeders, irrigation machines or harvesting equipment.

If you’re not mindful, fear could set in. This is a time for trust. And it won’t be the last time you’ll have to trust your Higher Self to fulfill your destiny.

Heed Inner Promptings

Despite your best efforts, you’re going to make mistakes. You might overspend in one area, causing yourself to come up short in another. Or you might run into roadblocks. Several years of this, and you might wonder if you got it right when you thought it was your destiny to enter farming.

This is a time to seek inner guidance. Meditate. Write down your dreams. Pray. Stay open. Act on inner guidance, and don’t stop.

Because if you step away from your destiny, you could feel discontentment, frustration or depression. To numb these feelings, you might be tempted to engage in addictions, oversleep or wrestle with insomnia. Yet, try as you may, your destiny keeps calling. If you’re already experiencing this, you know what I’m talking about.

Positive Affirmations to Live Your Best Life

To stay motivated, read inspirational books. Another technique is to listen to deep meditation tapes that repeat positive affirmations that are focused on success.

Pay attention to how you feel after you listen to the tapes for a week. See if ideas related to your destiny surface. Notice if you receive specific action steps to take.

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As you keep doing what it takes to live your best life, surround yourself with positive people. Also read biographies and autobiographies of people who had hard starts and who went on to fulfill their destiny.

Finding Happiness

Writing down the steps you will take to fulfill actions toward your destiny helps. But don’t just write down and complete the steps, celebrate your smaller successes. These celebrations can reinforce your aim, serving as powerful motivators.

This bears repeating. Success is never owned. Despite your best efforts, you may experience setbacks. The key is to keep going.

A destiny designed by the Creator will lead you into inner peace, joy and happiness. Yet, it’s not magical. It’s ongoing. You may reap countless challenges and rewards along the way.

This is when writing in a journal could pay off. During hard times, return to this journal. Revisit your successes. Encourage, inspire and motivate yourself.  After all, happiness is doing what it takes to live your best life now. Don’t put it off. You came into this world to fulfill your destiny so that you can be happy.

Quick Paths to Higher Spiritual Connections

By African American Books Author Denise Turney

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Higher spiritual connections are the gateway to clarity, guidance, peace and joy. Tap into your higher Self and you could gain instant guidance, and conviction, about a critical decision. You also might become aware of how your help comes from inside of the real you. The scripture where Jesus, the Christ, said, “the kingdom of God is within you,” comes to mind. This scripture is from Luke 17:21.

Finding Time for Higher Spiritual Connections

Clearly, that does not refer to the body. It’s a fact. There’s so much to be gained from finding your higher Self and getting spiritually connected. More peace, deeper sleep, increased energy, right perceptions, hope, safety and love are among the gains.

But if you’re like millions of people, finding the time to quiet your mind may seem like an impossible task. It’s understandable. After all, your time may be filled with the demands of a full-time job, commuting, housekeeping, parenting, nurturing friendships and marriage.

That alone is enough to stop someone who’s brave. In fact, it can feel like pressure just to think about finding your higher Self when you consider all of the other activities that you have to complete. Yet, a strong spiritual connection has no replacement.

Rewards of Strong Higher Spiritual Connections

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There’s nothing you can do to replace the connection. Furthermore, you won’t feel your best without a strong spiritual connection. To find time to quiet your mind so you can communicate with your higher Self, turn off the television and sit still for 15 minutes. Depending on your mind discipline, you could set a time when you will not worry or try to figure out future events.

Again, the latter calls for a level of mind discipline. If you’ve been practicing awareness and living honestly (with your inner self), this could help tremendously. These additional techniques can work even if you’re struggling to get stronger as it regards your mind discipline (more about that later).

Find one to three places in your home where you will sit with a clear mind for at least 15 minutes in the morning and another 15 minutes in the evening. You could also still as soon as you wake. Simply sit up in bed and quiet your mind. Should thoughts start to fill your mind, try turning head, focusing your attention on a spot on the wall, and see if the thoughts clear out. Yes. It’s that simple.

