By Books Writer Denise Turney

Aim for love that goes deep with friends, family, and yourself. This single goal can enrich your relationships and improve your overall well-being. Why?

When you aim for love that goes deep, you intentionally engage in conversations and behavior that have impact below the surface. Merely calling someone on a holiday won’t be your goal unless you haven’t spoken with the person in years. Regardless of what you’ve done in the past, you’ll keep looking for ways to show the people in your life that they are priceless.

How Deeply You Love and Care

You’ll also continue to seek ways to demonstrate to them how deeply you love and care for them. Examples of this include:

• Calling a friend and asking them what day and time is good to enjoy a meal together. While dining, discuss a disagreement that you and the friend recently had, something that has created a wedge in your relationship.
• Inviting a relative to a local, regional, or national event that you were offered free entrance tickets to. Spend the day with the relative and appreciate their presence.
• Walking to a meeting with a colleague and discussing a fun event the colleague attended over the weekend.

Although these actions sound simple, they pack a punch when it comes to showing someone how much they mean to you. When you consider how many of us struggle with self-esteem, confidence and inner love issues, seemingly small words and actions can help release people from the fear that they aren’t enough.

Aim for Love That Goes Deep

Therefore, when you aim for love that goes deep, you help people to gain freedom from fear. And you help others to get comfortable with being loved. Considering that we flee what we fear, this love-based work that you do could help those in your life to stop running from love.

It’s good work with far reach.

More reasons why you should aim for love that goes deep include avoiding being perceived as someone who pursues “surface” relationships and only doing the minimal to keep relationships going. That’s not all. Other reasons to aim for love that goes deep are:

• Pursuing deep love may be the best way to “really” get to know a person.
• The closer you get to others, the more open to love you may become.
• Efforts that you make to enrich your relationships can instill trust.

Even more, you’ll be teaching others how to improve their relationships. This happened for me at a corporate office. A colleague, a talented sales professional, was skilled at relationship building. Patience was one of her hallmarks.

See How Love Works

When we went to a team lunch, she suggested that I sit next to her. As we prepared to travel back to the office, she asked me to ride with her. Not once did she gossip or attack another person in any way.

Instead of simply offering a good morning and good evening greeting, she looked for ways to deepen our relationship. Her only motive was to aim for love that goes deep. It has been impactful.

For you, it might have been a parent or a grandparent who aimed for love that goes deep. Or maybe it was a childhood friend. It wouldn’t be a stretch to think that you remember this person with clarity. Should you count the people who have had the deepest impact on your life, this person would be in that number.

Include Yourself

Aim for love that goes deep to have lasting impact on others. Also, the love you give to others circles back. That love comes back to you in ways that might surprise you. For starters, not only will you feel good about yourself, respect that you hold for yourself might soar. Hence, don’t exclude yourself when it comes to aiming for love that goes deep. To include yourself in the circle of love:

• Ensure you get enough quality sleep each night.
• Treat yourself to entertainment, organic meals, and outdoor activities that you enjoy.
• Spend time alone, appreciating your own company one or more times a week.
• Exercise regularly, keeping your physical fitness at optimum levels.
• Hang out with friends regularly, definitely one or more times a month. Times when you can’t hang out with friends, do a video call with your friends.
• Venture to new places, having loads of fun whether you’re on a weeklong vacation or doing something different over the weekend.
• Practice patience with yourself. Just like everyone else, you’re learning. Because you’re learning, you’ll make mistakes. Forgive yourself and be patient as you continue to learn and awaken.

Pay Attention to What Love Yields

Whether you’re demonstrating love to yourself or someone else, pay attention. Pay attention to what you choose to do to demonstrate your love for yourself or another person. In time, you’ll notice what works. For instance, a relative you’ve been at odds with might tell you how much your weekly telephone call means to him. The aim has additional implications, such as:

• Increases the likelihood that people whose lives you have touched will spot other people who are committed to love
• Demonstrates to you that you are loving
• Shows you the influence that you have when you operate with integrity and with the aim to love, not to get something but simply to love
• Helps you to notice when someone is being honest, transparent and trying to love you with good intentions
• Lets your whole-self realize how much you care about you. This alone could make it easier for you to trust yourself as you take new, smart risks, trying new things.

