Musings from author Denise Turney on writing, including freelance, marketing, self-help, nonfiction and journal writing. Here you will find book marketing tips as well as advice on places where you can go to sharpen your craft and network with other writers, including novelists. You’ll also find places where you can network with readers, editors, publishers and literary agents.
Woman Celebrating Success Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com
Love and success are part of your natural DNA. Yet you have to be willing to receive these blessings. Fortunately, there is never a reason to delay receiving either. It’s worth noting that love and success are not in the past or in the future.
Receive Love and Success Now
They are just not there. Instead, they are in the present, where the point of power is. There is no past. There is no future. This instant is the only time where you can make a change. Now!
Don’t put off taking the actions that can bring you the change you want. This instant is the only time that you can bring change into your life. If you think about it, you’ll see – there really is no future. And you can’t go back to the past. You can change everything right now! Right now, you can see yourself where you want to be, having the amazing experiences that you want. Don’t see yourself there in the future – See yourself there RIGHT NOW!
That’s power! Why don’t you use that power to make the choices that insulate you in peace and joy! You can do it right now! Nothing anywhere can stop you! Seeking an example?
Mulukan accepted her point of power when she was six-years old. She walked away from the only safety that she knew, the people she had grown up with, the only people she had known.
Make History
That choice led her through arduous experiences, ones that found her contemplating quitting on her entire life. At the instant when all seemed lost, as if she would only fail, Mulukan received help from the most unlikely places.
Fortunately, for Mulukan, she was still at a place where it was easy for her to trust. Choice by choice in the point of power (this very instant), she made it from abject poverty into her marvelous destiny! She could have stayed where her physical eyes told her it was safe and ended up drowning in misery, boredom and complacency. That’s not what Mulukan chose. Her courageous choice saw her become the first woman president of a country in Africa.
Ready for love and success? Ready to see yourself there RIGHT NOW? Do this for 3 to 5 minutes a day – REALLY see yourself where you want to be and watch what happens!
You can read about Mulukan’s story in Long Walk Up.
By Freelance Writer and Books Author Denise Turney
Do you know what one of the hardest parts of death is? You know, you absolutely know, that you cannot go back and change a single thing.
Love Pour Over Me Book Cover Graphic
If you’re reading this, you might be nodding in agreement at that point, especially if you recently experienced the death of someone dear to you. In fact, desire to say or do something different as it regards that loved one might be disrupting your peace.
Living Free of Past Painful Childhood Illusions
But here’s the thing. It may be an illusion that you can change a single iota of the past just because you’re still breathing, even events from a painful childhood. Ever. The past really is done. It’s over. It passes moment by moment . . . day by day.
With that truth in mind, how would you change your life right now? How would you relate to the person you’re avoiding, the person whose opinion you value so much it hurts each time you imagine that they disapprove of you? Which ways would you treat a colleague, in-law, neighbor, blood relative or former friend if you knew that nothing you say or do can ever be erased?
Would you continue plotting how you’re going to get even with your spouse or beau because they forgot your birthday, took credit for work you did or wouldn’t back down during an argument? If possible, would you tell your child how much she irritates or frustrates you again? And would you remain committed to hardening your heart?
Choose this and you’ll be choosing to drag unforgiveness, not to mention unresolved trauma, around. Why would you choose to do this?
Signs That You’re Stuck in a Painful Childhood
As it regards a painful childhood, if you could, how would you change your present life? What behavior and thought patterns would you change now? How would you create a better past for yourself, a past you would always be at peace recalling?
If you’re stuck in the past, you may need to work with a professional or practice intentional self-care to break free. Types of past events that you could be hooked on include the death of a parent, a romantic relationship breakup, a job layoff or a natural disaster that destroyed your home.
Signs that you’re living in a past that’s rooted in a painful childhood include:
Clinging to people or objects (hoarding)
Irrational fears
Emotional outbursts
Difficulty feeling or expressing healthy emotion
Inability to form close, enriching relationships may be another sign that you’re dragging a regrettable past experience around in your psyche.
