Monthly Archives: May 2022

11 Easy Things You Can Do That Prove You Love Yourself

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By Books Author Denise Turney

person holding golden love balloon
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Prove you love yourself. You know it’s time you did this. But how do you know you’re loving yourself, even now? How do you really know?

Think about it. If you were asked to list signs of having a cold, what would you list? Scratchy throat, stuffy nose, cough and tiredness? What if you were asked to list symptoms of being excited? Would any of these appear on your list – alertness, curiosity, rapid heartbeat, happiness and feeling alive?

Exploring Unconditional Love

Finally, what if you were asked to create a list of signs that prove you’re loved? If someone found your list, what would they find? Would they find words like warmth, kindness, appreciation, acceptance, realized value, welcomed, desired, cared for, connection, safety and trust?

What’s on that list reveals what think love is.

When is the last time you gifted yourself with what’s on your list? Ask yourself, when is the last time you made yourself feel loved. This is a time when you (you alone) treated yourself in a way that caused you to feel unquestionably loved.

Prove You Love Yourself as an Early Start

Confession. When I was younger, I thought self-love was selfish. Back then, I thought the Creator put me in the world to love everyone else except myself. Guess that’s why I sometimes felt like love was a risk, a risky chance that might or might not yield the results I was seeking.

Now it makes perfect sense to me. The entire time I was committed to loving everyone except myself (again thinking that loving yourself was a selfish and negative act to engage in), I was waiting for someone else to love me. Each time I believed that I had loved someone else, sacrificed for someone else, I expected to receive love.

When that didn’t happen (and looking back, it seems like it didn’t happen a lot), I felt disappointed. Love seemed like a trick to me. Or, as Amy Winehouse sang, it was as if “Love Is A Losing Game”. Fortunately, I didn’t give up on love.

People Who Help Your Prove You Love Yourself

Do you believe in love? Is love powerful, weak, necessary, real or unreal to you? Did you become familiar with love during your childhood? Hopefully, your parents, extended family and friends gave you love. It is my trust that the people circling you as you grew up demonstrated love for you. Even more, I trust that those people poured love into you, making it easy for you to realize that you have value.

Whether or not that happened, you have to work to love yourself. You have to prove you love yourself. And you have to prove it throughout the day.

Yet, life gets busy. Before you know it, you’re telling yourself that you don’t have time to rest. You start to believe that sacrificing your peace and joy for a relationship, a job, a belief is best. Even more, you might convince yourself that you just don’t have time to do what it takes to make yourself feel loved. That’s why breaking big impact actions into small steps helps.

11 Easy Self Love and Self Care Acts

Here are 11 easy things you can do to feel loved. They’re simple acts that can have a long, powerful and lasting impact. Add these to your daily routine and see if you don’t start to feel better, see if you don’t start to feel more loved.

  1. Listen to a song that causes you to feel hopeful, happy.
  2. Sit still for five minutes as soon as you awaken. Do the same five minutes before you drift into sleep at night. These are easy self-love and self-care actions. After a while you might decide to increase the time to 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes at night.
  3. Write yourself a love letter. This love letter doesn’t have to be long. The aim is to tell yourself, to demonstrate to yourself, how much you truly do love you.
  4. Breathe deeply for 60 seconds. As a tip, you could use a virtual timer to sit still, sit quiet and breathe for 60 seconds. Should this sound like too much time, start smaller. Start breathing deeply for 30 seconds and then work your way up to 60 seconds.
  5. Stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself three things that you appreciate about yourself today, right now. Pay attention to how you feel as you do this. Notice if there’s an area where you find yourself struggling to believe something good about you. (Hint: You’re awesome!)
  6. Drink fresh water each day. Also, eat a healthy diet.
  7. Exercise daily – moving your body in healthy ways is an act of self-love.
  8. Get outdoors and enjoy a safe walk in nature. Stay outdoors for 45 minutes. This simple act can improve your mood, mental focus and physical well-being.
  9. Take one day a week to rest. Instead of working, do fun, relaxing things that you enjoy.
  10. Dance to a song that you love once a day. Not only is this fun, it’s great exercise.
  11. Open up to loving relationships. Say good-bye to people who constantly criticize, belittle and abuse you.