Watch Hearts Open

Another benefit of paying attention is how your heart opens. Let one person tell you how much your patience, persistence and love blessed their life and any doubt you have about the power of love might evaporate.

This is important because part of the journey here is to remember love, to remember what you truly are. Remember, should you choose to aim for love that goes deep, make sure that you include yourself in your efforts to demonstrate love.

After all, love isn’t complete without you.

By Books Author Denise Turney

If you’re thinking about throwing in the towel, read these 5 good reasons why you shouldn’t give up on yourself. Even if the first reason doesn’t strengthen your faith, keep going. Let one reason stir deep emotion and it might not be long before hope returns.

Keep Going – There’s Light Inside

You’ve heard it before, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t true. After all, repetition doesn’t make something a fact. And this bears repeating. There is one you, only one.

Despite what you might perceive about yourself, there’s a light inside you. It’s there even if you don’t acknowledge it. The world needs that light. So do you.

Don’t Give Up – Without You There’s Lack

These next 5 reasons why you shouldn’t give up on yourself take more than an initial read. This isn’t to say that you should read the reasons two or more times. No. Instead, you should recall these reasons when you encounter challenges, a long string of stumbles, the type of setbacks that make you want to quit.

1. To begin, you’re an eternal being. Therefore, giving up on yourself could come with long effects. Even more, deep within, you really do believe in yourself. There is a part of you that will never give up on you. That part knows you fully, in a way your conscious mind never has. So, even if you’re tired, frustrated or feel hopeless, there is a part of you that always believes in what you really are.
2. Forgetting doesn’t erase the fact that you came into this world for a reason. Just because you forgot why you came here, doesn’t mean that you didn’t once know. Don’t give up so you can remember.
3. Change is part of this world. Another constant in this world is routine. Think about it. Have you ever felt like your days were repeating, starting to look just alike? In a way, it’s like a trick. Morning after morning, you get up, wash your face, brush your teeth, comb your hair and set out. Whether you venture to work, school, a community center, volunteer organization or elsewhere, chances are that you’ve been to this place before. Who knows? You might even take the same route to and from work or school day after day. Repetition. Routine. Seems like everything will always be the same. When things are down, routine and repetition can hurt – bad. Yet don’t give up on yourself. Seemingly out of nowhere and without notice, everything could change – for the better, in ways you might not imagine.

Memories Hold Reasons Not to Quit

Remembering why you came here may take time. It also might require you to practice awareness and get still at least once a day. Entering stillness could be as easy as sitting on the edge of your bed for 10 minutes after you wake. Nature walks might also shift you into stillness. Once you enter stillness, important truths can surface. Look for them. See what good comes to you.

• Someone is watching you. Although a lot of attention is planted on celebrities, someone is paying attention to you. That’s right. We’re all teachers and students. Look back over your life and you’ll see how much you have learned from others. In a similar way, others have learned from you. People who will learn from you need you to show up.
• Having a crystal ball wouldn’t show you everything that’s coming. Quit and you might miss out on a chain of miracles. From where you are now, you can’t see how much your mind might open to good experiences that, until this point, you’ve blocked yourself from receiving. Hence, never give up on yourself. Your best experiences might be ahead.

Don’t Give Up on Yourself So You Can Win

Don’t give up on yourself. If you do, no one will be more disappointed than you. Somewhere within, you know that you can accomplish what you came here to achieve. Winning is what you were created to do.

As you continue your journey, speak lovingly to yourself. Read motivating books to encourage yourself. Motivation and encouragement work like fuel; they’re good energy to keep you moving forward.

Spending time with friends who are positive, people who take smart actions to achieve their dreams, is another way to encourage yourself. Listening to uplifting music, dancing, singing and reading inspirational poetry are other ways to stay motivated.

However, nothing might top telling yourself that you are going to win. Find a way every day to assure yourself that you are going to win.

You’ve Come Too Far to Quit

Should you still feel like throwing in the towel, take 10 minutes to recall previous challenges you’ve overcome. Rather than to merely think about challenges you’ve surmounted, sit and write down specific obstacles you’ve faced and overcome.

Then, slowly read what you wrote. Make it crystal clear to yourself that you have what it takes to meet a setback and advance beyond the setback. Really look at what you wrote. Allow the words to sink in.