It’s time to stop. Dragging the past around comes at a high price. It works like a contaminant that erodes present-day encounters. To say it’s a joy and peace thief is an understatement.
Choosing Life
If you’re afraid and don’t want to examine a regrettable past firsthand, empower yourself by taking a peek at someone else’s life. Get an account of the depth of damage continuing to live in the past causes. You’re probably already doing this, sizing up the impact of your parents’, grandparents’, church members’ and friends’ choices.
It’s easy to see where these people went wrong. But being a spectator leaves you on the sidelines, keeps you from moving forward. Raymond Clarke learns this lesson the hard way in Love Pour Over Me. All he can see are his father’s and his mother’s awful mistakes, how they hurt him, how they set him up for a hard life.
Stop Running from the Past
Then, Raymond decides to run as far away from his past as possible. If you’re running from your past, you’re probably wondering how it’ll work out. You’re probably wondering if it’s truly possible to run far enough away from old memories and old feelings to live free of a painful childhood.
For Raymond, freedom doesn’t come until he revisits the past in an honest, healthy way. Are you ready to go back? Are you ready to revisit the hard spots in your life that are arresting your development? Give yourself the chance to learn how to truly break free of the past and accept real love right now.
Road to Freedom
Ways to get free start with acknowledging that you’re living in the past. Other actions toward freedom include:
Journaling about past experiences that stir up anger, fear and sorrow
Writing down your dreams and seeing if they offer guidance toward freedom
Forgiving people who mistreated you
Working with a reputable, experienced and licensed professional
Looking out for yourself from this day forward
Trusting yourself and taking new, loving chances
Prove you love yourself the way you wish others had proven that they loved you. After all, you’re in the driver seat now. Treat yourself good.
It feels thrilling to know that you’re right. You feel like you’ve won, as if you’ve outwitted someone else. On top of that, you might feel as if you’re better than another person. Good feelings aside, striving to be right is a trap. There’s just too much you don’t know. Try enough new things and you’ll see that you don’t know everything.
Accepting that is freeing. After all, when you’re proven wrong, it feels as if you’ve had something taken from you, as if you actually lost something. Although you could hide it, you might feel small. You could feel like you need to protect yourself.
What do you believe about yourself?
Fear associated with being proven wrong affects every facet of life. It’s why parents, psychologists, business leaders and human resources specialists guide in private and praise in public. Anthony Robbins, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, Lisa Nichols, Les Brown and other thought leaders reference this when they talk about the scarcity belief.
Our ego is always on the lookout for a potential threat. The ego is always on the lookout for what it thinks might attack or take away from it, believing that loss is actually possible.
Then, our ego creates defense systems (i.e., disassociation, aggression) as a way to protect itself and to avoid change. None of the ego’s defense systems work. They can become addictive. They can also make sickness, but help and heal, they cannot do.
What are your beliefs keeping you from?
Believing that you know everything is an ego defense. But think about what this does. Thinking that you know everything about a person, an organization, a situation or the past, present or future keeps you from:
Lasting, positive change
Internal advancement
Enlightenment
Awakening to truth
Accepting new ideas and thoughts
Peace and joy
Sense of truth fulfillment
What you really want
Better, more rewarding relationships
Feeling safe
As a writer or book publisher, thinking that you know everything could be the reason why you haven’t received ideas on how you can connect with more readers, generate more book sales or write better stories. Keep in mind that the ego is always on the lookout for a threat. It is always seeking a way to protect itself. One of the best ways that the ego avoids threat is by keeping you bound (away from real change) and stagnant. It does this at conscious and unconscious levels. Fear is its primary tool.
Signs that the ego is at work
If you feel angry, attacked, ridiculed, embarrassed or small when someone corrects something that you said or did, your ego may be in full effect. If you feel afraid to speak in public, introduce yourself to someone or reach out for help, your ego could be telling you that you don’t have enough value to do those things.
They are lies.
Art, particularly writing, is an area where the ego gets tested regularly.
As a writer, you are going to receive feedback on your work. If you’re afraid of feedback, you may refuse to work with an editor. Okay. So, don’t work with an editor. You’ll hear from readers and book reviewers instead. But you are going to get feedback and you probably won’t like all of it.