Whether you give love to someone else or to yourself, it is from within you that love flows. To feel empowered and confident enough to be who you really are, prove that you love yourself. Go beyond simply saying that you love yourself. Prove it.

How Books Can Shorten Hard Parts of Your Healing Process

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By African American Fiction Author Denise Turney

african american woman using a singing bowl while sitting for healing
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Your healing process is ongoing. It takes courage and work to heal. But that doesn’t mean that your healing process has to be hard. After all, too much struggle and you could become tempted to quit. Face it. There’s no getting around it. In this world, maintaining inner health requires more than thought. If you’re serious about getting and staying well, you’re going to have to take inspired action, including reading books you’re guided to.

Magical Thinking Is Not Part of Your Healing Process

It can’t be overstressed that you have to take smart actions to heal. Magical thinking is not going to save you. Instead, learning, growing and paying attention are healing keys. Reading empowering books can be a shortcut to healing.

Howbeit, reading a lot of books, including popular self-help books, may never be enough if you don’t take the right actions. For example, to gain the most from self-help books, commit to completing exercises and worksheets in those books.

Types of worksheets you might find in self-help books include questionnaires that are used to measure your self-esteem. Others include visualization exercises designed to help you identify your core beliefs. Examples of core beliefs are “life is good”, “life is hard”, “people are kind” and “I succeed when I give my best”.

Books Offering Healing

Surprisingly, some exercises in self-help books are easy to put into practice. Yet, that doesn’t mean that the work won’t dig deep. This happened to me years ago. After experiencing frustration and disappointment, I started reading self-help books. For years, that proved to be rewarding.

At the start of one of the books, the author shared that most people who buy self-help books not only don’t finish reading the books, they also don’t complete the exercises. I took that as a challenge. Before I knew it, I was committed to finishing each self-help book I bought.

More importantly, I was committed to completing each exercise and worksheet in the books. While working on one exercise, I broke down in tears. To this day, it surprises me how much of an impact that simple exercise had on me.

Your Healing Process Exercises in Self-Love

It was an exercise in self-love. Was I ever shocked to learn how hard it was to stand in front of a mirror and repeat “I love you” to myself. Had thought it would be a piece of cake. Actually, at first glance, I thought the sheer mention of the exercise was silly.

By the time I finished that book, I knew I had to work on loving myself, and I did. It was one of the strongest, most clear parts of my healing process.

Reading that book and doing the exercises proved to be an eye opener. Yet, that’s just one way how reading books can help you to heal. Safely looking into the inner workings of a successful person’s life can also prove beneficial.

Committed to Your Healing Process

For instance, if you’re committed to healing from addiction, procrastination, workaholism or a habit that keeps you from living your best life, reading an autobiography or biography about people who have faced the same challenge could keep you from feeling alone or isolated.

Keep reading about how those people overcame the challenge and you might reinforce your belief that you can overcome this challenge too. By way of these lessons, you may regain inner health. You may feel better about yourself and about life in general. The effects can be far reaching.

Although inner health and success (career success, rewarding relationships, etc.) may not appear connected, they are. Additionally, just as poor physical health can drain your energy, weak inner health can suck the life out of your mental stability, hopes and happiness.

Good Inner Health a Hallmark on Your Healing Process

Get into the habit of beating yourself up and you might not notice how your inner health is declining. In fact, make depreciating yourself a habit, and you might start to think that going through the day feeling “humdrum” is normal. If you want to increase your energy and live a joyful life, don’t let this be your path.

Stir up your courage. Ask to receive inner wisdom. Seek out guidance from the Creator. Trust the healing process. Furthermore, take inspired action. As again, it’s not enough to simply want a healing. Additionally, it’s not enough to just think about living with inner health. You have to take the right actions.