Next, revisit your childhood. Look at how far you have come since you were a kid. Did you think you would ever live in your own home, if you have your own place now?

So Much Good Is Ahead

Do you own a business? Are your children a constant blessing, surprising you with their talents, gifts and creativity and courage?

Is living the single life right up your alley? Does living alone find you happy and at peace? Are your relationships with your family and friends strong, after all the years that have passed?

This isn’t the time to gloss over how far you have come. On the other hand, this is the time to muscle up your courage by showing yourself just how much you can do.

Get into the habit of practicing awareness, enter stillness each day and encouraging and motivating yourself and you could keep moving forward. Taking smart action, guidance you receive from prayer and the Creator, is another powerful motivator.

Never give up on yourself. Keep going. So much good is ahead.

By Fiction and Nonfiction Books Writer Denise Turney

Peace is the sweetest experience. It’s freedom from irritation. It is a state lacking fear. When you’re living in peace, if someone asks you what you’re eager to change, your mind might go blank, as if searching for a past instance of discontent.

Sweetness of Peace

Although it seems impossible, you could live in peace forever. Once you enter a state of peace, disappointments and challenges aren’t at the front of your thoughts. Talk about a sweet experience.

But how can you remain in peace once your mind allows you to get there? Work and home are good places to start. However, it takes more than wishing, hoping and ruminating about peace. Instead of engaging in these habits, make living in peace your aim.

Shift morning routines. Instead of rushing into the bathroom when you wake, raise your hands, smile and say “thank you” or another favorite phrase. Less than five seconds is all it takes. Another way to shift in the morning is to stretch. Speaking a positive affirmation while doing two to three minutes of rigorous cardio changes physiology, moving you away from worry.

About Peaceful Relationships

You’ll also benefit from incorporating shifts into work routines, especially if you work outside your home. Goal is to do what steers you away from fear and into peace. For example, instead of lunching with people who gossip, you might decide to eat healthy food at midday and enjoy a walk afterward.

That or you might enjoy lunch with friends who don’t gossip or attack others verbally. This is important because what you see people do to others, you might fear that they can (or do) do to you when you’re not physically with them.

With peace as your goal, you may become more aware of what jabs at your inner peace.

Easy Peaceful Paths

During a relationship break for me, I had to learn to forgive so that I could “let go” of past perceived wrongs and move into peace. This was no quick fix. It took me years to pull this off. Yet, my aim remained unchanged. Had I not chosen forgiveness, my home life would not have been peaceful.

Quicker peaceful paths center around finances. Little causes fear and worry like money problems. Just as I did with the broken relationship, peace must be your overall goal. For example, you could:

• Pay down high interest loans
• Bring credit card debt to zero
• Curb spending
• Build and stick to a budget

Even more, consider reducing the time people attracted to chaos spend in your home. Relatives and friends who love drama, including fights, can drive you into unease. As you get accustomed to living in peace at home, you and your family could start to protect that peace.

Getting to Peace at Work

Engaging in relaxing activities at home is another way to dwell in peace. Soaking in a warm bubble bath, reading a good book, doing yoga, meditating, working in your garden and sleeping deeply at night are more ways to relax at home.

Extending peace at home to work takes commitment. Why? At work, there might be hundreds or thousands of colleagues you cross paths with, each having different energy.

How to work in peace with so many people? Commit to your goal to live in peace. Recall advantages peace has brought you. Among those advantages might be lower blood pressure, better sleep, healthier weight, improved energy and better mental balance.

Also, pay attention to how you feel about work in general as well as the work that you’re currently doing. Notice if colleagues are showing signs of burnout and stress. If so, you could be working in a toxic environment. Steer clear of thinking that this is all in your head if other people are being affected.

Toxic Work Environment Challenges to Peace

In fact, if you’ve worked 10 years, you might have worked in a toxic environment at least once. That toxicity could come through the words or actions of a poor manager, a bullying colleague, lack of clarity from senior management, long work hours and stressful project demands.

Acknowledge what is happening. Don’t sugarcoat it or think that it will magically go away. Recall your goal to live in peace. Consider whether the path to peace at work might come through speaking with a colleague, human resources or a manager about workplace challenges.

Pray for guidance. Be open to stepping into a different role at work or even exiting the organization and working elsewhere. Depending on what is going on in your life, you might leave the organization and take time to be still for several weeks without working anywhere. Of course, ensure that your finances allow for this option.

