Monthly Archives: February 2023

Why Life Is Filled with Mystery and Suspense

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By Mystery Writer Denise Turney

mystery and suspense light
light showing mystery and suspense

Even illusionists and fortune tellers know that life is filled with mystery and suspense. Fact is, regardless of your background and despite your hopes, wishes and abilities, there’s so much you may never know. In fact, you might spend years feeling, really believing, that you have a solid handle on life, only to discover that you really never did have as much control as you thought you had.

Facing What’s Coming

That realization could come to you in the form of a dream, an unexpected job shift or the transitioning of someone you love. Then, there are economic, nature-related and societal changes that seem all but a mystery, cloaked with anxious suspense. It’s what the world experienced years ago with the outbreak of COVID19. Before COVID19, there was Ebola, AIDS, yellow fever, smallpox and other contagions.

Who saw those viruses and diseases coming? And, who knew that the COVID19 virus would unsettle the world for two years?

These types of mysteries may be why we seek out religious prophecies, magic and astrology. If only we could know everything that was coming. But would simply knowing what was coming next bring the constant peace you’re seeking?

At first thought, it seems as if knowing something is going to happen before it occurs takes the sting out of the change. Yet is that what happens?

As an example, if you knew that you were going to suffer a tragic, though not fatal, fall while mountain climbing, would pain from the fall be less painful? Would knowing about the fall before it occurred change anything?

Uncloaking Mystery and Suspense in Your Life

That may be a reason why life is filled with mystery and suspense. If knowing how every event was going to unfold didn’t change you or how you feel, what’s to be gained if the mystery in this world is taken out?

Another point to consider is that much of what appears to be mysterious seems a secret because it holds details that you may not want to face. I was recently watching the movie, The illusionist. Eisenheim, the illusionist in the movie, appeared to have special powers. So much about what he did was hidden, mysterious.

That cloak was partly removed when he told the inspector how he performed an apple trick. At that point, it became clear that suspense can also derive from lack of knowledge and an unwillingness to pay attention.

Hence, life may be filled with the tension of mystery because you’re far too distracted to pay attention to tiny details that serve as clues to what’s coming in your life or to what’s going to happen around you next. Howbeit, that’s another point – living with distractions.

What’s The Last Unexpected Event You Faced

Other reasons why life seems filled with mystery include not wanting to see the link between what you’re doing right now, what you’re convincing yourself of right now and what shows up next in your life and a desire for irresponsibility. Think about it.

Not being responsible for where you are right now could free you from inner work. In other words, if you’re not responsible for where you are (wherever that is), you certainly couldn’t be held accountable for what comes of your life. Turn away from inspecting minute details and you could convince yourself that events are just happening to you.

Keep at it, and you could become convinced that your life is the one thing that you have no or little control of. But, what if, in your quest to free yourself of details and responsibility, you ventured to a quiet place only to be met with a most unexpected event? That event could be anything from having a vision, having your home destroyed in a fire that has been determined to have been deliberately set (by who, no one knows) to receiving a notice that you have been given an inheritance from someone you never met, etc.

Furthermore, because of this event, you now must solve a real mystery. There’s too much on the line for you to turn away. Instead of turning away, you must get to the bottom of this mystery. Walk away and your life will feel like it’s burdened with suspense.

How Are You a Mystery, a Suspense to Yourself

Look around. Have you faced such an experience, even once? Did you pursue the mystery? If so, what did you discover about yourself? Did you discover that, despite what you faced, in spite of living with so much “unknown” you are more enlightened, loved and empowered than you thought?

Look back at your life and see if there’s a mystery waiting for you to solve, the type of real life mystery that, once your solve the mystery, you gain a key that helps you to unlock before unknown and blessed doors inside of yourself.

You’re Too Close to Winning To Quit

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By Freelance Writer and Novel Author Denise Turney

archery target face in close up photography of someone close to success
Photo by Mikhail Nilov on Pexels.com

Winning is a lot about commitment and tenacity. You need an unexplainable desire to succeed. Why? There are countless shifts, challenges, setbacks and surprising advances, not to mention totally unexpected industry trend changes, on the success path.

Spending months, even years, studying the industry or market you want to develop, sell and distribute products or services in is admirable. However, it’s not enough to insulate you from disappointment and rough patches.

Desire Has Real Affect

After years of pursuing novel writing, as well as freelance writing, one thing I have learned with certainty is that pursuing a dream brings a slew of uncertainty into your life. This is where desire has real effect.

