Monthly Archives: January 2022

Healing Support for Overcoming a Sad Childhood

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By Books Author Denise Turney

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You’re not alone if you suffered through a sad childhood. Even if you grew up as an only child, a journey that can prove hard while living with unforgiving parents, you’re not alone. Tragically, millions of adults are seeking healing support for overcoming a sad childhood. Although it may not provide sufficient solace, it can be comforting to know that you are not alone. Furthermore, it may prove empowering to know that you can start overcoming childhood programming and live a good life.

Acknowledge What Happened To You

A first step is to acknowledge that your home-based early childhood curriculum was wrong. Concerning home-based early childhood curriculum, this refers to what you were told about yourself when you were a child. Other elements that it encompasses include responses that you received when you felt that you succeeded and responses that you received when you felt that you messed up or failed. Each of these elements contributes to early childhood programming.

Although it might feel good to hear that it’s easy to become someone who overcame poor childhood programming, overcoming a sad childhood can take decades. The key is to get started. Fortunately, tools exist that can help you get to the core of the problem and start overcoming bad childhood programming today.

Techniques For A Better Life

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For example, there’s the Morty Lefkoe Technique. Many of the shorter techniques are free and can be practiced in the privacy of your home. Other techniques may require the experienced support of a professional familiar with the Morty Lefkoe Technique. The UNPL Center also offers techniques for overcoming errors in childhood programming. Then, there are licensed clinical psychotherapists who can help you start overcoming a sad childhood and get on the path to living a good life.

But, first do your homework and check out techniques and professionals that you’re thinking about working with. You want to have a good, trustworthy connection with a mentor, clinician or therapist. Consider avoiding people you feel intimated by, afraid of or in awe of. After all, we all (including therapists and clinicians) are working our way through this world. If you’re afraid of a therapist or intimidated by a clinician, it could be a sign that something is amiss.

Facing The Past To Experience A Better Now

More steps that you can take are to acknowledge what you are feeling. Also, acknowledge what happened to you. Here are a few ways that might make the process easier:

  • Write in a journal. This is long hand writing, the type of writing kids used to do in elementary and middle school. Keep your journal in a private place if you’re not ready for someone to read your private thoughts.
  • Type how you’re feeling about experiences that are similar to painful and happy childhood experiences. Do this for a year and notice how you’ve progressed (even when you thought that you weren’t advancing).
  • Enjoy a nature walk outdoors in a safe place. While you’re walking, talk out loud about your experiences and how you have started overcoming those experiences. Do this in a safe place so you’re not overheard. Or, you could simply keep the volume in your voice down.
  • Join a support group that includes people who’ve experienced similar childhood traumas and stress like you did. Share at your own pace. Don’t feel forced to share more than you feel comfortable sharing. In fact, during the first few support group sessions, you might not say much at all. Just be open to sharing.

Getting Your Perceived Needs Met

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Additional keys to overcoming a sad childhood are to honor your feelings and your perceived needs. For instance, you may have had one or more absent parents. This situation could have left you to fend for yourself as a child and/or found you responsible for taking care of not only yourself but one or more siblings.

Should this be the case, you might believe that you don’t deserve to be heard, paid attention to or cared for. Instead, you might think it’s your life responsibility to always take care of someone else. Acknowledge that you feel you don’t deserve to have your needs met. Then, identify the needs that you do feel you have and start taking steps to meet those needs.

More Ways To Become An Overcomer

There are even more keys to overcoming a sad childhood. Here are some of those other keys:

  • Write down your achievements – This may sound easy, but if you’ve been in the habit of degrading yourself, it may take patience to make this a habit. Keep in mind that this is not about bragging or boasting. Plus, you’ll be writing these achievements for your eyes only. It’s a way to start letting you recognize just how much good you bring to the universe.
  • Set clear boundaries – Free yourself from thinking that it’s your job to take care of other adults, fulfill every request that’s made of you or ensure every project turns out right.
  • Talk to yourself with love – Make daily affirmations for success a part of your day. But don’t just repeat daily affirmations for success, slowly say daily affirmations for success and give yourself time to soak in the words. Truly allow yourself to feel and believe what you’re saying.
  • Keep it going – Throughout the day, continue to talk to yourself in loving ways.
  • Practice patience – Be patient with yourself. Loving yourself may be a new venture for you. Give yourself time to adjust and keep adding more steps and actions to this wonderful life of “you loving you”.

Prove That You Love Yourself

Also, engage in three or more activities that you love each day. In other words, if you say that you love yourself – prove it! Prove that you love yourself by being patient, kind, generous, compassionate and gracious with yourself.

This is an ongoing process. In fact, it’s part of a journey that could go on for decades. However, you should see advancements, good results. And, should you experience setbacks, continue to be patient and loving with yourself. Part of this includes only allowing people who love and genuinely care for you into your inner circle. After all, the way that you allow others to talk to you and treat you is a sign of how you talk to and treat yourself.

Rooting for you, as I’m on this path too. Keep going as Raymond does in Love Pour Over Me. In reference to books, you could add happiness self improvement books to your collection. Another step that you could take is to start working with a self reflection planner. Track your progress. Celebrate your successes!

11 Ways Authors Get More from Podcast Interviews

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By Books Author Denise Turney

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Authors get more from podcast interviews by being intentional. Research helps a lot too.