Accept that nothing can change God’s will. Nothing can change what God created or how God created anything. God created you perfect. You do not have to know everything. You cannot lose anything. Your worth cannot diminish.
Move forward with an open mind. Accept when you are wrong, knowing that your ideas and decisions are not YOU. The more open you are to accepting feedback, the better your works may become. Being open to feedback can help you to remove blinders. It can help you to develop the types of stories that readers appreciate. It can position you for greater success. Remember. You don’t have to know everything, especially if you trust the One who does.
Track and field sports greats crossing finish line
By Books Author Denise Turney
Sports greats invest years of razor-sharp focus, commitment and practice into their chosen field. Their performances do more than grab our attention. They make life’s challenges feel less arduous. Don’t think so? Ever catch your gaze glued to the television screen, caught up in the back and forth of a sports competition?
Acrobatic end zone catches, the pass you thought your favorite wide receiver could never make but did. The perfect somersault landing that your top gymnast scored. A track and field competitor’s stride opening like a gazelle’s, allowing the middle-distance runner to win another Olympic gold medal.
It’s hard to ignore incredible sports feats. No wonder you find it impossible to turn away from the television. You don’t want this suspended amazement to end. Live vicariously through sports greats and you could go on winning indirectly forever watching professional sports, college competitions and open races at events like the Penn Relays.
Sports great addiction
While you are glued to a sports competition, you probably forget about a struggle at work, an argument that you had with your beau or a bill that just came in the mail you know you don’t have the money to pay. That alone can make tuning into spots addictive.
After all, who doesn’t want to forget their problems? Yet, sports greats, the best of the gladiators, are human. If they entered their field with a one-track mind, by the time they invest 10 years into their sport, it’s highly unlikely that they still have a one-track mind.
Barry Sanders, Justine Henin, Jim Brown and Lorena Ochoa are sports greats who proved they didn’t have a one-track mind. Jim Brown went into acting and took up social struggles. Barry stepped into a well-balanced life. At least that what it looks like from the outside. Yet, it might be the fact that sports heroes actually think about something other than sport that alarms spectators most.
Why sports greats let you down
You also might want sports greats to entertain you more, longer. It’s as if you think they let you down when they chose to pursue a different goal. It’s this bitter taste that Raymond Clarke can leave in you, especially if you’re an avid sports fan.
You watch sports greats like Raymond Clarke, a major player in Love Pour Over Me, work hard to reach the top of their game. They push past some of life’s hardest challenges. You watch these sports greats keep going no matter what. Admit it. You root for them. Forget personality flaws. You want your favorite athletes to win.
And then, just when you thought they were on track to win for another five years, they up and retire. They quit the sport that they’ve loved since they were a kid, the very sport that you still love, but only from the sidelines.
Why it’s so hard to let sports greats retire
It’s hard to digest that you might spend the rest of your days trying to figure out why a sports great walked away from the game too soon. Think about it. It happened with Barry Sanders and Jim Brown, to name two sports greats.
Sports commentators and fans still try to figure out why Barry and Jim walked away from football when they did. It’s almost as if we want the right to tell sports greats when they can retire. That time would never be before you’re emotionally and psychologically ready.
Wikimedia Commons – GNU Free Documentation License
The best experiences in this world still seem to showcase the illusion that there’s a dance between light and darkness. Sweet dreams are challenged by family departures, political upheaval, economic crisis and relationship disappointments. By the time you do fulfill a dream or reach the top of a long term goal, you might feel fatigued.
Getting to the top is only part of the path
Then, there’s the work of maintaining the levels of success that you worked hard to gain. If you earn an income as an athlete and you’ve been competing for longer than 15 years, you know how hard it is to accept that, despite how hard you work out or despite how many mental exercises, including meditation, that you engage in, you’re aging body is changing in ways that will soon force you away from the sport you love so much.
It happens to parents who invest years into their children only to stand at the edge of the front yard and watch those same children, now grown adults, drive away from the house that they grew up in for the last time. Intervals between change, times when you feel or sense that something is about to happen that you have no control over, can be tough.
