Category Archives: Real Life Musings

Real life musings about life as a whole, including parts of life that impact singles and married couples, experience are here. These writings are also for people who are experiencing relationship changes. You’ll find articles that focus on ways to connect with family better. Other topics you’ll discover encourage children to develop a love for reading books and navigating a career are some of the blog articles written and shared here. Take your time reading through the articles. They are designed to equip you with insights, motivations, tips and inspiration that strengthen your inner being.

Resilience of African American Women

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Resilience of African American women is helping to shape the future. In fact, faith, personal fortitude, clear inner vision and determination, hallmarks of resilient African American women, is paving the way for approaching success in business, community, science, education, politics, sports and arts.

Hard Roads for Powerful Women

Picture of resilient African American women
Portrait of two African American women – Wikimedia Commons, Library of Congress – United States Public Domain

It hasn’t been easy.

Harriet Tubman, Shirley Chisholm, Fannie Lou Hamer, Coretta Scott King and Mary McLeod Bethune have stood resilient in the face of long odds. So too have African American women like Daisy Bates, Dorothy Height, Ida B Wells, Oprah Winfrey, Serena Williams, Madam C. J. Walker and Stacey Abrams.

These women embody traits that have made them household names. Furthermore, these African American women have stood up to injustices like sexism, racism and antiquated religious beliefs that demand that women see and place themselves second to men.

Historic Resiliency of African American Women

With a $40,000 bounty on her head, freedom leader, Harriet Tubman, was fearless in her efforts to deliver America into a brighter future. She had the insight to know that would only come through the end of slavery.

Picture of Harriet Tubman
Harriet Tubman – Wikimedia Commons, Ennsberger? Auburn, NY – United States Public Domain

About five feet tall, Harriet Tubman led dozens of slaves to freedom, this while facing the challenges of narcolepsy. Path to freedom for Harriet Tubman was often on foot, in treacherous areas, through thick woods, with dogs and bounty hunters chasing.

In addition to freeing slaves, Harriet Tubman served in the Civil War. After the war, she spoke out for racial equity and women’s rights. She was a true, fearless servant.

The courage that her work demanded is unimaginable, especially coupled with the challenges of narcolepsy. Yet, this African American woman, who some plantation workers considered to be handicapped, fulfilled her destiny. In doing so, she blessed generations.

Sarah Breedlove, known as Madam C. J. Walker, is another resilient African American woman who not only faced but overcame long odds. Considered America’s first self-made woman millionaire, Madam C. J. Walker advocated for anti-lynching, education and the advancement of African Americans.

Ironically, it wasn’t until after she started losing her own hair that Madam C. J. Walker took a meager $1.25 and started her hair products. Despite the odds, she would go on to overcome poverty, raise her daughter as a single mother and launch a successful hair company.

Walking the Long Road to Success

Roads to success for these and other resilient African American women was often long and arduous, demanding resiliency.  As an example, for a time, to fulfill her destiny, Harriet Tubman was parted from her mother and father. She worked as a dishwasher in Philadelphia before returning South to free her parents.

Also, similar to Coretta Scott King, Ida B. Wells was the daughter of parents who valued and encouraged education. Born into slavery, Ida B. Wells was born with a long road to travel. As an adult, she attended Rust College. But was expelled from the college after arguing with a school administrator. She traveled across the globe, exposing the absolute ugliness and horrors of lynching. Her work came with danger. But, despite how long the journey, Ida B. Wells did not turn back.

Perhaps, she and other resilient African American women were so moved by a personal experience that they saw no alternative but to do all that they could to set things right. It often takes a personal experience to move us into the right action. It’s as if we simply have to care enough about ourselves and others, wishing harm on no one, to get started. It is also necessary to be open to change.

Recreating Your Life

From Mamie Elizabeth Till-Mobley (Emmett Till’s mother) to Harriet Tubman to Mary Church Terrell, African American women have had to choose between forcing themselves to repeat former days, old ways of thinking and familiar behaviors or stepping out into what looked like nothing but felt like the right way to go. It is as if these heroic women followed a sound inner compass.

Picture of Ida B Wells resilient African American woman
Ida B. Wells Barnett – Wikimedia Commons, United States Public Domain Project Gutenberg

For instance, Ida B. Wells had to recreate her life after her parents transitioned from yellow fever. The disease found Ida B. Wells a surrogate mother. She started working as a teacher so that she could care for her brothers and her sister.

After one of her friends was lynched, Ida B. Wells started to investigate lynching, speaking out against the inhumane practice. When Ida B. Wells moved from Memphis, Tennessee to Chicago, Illinois, she continued to speak out for racial justice, at times, working with Mary Church Terrell.

History continues to show that achieving or fulfilling one’s destiny requires a life change. Those moments are shaking, hard to digest, let alone move away from. During those times, you know with absolute certainty that you cannot go back to the life that you had already developed for yourself over several years, maybe decades. You simply have to let go of the past to continue the long walk up.

When You Know That You Can’t Go Back

Loss of a child, a divorce, becoming a widow and facing a health crisis are experiences that generally do not allow you to return to your former way of perceiving. Becoming an orphan is another life experience that forces you to bid farewell to your former life.

