Category Archives: Real Life Musings

Real life musings about life as a whole, including parts of life that impact singles and married couples, experience are here. These writings are also for people who are experiencing relationship changes. You’ll find articles that focus on ways to connect with family better. Other topics you’ll discover encourage children to develop a love for reading books and navigating a career are some of the blog articles written and shared here. Take your time reading through the articles. They are designed to equip you with insights, motivations, tips and inspiration that strengthen your inner being.

Power Up with Daily Motivation

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By Motivational Books Author Denise Turney

photo of assorted daily motivation quotes
Photo by Mikechie Esparagoza on Pexels.com

Power up with daily motivation and shift your life in the right direction. It’s easy. But it takes discipline. Start early. As a matter of fact, there may be no better time than morning, when you first waken, to start filling your mind with positive motivation.

Struggling to Get Motivated? What’s Your Morning Mood?

Why morning? Mental and behavioral habits kick-off in the morning. A good way to discover the power of morning habits is to use a journal, spreadsheet or a notebook to write down the first thoughts and/or images that pop into your mind when you wake up.

Do you wake with positive thoughts similar to those below in your mind?

  • “I’m going to learn a lot of new, exciting things today!”
  • “What a wonderful day to continue moving closer to fulfilling my destiny!”
  • “So happy that I have another opportunity to be with my family and friends.”
  • “Birds singing outside my window! What a blessing!”
  • “Did I ever sleep wonderfully last night. So happy to wake rested and ready to go!”

Morning Motivation

Or are these more in line with the first thoughts that surface in your mind after you wake?

  • “Do I have to face another day of trouble and hard times?”
  • “I hate morning. I’m just not a morning person.”
  • “Probably going to be another long day where I have to drive to and from work in bumper-to-bumper traffic then spend 8 hours with my stupid manager and dumb co-workers.”
  • “My neighbors are such a pain. Their dog better not have crapped in my yard last night.”
  • “Hope that community project I’m working on doesn’t fall apart. It’s been nothing but a headache since I started working on it, not to mention the fact that I’ve been working long hours, harder than anybody else on the project.”

Admittedly, I’ve awaken with both types of thoughts. For years, I thought I had no control over thoughts that pop into my mind, even thoughts I continue to noodle on as the day extends. What I did notice was how thoughts connected with how I felt.

Let Morning Goodness Motivate You

If you pay attention to how you feel in the morning, you might see the connection between your thoughts and emotions more clearly. Morning is important because it may be the best time to stop yourself from going too far in a negative direction. Regarding the power of morning, Psychreg shares, “The morning routine is a process of habit formation which produces better mental health and sleep patterns.”1

When it’s morning, you might also:

  • Feel more energized
  • Ride the strength of a good dream
  • Be more open to change
  • Not be impacted by the energy and behavior of other people as much as you could be later in the day

So, how do you power up with daily motivation? How do you power up, starting each day with positive, motivating thoughts, especially if you’ve spent years engaging one negative thought after another?

Setting a Powerful Motivational Intention

Start by setting an intention to focus on positive, love-based thoughts. This doesn’t mean that you ignore experiences you’re having. For instance, if you’ve recently experienced a loved one’s transitioning, your thoughts might broaden or deepen. Anger, sadness, frustration, hopelessness and rage could be a range of emotions that you feel as you work through the transitioning.

Thoughts that might pop into your mind in the morning as you work through the transitioning might include “my life is over”, “nothing matters anymore”, “life is so hard” or “I’ve had enough.” To shift these thoughts, you could:

  • Ask yourself why you think or feel the way that you do (often thoughts and definitely emotions don’t apply to you alone, so it’s good to ask why you think or feel the way you’re thinking or feeling)
  • Swap out one negative thought for two positive, motivational thoughts
  • Write down a motivational quote and read it each morning

Small Actions to Get Motivated

Consider starting small if you’re in the habit of starting the morning focusing on negative thoughts. As an example, if you have spent years telling yourself that you’re not a morning person and have, therefore, allowed or even encouraged yourself to think and feel negatively simply because it’s morning, small actions might prove empowering. Types of small actions you could take include:

  • Raising your hands as soon as you waken and saying “Thank you!” Avoid trying to feel a specific emotion. Simply start your morning by raising your hands and saying, “Thank you!”
  • Stretching in the morning. This is a great way to waken more fully, removing or reducing stiffness. When you stretch, you could also feel more energized.
  • Singing an upbeat song as you make your way from your bed to the bathroom
  • Taking in the gentle scent of a candle or fruity herbs when you get out of bed
  • Turning on soft, soothing music as you wash up
  • Counting 5 blessings before you brush your teeth and get dressed
  • Exercising for 5 to 10 minutes – rev up with a short, burst of cardio

Adding these small actions to your morning could cause your thoughts to shift in a surprising way. Keep at it and the changes could reach your subconscious, potentially helping you get off to a better start each day.

Time Saving Motivational Tips

Even more, these actions only take a few minutes, if not less, to complete. And that’s the key. Go with small changes. The more important need is to set the intention to power up with daily motivation. Absent setting the intention to start your day in a mindset of motivation or great positive expectation, you could drift into old morning mental routines which could rob you of a good day.

As you grow your good morning routines, another easy approach to power up could be to get a deck of motivational quote cards and read a quote a day. Or you could focus on a single motivational quote for an entire week. Reading uplifting books is another effective action. Both point back to intention.

You have to want to feel good. You have to intend to focus on positive thoughts. After all, this world has love-based and fear-based thoughts and experiences in it. Think of intention this way. Whether you focus on love-based or fear-based thoughts and experiences is up to you.