Letting go is part of this world’s dance
You’ve got it. Life in this world is a series of “embraces” and “let gos“. It’s the “let gos” that can make it feel like darkness is dancing with light. You win to let go of the life experiences that made you feel like you were on top.
If you’re like Raymond Clarke, the main character in the novel Love Pour Over Me, you might seek the safest life possible as an attempt to avoid having to let go of someone or something you love. For Raymond, the dance started early, when Raymond was only two years old.
Continuing to move forward – advance; keep loving
That’s when Raymond’s mother abandoned him, leaving him to fend for himself while he grew up with his father, Malcolm. After Raymond’s mother abandon’s him, Malcolm sinks deep into untreated alcoholism. It’s at this point that Raymond becomes much more than a son. It’s at this point that Raymond becomes a target for his father’s disappointments, rage, fear and hurt.
It’s a miracle that Raymond survives, but survive Raymond does. Yet, a hard childhood has left Raymond with emotional and psychological wounds. Raymond carries these wounds with him to university in Pennsylvania. As much as Raymond seeks to conceal his wounds, they seep into his relationships, especially his closest relationships.
Choices to more happiness require insight as Raymond Clarke learns in the book, Love Pour Over Me. Getting to more happiness also requires courage.
It’s easy to get stuck in patterns. Before you know it, you start to believe that without patterns (even the wrong patterns), you won’t survive.
Before you know it, you think that being unhappy is normal.
You Can Be Happy – You Deserve Happiness
Explore what causes you to experience happiness. A journal is a good friend to bring along on this exploration.
Write down experiences that cause you to feel angry, afraid, hopeful, under illusion or way too damned dreamy. Also, write down experiences that find you feeling free, light hearted, unafraid and happy.
Listen to friends, colleagues, family and neighbors when they say things like “You seem happy” or “You seem really excited about that”. What are you doing or talking about when people who know you make those comments? It could be a clue to what may bring you more happiness.
Pay Attention to Others for More Happiness Clues
Consider experiences that make most people happy. Reducing work hours, exercising, meditating and singing have long made people happy. So too does participating in a positive hobby (i.e. painting, sculpting, singing, acting, model plane flying) and attending group discussions. Other common activities that induce happiness include soaking in a warm bath, listening to beautiful, soothing music, nature walks, writing in a journal and dancing.
Who knows? Insight could pop up as you are engaging in one of the above activities.
If something deep within directs you to take a specific action, pray about it. Be willing to take action if your True Self directs you to do so. You may not want to get into the habit of resisting taking action on ideas that surface from deep within yourself. Excellence at resisting change could block you from receiving the very experiences that could find you enjoying more happiness.
Be willing to start small if you find yourself resisting change. Take one step that leads you toward what you want and give yourself time to adjust to the change, before you take a larger step, if needed. It’s also important that you remember that parts of you may still be resisting change. This may happen because a part of you thinks a new experience may be just like a previous experience that turned out negatively.
Above all, keep moving forward, again with patience.
Being patient is a sign that you love yourself. Practicing self-love may find you more open to making and taking action on greater choices that lead to more happiness. Stay on the path. There’s no reason why you can’t enjoy the love and happiness that Raymond Clarke steps into as he stays on his path in Love Pour Over Me.
Real love is the most desired element in creation and yet, we often think about love through the lens of its complete opposite — fear. Real love quotes are often tinted with fear. Don’t think so? How about, “Real love is always chaotic,” “When love is real, it doesn’t lie, cheat, pretend, hurt you or make you feel unwanted. It’s supposed to be a cure to all your worries,” and “A person that truly loves you will never let you go, no matter how hard the situation is.”
Real Love Doesn’t Happen In The Past
It’s hard to find someone who hasn’t been burned by what they thought was real love in the past. Guess what? It is past experiences and past memories that hold us back from receiving real love. We keep expecting the past to repeat itself.
If you think about everything that you’re scared of, the common denominator might be that the fear is rooted in something that happened in the past. Scared to be abandoned or to feel as if someone else was “chosen” over you?