Reaching Your Higher Self

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If that doesn’t work, watch the thoughts and say, “I seem to be thinking about (fill in the blank).” For example, you might say (depending on what’s occupying your mind), “I seem to be thinking about the commute to work” or “I seem to be thinking about what I’m going to eat for breakfast.”

Watch the thoughts pass as if you were watching clouds float across the sky. As a tip, this action is helpful in working through fear based thoughts, including repetitive thoughts that generate fear.

Here are several other actions that you could take to start reaching your higher Self:

Pray for guidance. Yet, don’t just utter words. Actually, pray a sincere prayer. You should feel when you’re being sincere in your request.

Say out loud, “I leave this instant and the future in the hands of God.” Or, you could say, “I leave this instant and the future in the hands of the Creator.” This and other guidance is found in the book, A Course In Miracles.

More Ways to Connect with Your Higher Self

Read the scriptures. As a tip, ask for guidance from the Holy Spirit before you start reading scriptures. Not only have words from the original scriptures been changed (and more than once), as humans, we may not ever have fully understood the scriptures. So, stay open for guidance.

Journal about what you’re thinking or feeling, especially if you feel “out of sorts” or not like your normal self. I’ve experienced this for weeks, sometimes months, before a major life change.

Get outside and go for a walk. It could be as simple as walking around your neighborhood. Of course, walk in safe areas and during daylight. Nature offers such blessings! Simply being outside gives you a burst of natural vitamin D which helps with mood. Ideas may also surface while you’re walking outside.

Easy Path to Higher Spiritual Connections

Listen to relaxing deep meditation tapes. You can do this while you’re working on a project, writing on that next blockbuster novel, putting away groceries or doing the laundry.

Soak in a warm bubble bath before you go to bed. Just close your eyes, let your shoulders loosen and sink beneath the warm, soothing water and relax.

Write a letter to someone you fear. Let what’s causing you to hold onto the fear come up, then let it go. Keep in mind that you don’t have to mail the letter. The point is to clear your mind. However, if the fear is connected to a wrong you committed and you know that you should apologize to allow the other person to go free from the experience, follow your higher Self. Apologize if you know that you should apologize.

Techniques to Gain Higher Spiritual Connections

Each of these techniques can help you gain mind discipline. Simply make three techniques a part of your daily routine. Another action that you could perform is repeating, “I place this instant and the future in the hands of the Creator” every 30 minutes. See if you don’t start to let go.

Allowing your mind to calm requires discipline. Why? In this world, you’ll have to engage in techniques that help you to calm your mind and connect with your higher Self on a daily basis. In fact, you may have to engage in effective techniques several times a day.

The rewards are amazing. While you’re doing this, also practice self-awareness. This calls for honesty. For example, if you’re feeling fear or jealousy (a type of fear), admit that to yourself while also only loving yourself. Then, ask for guidance from your higher Self to let the fear go. If you keep joy, peace and love as your goals and you stay open to guidance from the Creator, you’ll be amazed at how your life in this physical experience turns out. I’m rooting for you!

7 Easy Ways to Open Love Pathways

By Books Author Denise Turney

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Love is so deep and vast, so all encompassing, it’s impossible to describe love. It’s in all that lives. Ask someone what love feels like and you might hear words like: freedom, power, warm, inviting, comforting, dependable, limitless, eternal and good. Everything alive is touched by love. Babies rest in love. When babies coo and smile, it’s as if they are within love’s embrace. Yet, you can get lost in this world’s maze and need to find ways to open love pathways.

What’s Blocking Love Pathways

As babies, trusting love seems natural. It’s easy to rest secure in open love pathways as infants. Then, we get older. We experience disappointments. Fear based emotions like jealousy, hopelessness, anger, disgust and sorrow start to jab at us, maybe filling our days. Before long, we start to perceive love as evasive, hard to find, reserved for a select few, weak, painful and undependable.