Make Joy Your Aim

Because joy is the aim, choose love-based thoughts and experiences. This single choice will impact all of your life in beneficial ways. Intention is critical whether you’re at home or work. In fact, CNBC shares that starting the day looking at a to-do list could shift you into a stressful mindset.2

Little actions set off a domino effect. Set the intention to power up with daily motivation and watch ideas surface. You might end up listening to a joke first thing in the morning, sitting on the porch and listening to birds sing or riding an exercise bike.

Over time, actions you take to power up might change, filling your life with diverse love-based activities. You might even keep your mobile device off until after you’ve been up for 30 minutes. Keep at it. You’ll learn what works best for you. Whatever actions you take, watch your thoughts, choose love-based thoughts, live with confidence and make joy your aim.

Resources:

  1. https://www.psychreg.org/psychology-morning-routine/
  2. https://www.cnbc.com/2022/12/18/psychologists-morning-habits-to-help-you-be-happier-more-productive.html

Why Life Is Filled with Mystery and Suspense

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By Mystery Writer Denise Turney

mystery and suspense light
light showing mystery and suspense

Even illusionists and fortune tellers know that life is filled with mystery and suspense. Fact is, regardless of your background and despite your hopes, wishes and abilities, there’s so much you may never know. In fact, you might spend years feeling, really believing, that you have a solid handle on life, only to discover that you really never did have as much control as you thought you had.

Facing What’s Coming

That realization could come to you in the form of a dream, an unexpected job shift or the transitioning of someone you love. Then, there are economic, nature-related and societal changes that seem all but a mystery, cloaked with anxious suspense. It’s what the world experienced years ago with the outbreak of COVID19. Before COVID19, there was Ebola, AIDS, yellow fever, smallpox and other contagions.

Who saw those viruses and diseases coming? And, who knew that the COVID19 virus would unsettle the world for two years?

These types of mysteries may be why we seek out religious prophecies, magic and astrology. If only we could know everything that was coming. But would simply knowing what was coming next bring the constant peace you’re seeking?

At first thought, it seems as if knowing something is going to happen before it occurs takes the sting out of the change. Yet is that what happens?

As an example, if you knew that you were going to suffer a tragic, though not fatal, fall while mountain climbing, would pain from the fall be less painful? Would knowing about the fall before it occurred change anything?

Uncloaking Mystery and Suspense in Your Life

That may be a reason why life is filled with mystery and suspense. If knowing how every event was going to unfold didn’t change you or how you feel, what’s to be gained if the mystery in this world is taken out?

Another point to consider is that much of what appears to be mysterious seems a secret because it holds details that you may not want to face. I was recently watching the movie, The illusionist. Eisenheim, the illusionist in the movie, appeared to have special powers. So much about what he did was hidden, mysterious.

That cloak was partly removed when he told the inspector how he performed an apple trick. At that point, it became clear that suspense can also derive from lack of knowledge and an unwillingness to pay attention.

Hence, life may be filled with the tension of mystery because you’re far too distracted to pay attention to tiny details that serve as clues to what’s coming in your life or to what’s going to happen around you next. Howbeit, that’s another point – living with distractions.

What’s The Last Unexpected Event You Faced

Other reasons why life seems filled with mystery include not wanting to see the link between what you’re doing right now, what you’re convincing yourself of right now and what shows up next in your life and a desire for irresponsibility. Think about it.

Not being responsible for where you are right now could free you from inner work. In other words, if you’re not responsible for where you are (wherever that is), you certainly couldn’t be held accountable for what comes of your life. Turn away from inspecting minute details and you could convince yourself that events are just happening to you.

Keep at it, and you could become convinced that your life is the one thing that you have no or little control of. But, what if, in your quest to free yourself of details and responsibility, you ventured to a quiet place only to be met with a most unexpected event? That event could be anything from having a vision, having your home destroyed in a fire that has been determined to have been deliberately set (by who, no one knows) to receiving a notice that you have been given an inheritance from someone you never met, etc.

Furthermore, because of this event, you now must solve a real mystery. There’s too much on the line for you to turn away. Instead of turning away, you must get to the bottom of this mystery. Walk away and your life will feel like it’s burdened with suspense.

How Are You a Mystery, a Suspense to Yourself

Look around. Have you faced such an experience, even once? Did you pursue the mystery? If so, what did you discover about yourself? Did you discover that, despite what you faced, in spite of living with so much “unknown” you are more enlightened, loved and empowered than you thought?

Look back at your life and see if there’s a mystery waiting for you to solve, the type of real life mystery that, once your solve the mystery, you gain a key that helps you to unlock before unknown and blessed doors inside of yourself.

You’re Too Close to Winning To Quit

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By Freelance Writer and Novel Author Denise Turney

archery target face in close up photography of someone close to success
Photo by Mikhail Nilov on Pexels.com

Winning is a lot about commitment and tenacity. You need an unexplainable desire to succeed. Why? There are countless shifts, challenges, setbacks and surprising advances, not to mention totally unexpected industry trend changes, on the success path.

Spending months, even years, studying the industry or market you want to develop, sell and distribute products or services in is admirable. However, it’s not enough to insulate you from disappointment and rough patches.

Desire Has Real Affect

After years of pursuing novel writing, as well as freelance writing, one thing I have learned with certainty is that pursuing a dream brings a slew of uncertainty into your life. This is where desire has real effect.

Desire what you are pursuing deeply enough and can press your way through any obstacle, any setback. The key is to mix desire with tenacity. Refuse to quit, simply refuse to give up.

If you need motivation to keep going, consider:

  • What you will forfeit if you quit (e.g., chance to pass a successful family-owned business that you founded down to future generations, realization that you can succeed, a deeper knowing that you are a champion)
  • Why you started pursuing a dream in the first place (remembering why you want what you want will play a key role throughout your life)
  • Your purpose for being in this world. A deeper part of you, perhaps your core, could be guiding you toward a goal, down a path. Although it might feel like a goal or dream was birthed at your mind’s conscious level, your Higher Self could be calling the shots. Quitting would move you away from your purpose.