Support systems that you used to rely on, seek comfort and solace from, are gone. Furthermore, these changes can happen instantly, absent notice. In fact, Mulukan had this experience after her mother transitioned. Mulukan was a mere six years old when she was left an orphan, her father having transitioned a few years earlier.

As with other resilient women, the fictional Mulukan had to make a choice. She could stay with the people she’d known her entire young life or she could walk away from all that was familiar to her. The risks were enormous. The same way that resilient African American woman continue to inspire, Mulukan’s mother inspired her.

Picture of African American book Long Walk Up
Copyrighted Image

It was through her mother that Mulukan (her fictional life is depicted in the book Long Walk Up) learned to live her best life. It was through her mother that Mulukan learned to never give up on her destiny, to be resilient. This little girl’s courage led her to become Africa’s first woman president. This fictional story of a resilient woman could inspire you to face what has happened in your life, even helping you to decide to make the courageous decision to recreate your life and keep working to fulfill your destiny.

Keep Walking Up

Like Long Walk Up’s Mulukan, resilient African American women impact generations. They are courageous mothers, wives, sisters and friends. Their efforts paved the way for countless others who would come after them. Yet, their labor, their faith in action, only takes real effect when, because of what they did, others start and keep taking the long walk up.

Let Mulukan’s fictional story inspire you. Step into her extreme challenges as an orphan, so that you can possibly start to believe that, despite the odds that you may face, you too can take the long walk up and reach your destiny. Fulfill your destiny and you could leave a legacy of hope, victory, faith and inspiration for future generations. Your work might even change a nation.

Get your copy of “Long Walk Up” Now at –

Resources:

https://www.womenshistory.org/education-resources/biographies/ida-b-wells-barnett

https://www.succeedingwithnarcolepsy.com/harriet-tubman

https://www.womenshistory.org/education-resources/biographies/mary-church-terrell

Falling in Love with an African American Man

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Falling in love with an African American man can be beyond words rewarding. The relationship that you share with an African America man can be insightful, deeply engaging, nourishing and long lasting. So, why aren’t more African American women enjoying these relationships?

Rolling Relationship Dice

For starters, romantic love seems to just happen. You weren’t trying to join in love. In fact, you may have sworn off joining in love with another person. And yet, it has happened.  

African American woman hugging African American man she loves
African American man and woman couple smiling, Wikimedia Commons Picture

Feels like rolling relationship dice. What you do now could impact your relationship for months, years. You could do yourself a favor and not give meaning to what the man you just met does or says. If the feelings are mutual, this gorgeous African American man could be trying to woe you.

He wants you just as you (although you may hate to admit it) want him. He may tell you what he thinks that you want to hear.

Instead of giving meaning to what he says and does as soon as you two meet, consider becoming an observer. Allow this African American man the room to be himself. Avoid steering him with judgment, praise or compliments. Observe and watch where his inner compass is headed.

Romantic Relationship Curiosity Pays Off

Consider holding back on placing a goal on the relationship. After all, you two just met. Just because strong emotions have erupted doesn’t mean that the relationship has to end in marriage. If you think back over other times when you’ve been an African American woman in love, you might see how beneficial observing without judgment or goals could be right now.

As strong, smart and insightful as you are, that doesn’t mean that you and the wonderful man you just met don’t have baggage to let go of. It doesn’t mean that you and the man you just met don’t have childhood trauma to work through.

Curiosity in what could become a blooming romance may allow valuable insights from this African American man and you to surface. As a smart woman, you may find that it’s best to work on your communication skills, patience, forgiveness and self-awareness before you advance further into the relationship.

Honesty Matters

An example of this could be allowing the man to be himself and observing him being patient with a new store cashier or cutting off a waiter who make mistakes with your dinner order. If he practices self-awareness and he’s loving, he should catch himself and change his unloving behavior all on his own.

Another example could be you saying Up just because he said Down or you saying Right just because he said Left. Be honest. Have you done this in other relationships? Are you afraid that you will lose something, perhaps yourself, if you are agreeable? Think about working on this communication habit before you advance the relationship. Your decision could save you headaches down the road.

Both of these examples are instances when you accept what is. You don’t rationalize, ignore, hide from, lie about or try to explain away what is happening. You observe and accept what is.

Moving Beyond Childhood Trauma

If the relationship proves rooted in love, you could be entering a blessed union, even if it doesn’t lead to marriage. You’re an African American woman who’s investing in herself and the beautiful African American man you love.

African American romantic relationship picture of couple in park
Smiling African American man and African American woman in park – Wikimedia Commons Picture

Together you can move beyond challenges and childhood trauma. This is what Brenda decides in Love Pour Over Me. She’s young, in her early 20s, when she meets Raymond, an incredibly gifted and loving African American man.

But Brenda’s not curious enough. She’s also scared of being hurt. She scared of disappointing her family by choosing the wrong man to share her life with. You can learn from Brenda. There’s no need to repeat her mistakes.

Childhood Trauma Signs

Outbursts and anxious behavior that catches you or the African American man who you’re in love with off guard (as though you have no idea why you said or did something) are signs that you may have childhood trauma to move beyond. Being shocked by what you say or do may be a sign that there’s an unhealed part of your mind outside your conscious awareness. Shutting down emotionally or abruptly ending communication with people you love, people you know care for you, are other signs that there may be childhood trauma to work through.