Were you picked last to join school sports teams? Did a friend choose to play with someone else instead of you when you were a kid? Did a parent transition, walk out or not keep in touch following a divorce?
Fear of rejection or abandonment could worsen if you experienced one or more of the above (or a similar event) several times as a child then experienced a hard breakup as an adult. That includes getting cheated on, manipulated, used or lied to.
What if you’re walking around constantly telling yourself that if you let anyone get close to you the past hurtful experiences will only happen again? How close do you think you’d let people get to you?
When you think about it, it’s a warped form of self-love. It’s also proof that we cannot protect ourselves and open up to love at the same time. There’s too much that we don’t know. There’s too much that we miss.
In fact, as we try to protect ourselves, we could end up blocking or pushing love away.
Just because you’re in a relationship that doesn’t mean that you aren’t avoiding real love. To keep from feeling alone, you could feel desperate to always be in a relationship, but choose partners who mistreat you, people who, like you, are also afraid of love.
Take time to examine your relationships. It’s time well spent. After all, as Real Love by Mary J. Blige says, we’re all looking for real love.
Are they healthy? Do you feel afraid of being abandoned, chosen last, over looked or hurt by your partner? Did anything in the past happen to you that created these emotions?
You could be dragging the past into each present second, and not be aware that you’re living in the past.
As Raymond Clarke learns in Love Pour Over Me, real love and good living require faith and trust. If you’re doing what Raymond was doing in Love Pour Over Me and trying to avoid relationships or closeness, consider trusting that you’ll be cared for by the Creator, your Higher Self or the universe (whichever term you prefer).
By Denise Turney – African American Fiction Author of Love Pour Over Me
Pic by Daniel Schwen – Wikimedia Common
Stephen King offered excellent advice when he encouraged writers to create stories for themselves first. Put aside concerns that you have to develop certain plots, character deficiencies or shocking dialogue to attract readers. Unleash your subconscious mind and write your best book.
Start with a technique that works for you. This is key. What works for another writer may not work for you. An author who I interviewed on Off The Shelf Book Talk Radio kept saying that she was struggling with finishing her latest novel.
She’d decided to follow someone’s advice, let go of her usual novel writing technique and write as she said “by the seat of the pants”. This was an author who easily knocked out novellas within two weeks. She abandoned her normal writing technique and was struggling.
Techniques that you could write a great novel with include outline, character sketches, write a paragraph that reveals the moral of the story or identify the book’s plot. After you identify the book’s plot, write down scenes that you will use to climax up to the plot as well as scenes that will make the plot believable, even if you are writing science fiction.
Write regularly. I will never forget New York Times bestselling author, Walter Mosley, sharing that writing is mainly subconscious. Writing regularly can make it easier for you to access your subconscious when you sit down to create your best book.
You don’t have to write on a novel every day. You can respond to writing prompts. Other ways to write every day include journaling, writing poetry, working on short stories or writing articles and blog posts.
Read great books. But, don’t read to copy another author’s style. It is your personal style that readers want to enjoy. Every great book is not a bestseller. There are great books that don’t garner 1,000 sales, which goes back to author Stephen King’s advice.
Let yourself get into the story, really into the heart of the story. As you write the first draft, let your imagination flow. Wait until you have written the first draft before you start editing your novel. Don’t be surprised if your subconscious mind gives you surprising clues or scenes to write.
Some writers receive dreams about characters who they are writing about. Other writers may dream about a twist to take with a plot. This may not happen unless you let yourself get into the story. Exercising your passion for writing may well be the number one way to write your best book. You can focus on marketing and promoting your book after the first draft is written.
Ohio, also known as the Buckeye state, is a Midwestern state that has helped determine presidential elections for years. Like neighboring Indiana, Ohio has a fair share of small cities. From these small cities (and larger Ohio towns) have come some of the world’s greatest achievers in business, society, politics, arts and sports.