Someone Is Watching You

Someone is watching you. Think about it. Have you ever caught yourself watching someone?

Perhaps you were admiring the way they build effective teams, resolve conflicts, take creative ideas and mold them into enterprises that hold up for decades. Or you might have caught yourself admiring someone for the way they effectively juggle a busy family and operate a nonprofit organization that helps hundreds of people a year, all while maintaining optimum physical, mental and spiritual health. Well, just as you watch others, someone is watching you, perhaps admiring you and mimicking you.

You Could Be Close to a Breakthrough

More importantly, you could be an hour or days away from a huge breakthrough. Let’s say you have already put in 10 years of work, honing your craft or enhancing a product. For me, that’s writing novels, fleshing out characters, editing-editing-editing and then turning a manuscript over to a professional editor, then marketing and promoting daily until the story I wrote finds its readers. What’s the dream you’re working on?

Back to the 10-year example, throughout these 10 years, you’ve seen your share of trouble. Each time you felt inspired or motivated, believing that you were going to finally win in a big way, an unexpected setback appeared. The setback (e.g., economic shift, health issue, relationship breakup) might have demanded your attention to the point where you couldn’t focus on anything else.

What If Your Dream Is Closer Than You Think?

Ten years of that type of back and forth is a lot to keep pressing through. It’s understandable that you feel like quitting, but what if your huge breakthrough is closer than you think?

Other reasons not to quit include:

  • Quitting robs you of experiences. These are experiences that you will only enjoy after you accomplish what you set out to achieve.
  • Lessons that you learn on the success path can last a lifetime. You can also pass what you learn to your friends, family and beyond. But you have to succeed first. After all, people might not listen to you as fully as they can until after you succeed.
  • Your success motivates other people, shows others that they too can succeed. This is a powerful outcome. And you might not meet or become aware of all the people you’re accomplishments motivate. As an example, the fact that you didn’t quit and did yield the success you desired could encourage someone not to give up on their children who might be struggling with an issue right now. It could also encourage someone to exit an abusive relationship, trusting that a better life does, indeed, await them.

Become a Difference Maker

Regarding how your success motivates others, if you persist and commit to your dream, you could become a difference maker in your family. Nieces, nephews, cousins and siblings might dust off their own dreams, stirring up their courage and go on and step into a better life.

Yet, perhaps most importantly, by not quitting you open yourself up to bigger and better experiences. From where you are now, you cannot see just how far you could go. Right now, you can’t see every door that will open if you keep going. Neither can you see the many people who will come into your life, people you would never meet if you don’t succeed.

And yes, you will learn life lessons as you travel from success to success. Pursuing success will also change you. It’s been said that this may be one of the greatest success rewards.

Go Get It

You might have heard that even if you don’t fulfill your dream, you’ve won because, by pursuing your dream, you changed in rewarding ways. As comforting as this might sound, it wouldn’t be a stretch to think that, deep down, you want more than the inner change and the life lessons that come to you as you continue to pursue your dream.

What you want is to experience, breath and feel, what it is like to live with the success you may have started desiring when you were a kid. Simply acquiring life lessons and shifting internally is not what you got on this path for.

Good for you for wanting all of what you started on the success path to gain. The last thing you want is to come up short and be told “at least you tried” or “look how much you learned along the way”.

Keep going. Pivot. Make changes. Continue to learn. Be persistent, tenacious and committed. Don’t quit. You really can fulfill your dreams.

Take Advantage of the Temporary

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By Journal Writer and Novelist Denise Turney

temporary colorful bokeh lights
Photo by Andre Moura on Pexels.com

Love for happy times to last forever in this world? Wish that those sweet, loving moments in your romantic relationship would go on and on, without an end? Oh, if the good times lasted forever. If your favorite emotions and experiences stayed with you permanently while you journeyed through this world.

Most Of Your Journey

Yet, that’s not how it goes. Good times don’t last forever in this world, but neither do challenging times. That’s very good news. What do you think?

To make the most of your journey here, start taking advantage of the temporary. As a first step, approach situations with the mindset that, despite how much you like or don’t like an experience, it -won’t go unchanged. Accepting this could keep you from jumping from relationship to relationship, job to job, worship center to worship center and so on.

Admittedly, it took me years to learn that nothing last forever in this world. Here, everything changes. Look back over your life and you might see that, although you suspected this was the case, you didn’t really believe it.

In fact, you might have thought that there was a special person, great job, best town, etc. that you could connect with and enter a state of permanent bliss. Of course, you could keep looking. Over time, you might start to notice that you’re moving in circles, looking for a permanence here that doesn’t exist.

Options

Here are some ways that you could take advantage of the temporary. Whichever options you go with, keep an open mind. There may be nothing that helps you to stay in the flow better than an open mind.

  • Wake with a spirit and mindset of appreciation. A very simple way to pull this off is to raise your hands as soon as you wake and simply say, “Thank you!”
  • Consider the people who helped develop experiences that you enjoy. For example, before you head to an amusement park, concert, festival, etc., pause and think about the event organizers, promoters, ride builders, artists, etc. who helped bring the event from idea stage to reality. Let yourself appreciate how these people, whether they know each other or not, worked together to create an experience that you are about to absolutely love.
  • Be fully present when you are wherever you are. You will never be in that exact place in the same exact state/perception again. Even if the walls, ceiling, sky, grass and trees look the same, so much has changed since the last time that you were there.
  • Pause before you eat a meal. Instead of only speaking grace, actually see the farmers working the soil, planting seeds and tending to crop. And see truckers delivery produce and other food to stores. Visualize grocery store stockers and cashiers stocking shelves and checking you out of the grocery store line. All of this and more may have occurred before the meal you’re about to enjoy made it to your plate.
  • Give thought to doing the same as it regards other areas of your life. For instance, you could think about the engineers, technicians and factory workers who designed and built the automobile that you drive. Allow yourself to see the many different people who work hard to help you gain the experiences that you treasure and enjoy.