Unexplained irritability, fatigue and worry are other potential signs. The relationship is new. The man or you could be triggering past memories that one or both of you have been running from for decades, just as Raymond runs from his childhood trauma in Love Pour Over Me.

This is when your budding relationship could be a gift. Consider not forcing your relationship to fit into an image or fantasy that you’ve been wanting. Stay curious and allow the relationship to unfold organically. (Warning: This might be harder than you think.)

Invest in Personal Awakening

Should you become aware of childhood trauma in yourself or the African American man you love, invest in personal awakening. The man will have to invest in his own personal awakening. You can’t make this decision for him. If he doesn’t choose to do this, consider moving on. You should always be advancing.

Taking time each day to be still and remember the Creator is the best personal investment. Drinking plenty of fresh water, exercising, getting ample sleep and treating yourself to nature stays (e.g., outdoor walks, bike rides, reading good books while sitting outside on the porch) are ways to invest in personal awakening.

African American romantic relationship couple dining picture
Older Loving African American Couple – Wikimedia Commons Picture

Keeping a journal, writing down your dreams, meditating and listening to soothing music are other ways to invest in personal awakening. Being honest with what you feel and think may be at the top of the list of ways to invest in personal awakening. Above all, do not lie to yourself even if the truth means that this marvelous African American man and you are not ready to enter a romantic relationship.

Ongoing Support for Loving Relationship

Be patient with yourself whether you’re an amazing African American woman who’s moving forward with this relationship or an amazing African American woman who’s letting this new relationship go.

Ask for help should you get stuck or feel like you can’t get through childhood trauma on your own. There may be no greater act of loving yourself. Support may come in the form of discussion support groups, counseling or therapy with a licensed psychotherapist. Should you choose this path, consider working with a licensed therapist who has completed deep therapy herself. Avoid receiving treatment from an unhealed therapist who is not consistently working on herself.

After all, we are all awakening. If you’re looking for a book that shows an African American couple working through childhood trauma and investing in personal awakening, consider Love Pour Over Me.

Get your copy of “Love Pour Over Me” Now

Ready to Leave a Painful Childhood Behind?

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By Freelance Writer and Books Author Denise Turney

Do you know what one of the hardest parts of death is? You know, you absolutely know, that you cannot go back and change a single thing.

Love Pour Over Me Book on painful childhood cover among stack of books
Love Pour Over Me Book Cover Graphic

If you’re reading this, you might be nodding in agreement at that point, especially if you recently experienced the death of someone dear to you. In fact, desire to say or do something different as it regards that loved one might be disrupting your peace.

Living Free of Past Painful Childhood Illusions

But here’s the thing. It may be an illusion that you can change a single iota of the past just because you’re still breathing, even events from a painful childhood. Ever. The past really is done. It’s over. It passes moment by moment . . . day by day.

With that truth in mind, how would you change your life right now? How would you relate to the person you’re avoiding, the person whose opinion you value so much it hurts each time you imagine that they disapprove of you? Which ways would you treat a colleague, in-law, neighbor, blood relative or former friend if you knew that nothing you say or do can ever be erased?

Would you continue plotting how you’re going to get even with your spouse or beau because they forgot your birthday, took credit for work you did or wouldn’t back down during an argument? If possible, would you tell your child how much she irritates or frustrates you again? And would you remain committed to hardening your heart?

Choose this and you’ll be choosing to drag unforgiveness, not to mention unresolved trauma, around. Why would you choose to do this?

Signs That You’re Stuck in a Painful Childhood

As it regards a painful childhood, if you could, how would you change your present life? What behavior and thought patterns would you change now? How would you create a better past for yourself, a past you would always be at peace recalling?

If you’re stuck in the past, you may need to work with a professional or practice intentional self-care to break free. Types of past events that you could be hooked on include the death of a parent, a romantic relationship breakup, a job layoff or a natural disaster that destroyed your home.

Signs that you’re living in a past that’s rooted in a painful childhood include:

  • Clinging to people or objects (hoarding)
  • Irrational fears
  • Emotional outbursts
  • Difficulty feeling or expressing healthy emotion

Inability to form close, enriching relationships may be another sign that you’re dragging a regrettable past experience around in your psyche.

It’s time to stop. Dragging the past around comes at a high price. It works like a contaminant that erodes present-day encounters. To say it’s a joy and peace thief is an understatement.

Choosing Life

If you’re afraid and don’t want to examine a regrettable past firsthand, empower yourself by taking a peek at someone else’s life. Get an account of the depth of damage continuing to live in the past causes. You’re probably already doing this, sizing up the impact of your parents’, grandparents’, church members’ and friends’ choices.

It’s easy to see where these people went wrong. But being a spectator leaves you on the sidelines, keeps you from moving forward. Raymond Clarke learns this lesson the hard way in Love Pour Over Me. All he can see are his father’s and his mother’s awful mistakes, how they hurt him, how they set him up for a hard life.

Stop Running from the Past

Then, Raymond decides to run as far away from his past as possible. If you’re running from your past, you’re probably wondering how it’ll work out. You’re probably wondering if it’s truly possible to run far enough away from old memories and old feelings to live free of a painful childhood.

For Raymond, freedom doesn’t come until he revisits the past in an honest, healthy way. Are you ready to go back? Are you ready to revisit the hard spots in your life that are arresting your development? Give yourself the chance to learn how to truly break free of the past and accept real love right now.