You could also accept that, regardless of where you work, there may be times when you feel stressed on the job. But this stress shouldn’t go on endlessly. Additionally, there might always be one or more people who you don’t feel completely in sync with at work. Hence, don’t run from challenges.

Open Yourself Up to Better Peace Options

Instead, spot stressful patterns at work (i.e., aggressive emails, put downs cloaked as jokes), seek guidance and keep peace as your aim. Definitely, steer clear of convincing yourself that if you leave a toxic workplace, you can never work again. Because that is not true.

If you convince yourself that you must stay in a toxic work environment, you might feel bound – stuck. That by itself could produce stress. It could find you feeling trapped, which could, in turn, could cause you to become toxic, at work and at home.

To avoid believing the lie that you’re out of work choices, research work from home jobs, remote jobs and employers in industries you want to work in. Look though online job sites like Indeed, Career Builder and Journalism Jobs and set up job alerts.

Moving Into Peace

Show yourself that you have options. You have options at work, and you have options at home. Consider interviewing one to two times a year. Do this even if you love your current job.

This could keep you from being deceived that you could never gain a better job. Do the same with relationships. Stay in touch with loving family and friends. Stay away from isolating yourself. Create environments that prove, that show you, that you have choices and that you can change and move from chaos into peace.

By Books Writer Denise Turney

Writing journals are the types of recording resources that help you stay on track. Even more, when you write in journals you can shift an idea from your imagination, allowing the idea to showcase itself out in the world. A journal is one of the friendliest truth finders.

Beyond Beautifully Designed Blank Journals

And you get to fill in the blank pages at your own pace. But, to gain continual rewards from writing in a journal, you need to commit to the work. If not, you might end up with a bookcase of beautifully designed blank journals that are free of your personal writings, clear of your inner work.

Do that and the hidden dreams, triggers, roadblocks and long-term goals buried deep inside of you might stay just that way – hidden. For example, if you want to open a vegan bakery, a location filled with plants and contemporary abstract paintings, you’re going to have to do more than concept the bakery.

Shift Beyond Imagination with Journals

As good as it feels, it’s not enough to concept and think about opening a bakery. You have to start shifting internally so that you take smart actions. In this instance, you could write your concept in a journal. Then, add detail and clarity to the concept. Other steps needed to shift the goal of operating a vegan bakery beyond imagination include:

• Detail it out – Sticking with the vegan bakery idea, add detail-detail-detail to the concept in your journal. What color do you want the bakery’s interior to have? Do you want a one-level or a two-level bakery? Would turning a tiny house or a traditional house into a bakery work? Will the bakery have a unique exterior design, the type of design that stands out? What days and hours will the bakery be open to the public? Could your bakery also serve as your living space, reducing your overall real estate cost?
• Local regulations – Discover if there are licenses needed to operate a bakery. Also, learn if there are certain types of ingredients you’re not permitted to use in your baked goods.
• Finances – Identify how much money you can afford to invest in your vegan bakery right now. After all, you can always invest more money in the business, as needed, after you start turning a profit.
• Headcount – At the start, determine if you’re going to be a solopreneur or if you’re going to hire staff. If you can’t afford to take on full-timers, you could hire two to three part-time workers to get the bakery up and running.

Answer Journaling Questions

Write answers to these questions in your journal. Consider using this journal to only write about a single goal. When you visit local small businesses, meeting with entrepreneurs to learn about what you need to meet local laws, write about those experiences in your journal.

Instead of simply writing what you did, expand upon the experience. This would see you writing about how you felt before you met with local regulators or local entrepreneurs and how you felt during and after the meetings.

Should you encounter inner roadblocks that show up as procrastination, anxiety or constant delays, set aside time to write about what you’re experiencing. If a parent, grandparent or another relative owned a business, write about your feelings around their business and your relationship with this relative.

Why is this important?

Making The Connection While You Write

You might expect to experience the same results from your business that this relative experienced with their business. On top of this, the expectation could be hidden in your subconscious. Leave this expectation unhidden and you might struggle to understand why you’re procrastinating or avoiding taking a necessary step in your business, all starting with the third year that you’ve owned the bakery.