Appreciate Temporary Experiences

The above actions can help you to see more clearly how temporary experiences are. Additionally, the above actions could help you to live with much deeper appreciation. Keep at it, and you might start to marvel at what’s happening in your life.

Also, to take advantage of the temporary, coach yourself. Teach yourself that you won’t have forever in this world to take advantage of opportunities. This doesn’t mean that you go through every door you see. It’s smart to pause, pray and wait for Higher Guidance before you walk through an open door.

Once you receive an internal “green light”, take smart action. In other words, don’t stall and sit back and try to talk yourself out of what you want. Go for the right things! That open door you’re looking at right now might not stay open.

Life Without Regrets

This brings up an interesting point. Among the things that people say they regret when they are facing the end of their physical journey is the fact that they didn’t do what they really wanted to do while they were here. The end of the road is not the time to realize you didn’t live your own life.

It’s also not the time to finally accept that you spent your days sacrificing (doing what you thought others wanted or needed). If joy is your strength, you’re going to have to consider what causes you to experience joy. Then, you need to allow yourself to have these experiences.

Because joy and love go together, these will be experiences that are rooted in goodness. So, take advantage of good open doors, knowing that those opportunities might only be temporarily available to you. Athletes might get this lesson more frequently than others. Smart athletes know the importance of taking advantage of good opportunities as soon as they appear.

Look Up

On the flip side, taking advantage of the temporary means that you don’t get bogged down with focusing on challenges. You don’t let undesirable experiences shift your focus off of love. Another thing, you don’t live as if you expect a bad time or a challenge to last forever. As someone told me at a worship center years ago, “trouble don’t last always”.

Did I ever gain lots of encouragement from hearing her say that. It’s true; trouble doesn’t last forever. But neither do good times stay exactly the same forever here. You might be doing yourself a favor as you practice appreciation and steer clear of believing that trouble will last. Set yourself up for greater success by moving from opportunity to opportunity, refusing to bind yourself to a current or past “good experience”.

Strength for Your Journey: Moving Through Life Phases

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By Writer Denise Turney

a woman moving through life phases on a path between trees
Photo by Erik Mclean on Pexels.com

Pay attention and you may notice that you are moving through life phases. There is no way to avoid these phases. Shifts and phases are part of this world’s journey.

Read enough autobiographies, memoirs and biographies and you can spot how other people shift through phases. Even more, you might discover strategies to help you when you approach a phase that someone else found profoundly challenging (but got through) as you read autobiographies, memoirs and biographies.

Just What Are Life Phases?

When one phase ends, it is as though a part of you knows there is an approaching ending. The phase may or may not align to your biological age. It is worth paying attention to, because if you are struggling, it could be due to a phase ending.

However, with the right mindset and care for yourself, you can release the phase that is ending and move with grace into the approaching phase. Depending on the source, you might hear that there are four or five life stages. For example, Learning Mind1 lists the four life stages as:

  • Stage One – Basics (this is where you mimic what you see, hear and sense others doing)
  • Stage Two – Discovery (you are starting to learn who you are)
  • Stage Three – Priorities (during this stage, you start to set life priorities)
  • Stage Four – Finding Meaning (it is a time when you are preparing to pass along your legacy)

Taking a Closer Look at Life Phases

CNBC reports that there are five life stages.2 Like the Learning Mind stages, these stages align to your biological age. You might enjoy reading the stages in depth to see how they differ and if any stage resonates with you. It could lead to the beginning of a new self-discovery for you. Here are the stages that CNBC shares:

  • Stage One – Dreamer
  • Stage Two – Explorer
  • Stage Three – Builder
  • Stage Four – Mentor
  • Stage Five – Giver

In this case, the fourth and fifth stages bring to mind wealthy businessmen like John D. Rockefeller and Andrew Carnegie. These men spent decades amassing wealth only to give it away during their latter earthly years.

Which Stage Are You In?

Depending on your life experiences, you might find yourself moving through life phases that extend beyond the above four or five stages. As an example, Institute for Life shares that there are twelve life stages.3 But again, these stages align to biological age which might not actually be what is happening (more on that later).

Here is a final look at another set of life stages. These are the twelve life stages outlined by Institute for Life:

  • Rebirth – Potential
  • Birth – Hope
  • Infancy – Vitality
  • Early Childhood – Playfulness
  • Middle Childhood – Imagination
  • Late Childhood – Ingenuity
  • Adolescence – Passion
  • Early Adulthood – Enterprise
  • Midlife – Contemplation
  • Mature Adulthood – Benevolence
  • Late Adulthood – Wisdom
  • Death and Dying – Life

Because culture has profound influence on you, moving through life phases with grace can align with culture. You will certainly learn about moving through life phases by watching your elders. From your parents to your grandparents, great aunts, great uncles and great-grandparents, you are learning.

Culture and Life Shifts

It does not matter what your biological age is. You never stop learning. And as you learn, you teach.

At its basic level, culture is a combination of social norms, beliefs, traditions, arts and expression forms shared by a group of people. Baraka is a film by Ron Fricke that offers up-close, snapshots of distinct cultures. Watching Baraka or a similar film can open your eyes, helping you to see that your culture exists among many distinct cultures.

The way you live and what you believe are not common across the globe. It can be humbling to accept this. Or you can allow it to enlighten you.

As you become enlightened, you will again spot how everyone, regardless of culture, is moving through life phases. Looking back, see if you can spot when you were shifting. How did you do?