Road to Freedom

Ways to get free start with acknowledging that you’re living in the past. Other actions toward freedom include:

  • Journaling about past experiences that stir up anger, fear and sorrow
  • Writing down your dreams and seeing if they offer guidance toward freedom
  • Forgiving people who mistreated you
  • Working with a reputable, experienced and licensed professional
  • Looking out for yourself from this day forward
  • Trusting yourself and taking new, loving chances

Prove you love yourself the way you wish others had proven that they loved you. After all, you’re in the driver seat now. Treat yourself good.

Get your copy of “Love Pour Over Me” Now                                        

You Don’t Know Everything

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By Books Author Denise Turney

film actress professional photo you don't know everything
Wikimedia Commons

It feels thrilling to know that you’re right. You feel like you’ve won, as if you’ve outwitted someone else. On top of that, you might feel as if you’re better than another person. Good feelings aside, striving to be right is a trap. There’s just too much you don’t know. Try enough new things and you’ll see that you don’t know everything.

Accepting that is freeing. After all, when you’re proven wrong, it feels as if you’ve had something taken from you, as if you actually lost something. Although you could hide it, you might feel small. You could feel like you need to protect yourself.

What do you believe about yourself?

Fear associated with being proven wrong affects every facet of life. It’s why parents, psychologists, business leaders and human resources specialists guide in private and praise in public. Anthony Robbins, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, Lisa Nichols, Les Brown and other thought leaders reference this when they talk about the scarcity belief.

Our ego is always on the lookout for a potential threat. The ego is always on the lookout for what it thinks might attack or take away from it, believing that loss is actually possible.

Then, our ego creates defense systems (i.e., disassociation, aggression) as a way to protect itself and to avoid change. None of the ego’s defense systems work. They can become addictive. They can also make sickness, but help and heal, they cannot do.

What are your beliefs keeping you from?

Believing that you know everything is an ego defense. But think about what this does. Thinking that you know everything about a person, an organization, a situation or the past, present or future keeps you from:

  • Lasting, positive change
  • Internal advancement
  • Enlightenment
  • Awakening to truth
  • Accepting new ideas and thoughts
  • Peace and joy
  • Sense of truth fulfillment
  • What you really want
  • Better, more rewarding relationships
  • Feeling safe

As a writer or book publisher, thinking that you know everything could be the reason why you haven’t received ideas on how you can connect with more readers, generate more book sales or write better stories. Keep in mind that the ego is always on the lookout for a threat. It is always seeking a way to protect itself. One of the best ways that the ego avoids threat is by keeping you bound (away from real change) and stagnant. It does this at conscious and unconscious levels. Fear is its primary tool.

Signs that the ego is at work

If you feel angry, attacked, ridiculed, embarrassed or small when someone corrects something that you said or did, your ego may be in full effect. If you feel afraid to speak in public, introduce yourself to someone or reach out for help, your ego could be telling you that you don’t have enough value to do those things.

They are lies.

Art, particularly writing, is an area where the ego gets tested regularly.

As a writer, you are going to receive feedback on your work. If you’re afraid of feedback, you may refuse to work with an editor. Okay. So, don’t work with an editor. You’ll hear from readers and book reviewers instead. But you are going to get feedback and you probably won’t like all of it.

Accept that nothing can change God’s will. Nothing can change what God created or how God created anything. God created you perfect. You do not have to know everything. You cannot lose anything. Your worth cannot diminish.

Move forward with an open mind. Accept when you are wrong, knowing that your ideas and decisions are not YOU. The more open you are to accepting feedback, the better your works may become. Being open to feedback can help you to remove blinders. It can help you to develop the types of stories that readers appreciate. It can position you for greater success. Remember. You don’t have to know everything, especially if you trust the One who does.

Get your copy of “Love Pour Over Me” Now at –http://www.ebookit.com/books/0000001582/Love-Pour-Over-Me.html

Child Abuse Signs to Look Out For

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By Freelance Writer and Books Author Denise Turney

signs of child abuse

Stop Child Abuse Picture by OshaneB at Wikimedia Commons

Child abuse signs extend beyond bruises, swollen limbs and fractures. Emotional and psychological scars, though harder to detect, run deep, last a long time. And there are instances when a child’s injuries are due to a fall or an accident. Still, as it regards a child, should you witness potential abuse or neglect, make the child top priority.

Stop Child Abuse 

Do something.

For instance, you could ask the child how they got injured. If your child is a friend of the injured child, they could also ask the child how she got injured. Depending on the level of trust between the kids, the abused child might reveal what’s happening to them to your kid.

Suspect abuse or neglect? Alert authorities, a step that you could take anonymously. Call 911 if a child has been injured or shows signs of neglect. Don’t wait or just pray about it. What you do now could save a child years of emotional or psychological trauma.

Medical professionals, teachers and school administrators receive training on how to identify and respond to child abuse signs. They could be a good resource to help stop abuse or neglect. The important thing is to take action, do something to protect and care for the child.