Self-Care Priorities

Even more, you might have to take the right actions over and over again. Keep your focus on the outcomes that you want to experience. Stay focused on your fitness goals, relaxation strategies, career successes and the health of your relationships.

Also, keep your self-love and self-care practices top of mind. Reading books, including self-help books and a powerful autobiography or biography can offer motivation. At the start of your healing journey, you might not feel as if you need motivation. But that can change and fast.

Should you feel mentally or emotionally exhausted, a primary source of healing might come through books. Reading about someone else’s courage to overcome offers conviction. This happened to me when I was a kid, trying to make something good of my writing dreams.

More Ways Books Aid Your Healing Process

Learning of other people’s success commitments proved healing for me. Just knowing that someone had surmounted hard odds was energizing. For you, self-help books might provide techniques, strategies and insights that you can use to shift your beliefs away from loss. Other ways that books could help your healing process include:

  • Lower your defenses so you can receive healing
  • Build connection with people dealing with similar challenges
  • Offer clear pathways thru hurt to healing
  • Provide tools to take smart action
  • List treatments and healing organization resources

Ongoing Mental Healing

In turn, you might incorporate healthy, loving actions into your daily routines. There’s so much good that can be found in books. Despite what they look like, books are not just words on pages. After all, books are written by people who’ve faced their own challenges. Effective self help books are authored by people who have spent hours, maybe years, interviewing, surveying and studying children and adults.

Writers of these books have the skill to share medical and scientific results without being judgmental. It’s this approach that could draw you closer, make it easier for you to accept new healing actions. Keep going. Don’t ever give up on yourself. Long term emotional and mental healing could be closer than you think.

Be Courageous Enough To Step Into Your Destiny

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By Novel Writer Denise Turney

213 let's go design, motivational destiny graphic
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Have you ever had a vision? In just an instant, have you seen yourself in a specific place, finalizing an achievement? Let that happen just once and you might believe in your destiny. On the other hand, even if you say that you don’t believe in destiny, such an event could change your life. Why?

Sparks of Inner Vision

Inner vision lets you see your life differently. Instead of seeing yourself as merely enduring whatever comes at you, you may start to see your life attached to a purpose. This happened to me when I was a kid. At the ripe age of 10 years, I had an experience that revealed to me that my destiny was to be a writer.

Now, this wasn’t something that I had asked or prayed for. Instead, it was revealed to me. It’s odd to me now how I linked this revelation to worldly success. In fact, I don’t think a year passed after I’d received the revelation before I started fantasizing and imagining myself selling millions of copies of my books. If I only knew what was up ahead, which brings us to the topic of this article.

Dreams and fantasies aside, it takes courage of conviction to walk into your destiny. But, that makes it sound like it’s a choice as to whether or not you step into your purpose. And my experience has been that it may not be all choice.

Research Your Calling

Oh. You could refuse to do what you know deep inside you should do. Yet, that choice won’t leave you happy. Even more, you might struggle for the rest of your physical experience to live in peace. So, by all means, walk into your destiny.

Before you begin, research your calling. Read specific examples of courage that are directly related to your destiny. After it was revealed to me that I was a writer, I started catching the bus to the downtown Knoxville bookstore. Once inside the bookstore, I searched for research books that focused on the art of novel writing.

Another action that I took was to buy magazines geared toward writers. Back in those days, I bought and read Writer’s Digest and The Writer. Later, I added Poets & Writers to my list of magazines to buy and read. Over the years, that branched out into exploring the pages of periodicals like Publisher’s Weekly and Literary Market Place.

Keep Learning

Those early days were spent learning, learning, learning. And, of course, writing.

Because this world is not magical, I highly encourage you to research the field that your destiny abides in. Not only will this help you to see what may be required of you to walk into your destiny, it could protect you from slipping into magical thinking.

While you’re researching the field that your destiny is in, be bold, be courageous. Find the courage to start taking smart action. For example, if your destiny is to open and manage a health clinic, consider enrolling in medical courses. Complete building licensing forms. Get familiar with tax laws that impact health clinics. You could even start conducting market research to discover best places to open the health clinic.