Your journal writing could uncover the fact that your relative’s business suffered losses during the third year, forcing your relative to close the business. Let’s say you admired this relative, thinking that they were incredibly smart, courageous, insightful and kind. They weren’t the type of person you thought would ever lose at anything.

Yet, they had to close their business. Deep down, you might be expecting the same to happen with you, because you don’t see yourself as capable of exceeding what this relative you admire accomplished. At a subconscious level, fear could be leading you.

Make Journal Writing a Good Habit

By making journal writing about your goal a daily or weekly habit, you could spot this and other internal shifts early. Once you spot a shift, list smart actions that you’re going to take to pivot around setbacks, negative expectations and fear.

For instance, you might list three to six negative expectations that you have. Just don’t stop there. After you list the negative expectations, list how you are going to deal with those events should they actually occur. This helps to build confidence, showing you that you can effectively respond to a setback.

So Many Usages for Writing Journals

Other ways to use writing journals to shift beyond imagination are to:

• Put on a journalist’s hat and write about previous successes you have had. The more you write about prior successes that are related to what you want to do next, the better. Prove to yourself that you can achieve what you want. After all, look how many times you’ve already gotten the ball over the wall.
• Add pictures of you dreaming about what you want (the incubator stage) to you applying for licenses, paying startup fees and reviewing properties to operate your business from. Include them in your journal.
• Schedule events to celebrate each third step that you take to bring your vision forward, shifting it from imagination to where others can see it benefitting people in the world. Take pictures of these celebrations, however small or large they are. Make sure you add several of these pictures to your journal.

As you can see, there are a myriad of ways to pump up writing journals. Adding pictures, drawings, poems, song lyrics, flowers, etc. to your journal, you enliven these written personal recordings that much more. Who knows? Looking forward to adding to the journal might encourage you to continue doing what it takes to shift great ideas beyond your inner world, bringing them from imagination to real life in the world.

By Books Author Denise Turney

Journal writing aids self-discovery because it’s a safe way to be curious about yourself. Yet, that’s not all. Writing in a journal is a form of personal research. Although you can just start writing freestyle. To dig deeper inside your psyche, there are certain types of journal writing that might prove more helpful.

Topical Journal Writing

Topical journal writing is when you identify a specific topic or experience that you want to write about. For instance, if you realize that you have developed a pattern of being attracted to jobs or people who leave you feeling drained and taken advantage of, you could write about this pattern.

Reaching the point of self-discovery calls for freestyle writing about the pattern. Keep your writing focused on the pattern. Ask probing and clarifying questions. Types of questions you could ask yourself include:

• When did I start feeling attracted to relationships, work and/or personal, that generate feelings of fatigue and abuse?
• Why did it take me so long to realize that I had developed this pattern? Am I trying to hide something from myself? What am I trying to protect myself from?
• Do I remember feeling fatigued or uncomfortable around someone when I was a kid? What was this person like?
• How can I start to interrupt then break this pattern while loving myself and others?

Self-Discovery Support

Should your psyche currently be fragile, consider working with an ethical, licensed and experienced therapist as you do this work. Also, pay attention to your dreams (more about dreams later).

Return to topical journal writing as you continue the art of self-discovery. This is not a one-and-done process. Instead, it’s a lifelong journey.

Age Stage Journal Writing Descriptions

Use your journal to create descriptions of yourself at different ages. As an example, you could write a description of the preschool you. Write about your preschool self until you feel there is nothing left to write. Other ages you could write about in your journal are:

• What you were like when you were in the third grade (Write about key experiences you had, friends and how you perceived yourself.)
• Middle school (What were the middle school years like for you? How smoothly did you transition from elementary school to middle school?)
• High school years (Looking back, were your high school years fun and exciting, a time of adventure? Did you struggle to feel like you belonged? Had you started to take smart risks or were you living on the edge?)
• College life (If you went to college, how did you perceive life while you were in college? Was this a time when you entered a serious romantic relationship? Had you discovered one or more of your passions by this time?)
• Adulthood (Within adulthood, you could write about your late 20s or what it was like to become a parent, if you have children. Other experiences you could write about include jobs you worked and why you choose those particular jobs.)