Far Reaching Impact of Childhood Neglect

Left to continue, abuse during formative years can cause a range of harmful conditions. Including among these conditions are:

  • Getting emotionally, sexually or mentally “stuck” at the age that the trauma happened
  • Difficulty communicating with others
  • Disassociation
  • Panic attacks
  • PTSD
  • Depression
  • Irrational anger
  • Insomnia
  • Eating disorders
  • Isolation

Unfortunately, those are not the only conditions that can result from being abused or neglected as a child. Larger society often doesn’t pay attention to the conditions until someone who experienced abuse or neglect deals with the trauma in anti-social ways. Doing something right away could prevent future tragedies. Every child deserves to grow up in a safe, loving environment.

Child Abuse Signs Aren’t Always Easy to Detect

As it regards abuse, signs of sexual abuse can be hard to detect due to the fact that the abused child may work hard to keep the abuse secret. Shame, guilt and embarrassment are emotions that even hard-wired adults try to avoid. Imagine how much a child would want to steer clear of these emotions. Yet, there are signs that a child might have been sexually abused. These signs include an abused child:

• Talking with other children about age-inappropriate sexual fantasies, ideas or facts
• Asking other children sexually charged questions
• Showing other children pornography
• Touching other children inappropriately
• Having sex with a child (it doesn’t matter if the child doesn’t protest)

Abusive Neglect

Abandonment and emotional abuse range from belittling or bullying children to calling children derogatory names. This type of abuse can have lifelong effects. During childhood, humans undergo extensive psychological conditioning. Name calling, belittling and abandonment can set a child up for serious self-esteem issues.

This type of abuse can also make it hard for adults to form healthy emotional attachments. Examples of abandonment are forcing children to stay in their room or a certain part of the house alone and leaving children at home alone for hours or a day or longer.

An adult caregiver showing more respect for a boyfriend or girlfriend could be another form of abandonment, especially if a child is merely fed and sheltered while a parent enjoys the honeymoon stage of a new relationship. A parent allowing their boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse to abuse a child is also abandonment and neglect.

Abuse from Childhood to Adulthood

Children who wear long sleeved clothes during the height of summer may be hiding bruises or scars. Other less direct signs of child abuse include:

• Children withdrawing from family and friends
• A child finding it hard to make or keep friends
• Low self-esteem
• Fear of other people
• Expecting to be ridiculed or bullied
• Not wanting to go home
• Running away from home
• Constant headaches or stomach aches
• Overeating or under eating
• Sleeping for long periods or staying in bed most of the day
• Insomnia
• Seeking constant approval or praise
• Fear of trying new things due to fear of being shouted at for making a mistake

Love Pour Over Me gives a glimpse of what can happen to an adult who has suffered years of abuse. It takes Raymond decades to stop being afraid of love. That wait comes at a price for Raymond and real-life child abuse victims. Do what you can to stop child abuse now.

Courageous Patience for New Beginnings

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beautiful heart patience pendant

By Novel Writer Denise Turney

New beginnings are welcomed, celebrated. At the same time, they are feared, avoided. Have you ever dealt with a loss that you knew, deep down, you just knew, took the old you with it? It may have been the loss of a child, the loss of a parent, sibling or even the loss of a job that you’d worked for more than 30 years.

Please Leave Things the Way They Were

For you, there is no going back. If you’re particularly reluctant to release your former life, the only life you may have known, you might return to a former residence, seriously consider moving back home or seek out another job that reminds you so much of the job you just left.

The person who tries to toss out or move your deceased child’s clothes might be greeted with a powerful show of anger and distaste from you. “Leave it the way it is” might be your cry. It’s understandable.

Reinventing a brand-new life and evolving into new beginnings is no easy task. This reinvention demands that you examine your deepest beliefs. Yes. Get forced to let go of everything that you knew, and you will ask profound questions. It makes perfectly good sense. After all, the ground beneath your feet has shifted.

When Trusting New Beginnings Is Hard

Trust may be a hard to surface as you progress through your former life and move toward new beginnings. Love Pour Over Me‘s Raymond Clarke knows all too well about these awkward, painful adjustments.

It takes him a long time, decades, to learn to release his past life. Because of this, it takes him a long time to receive the love that awaits him, love he won’t receive until after one of the most important people in his life departs this world.

Are you at a crossroads? Or are you trying to cope with a painful loss? Perhaps Raymond’s story will speak to you. His story is the fictional account of volumes of real-life stories that fill newspaper, magazine and journal archives. Through his life you might find an answer that you are seeking.

New Beginnings – When You Experience Real Pain

You might find a path or technique that helps you to move forward, to enter a rewarding new beginning. As Raymond learns in Love Pour Over Me, be patient with yourself. It really does take courageous patience to advance into new beginnings.

Depending on the depth of the shift, you might start out feeling numb, detached from the loss. Crying might be something you rarely, if ever, do. This is a time when people around you (family, colleagues, neighbors, friends) might think you’re strong.

Because it reduces their need to alter their lives in order to deal with the great change you’re in the middle of, they may like you better this way versus seeing you sob. For this reason, meditating and spending time alone resting could be paramount as you move forward, never to be the same again.

Courageous Patience for the New Road Ahead

People you know might tell you that you really know how to trust God if you display little to no emotion around the loss. But they are only seeing your mask. And they might be grateful for that. Your mask rewards them with the illusion that things really haven’t changed that much and that after a certain amount of time, things will go back to the way they were before the loss occurred.

But that’s not going to happen. Ever.