Granville T. Woods, William H. Bennett, James Ritty and Orville Wright are great inventors who were born in Ohio. LeBron James, Pete Rose, Edwin Moses and Coach Chuck Noll are people who have had a significant impact in the sports arena who were born in Ohio. And who can forget Erma Bombeck, Toni Morrison, Rita Dove, Dorothy Dandridge, Clara Ward and Paul Laurence Dunbar, great artists who are Ohio natives.
Check out these pictures of just a few things that make Ohio great!
Orville Wright House in Dayton, Ohio (The city is also home to the Paul Laurence Dunbar House which is located in West Dayton – tours are available at both historic homes.)
NFL Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio
Great American Ballpark (This is where the Cincinnati Reds play.)
Coney Island (A lot of Ohioans and tourists have created lifelong memories at Coney Island, especially during their childhood.)
Glenn Research Center in Cleveland, Ohio
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, Ohio
Huntingdon Park and Botanical Gardens in Columbus, Ohio
Historic Palace Theatre in Columbus, Ohio
National Underground Railroad Freedom Center in Cincinnati, Ohio
Imagination Station in Toledo, Ohio
River Downs Horse Track in Cincinnati, Ohio
Fort Hill State Memorial in Hillsboro, Ohio
National Air Force Museum in Dayton, Ohio
Ohio State University in Columbus, Ohio
It’s no wonder that Ohio has produced outstanding achievers. One of the state’s cities (Columbus) ranks as the 5th most literate city in America. The state motto is “With God, all things are possible.” The state’s name is derived from a Native American phrase that means “beautiful river”.
Thank you for reading my blog. To learn what happens to Ohio native, Raymond Clarke, Brenda and the other characters in the book, Love Pour Over Me, hop over to Amazon.com, B&N.com, Ebookit.com ($3.03 – lowest price I’ve found so far) and get your copy of Love Pour Over Me today. And again I say – Thank You! Consider Love.
By Denise Turney
“You forgot to lock your door” or “Your lover is mad at you” are statements, eliciting fear, that you may have told yourself not once but several times. Depending on how repetitive your thoughts are, just to gain a semblance of peace, you might turn back and check your home or car door. If the thought points to your lover, you might spend hours, perhaps days, trying to figure out what went wrong and how you can fix things.
What you might not do is stop and consider how many other times a thought popped into your head, telling you that you’d forgotten or neglected something or that there was a “big problem” for you to deal with when, in actuality, you’d hadn’t forgotten or neglected anything, when there was no problem to deal with. Considering how full your life is, one “to do” piling on top of another, it’s easy to see how you could miss mental patterns you get stuck replaying.
If you’re not watchful, you could get stuck in one or more areas of your life. Your relationships could go from bad to better back to bad, all because you keep believing lies you tell yourself. You could become worried or anxious each time you think you’ve forgotten something, when there was nothing you’d forgotten. Your income could increase only to go back down again. (Oh, our precious and at times incredibly annoying “thoughts”.)
But, those aren’t the only ways lies you tell yourself could keep you stuck. If you’re generally positive, you might tell yourself that a person who appeared to be smiling at you wants to date you, when they might have been smiling at someone standing behind you. You might tell yourself that your supervisor scheduled a last minute meeting with you because she wants to commend you on the job you did on a recent project.
This type of thinking can not only alter your moods, it can keep you from moving forward. This happens because lies are like blinders, keeping you from seeing the whole picture. If you don’t think lies you tell yourself have impact, stop and think about people who tell themselves they’re going to hit the lottery (and I’m talking hit the lottery big), and the lie propels them to spend $100 on lottery tickets at a time when the person is already thousands of dollars in debt — debt that was created due to gambling.
You don’t have to be a gambler to lie to yourself.
One way to stop the lies (or at least stop believing them) is to see and accept what’s going on in your life. Don’t sugar coat or downgrade things. Take action steps to improve one situation at a time. Measure the results of your efforts. (It’s why goal setting was so big years ago.)
Don’t tell yourself something is happening if it isn’t. Don’t live on promises when you tell yourself that something “magical” is going to happen to bail you out of a situation. Also, watch how certain thoughts keep you from making decisions and taking ACTION.
One last reminder — Pay attention to your thoughts. You just might be conning yourself.