Facing Obstacles

That’s just the beginning. As you conduct research and start to walk into your destiny, keep learning. Also, network with people who are living examples of courage. These are people who have succeeded at doing what you’re trying to do. As a tip, if your confidence could use strengthening, consider keeping your destiny to yourself.

Wait until you become courageous to share your destiny with others. Why? Another person’s doubts could jab your confidence, causing you to stop. And this is just one experience that could hamper your efforts.

Slow success or seemingly no success is another potentially big roadblock. An example of this is when you’ve done lots of research on your destiny field. Following the research, you’ve taken courses and continue to learn. Added to that are the smart actions that you take to walk into your destiny. All this and more – and results could still fall short.

Overcoming Challenges

Back to the destiny of opening and managing a health clinic. As it regards smart preparation, you might have improved your credit. Then, you might have taken out a lease on a building, purchased medical equipment and started interviewing potential employees. Because you’re serious about stepping into your destiny, you may have purchased marketing tools to help get the word out about your new health clinic.

You’ve done so much. Yet, after your health clinic opens, you could experience financial challenges due to new regulations. That or you might find yourself faced with a staffing shortage. Or you could find yourself dealing with clients who try to pay you in “sad stories” instead of cash or insurance.

Courage of Conviction

Now is not the time to abandon your destiny. What this is a time for is courage of conviction. As a saying goes, remember why you started. Exercise your mental courage and inspire yourself to keep advancing. Ways to do this include:

  • Reading biographies and autobiographies of bold and courageous people who helped to reshape the world
  • Visiting a mentor and discussing your concerns
  • Seeking answers and insights from industry leaders
  • Asking for assistance from area influencers (these could be financiers, real estate experts, marketing specialists, etc.)
  • Building a team of like-minded people who offer each other strategy, financial, technical and organizational support

Also, see yourself as a success. Just don’t slip into magical thinking. In other words, don’t fall into the trap of thinking that things are going to improve or work out simply because you want them to. Stay flexible and adapt. Keep reminding yourself that nothing in this world goes unchanged. Just because your dream hasn’t been fully achieved yet, that doesn’t mean that you’ll never walk into your destiny.

Be Bold and Courageous

Find the courage to ask for what you want as you continue this journey. This is very important, as it’s really hard to get what you want if you don’t ask. Each day take a step forward. Call an influencer. Complete a required training. Try using new technology.

Engage in online and offline marketing. Keep growing your teams as needed. Incorporate sufficient quality rest and a healthy diet into your day. This can keep your energy up. Definitely keep taking smart risks, the types of risks that require you to be bold and courageous.

Remember that this is a long journey. It’s more a marathon than a sprint. Because your destiny may be linked to your passions, the rewards may easily be both internal and external. If you don’t quit, when you walk into your destiny, you may see how many other people were linked to your success. You just might change more people’s lives than you imagine. Keep going!

Stop Waiting – It’s Time to Make Your Dreams Come True

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By Books Author Denise Turney

flowers beside a have a dream canister on wood table
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Have you ever had a dream? I’m talking about a dream that felt so real, it felt like the dream was a part of you? Even more, you might feel compelled, literally pushed, to go after the dream. It’s as if your very identity is linked with the dream. Visions of huge success may flood your thoughts. You could spend hours fantasizing about what your life will be like after your dreams come true.

Clear Dreams

Let that occur and nothing may be able to stop you from pursuing the dream. Howbeit, pursuing a dream and fulfilling a dream are different. In fact, you could get stuck thinking about your dream and never take the actions required to make your dreams come true. I don’t want you to get stuck in this loop. That’s why I’m sharing the following actions and strategies that you could use to fulfill your dreams.

You may feel hope, fulfillment, satisfaction, peace and happiness as you start to see results from each of these actions. That alone is worth making a good shift. It’s also important to mention that smart action is generally required to reach your dreams.