Which is why it takes courageous patience to advance into new beginnings. Bless yourself with the patience to fall, get back up, fall again and wobble or crawl back up. Gift yourself with the patience to let your emotions rock, stand in the fear of the unknown and accept that you don’t now (nor ever did) know all there is to know about anything.

Favor yourself with patience as you struggle to release the past. Give yourself time to create a brand-new life. After all, this is a new life that you (not someone else) are going to live. Don’t rush it. Be exceptionally kind and gentle with yourself even if others are not.

Look For Cues

Look within for cues that you’re on the right path. Permit yourself to experience joy and happiness, even as you work your way through grief. Your courageous patience is a sign of self-love.

This same courageous patience might serve as a light to other people years from now. Your courageous patience to begin again might help to lead others out of a past that no longer works just as Raymond Clarke’s journey has done in the book Love Pour Over Me.

When you have to wait for your dreams to manifest

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By Denise Turney


woman dreaming on her back

Picture by Realt0n12 (Wikimedia Commons)

An unknown person wrote, “Dreams are like stars…you may never touch them, but if you follow them they will lead you to your destiny.” If you’ve ever spent eight or more hours a day, thousands of dollars and more energy than you could measure in pursuit of a dream, there’s a good chance that you’ve missed this point, that you’ve felt frustrated.

Connection between your dreams and your destiny

Yet, you keep motivating yourself. You keep turning your radio dial (seemingly by sheer chance) and finding songs that encourage you to keep pursuing your dream when you absolutely feel like throwing in the towel and quitting. If you didn’t know any better, you might believe that something is guiding you.

What you may not have yet realized is that the pursuit of your dreams is changing you, helping you to awaken. It’s almost like a riddle. Keep going and you could look up and realize that you have stepped right inside your destiny. Yet, like the character in the bestselling book, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, don’t be surprised if pursuing your dream takes you down roads you never thought you’d journey across.

Stop going after your dream, and you could miss out on memorable experiences. You could lose opportunities to meet friends and supporters, the very people who could go on to leave positive imprints on you. Depending on where you are in pursuit of your dreams, you may understand this or you may feel upset. If you’re feeling frustration, fear or extreme doubt about the fact that your dreams could or will manifest, consider:

  • Meditating for 5 to 10 minutes in the morning and again, at night, before you go to bed
  • Get outside and enjoy a walk (Great ideas have burst through to people while they were outdoors enjoying a walk.)
  • Sleep good at night (You might be surprised at what your dreams reveal to you if you get enough rest.)
  • Be clear about what you want (To get clear, you’re going to have to bid farewell to fear, even if only for a few minutes).
  • Listen to songs and read books that clearly show you that your dreams can come true.
  • Surround yourself with positive, courageous people — the types of people who believe in you and know you can and will step into your destiny.
  • Think back to when you first became aware of your dream. Live with an open mind and remain open to new possibilities.
  • Seek after awakening rather than seeking after feeling “comfortable”.

The latter (seeking after “comfort”) could delay the manifestation of a dream more than any other element, outside of fear. Think about it. When you feel comfortable aren’t you often repeating thoughts, images and events? Aren’t you living the same days over and over? Admittedly, it’s effective at “feeling” like you’re in control, but then something happens (i.e. a loved one transitions, a company closes, your children leave home) to jolt you into the reality that you don’t control everything. Then “comfort” is replaced with anger, depression or more fear.

After awhile, you may learn that stepping into your destiny requires that you trust. I never said that it would always feel easy, but I am saying that it’s worth it.

Trust that Higher Self knows exactly how to bring your dream into the physical realm, and in a way that finds you more awakened to truth.

Get your copy of “Love Pour Over Me” Now at –

http://www.ebookit.com/books/0000001582/Love-Pour-Over-Me.html

Sources:

Amazon.com – http://www.amazon.com/Love-Pour-Over-Me-ebook/dp/B007MC0Z2C

Barnes & Noble – http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/love-pour-over-me-denise-turney/1109600654

 

Love equals freedom

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By Denise Turney



In 1 John chapter four and verses 18 through 19 says, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear. because fear involves punishment. The one who fears has not been perfected in love.” Turn to Genesis chapter 1 and verse 31 and you’ll see, “God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good.”

Because God created us, there is nothing to fear. Nothing can usurp the will of God. Nothing can change, remove, abolish or minimize God’s will. The truth of what God is, the truth that God is, the truth that God is eternal and the truth that nothing can alter or stop God’s will may be the greatest good news ever.

Love does not bind because love does not fear

Truth also means that love is forever. Because there is no fear in love, there is no reason to attack, bind or try to make anyone perceive herself or himself as being small. Love does not belittle, make jest of or seek to embarrass. It has no reason to.

Despite what romantic songs say, love does not hurt. Love forgives because it recognizes a mistake and knows that mistakes can and should be corrected, not punished. Love is wise. It knows the outcome across the short and the long term.

Love simply does not fear. Love knows what it is. It is not uncertain. It is not unsure. It does not need to shout or boast. Love’s simple existence is enough.

Love has no puppets because love is freedom

In that rest freedom. It could be why people who dedicate themselves to love speak often, passionately and with conviction about and for freedom.

We are at a point where we have forgotten what love is. We refer to sex as “making love”. Bodies don’t make love. Love is eternal. Bodies aren’t.