Yet, we still want love, and we always will. We know that we need love to thrive, to live, but we’re scared.

It’s this fear that can block us from not only seeing but also receiving love’s blessings. If you’ve been hiding from love and want to stop, check out these seven ways to open love flows:

  • Raise your hands, lift your head toward the ceiling and say, “Thank you!” when you wake in the morning. This single act can shift you into a healthy mood and set your day on a positive course. Furthermore, if you’ve been in the habit of feeling angry or frustrated as soon as your feet hit the floor, this could create a new pattern that you may appreciate for years.
  • Play music that you love at least once a day. For example, you could listen to smooth jazz while you go for a walk or bike ride. Or you could listen to relaxing music while you enjoy a soothing bubble bath at the end of the day. Another place to listen to relaxing music that you appreciate is in the car. You could turn on your favorite music while driving to and from the grocery store or while running errands. See if you don’t feel better.

Techniques to Open Love Pathways

  • And this brings up another technique. Get outside and move. If you don’t like to exercise, tell yourself that you’re taking a stress relieving walk. See the experience differently.
  • Eat a healthy diet that agrees with your system. Also, pay attention to how your body feels when you eat sugary foods or when you consume too much protein. After all, the aim is to love yourself.
  • Practice awareness. Actually, observe emotions and thoughts that you experience. Slow down and notice what those emotions and thoughts are linked to. Ways to move through upsetting emotions and thoughts include journaling, painting, talking with a friend, writing yourself a letter and getting out in nature and seeing what surfaces. Also, pay attention to what surfaces in your dream world.
  • Meditate. Simply sit still and focus on your breathing. As simple as it sounds, meditating is a good way to calm racing thoughts. And it’s a good way to reduce and eliminate stress.
  • Say “I love you” to yourself and one other person each day. While you’re doing this, make sure to visit or speak with a friend once a week. In today’s online age, it’s important to nurture in-person relationships.

Stay Open to Abundant Happiness and Love

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To keep love flows open, incorporate these techniques into your daily routines. After all, experiences in this world can jab at the brightest day. You may have experienced this numerous times. At the start of the day, you feel excited, hopeful, empowered and relaxed.

Then, a number of unwanted experiences occur (e.g. traffic jams, disagreements, late appointments, weather storms, coffee burns) and, before you know it, you’ve shifted from feeling excited, hopeful, empowered and relaxed to feeling emotionally fatigued, frustrated, unable to get the day that you want and tense. The shift can happen in seconds.

That’s why it’s beneficial to incorporate self-love techniques into each day. Doing so, helps to keep you balanced and positioned to continue recognizing and receiving love flows. Even more, it may have a positive impact on the people who you live and work with.

Say Yes to Love

Other ways to stay open to love are to read articles and books that encourage you to love. Listening to deep meditation tapes that focus on the power of love is another way to stay open. Spending time with people you know love you is a real gem. But that means you may have to exit from the lives of people who are abusive toward you.

And that means saying good-bye to people who abuse you emotionally, psychologically, financially or physically. After all, accepting abuse is another way to abuse yourself. It’s another way to block love. Admittedly, turning toward love and away from abuse, especially when abuse comes from people who have been a part of your life for years, may not be easy.

You Deserve to Thrive in Open Love Pathways

To ease that pressure, exchange your image for the abuser’s. In other words, instead of seeing the abuser cursing you, see yourself engaging in that behavior against yourself. Then, ask yourself if it’s a good way to show yourself that you’re loved.

Be honest. If the answer is ‘no’, it’s time for a healthy good-bye. And yes. You may miss those people whose lives you exit. But, as you continue to practice daily self-love techniques, you can realize more and more that you did the right thing. After all, the more you love yourself and others, the stronger you become.

The same applies to putting yourself in position to be loved. And it’s this that opening to love pathways is about. Put yourself in position to receive and give love. Then, watch how you feel, think and perceive life. See if you don’t open to more goodness, experiencing an inwardly rich life.