Link Between Family History and Journaling Self-Discovery

Learning more about your family is part of the path to self-discovery. Similar to the way elders once wrote family genealogy in the family Bible, you could use your journal to write about your genealogy. In addition to writing down your family tree, write about your relationship with family members you had close and distant relationships with.

As you continue to write, don’t be surprised if you find links between what you write about a certain stage in your life and a relationship you have with one or more family members. For instance, you might have spent a lot of time with your maternal grandmother during your elementary and middle school years.

Your grandmother’s courage and her work in the family and community, how she empowered others, might have had a great impact on you. Her smarts and the way she communicated with relatives, neighbors and other community members might have inspired the good works that you do where you live.

Fun with Journaling

The longer you engage in journal writing, the more you will notice how you’re changing. Continue to ask yourself probing questions. To get the most out of journal writing, be courageous enough to be completely honest with yourself.

Make writing in a journal fun too. Regarding self-discovery, there may be fewer ways to peek inside your subconscious than it is to write down your dreams. If you rarely recall your dreams when you wake, keep your journal and a pen at your bedside.

Jot down notes about your dreams as soon as you have them and start to awaken. When it comes to dreams that you recall just before you get out of bed for the day, take time to write down the full details of those dreams.

Lifelong Journal Writing

The more you write about the details of your dreams in your journal, the more you might recall your dreams. And you won’t just recall your dreams, you might recall greater details in your dreams. Once this happens, you might spot symbols, patterns and recurring themes in your dreams.

There may be fewer effective ways to watch your subconscious thoughts at work. Another benefit associated with this type of journal writing is the ability to become aware of future events. As surprising as it might sound, you could very well be your best friend, looking out for yourself, preparing yourself for the future.

By Fiction and Nonfiction Books Writer Denise Turney

Daily journal writing advantages aren’t just for adolescents and teens. Gone are the days when journaling is merely used as a way for teens to document intense feelings they hold for a classmate, a relative or a hidden crush. In fact, approximately one out of six people writes in a journal today, according to Psychology Today. Reasons for daily journaling vary.

Journaling Hidden Advantages

So too do the benefits. As an example, people journal to document their night dreams, track fitness progress and to capture major life experiences. Opportunity to work through hard emotions and “stuck” thought patterns are other benefits associated with journal writing. These advantages may be gained because writing offers clarity.

You have to focus and be more present while you write in a journal. Furthermore, writing activates the brain’s reticular activating system (RAS). Also, the frontal lobe part of your brain is activated while you write. As you write, you also activate your brain’s parietal lobe. But who thinks about the brain while writing? Those are hidden advantages.

More Daily Journal Writing Benefits

Here are more, less hidden, advantages that you may bring into your life after you start a daily journal writing practice. Some of these advantages could have long term impact on your mental health.

• Improved memory – Because journaling activates brain lobes, the act can find you focusing better, easier. As your focusing improves, so too might your ability to recall.
• Dream clarity – Writing down night dreams can help you to remember your dreams more. Try it. See if you don’t start to not only remember your night dreams but to also recall details in your dreams. On top of this, because dreams can hold keys to the future as well as guidance on what you should do now, recalling dream details can let you know whether you should take that new job. That, or details in your dreams could signal to you if a relationship is rewarding or dangerous. Those are just two examples of how journaling could prove helpful.
• Expanding communication – Keep writing, with or without journal prompts, and don’t be surprised if your vocabulary grows. Another takeaway that might not be surprising affects your overall writing skills. The more you write in a journal, the easier it may be for you to create pictures in readers’ minds, express emotions and convey important messages.

Capture Your History

This next journaling benefit snuck by me until I crossed paths with another journal writer. Our paths crossed during an Off The Shelf interview. During the interview, the guest shared that he not only wrote in a journal, but would occasionally return to former journals, re-reading passages.

He paid attention to what had been happening in his life when he seemingly randomly flipped to a page in an older journal. Another action that he took was to re-read journal writings, passages that he had written three, five or more years earlier, in order to spot patterns in his life.

Using journal writing to spot life patterns, including patterns that could be keeping me from goal achievement, had not before dawned on me. After that realization, I sat down and started looking through older journals, looking for hidden clues, patterns.

Honesty Matters

This is just one reason why daily journaling to capture your history can be beneficial over the long term. Pay attention to how you feel while journal writing, not just while you are actually writing but also how you feel days and weeks after you start writing in a journal.