We may think that love can become jealous or express itself as jealousy, rage or (again) hurt. Love cannot do those things. But, that doesn’t stop us from using logic to conceal our thought errors and claiming that we are not responsible for how we use our minds in effort to appear innocent.

An example, is when a man says “all men cheat”. Translated – this means, I cannot help what my mind does. I cannot help what my body does. I’m innocent of what I do with my mind because I have absolutely no control of my mind.

If this is truth, a man is merely a puppet. But, whose puppet? And who made man a puppet?

According to Genesis chapter one and verse 31, it wasn’t God.

God made (wo)man free. If nothing can change, diminish or alter God’s will, we have a real dilemma when we seek to avoid taking responsibility for ourselves.

As happens with Raymond Clarke in Love Pour Over Me, it may take us decades to accept that we truly are responsible for ourselves. We are responsible for what we do with our minds. We’re not puppets because we’re not impotent. We’re free.

Get your copy of “Love Pour Over Me” Now at –
http://www.ebookit.com/books/0000001582/Love-Pour-Over-Me.html

Sources:
Amazon.com – http://www.amazon.com/Love-Pour-Over-Me-ebook/dp/B007MC0Z2C
Barnes & Noble – http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/love-pour-over-me-denise-turney/1109600654

Historic Places to Visit in Dayton, Ohio

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dayton ohio skyline

Wikimedia Commons – Public Domain

By Ohio Book Author, Denise Turney

It’s not the largest city in the country, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t a lot of historic places to visit in Dayton. In fact, Dayton, Ohio is big on history, tradition and achievements. Largely known for the accomplishments of Wilbur and Orville Wright, when many think of Dayton, images of the Wright Patterson Air Force Museum and the Wright Patterson Air Force Base immediately spring to mind.

That happens to me, sometimes, too. Even more, when I think of Dayton, Ohio, I think of home. It’s the city that I was born and raised in. My parents grew up there. All the festivities, delicious food, childhood friendships, family gatherings and holiday traditions that I grew up with take me back to Dayton.

Historic places to explore in Dayton, Ohio

To me, Dayton isn’t a big city, especially when I compare it to Philadelphia and New York. Yet, it is the sixth largest city in Ohio.

About 50 miles North of Dayton is the Queen City, also known as the City by the River — Cincinnati. You’ll have to drive five hours to reach Cleveland and nearby cities, home of talents like The O’Jays, writer Toni Morrison, Arsenio Hall, LeBron James and Hugh Downs.

Visit Dayton, Ohio and you can learn and be entertained while you explore historic places like the Paul Laurence Dunbar Home (this historic site is close to where I grew up), Victoria Theater, the Dayton Art Institute, Carillon Historical Park, Boonshoft Museum of Discovery, SunWatch Indian Village, the Dayton Arcade and the Dayton Daily News Building.

If you venture inside the Dayton Daily News Building, give yourself the day. Research Dayton’s history through real life stories that were captured by some of the city’s insightful journalists. As a history buff, this might be one of the best ways to get to know Dayton, that and inspiring an elder to share stories of their experiences in the city with you.

More historic sites in Dayton, Ohio

Additional historic places to visit in Dayton, Ohio are the Dayton Canoe Club, the Dayton Terra-Cotta Historic District and the Dayton Women’s Club. Other historic places include:

  • Deeds Carillon (My paternal grandmother took us here when we were kids. She loved visiting this area. It was peaceful, with lots of room for kids to play.)
  • Deeds’ Barn
  • Eagles Building
  • Fire Blocks Historic District
  • East Third Street Historic District
  • Oscar M. Gottschall House
  • Graphic Arts Building
  • Jacob O. Joyce House
  • Lindsey Building
  • McCormick Manufacturing Company Building
  • Montgomery County Courthouse
  • Old Post Office and Federal Building
  • John R. Reynolds Home
  • Traxler Mansion
  • Woodland Cemetery Association of Dayton Historic District

Track and field enthusiasts may appreciate visiting Dayton and exploring areas that world champion hurdler, Edwin Moses, grew up in. Travel about thirty minutes from Dayton toward Wilberforce University and you can visit the National Afro-American Museum and Cultural Center.

I can’t say enough about this museum. It is truly worth visiting. They had a 1960s theme when my sister and I visited several years ago. Designs and artifacts were so good that I actually felt like I was back in the 1960s while I was at the museum.

When you think about it, isn’t it amazing how much there is in the city where you grew up or where you live now? After all, you may start to take these places for granted. There’s so much richness within your reach. I encourage you to explore great, historic places if you visit or live in Dayton, Ohio, the city that Raymond Clarke, the main character in the book, Love Pour Over Me, grew up in.

Thank you for reading my blog. To learn what happens to Dayton, Ohio born Raymond Clarke, Brenda and the other characters in Love Pour Over Me, hop over to Amazon.com, B&N.com, Ebookit.com, or any other online or offline bookseller and get your copy of Love Pour Over Me today. And again I say – Thank You! Consider Love.

Famous Ohio Athletes

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By Ohio Writer, Denise Turney


Lebron James

Pic by Chrischappelear – Flickr

Ohio athletes have taken center stage at the local, national and international levels. You might be surprised at the numbers of Ohio state athletes who have competed in the Olympics. As a former track and field runner (I ran middle distance races like the half mile and the mile), I sometimes think that making and placing at the Olympics is the toughest sports challenge facing any athlete.