Desire what you are pursuing deeply enough and can press your way through any obstacle, any setback. The key is to mix desire with tenacity. Refuse to quit, simply refuse to give up.

If you need motivation to keep going, consider:

  • What you will forfeit if you quit (e.g., chance to pass a successful family-owned business that you founded down to future generations, realization that you can succeed, a deeper knowing that you are a champion)
  • Why you started pursuing a dream in the first place (remembering why you want what you want will play a key role throughout your life)
  • Your purpose for being in this world. A deeper part of you, perhaps your core, could be guiding you toward a goal, down a path. Although it might feel like a goal or dream was birthed at your mind’s conscious level, your Higher Self could be calling the shots. Quitting would move you away from your purpose.

Someone Is Watching You

Someone is watching you. Think about it. Have you ever caught yourself watching someone?

Perhaps you were admiring the way they build effective teams, resolve conflicts, take creative ideas and mold them into enterprises that hold up for decades. Or you might have caught yourself admiring someone for the way they effectively juggle a busy family and operate a nonprofit organization that helps hundreds of people a year, all while maintaining optimum physical, mental and spiritual health. Well, just as you watch others, someone is watching you, perhaps admiring you and mimicking you.

You Could Be Close to a Breakthrough

More importantly, you could be an hour or days away from a huge breakthrough. Let’s say you have already put in 10 years of work, honing your craft or enhancing a product. For me, that’s writing novels, fleshing out characters, editing-editing-editing and then turning a manuscript over to a professional editor, then marketing and promoting daily until the story I wrote finds its readers. What’s the dream you’re working on?

Back to the 10-year example, throughout these 10 years, you’ve seen your share of trouble. Each time you felt inspired or motivated, believing that you were going to finally win in a big way, an unexpected setback appeared. The setback (e.g., economic shift, health issue, relationship breakup) might have demanded your attention to the point where you couldn’t focus on anything else.

What If Your Dream Is Closer Than You Think?

Ten years of that type of back and forth is a lot to keep pressing through. It’s understandable that you feel like quitting, but what if your huge breakthrough is closer than you think?

Other reasons not to quit include:

  • Quitting robs you of experiences. These are experiences that you will only enjoy after you accomplish what you set out to achieve.
  • Lessons that you learn on the success path can last a lifetime. You can also pass what you learn to your friends, family and beyond. But you have to succeed first. After all, people might not listen to you as fully as they can until after you succeed.
  • Your success motivates other people, shows others that they too can succeed. This is a powerful outcome. And you might not meet or become aware of all the people you’re accomplishments motivate. As an example, the fact that you didn’t quit and did yield the success you desired could encourage someone not to give up on their children who might be struggling with an issue right now. It could also encourage someone to exit an abusive relationship, trusting that a better life does, indeed, await them.

Become a Difference Maker

Regarding how your success motivates others, if you persist and commit to your dream, you could become a difference maker in your family. Nieces, nephews, cousins and siblings might dust off their own dreams, stirring up their courage and go on and step into a better life.

Yet, perhaps most importantly, by not quitting you open yourself up to bigger and better experiences. From where you are now, you cannot see just how far you could go. Right now, you can’t see every door that will open if you keep going. Neither can you see the many people who will come into your life, people you would never meet if you don’t succeed.

And yes, you will learn life lessons as you travel from success to success. Pursuing success will also change you. It’s been said that this may be one of the greatest success rewards.

Go Get It

You might have heard that even if you don’t fulfill your dream, you’ve won because, by pursuing your dream, you changed in rewarding ways. As comforting as this might sound, it wouldn’t be a stretch to think that, deep down, you want more than the inner change and the life lessons that come to you as you continue to pursue your dream.

What you want is to experience, breath and feel, what it is like to live with the success you may have started desiring when you were a kid. Simply acquiring life lessons and shifting internally is not what you got on this path for.

Good for you for wanting all of what you started on the success path to gain. The last thing you want is to come up short and be told “at least you tried” or “look how much you learned along the way”.

Keep going. Pivot. Make changes. Continue to learn. Be persistent, tenacious and committed. Don’t quit. You really can fulfill your dreams.

Are You Trapped in Success Illusion?

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By Freelance Writer and Books Author Denise Turney

person climbing on mountain real or success illusion
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

It’s easy to fall into success illusion. Desire to succeed, all by itself, could fuel the error. A history of getting what you want without having to work for it or knowing how the goal was met could also attract you to an illusion.

