By Self-Help Author Denise Turney

When was the last time you promised that you weren’t going to worry? How many weeks or days passed before you broke that promise to yourself? Or did you start worrying after only a matter of minutes, if you lasted that long?

Worrying Health Risks

It’s understandable. You have great intentions. After all, who wants to worry? But why can’t you stop, especially considering the health risks associated with worrying. Among those risks, there’s:

• Mood disorders including depression and anxiety
• Headaches and joint pain
• Sleeplessness that could lead to insomnia
• Restlessness
• Chest pain
• Shortness of breath
• Panic attack
• Nightmares
• Chronic inflammation
• Stomach pain
• Nausea
• Unwanted weight gain or weight loss

Here’s How Worrying Hurts

On top of the above risks, when you invest in worrying, you put yourself at risk of developing unwanted habits. If you’re a habitual worrier, you might already be engaging in one or more of these habits. See how many sounds familiar or resonate with you:

• Automatic negative thoughts
• Inability to concentrate
• Poor relationships
• Overwhelming guilt
• Hopelessness
• Resenting those whose lives “appear” worry-free or “better” than you think your life is
• Struggle to relax and enjoy peace and mental still-ness

Each of these robs you of peace and of the certainty that you are loved. Yet, of them all, the habit of experiencing automatic negative thoughts could be the most devasting.

Bringing the Worry Habit to a Halt

Once you reach this point, your subconscious automatically worries. It’s as if your mind searches for something to feel afraid about. Should you prefer to stay by yourself, avoiding interactions with other people, this could be why.

Interacting with others puts you in position to disagree about other people’s opinions and perceptions. Even more, you might have outright disagreements with a colleague, relative, friend, neighbor, etc. These are a few of the outcomes everyone experiences when they socialize.

However, isolating is not the answer. Pay attention and you’ll see that isolating doesn’t stop you from investing in worry. In fact, if you’re a worrier, you likely spend hours each day worrying, even if you live and work alone.

Someone glances at you, eyebrows raised, and you immediately wonder: “Am I talking too loudly? Is there a stain on my clothes? Do they not like me?” Strangers and friends might produce these types of questions within you.

How Do You Talk to Yourself?

Let dreams and goals get sidetracked or even sidelined and, without searching for the cause of the disruption, you might think: “Am I too dumb to make this work? What if I never figure out how to make this work? Why does success keep escaping me? How come nothing I do turns out right?”

If it’s not that, when you look at your bank statement, a surge of fear might bolt through you even if your savings are rising. Step on the bathroom scale and you might do more than cringe when you see the numbers. You might start working to convince yourself that there’s something wrong with your body, your health or your personality.

All of this worrying and no one else is around. In this case, you could be isolating from others and still worry. It’s a mental habit and you’re the only one who can break it.

The way out is to make a crucial decision once and for all – no going back. Just decide if you’re going to worry or not.

It really is that simple.

Are You a Good Life Manager?

Perhaps it’s time to look at it differently. Instead of simply stressing yourself out. Step back and look at how you treat yourself as if it was someone else forcing you to think, feel and behave the way you do.

For example, bad bosses run people away from an organization more than nearly anything else. A bumper-to-bumper commute, long work hours and challenges take a back seat to a bad boss’ behavior when it comes to deciding if you’re going to stay at a job or leave.

Looking at bad boss traits, how many of these behaviors would you assign to a bad boss:

• Overbearing, rarely offering you the chance to look at a situation differently
• Poor communicator, often keeping secrets about important details
• Making assumptions without asking questions and digging deeper
• Expecting others to see things the way they do (as if everyone is using one brain)
• Pushing team members to overwhelm
• Getting angry when workers chit chat or take a break from work

Do you treat yourself in any of the above ways? Be honest. Do you push or worry yourself into states of overwhelm? How often do you make assumptions, even about yourself, especially negative assumptions?

The Love Shift

Consider shifting gears and treating yourself with respect and with love. Commit to investing in loving YOU. More ways to free yourself of worrying follow:

• Live free of creating catastrophes in your mind. Look back over your life and see if what you worried about didn’t resolve itself without turning into a catastrophe.
• Get up and walk into a different room
• Shift your gaze slowly from one object to another, landing on two to three different objects, until you feel fear decrease
• Walk outside in nature in a safe place at least 45 consecutive minutes a day
• Breath deeply when you feel yourself investing in worry
• Empower yourself with enough deep sleep at night
• Meditate – train your brain to enter states of peace – let yourself enjoy peace
• Perform yoga
• Listen to soothing music
• Accept that you cannot predict or control the future (even if you predict the future “sometimes”, you can’t control everything)
• Write down what you’re choosing to worry about. After you do this, write actions that you will take to deal with the situation. Then, let it go.
• Talk with a friend
• Seek professional help from an experienced, ethical and licensed psychotherapist

What Are You Going to Choose?

More importantly and regardless of the “reason” you’re choosing to worry (i.e., inflation, aging, school grades), decide that you are not going to worry. Just make the decision. Should you feel tempted to worry (engage in an old habit), set a time limit on how long you will worry.

For example, you could choose to worry about a family or work situation for 15 or 30 minutes. At the end of this time period, stop thinking about what has been concerning you.

Just don’t think about it anymore. Start today. Make the choice to live worry free a new, loving habit. Practice awareness to notice when you’re worrying. Catch yourself early and train yourself to stop and think loving thoughts. As previously mentioned, consider writing down what you’re worrying about and the actions you will take to resolve the situation.

This can’t be overstated. You cannot control everything. Not everything is going to turn out the way you want. If you allow conversations, other people’s opinions, thoughts and perceptions and situations to push you into worry, you could end up worrying nearly all the time.

Not investing in worrying is completely up to you. No one can make the decision for you. Choose to love yourself. Train yourself to live worry free. There’s a part of you that knows the way. Let that loving part guide you.

Resources:

1. The Side Effects of Worrying—and What to Do Instead (chopra.com)