Support Through Phases

Did you realize you were moving through life phases? Were you gentle with yourself? Following are actions that could help you when you find yourself in a shift.

  • Read about life stages
  • Explore autobiographies, biographies and memoirs (they hold clues)
  • Travel to experience diverse cultures
  • Accept that your perceptions are not global. Millions of people thrive but do not share your life perceptions.
  • Gift yourself with patience. You are entering new territory. Give yourself time to adjust.
  • Journal what you are feeling, perceiving and experiencing.
  • Dance
  • Include laughter in your daily diet
  • Pursue peace instead of the goal to always be “right”
  • Accept that you never lose anything that is real or true, regardless of the phase you are in
  • Spend time with people who are in the phase you are living in as well as time with people who are living in different life phases

Stay free of trying to fit your life inside someone else’s perceptions or beliefs. It really is your life.

Timing of Life Phases

Moving through life phases might not happen according to your biological age. Should your childhood force you to step into adult roles early or realize that you are fully responsible for yourself at a time when others your age continue to believe that it is their parents’ function to be fully responsible for them, your age might have much less to do with the phase you are in.

If you have been practicing awareness through yoga, nature walks, meditation and stillness, you may spot a shift early. For instance, you might feel uncontented with a living or working situation that previously you accepted or appreciated.

Now, the situation causes you sorrow, confusion or regret. Back to John D. Rockefeller and Andrew Carnegie. During one phase of their lives, it may have seemed right to pursue money as if it were life’s singular purpose. While in another phase, this pursuit did not appear as valuable, wise or rewarding.

Strength for the Journey

Allow yourself to review how you are moving through life phases. Consider what you have learned. Think about when you thought you knew more than you did. How did letting go of the belief that you knew more than you did change your perceptions, impact those around you?

Did you become more open minded, or did you become angry, upset that the world did not stay the way it was when you were younger? Let go.

Life is big. You cannot control it.

Continue to move forward. As an eternal being, keep awakening and evolving. Invest in grieving the loss of a phase as it ends. And allow yourself to welcome and celebrate the new phase that you are entering. You may receive strength for the journey as you realize that countless others have been where you are.

Resources:

  1. 4 Stages of Life: Where Are You on the Journey? – Learning Mind (learning-mind.com)
  2. There are 5 stages of life—here’s what to do at every age ‘to minimize regrets,’ says life coach (cnbc.com)
  3. The 12 Stages of Life | Thomas Armstrong, Ph.D. (institute4learning.com)

How to Prevent Human Trafficking Today

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By Freelance Writer and Books Author Denise Turney

man s hand in shallow focus and grayscale photography plea to prevent human trafficking
Photo by lalesh aldarwish on Pexels.com

You can do more to help prevent human trafficking. Human trafficking is not a third world country problem. It’s also not limited to poor neighborhoods in developed countries. In fact, it could be happening right next door to where you live or a block over from where you live. And this raises a major way to prevent human trafficking.

Modern Slavery Can Happen Anywhere

Recognize that modern slavery can happen anywhere, in every type of neighborhood. Accepting this could help you to spot different forms of trafficking as well as signs that the crime is taking place near you.

As CNN shares, “Slavery can turn up in many forms, and closer to home than you might think.”1 Suburban homes, warehouses, major highways, airports, anywhere people are, there could be modern day slavery.

According to the World Economic Forum, 1 in 4 human labor trafficking victims is a child.2 Forms of trafficking include:

  • Labor (agriculture, manufacturing, retail, construction work, mining, etc.)
  • Forced marriage
  • Military combat
  • Selling counterfeit products
  • Drug smuggling
  • Forced organ donations
  • Prostitution

Listen to Real Life Stories

The number of people impacted by human trafficking is shocking. More than 140 million children have been a victim of this crime, with as many at 48% of child victims forced into labor being between 5 to 11 years old.

When victims speak out about their traumatic experiences with modern slavery, it sheds light on what’s happening right where we all live. Their story sharing exposes a hidden ugly fact about life in the world today.

Removing the cover is one of the best ways to face and deal with what is happening, is a start to doing what it takes to prevent human trafficking. If you want to help prevent human trafficking, consider listening to real life stories of victims.

How to Prevent Human Trafficking

You could also volunteer with an organization that supports people who have escaped modern day slavery. Becoming aware of signs of trafficking is another forward step. However, as you familiarize yourself with some of the signs, stay aware that trafficking could be occurring with a mile or less of where you live.

There is no certain type of person who is a victim, just as there is no certain type of person who commits this horrific crime. Therefore, should you spot a sign, do something. For example, you could call the National Human Trafficking Hotline (888-373-7888). Or you could call 911 (or your country’s emergency response number), Interpol, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (800-843-5678).

Look for These Signs

Although this list is not all inclusive, it reveals some indicators of forced work, be that work physical or sexual labor. Signs that modern day slavery is occurring include:

  • Withdrawal from family and friends
  • Missing school frequently or no longer attending school at all
  • Abrupt or significant change in behavior
  • Spike in fearfulness in a person
  • Not seeing someone for days, weeks or longer who you normally saw regularly
  • One or more people constantly with the person, as if ensuring that the person does not get free
  • Discomfort while speaking, as if they are repeating what someone is telling them to say
  • Dresses differently
  • Malnourished
  • Unexplainable change in living situation (i.e., lives in a filthy environment or a luxury environment)
  • Bruises and other injuries

More Specific Ways to Prevent Human Trafficking

Here are ways you could help prevent human trafficking or stop it from continuing. Raising awareness at your place of worship, school, on social media, etc. is one prevention step. Other steps include:

  • Watch your child’s online activity, as perpetrators solicit potential victims online.
  • Encourage companies to ensure they work to prevent human trafficking, not get involved in it by having products and/or services created by people forced into slave labor.
  • Call for help for someone you suspect of being trafficked. Do it in a safe way.
  • Shop responsibly, buying products or services, from organizations that deal in fair trade or work to stop forced labor.3
  • Mentor youth thru reliable, ethical organizations.
  • Spend quality time with the young people in your life. Perpetrators often target the emotionally vulnerable.
  • Write your government officials, letting them know that doing what it takes to prevent human trafficking is a priority to you.