Don’t think so? Try placing in the top three of local, regional and national AAUs competitions. It is not easy.

Ohio is home to some of the world’s greatest athletes

Ranker list Ohio athletes who competed in the Olympics as Edwin Moses, LeBron James, Amanda Borden, Barry Larkin, Charles Vinci, Gretchen Bleiler, Heather Mitts and Jerry Lucas. This list is not all inclusive.

Gotta mention Jesse Owens. Although Jesse Owens wasn’t born in Ohio, he claimed the state as “home”. Few Ohio athletes may have had a larger impact on the sports and social landscapes as Jesse Owens, the track and field star aptly nicknamed the Buckeye Bullet. His records stood for years. He truly was a phenomenal athlete. Did you catch the movie based on his life?

Edwin Moses track and field

Wikimedia Commons – Public Domain

While researching for this article, I was surprised to learn that the Seattle Seahawks quarterback, Russell Wilson, is from Ohio. Russell Wilson was born in the Queen City or Cincinnati. Other football greats who were born in Ohio include Larry Csonka and Ben Roethlisberger. You can count Ben Roethlisberger as the youngest quarterback to win a Super Bowl. Impressive.

Ohio is also the home of the first college football player to win two Heisman trophies, Archie Griffin. How I wish that his NFL career had been as illustrious as his collegiate career. Fortunately, Archie Griffin continues to serve Ohio State University. Check out his story with the OSU Alumni Association.

Time out for great Ohio coaches

I know this blog post is about famous Ohio athletes, but I have to mention some of the Buckeye state’s highly skilled coaches. There’s Don Shula. He coached the Miami Dolphins, the only team in the NFL that had a perfect regular season record.

And who can forget the great Woody Hayes, Paul Brown, Cliff Battles and Chuck Noll, the first NFL coach to win four Super Bowls. He did it in six seasons, winning twice against the great Tom Landry. Other great football coaches born in Ohio include Jon Gruden and Jim and John Harbaugh.

If I considered coaches who coached at Ohio State University, then went on to coach some of the nation’s best teams, we’d have Alabama’s Nick Saban, Pete Carroll and Lovie Smith. When it comes to basketball, Bobby Knight, born in Massillon, Ohio, may well be the most famous basketball coach from the Buckeye state. Yes. Ohio is known for producing great coaches.

Ohio athletes who raised the mark

Golfer, Jack Nicklaus, was born in Upper Arlington, Ohio. He is considered by many to be the world’s greatest golfer. Believe it or not, he’s on Twitter, in case you want to check him out on social media. Jack Nicklaus’ official website can be found here.

The numbers of famous Ohio athletes who played in the NBA or ABA are too many to mention. Leading the way is LeBron James. It’s good to see LeBron playing for the Cleveland Cavaliers again. They’re playing the Toronto Raptors in Game 3 as I write this blog post.

Love LeBron James’ official website. Hard to believe that he still has a Little Tikes basketball stand at his home. Whoever built LeBron James’ website loaded it with great content. Appreciate that there’s more than basketball at his website. After all, it’s never a good thing when athletes only focus on sports, as there is so much more to life.

Ready to check out other great Ohio athletes who played pro basketball? How about Stephen Curry? You may not believe this, but Stephen Curry was also born in Akron, Ohio, the same city that LeBron James was born in.

Talk about greatness is must mention for John Havlicek. Born in Martins Ferry, Ohio, John Havlicek won eight NBA championships with the Boston Celtics. It’s nothing short of amazing that Havlicek won his first four NBA championships during his first four seasons with the Celtics.

Other famous Ohio athletes who played pro basketball include Earl Boykins, Barry Clemens, Antonio Daniels, Matt Harpring and Tyrone Hill. Each of these Ohio athletes had a long career in professional sports, most of them competing for more than 10 years.

In baseball, there’s the great Pete Rose. Nicknames Charlie Hustle, Pete Rose was born in Cincinnati, Ohio. He played first base, outfield and infield. Pete Rose played for the Cincinnati Reds, Philadelphia Phillies and Montreal Expos. But, he’s most known for playing baseball for his hometown Cincinnati Reds. His team won three World Series. Pete Rose won Most Valuable Player at the 1975 World Series.

As much as I hate saying it, it’s tough finding a host of famous Ohio athletes who are women. But, I’ll keep looking. If you come across more great women athletes who were born in Ohio, please hit me up.

Annie Oakley famous ohio athletes

Wikimedia Commons – Public Domain

Women who are famous Ohio athletes (that I learned about) are Annie Oakley (Yeah! Annie Get Your Gun Oakley), Pauline Betz (tennis), Alissa Czisny (figure skater) and Sylvia Crawley (basketball). Again, please hit me up if you learn about other women who are famous Ohio athletes. We have so much to appreciate and to be thankful for!

Thank you for reading my blog. To learn what happens to Dayton, Ohio born track and field star, Raymond Clarke, his soul mate, Brenda, and the other characters in Love Pour Over Me, hop over to Amazon.com, B&N.com, Ebookit.com, or any other online or offline bookseller and get your copy of Love Pour Over Me today. And again I say – Thank You! Consider Love.