Success Illusion Signs

The unfortunate thing is that a success illusion feels good, but it’s not real. Signs that you’re in this type of illusion include:

  • You’re proud of how much work you do, how busy you are, without knowing if your efforts are paying off.
  • Fantasy is a mind trick you invest a lot in, spending hours each day dreaming about living at certain success levels without doing any work to really get there.
  • Defining achievements as “luck” – experiences that only happen to “special” people has become common for you.

Rewards of being trapped in success illusion are linked to emotions. If you’ve ever fantasized that you were in a relationship, working a career, fulfilling community or social goals, the types of actions that improve your and other people’s lives, you know how good it feels to imagine you’ve already accomplished a long-term goal.

Stop the Fantasy Rewards

You might even start rewarding yourself based on how strong the fantasy (and emotions linked to the fantasy) is. Let this happen and you could slip into a cycle of fantasy-reward, the very cycle that could keep you from actually taking smart actions to produce real success.

An example of this is of a gambler believing that, this time, she’s going to hit big. Should she have won $1,000 or more just once, she might convince herself that she’ll win big again, maybe even scoring a six-figure win. That belief could create “good feeling emotions”, propelling her further into debt.

Family and friends telling her that she’s trapped in an illusion might not work. At some point, all these loved ones might be able to do is to watch while she sinks deeper into debt feeding the illusion.

If you’ve talked with someone who has seemingly hit bottom and listened to them tell you about their past victories, even as they struggle to get through the day, you know what the end result of being trapped in a success illusion can look like. Once you believe that you’ve already done your best or that you’re winning when you aren’t, it can be challenging to pull out of the fantasy.

Free Yourself from Success Illusion

Add in the belief that it’s up to something else, a force, to map out your life and make what you want come true and you could end up sitting on the sidelines, watching you life (and opportunities to really succeed) pass you by. This might be a reason why scams work.

Fortunately, even if you find yourself trapped in a success illusion, you can get out. You can go free of the fantasy. There’s no way to con yourself about this. Honesty and truth have to be at work to free yourself. To begin:

  • Write down where you are and where you want to be. For example, if you’re $20,000 in debt, write that down. Then, write down how much you want to have in your savings, checking and retirement accounts. Later, you’ll identify smart actions you’ll take to get from where you are to where you want to be. For now, get clear about recognizing and accepting where you are now and where you want to end up.
  • List actions you took to get to where you are. The more clearly you see your role in where you are, the more empowered you might feel to create the good change in your life you want to experience.
  • In bulleted form, write actions you can take to change your course. Do this free of judging whether you think you’ll succeed at these actions. Simply brainstorm and bring steps you could take to achieve your goal to the front of your mind.
  • Identify resources and tools you can use to achieve your goal.
  • Get clear about why you want to achieve the goal. Sounds simple, but the why can keep you going, serving as powerful motivation.

Digging Deeper

Next, dig deeper into the process, mapping out detailed actions you’ll take. Commit to taking these actions. If you don’t, you could slip back into fantasy. To commit, you’re agreeing to be resilient and persistent.

Quitting can’t be on your list of things to do, not if you really want to succeed. Stay on track by creating a spreadsheet that list where you want to be, the actions you’re going to take and the actions you are taking.

But don’t just list actions you’re taking, list the results of your efforts. You need to see which actions are working and which actions you might need to change or stop.

In fact, if you’re serious about success, review results daily, weekly and monthly. Because this an ever changing world, you’re going to have to make adjustments as you continue on your path. Tracking the actions you take and the results of those efforts can make it easy to spot just where you need to make an adjustment.

What If Success Isn’t Sexy?

Another thing that your tracker might show are approaching trends. That’s another reason why reviewing the tracker daily, weekly and monthly is smart.

You might have figured out that achieving success is generally so un-sexy. But if the why of your goal is strong enough, each step you take can yield tremendous reward. In other words, you might feel on top of the world because you can clearly see that you are making progress.

A growing confidence and faith that you can gain success in other areas is a by-product of sticking to your goal and making continual progress. Keep in mind that, depending on your goal, you might have to continue advancing for the remainder of your physical experience.

Careers in the arts, scientific explorations and commitment to a community or your family are types of success goals that may not have an end date. So, keep going, stay focused, review your tracker and celebrate your milestone successes.

Doing so might not feel as cozy-good as a fantasy or an illusion. All things considered, it’s much better because it’s real.