Thank You

Should you meet a victim or a survivor, be an advocate. Above all, do something. For instance, you might cross paths with one or more victims while at lunch, shopping or while on vacation.

Sure. Getting involved, will change your life, even if only briefly. But your involvement could save someone’s life. It could be as simple as making a telephone call to 911, the FBI or the National Human Trafficking Hotline (888-373-7888). What you do could help someone heal from this awful adult and childhood trauma.

Clarissa Maxwell, in Escaping Toward Freedom, has to make this choice while she’s on vacation. The choice she makes cost her, but it’s worth it. Lives are changed, however hard the road. Hopefully, what happens in Escaping Toward Freedom sheds more light on the global trauma, encouraging people to take smart actions.

Thank you for what you do to prevent human trafficking.

Resources:

  1. A former child slave speaks: How to stop modern slavery | CNN
  2. How to stop modern slavery | World Economic Forum (weforum.org)
  3. Home – Fair Trade Certified

Danger of Keeping Small Town Secrets Across Generations

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By Freelance Writer and Books Author Denise Turney

empty concrete alleyway in small town
Passageway in Small Town – Photo by Simon Blyberg on Pexels.com

Small town secrets grow like uncontrollable weeds. Their sting is as painful as gossip, yet worse. Unlike gossip, these secrets have a deep, dangerous root. Sexual crimes committed by a star athlete, the whereabouts of a missing person and the deception that a woman is a child’s aunt when she’s actually the child’s mother – those are but a few misplaced confidences with lasting impact.

Small Towns with Old Histories

Other real life skeletons people living in small towns, especially towns with old histories, work hard to keep hidden have affected hundreds of children and adults. Danger associated with these mysteries is what drives people to keep them hidden. If you grew up in a small town that’s known for keeping events in the dark, a few of these mysteries might sound familiar:

  • College hazing that went too far, causing the death of a student, but no one going to trial because the death was ruled an accident and the crime was never properly investigated
  • Neighbor installing hidden camera in a home then using taped information to blackmail the homeowner for acts as simple as showering, relieving themselves and making out with a town schoolteacher
  • Corruption that stems back two or more generations, putting dishonest law enforcement and other government officials in place to keep the corruption going
  • Drugs taking over an entire town, destroying families and businesses while community leaders do nothing to stop the drug infiltration because they’re receiving kickbacks from dealers
  • A handful of business owners meeting and deciding which new businesses will open in the town, cooking up reasons to disallow the strongest competitors from setting up shop
  • Two married people have a lengthy affair, creating a child from the relationship, only to lie to the child about his real parents, not once telling their son their biological connection to him. People who know about the affair and who the child’s real parents are, never tell the child, not even after the child reaches adulthood.

Shocking Small Town Secrets

It’s these types of secrets that get the wrong men and women arrested, that leave children with more questions than answers and that prevent real growth from happening to the town. Believe it or not, some small town secrets are more outlandish and traumatic than those unearthed in large cities.

The real shocker is that small towns with big secrets can look “perfect” from the outside. Everybody knows everybody. Instead of passing one another on the sidewalk without speaking while out shopping, townsfolk stop, wave and chat with each other awhile.

If you didn’t know better, the entire town would look and feel like one big, happy family. Stay in the place long enough and you start to notice relationships and events that are off, that just don’t feel right. You spot a prominent business owner entering a hotel at the edge of town with a minister’s wife only to tell his own wife that he and the minister’s wife are mapping out the details of the summer’s vacation Bible school.

Everyone Knows What You Keep Lying About

Everyone in town knows the businessman rarely goes to church, but no one questions the lie. The chance to live in a place where wrong, particularly seemingly unforgiveable wrongs, don’t occur seems like sufficient motivation to lie, deny the facts and support tragic secrets.

At their worse, small town secrets can conceal a murder. Destroyed evidence, bribes paid to a coroner and a judge and threats made to those seeking the truth, can do more than hide facts. Acts like these can ensure that the wrong man goes to prison.

But why do people tell lies or keep secrets, especially dangerous hidden facts? Desire to mask their own indiscretions is a primary reason. Fear of retaliation from powerful people is another.

Together these two can create a web that’s hard to get untangled from. Greasy Plank in Memphis, Tennessee is a town of secrets, dark mysteries. Religion won’t save Greasy Plank residents.

Break Free

If you grew up keeping secrets, it might be time to break free. Doing so can release positive energy, allowing you to start and finish work you’ve wanted to do for years, but never seemed to find the strength to get to.

Here are more rewards associated with letting small town secrets go, float away like rocks moving down river:

  • Restored relationships with people wrongly suspected of crimes
  • Freedom from unforgiveness
  • Independence from resentment and suspicion
  • Healing from trauma
  • Innocent children and adults regaining their honor

And most of all, wrongs finally made right. Oh, and another advantage. You can sleep at night, your mind lighter from no longer having to carry heavy secrets. Tammy Tilson in Spiral fights for these rewards, for herself and her family, but she has a lot to lose if she tells what she knows.

Her choice to keep small town secrets has a very high price. Yet, that’s the way it goes when you try to hide the truth. Should you be keeping secrets, especially from yourself, consider the weight you’re carrying. See if you can find a way into the light of the truth. You might be able to do it in a way that frees up more people than you know without causing more trauma, more harm.