Nothing Magical or Mystical

Effects don’t appear out-of-nowhere. Absent a cause, there are no effects. The right actions or causes produce the right effects or results. Hoping, wishing and fantasizing about what you want are not effective strategies. As a matter of fact, you could spend years hoping, wishing, fantasizing and asking for an experience and never realize that experience if you don’t take the right actions.

After all of these years, I’m still reinforcing that in myself. As long as I’ve been taking actions to fulfill my goals, I still wrestle with the belief that my goals will just-come-true at some magical, mystical right time if I’m patient. Therefore, if you wrestle with this same belief, if you seriously want to make your dreams come true, take the right actions.

Right Actions

Commit to accepting the fact that you must take the right actions. Throughout the process, you may come to see that this is the most important step that you can take to achieve your dreams. Other choices and actions toward dream fulfillment include:

  • Get clear about what you want. This is important because there are countless distractions in this world. Clarity will help you to focus and persist.
  • Research what others did to achieve similar goals. To do this, you could reach out to people who’ve achieved dreams like yours. Build sincere relationships with these people. After you build these relationships, ask these achievers what they did to do what it is you are seeking to do. Although you might not get the same results these achievers did even if you do exactly what they did, if you follow a similar plan, you may definitely experience good results. So, stay open. Make changes as needed.
  • Identify the individuals who are most likely to back your dream. Make these people a part of your support team. Throughout the process, you’ll need to contact these people to receive encouragement, motivation and maybe even confirmation that you’re on the right path.

More Right Actions

  • Discover which organizations and/or individuals are most likely to buy products and/or services that you create. Do this if your dream is to earn a comfortable income creating and selling products and/or services. As with other actions, take your time with this discovery. You could work with market research experts. Or you could A/B test marketing efforts. Get this right, and you could save yourself years of effort. After all, marketing and promoting to the wrong people won’t get you the sales that you’re looking for.
  • Ask for what you want. Once you discover who’s most likely to buy your products and/or services, introduce yourself to these people. Ways to introduce yourself to the right people include:
    • Attend festivals, conferences, trade shows and seminars these people attend. But don’t just attend similar events, approach influencers and ask them to do business with you. One way that you could get a Yes is to study an organization. Find out its struggle areas. Then, see how your products and/or services can help the organization reduce or eliminate these struggles. Share this solution with influencers at the organization when you introduce yourself.
    • Write and send direct mail to influencers.
    • Also, ask people you know who know these influencers to make an introduction for you.

Consistency Matters

More actions that you can take to make your dreams come true are to incorporate technologies into your efforts. As an example, to sell novels, I attend book festivals, introduce myself to book event organizers and network with publishers, editors and book marketers. Other actions I take include speaking at colleges and designing and mailing postcards and book flyers.

However, I don’t just take these actions once and then sit back and await the results. Instead, I take these and lots more actions consistently. And, it’s this that leads to additional steps that you could take to achieve your dreams.

  • Practice the right actions consistently. This is among the reasons why it’s important to get clear about what you really want. To achieve your dreams, you may have to take actions over and over again, for months, perhaps years.
  • Stay open and flexible. To make your dreams happen, you might have to change a technique. So, stay open. Definitely be flexible and adaptable. This world is constantly changing. You’re going to have to adapt to keep advancing in this world.

Make Your Dreams Come True

Read books, watch videos and listen to tapes that inspire you toward your goals. In other words, focus on what you want. Doing this could inspire new ideas and improved actions that you could take to reach your dreams.

Additionally, continue to learn. Don’t stop learning. The industry or field that your passion is in changes. As you continue to learn, you can stay abreast of the changes. Another rewarding choice is to take smart risks. When you respond to your inner dream giver, you start a journey that never ends while you’re in this world. If you want to make the journey sweet, incorporate loving relationships, hobbies and communications into your life.

Why? Having loving people to share your journey and dream fulfillment with is a sure key to happiness. Wishing you boundless success.