By African American Books Author Denise Turney
Childhood trauma, also referred to as adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), occurs to children from all backgrounds. Moving beyond childhood trauma can require years of inner work. In fact, the process of healing can be grueling. But it’s so worth it.
Childhood Trauma Types
Bullying, sexual abuse, domestic violence, grief and medical trauma are types of childhood trauma. Other types of childhood trauma include terrorism, war, violence in communities that children live in and verbal and emotional abuse. School shootings is an example of community violence.
Growing up with an alcoholic parent, a parent with a drug addiction or mental illness could put a child at risk of experiencing trauma. Parents with untreated psychological, addiction or emotional illnesses may engage in domestic violence, bullying, verbal and emotional abuse and/or sexual abuse against their children. If they don’t directly engage in the abuses, they might tolerate another person abusing their children.
More Trauma Types
Additionally, if children live with their abusers (e.g. parents, older siblings), they may be afraid to address or tell anyone about the abuse. This could complicate the way that children process what is happening. Should children blame themselves for the abuse, it could create a spiral effect of guilt, shame and negative emotional or behavioral response.
Clearly, not all childhood trauma involves abuse. Examples of these traumatic events include repeatedly being rushed to the hospital due to a recurring illness or disease and grief or losing a sibling or parent. Regardless of the type of childhood trauma, the sooner the trauma is identified and healed, the better.
Effects of childhood trauma can be lasting. It’s critical to stop, identify and heal trauma early, absolutely as soon as possible. A Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and Kaiser study found that ACEs are linked to depression, anxiety, suicide, PTSDs, chronic disease, maternal health and risky behavior.
Overcoming Childhood Trauma
More than 38% of the participants in the CDC-Kaiser study had a college degree or higher. Education is not a sure barrier against trauma. Addressing trauma early is key to healing. It is also key to preventing trauma from progressing and moving from one generation to another.
Express your feelings, thoughts and images about childhood trauma as soon as you are aware of the experience. If you’re an adult, the awareness may come through dreams, emotions, images or words that keep “popping” up in your mind.
Until you feel safe to share your experience and emotions with others, consider journaling about the experience. You could also write a letter to your younger self. Share how much you love and support yourself.
Allow yourself to express emotions that surface. Healing is the act of releasing past trauma. Group therapy could offer a safe environment, perhaps helping to push emotions to the surface so that you can look at the emotions in a safe environment and release them.
Getting to Safety
Very Well Mind shares a process that you may find helpful. Included among these steps and other healing actions are:
- Connect with other people in a safe, healing way
- Find a safe, structured environment where you can openly express your emotions. Allow different parts of yourself to surface (e.g. judgmental, compassionate, wounded child).
- Love all of yourself. Accept all parts of your psyche.
- Fully feel and sense what occurred. It may help to work through trauma with a licensed therapist.
- Stay free of comparing your trauma with anyone else’s trauma or challenges. You are unique, lovable you.
- Write down emotions, thoughts and images that surface.
- Ask the Creator for help and receive the help.
- Forgive yourself for harboring ill feelings and negative thoughts about yourself.
- Move. Get outside and move, taking walks, jogging, hiking, etc.
- Help another child should you become aware of another child who is going thru the trauma that you experienced.
- Be patient with yourself. Continue to do the work until you are free of the trauma. Do the work even if it takes decades. You’re so worth it!
Ongoing Support
Be patient with yourself. Overcoming childhood trauma could take decades. But it may only take weeks to start experiencing the positive effects of the inner work. This good work may help you should you experience an emergency and need to make quick, smart decisions.
It is my hope that Love Pour Over Me will also help you as you work through childhood trauma. Love Pour Over Me tells the fictionalized story of a talented athlete who was abandoned by his mother and left to be raised by an abusive father who has untreated alcoholism.
Resources:
https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/childabuseandneglect/acestudy/about.htm
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