Resources:

  1. Small Town Secrets – NBC Boston

Achieving Real Success While Living Through Change

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By Books Author and Freelance Writer Denise Turney

man upset about change pushing carton boxes with negative words to avoid real success
Photo by SHVETS production on Pexels.com

Real success is birthed in adaptability. Unfortunate events, ranging from scams, sickness, relationship problems and job stress, can stop your progress if you let them. To stay sharp, you have to adapt. This applies to good change too. After all, it’s not just undesirable experiences that create emotional and behavioral challenges.

This is due, in part, to how your brain works. Your brain is a complex organ that works hard to protect you. At first glance, that may sound like a win-win. Yet, it comes with results that could produce mental blocks and resistance to change.

Thrive – Getting Beyond Survival

Forbes puts it this way, “The key aim of the brain is survival.” Furthermore, “unpredictability and uncontrollability, in particular, create a malicious combination with which our brain finds it extremely difficult to deal. This in return further elevates stress levels and produces undesirable emotions that we would rather avoid.”1

Should this happen, you might feel a range of emotions. Even more, your perceptions about the world, people and relationships could shift, maybe improve or become disruptive. If you struggle during change, your heartbeat might hasten. Or your appetite might shift significantly. Other changes you could experience include temporary memory fog (where you find it difficult to remember people’s names, etc.), a harder time focusing, lack of engagement or connectivity.

Although these experiences may be related to challenges in adjusting to undesirable change, they could also occur if you undergo change after you receive something that you’ve long wanted. Today’s world offers countless opportunities to improve your adaptability skills, positioning yourself to smoothly leap change hurdles and enjoy real success.

Signs You Resist Change

Resisting change can feel magical, like a trick. You convince yourself that you can stop change. And if you can’t stop change, you tell yourself that you can limit the impact that change has on you. The problem is you’re living in a world of constant change.

Keep resistance to change up and you might exhaust yourself. Even more, you’ll stop yourself from experiencing sustained real success. More pronounced signs that you resist change include:

  • You stop showing up for projects, relationship conversations, financial talks, etc. that require change
  • Negativity becomes your trademark
  • Nostalgia is a dominant emotion you experience
  • When you consider “good times,” you’re thinking about the past
  • Gossiping about leaders championing change becomes normal for you
  • “This is the way we’ve always done things” is a familiar phrase you speak

If the this was a world where very little changed second-by-second, your resistance may yield a reward. But because the world is always changing, constantly, this type of resistance doesn’t pay off in good ways.

Tips to Achieve Real Success with Change

Here are specific ways to achieve real success while living with change. If you resist change, consider adding two or more of these actions into your day.

  • Learn something new every day. Practicing awareness is a quick learning path. Simply pay attention to what’s happening inside of you and around you.
  • Break a habit once a quarter. Train your brain to expect and smoothly adjust to change.
  • Monitor your results. For example, if you’re improving your budget and dealing with rising rent, you could identify two to three expenses that you could reduce or eliminate to counter the increase, so you’re overall monthly expenses remain flat or potentially lower. Track how you’re staying free of spending money in these two three areas.
  • Stay curious. You were curious as a kid; revisit the practice.
  • Create new solutions to deal with change. This could help you break habits that produce unwanted results.
  • Be honest. Accept what you see and keep adjusting until you’re living the life you want.
  • Meditate and move outdoors. These two steps can calm your brain.
  • Read good books and get sufficient quality sleep each night.

You Can Do It!

Anywhere you go, there’s change. Even if you stick to a routine religiously, you will encounter change. There are job changes that range from workload to types of work you do. Rising rents might motivate you to move. Then, there are relationship changes from breakups to makeups to new relationships.

The list goes on. On top of that, some changes are temporary, allowing you to bounce back to a former state. Other changes, like a loved one transitioning, are permanent. As you go through change, it may help to remember that none of us is in control of the universe.

Additionally, it might be helpful to remember that you are always loved and cared for. This is one of the harder truths to remember when you’re moving through great change. The good news is that, as previously shared, you can achieve real success while navigating change. Here’s to your success!

Resources
1. How To Optimize The Brain’s Response To Change (forbes.com)

Signs Someone in Your Family is Your Best Friend

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By Freelance Writer and Book Author Denise Turney

two family friends laughing at each other
Photo by Laura Stanley on Pexels.com

It’s sweet when someone in your family is your best friend, especially if you grew up with this relative. Know them since you were a toddler and you have loads of history. You’ve been there for each other nearly every step of the way.

The Best Friend Who Makes You Feel Accepted

Because you know each other so well, there’s often no need to explain your opinions, beliefs or ambitions to them. Another gain is that you don’t have to work to be your “authentic self” while you’re with your family friend. Hanging out with them is a great way to feel accepted, like you belong.

That alone is strength, is empowering.

Despite these advantages, you might not think of a relative as your best friend. Even more, you might not know who in your family is your best friend. That person could be your parent, an aunt, an uncle, cousin, grandparent or a sibling.

Signs Someone in Your Family is Your Best Friend

They might even be someone who became part of your family through marriage. Signs a relative is your best friend include:

  • You laugh a lot when you’re with them, the knee slapping rib busting kind of laughing
  • Sharing a secret with them is easy
  • When you’re with them, you feel loved
  • Your energy shifts into a better space when you two are together
  • Going days without communicating with them isn’t something you want to do
  • If you’re in a jam, they are among the first people you call
  • Both of you turn to each other for advice
  • Vacationing together is fun
  • Family get togethers are events you look forward to as it gives you a chance to hang out someone in your family who is your best friend

You’re Not Alone

A friend keeps you from feeling like you’re alone in the world. Having just one person in your life who makes you feel like you belong can boost your confidence and give you hope. When you feel like you belong, you can also:

  • Reduce your stress levels
  • Improve your sense of worth
  • Sleep better at night
  • Face mistakes you’ve better with confidence
  • Realize how alike you are to other people
  • Cope with challenges better
  • Avoid feeling deep loneliness
  • Live life with a sense of support
  • Feel empowered to ask for help
  • Know someone loves being with you, loves your company

Someone in Your Family You Trust

This world is full of ups and downs, constant change. It’s impossible to know what’s coming next every second of every day. To get through the world’s ongoing shifts, you might need to talk with someone you trust, you might need to talk through plans with someone who has your best interest at heart. A family member who’s your best friend gives you a quick ear, someone to bounce ideas off.