As with other life practices, it’s important to be honest while daily journaling. The more expressive and honest you are while writing, the deeper the benefits could be. All of this is not to say that life will iron itself out or become easier after you start daily journaling.

However, expressing your thoughts, fears, challenges, successes and courage while writing in your journal could help you to feel heard. It could help you to better process experiences and perceptions. And, it can help you to capture your personal history, potentially spotting patterns, including patterns that have been holding you back.

Resources
https://www.bing.com/search?q=how+many+people+write+in+journals&cvid=b2eec6c462254972b27ac3f89a97c5db&aqs=edge..69i57j0j69i64.8144j0j1&pglt=675&FORM=ANNTA1&DAF1=1&PC=HCTS (Psychology Today)

By Fiction and Nonfiction Author Denise Turney

People living with a belief in innocence may find it easier to trust than people who have experienced trauma, betrayed trust or a string of disappointments. In part, this may be because people who have lived in an environment of collaboration, honest communication and cooperation have had proof that there are people in the world who they can depend on and trust.

These Experiences Build and Deepen Trust

Types of experiences that build and deepen trust always include honesty. You might not be told all the details related to a project, meeting, etc. But what is shared with you will be the truth. Furthermore, details that might be withheld won’t be withheld to use as leverage or to manipulate you.

A good example of this is when you tell a child that you’re driving to the beach on tomorrow to enjoy the day if it doesn’t rain. You might not tell the child how long the trip will take, which road you’ll be driving down or when you plan to stop to fuel up your vehicle.

If it doesn’t rain and you do, in fact, drive to the beach with the child and have loads of fun enjoying the ocean, warm sunshine and sand, you could build trust between the child and you. Do the opposite and the results could be devastating, especially if you make breaking promises a habit.

Why Courage Counts More Than You Might Realize

Now, imagine that you’ve put your trust in someone only to be disappointed. Even if you don’t want to doubt people, you could start to find it hard to trust. Not only could you find it hard to trust the person who broke her promise to you, over time, you could find it challenging to trust anyone.

As hard as this outcome is, it could be even more painful to use courage and invest trust in someone who betrayed your trust only to have this person fail to deliver on a promise again. However, it doesn’t have to end there. In fact, what if you could help restore betrayed trust?

For instance, what would you do if for vacation you drove to an area with miles of open land, a wide countryside, and, while on vacation, you happened upon a young man who clearly was distressed? Once you confirmed that the guy was clear of bad intentions, would you help him?

Or would you turn away from courage and leave the distressed man on his own? What would you do if you took this latter option and a day later read in the newspaper that the guy perished?

Are You a Bridge?

Whether you realize it or not, you might have countless opportunities to build and deepen trust. One way that you could do this is to gain firsthand experiences that require you to exercise courage by giving yourself the chance to trust another person.

Another way that you could do this is to help another person restore their betrayed trust. Back to the parenting example, if someone has repeatedly betrayed your child’s trust, you could be a bridge between your child and that person. That way your child wouldn’t have to deal with the person directly, potentially reducing or eliminating future harm.

Secondly, you could create more opportunities to build your child’s trust. Revisiting the beach example, you could spend an uninterrupted hour three days a week with your child engaging in loving, safe activities. Do this and you’d be keeping promises and demonstrating that exhibiting the courage to trust another person is not bad or unintelligent.

Help restore betrayed trust and you could be doing a great work. Don’t think so?

Will You Restore Betrayed Trust?

Consider the times when you lost trust in someone. Simply recalling how it felt to be disappointed and discouraged may be enough to see how powerful restoring someone’s trust is. To help restore trust, you might have to practice awareness.

In other words, you might have to look beyond the surface. Instead of seeing someone as being needy, afraid or aloof, you might be advantaged if you start to consider why and how the person became the way that he is. If you consider that the person might have had his trust betrayed numerous times, you could see a seemingly “inconvenience” (a person asking for help, a runaway hiding in your garage, etc.) as a great opportunity to restore betrayed trust.

It takes Clarissa (Escaping Toward Freedom) time to get here, to realize what’s in front of her. Yet, she does learn. Healing one another requires awareness and the willingness to restore betrayed trust with love, courage and patience. Look around. There are so many safe opportunities to restore betrayed trust.