When someone in your family is your best friend, you also have someone you trust who you can discuss personal issues with. Instead of calling or texting a neighbor, colleague or classmate and hoping that they won’t spread intimate details you share with them, when a family member is your best friend, you can relax and know what you share won’t become gossip.

After all, you’ve both shared private details with each other for years. If neither of you has ever shared these private details with another relative, there’s a comforting shelter of trust that when you ask, “please don’t tell anyone else” your request will be honored.

Family Friends Offer Relationship Stability

When you’re sharing dating details, relationship troubles, vacation exploits and fun and games with your relative friend, it could all end in laughter. Let misfortune arise, something like a bad health diagnosis, and don’t be surprised if you weep absent embarrassment with your relative friend.

You might ask them to accompany you to your future doctor visits. It could be a good way to shield yourself from emotional and psychological hurt. And again, having this relative friend with you could keep you from feeling alone.

The older you get — or put another way, the more time you spend in this world — the more you might see the value in relationships. Even in this ever-changing world, good relationships offer the most stability.

So, consider letting the person in your family who is your best friend know how much you appreciate them. Tell them how happy you are that, in addition to being family, they care enough to be your best friend. It’s what makes family real sweet.

How to Help African American Women with Breast Cancer

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By Inspirational Books Author Denise Turney

photo of smiling african american woman with natural hair holding white flower
Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

There is something about sickness and death that can make you want to hide, keep what’s happening to you secret. Yet, hiding and living with anxiety and fear doesn’t stop the progression of a disease. Facing a disease like breast cancer doesn’t make the process easier either, but it can lead to healing. If you reach out and do research, you’ll find that there is help for African American women with breast cancer.

Actions to Help African American Women with Breast Cancer

As with other diseases, education is a good start. Organizations like Sisters Network, Inc., Black Women’s Health Imperative, African American Breast Cancer Alliance and Susan G. Komen for the Cure offer educational materials you can read and learn more about what might be happening to your body. The American Cancer Society shares research work on prevention, treatments, childhood cancer and how the disease responds to other issues like COVID.

Regarding the power of knowledge, among the actions to help African American women with breast cancer, there is:

  • Virtual and in-person training to help reduce fear, as you become aware of what to expect during testing, treatment and recovery
  • Sharing the importance of performing monthly self-breast exams (a lot of women discover breast irregularities during self-exams)
  • Knowledge about what happens during mammograms, including questions to ask screeners and your physician
  • Information on where to get free mammogram screenings and other breast cancer support free of charge

Training and Prevention, Healing for African American Women with Breast Cancer

In addition to knowledge, training is important. You may need training to perform monthly self-exams effectively. Regular monthly self-breast exams can be performed in the shower or in another private area. After performing several exams, it will be easier to notice changes in the shape or feel of your breasts.

This leads to more ways to help African American women with breast cancer. Some of the ways had been previously mentioned. They are other support actions include:

  • Training from a healthcare practitioner (Your OBGYN is a great start. It’s important to partner with an OBGYN who you feel comfortable talking to about your body.)
  • Monthly self-breast exams (Getting to know your body is important.)
  • Mammograms (The American Cancer Society and The National Cancer Institute can help you find resources to get free or low-cost mammograms. Additionally, your OBGYN might know where you can get free or low-cost mammograms. Some employers also provide free exams.)
  • Treatment options (Discuss treatment options, including financial support that may be available for treatment options.)
  • Diet (A lot can change when you discover you have a disease like breast cancer. Path to healing might come, in part, through diet. Consider working with a dietician to learn how what you feed your body affects your overall health, including your emotional health.)

You Caring Means a Lot

If you’re a relative or friend of someone who’s dealing with breast cancer, your care means a lot. Just knowing that you care and are willing to invest the time and support to help a friend with breast cancer means a lot.

Of all the ways to help African American women with breast cancer simply being there, over the long run, might be an immeasurable gift. More ways that you could help are to:

  • Offer rides to doctor visits
  • Drive your relative or friend to and from treatments
  • Help care for or babysit young children
  • Attend support group meetings with your relative or friend
  • Pray with and for your friend
  • Cook meals for your friend. You could even prepare meals that are stored in the freezer, so all your friend has to do is put enough food in the oven to dine on for a day.

Get Permission and Keep Reaching Out

Because each person is different, get your family member’s or friend’s permission to help. However, if you see your friend or family member is struggling and trying to go it alone, continue to offer support. Calling and stopping by your relative’s or friend’s home just to say “Hello” is a way to show that you’re there and willing to be a support.

Just being there and listening is such a gift. Organizations that help African American women with breast cancer are in the resources section below. There are many other organizations that you can turn to, including local organizations, that help African American women with breast cancer. Some of these organizations might be affiliated with a local hospital or treatment center.

Resources:

  1. Sisters Network Inc. – https://www.sistersnetworkinc.org
  2. Black Women’s Health Imperative – https://bwhi.org
  3. African American Breast Cancer Alliance – http://aabcainc.org
  4. American Cancer Society – https://www.cancer.org
  5. Susan G. Komen for the Cure – https://www.komen.org