If you’re an author who started publishing books before the 1990s, podcast interviews might be the last thing you think about when you consider ways to market your books. Admittedly, podcasts weren’t the rave before the 1990s, but can you believe it?

Podcasts go all the way back to the 1980s. Back then, the shows were called audio blogging.

Exploring the Power of Story

Think about it. Doesn’t all great development involve story? If you’re being intentional and working to heal from trauma, you know you have to revisit your trauma story. On the other hand, if you want to fulfill a dream, you do more than see yourself doing what you want.

To strengthen your motivation, you boost the goal by creating a story that’s directly linked to what you want. You see, it’s the story that attracts us. Doesn’t matter if you create and retell the story to yourself or if someone else shares a story with you.

Story is powerful. It digs up deep emotions in the storyteller and the story’s listeners. And it’s this that makes podcast interviews so appealing. So, as an author, when you get a chance to connect with a host and listeners on a podcast, make the most of it.

Linking Interviews and Great Storytelling

To get more from these interviews, share stories that stir deep emotion in the podcast host and listeners. In fact, this may be the single best act that you can take to engage podcast listeners. One way that you could find out that you’ve done this is when a podcast host keeps asking you questions, minutes after your show was scheduled to end.

That or the host might ask you to come back on the show for another interview. For sure, that’s a great end result. But, after you’ve finished the interviews as an author, what can you do to get more from podcast interviews?

As a start, share the link to your podcast interviews at your social media accounts. You could even use a free design tool like Canva, Snappa or a free Adobe to create a unique design that includes the name of the podcast that you interviewed on. Also, add your name, book title and website URL to the design.

11 Ways Authors Get More from Podcast Interviews

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Get creative and tag the design with a catchy slogan that links your books to the podcast name. Feeling good? Create three to five designs. Add a different design to your social media accounts each day. That gives you a minimum of five days with unique ways to share the word about your interviews. Talk about a winner.

Check out these 10 additional ways that book authors can get more from podcast interviews. See how many you may already be doing. Take advantage of these ideas you could use to expand your readership, all by getting more from your author podcast interviews.

  • This first step actually happens before your podcast interviews. Good news is that you can also use this step with radio interviews. And this first step is to spread the word about your interview before the interview occurs. Fortunately, there are many ways that you could do this. For instance, you could call family and friends and ask them to catch the show. Or you can forward a link to the podcast interview to friends and neighbors. Flyers, social media message designs and postcards are other tools that you could use to ask people to listen to your podcast interviews.

More Ways Authors Get More from Podcast Interviews

  • After podcast interviews end, add them to your author website. This shared, it’s a good idea to add a media page to your author website. Use this page to highlight all of the podcast interviews that you do.
  • Talk about podcast interviews you do while you’re at work. If you’re a full-time author, share details of the interviews with people in your community while you’re socializing.
  • Create a media sheet that features your best podcast interviews. To get more from podcast interviews, include this media sheet with ARCs to introduce your books to book clubs, book bloggers and bookstore book buyers.

Podcasts as Virtual Discussion Backgrounds

  • Similar to the media sheet, develop an interview sheet to share with other podcast hosts. This action could help you to get more from podcast interviews in the future. Another reason that this might prove helpful is that hosts will see that you continue to spread the word about podcasts you’ve interviewed on long after the interview ends. That, in turn, demonstrates that they could gain more leverage from interviewing you as you continue to tell others about their shows.
  • Post an image that you designed of the podcast interview on your website background. Furthermore, you could use the design as a social media background. For example, you could use the design on your Facebook author page.
  • Speaking of background designs, use a design tool to develop a Zoom background that spotlights your most recent podcast interviews. Always include your book author website URL on the background designs to get more from podcast interviews.

Share Great Stories to Get More from Podcast Interviews

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  • Write and send a press release that showcases your last interview. There are free press release distribution services around. As a tip, you could try a few of these sites and see what you gain from the press releases.
  • Finally, you can mention the last online interview that you’ve completed on the next upcoming podcast interview that you have. However, don’t talk about past interviews during current podcast interviews for too long. Simply mention the last interview that you did, making sure to tie it to the messaging that you’re covering during your current interview.

As a last tip, actually enjoy author interviews. Have fun. A good podcast host will make this easy. You might even find yourself laughing during the interviews. Also, as was shared at the top of this blog, to get more from podcast interviews, be sure to share great stories. You could even share great stories that highlight parts of your novels.

11 Great Things to Love About The 1980s

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By Books Author Denise Turney

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There are so many things to love about the 1980s. It’s a sweet time gone by, but just what is it about the past that makes life seem simpler? Ask your parents to revisit the past and they might wind the conversation down with a statement like, “Life was so much better back then.” Well, of course, it would seem that way.

Challenges, uncertainties and setbacks from that time have been watered down or erased by the mind. Only the most rewarding, joyous, loving and sweetest memories pop up when you revisit the past.

Money, Retirement, Rents and More

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Do that and any time period could seem like the best time in history. The one decade when that just might be different is the 1980s. Vibe during the 1980s was more laid back. And, children actually played outside in the 1980s. There wasn’t a fear of children feeling inadequate because they didn’t have as many followers or likes as their peers. Should a fight break out, those fights often involved no more than fists – not that fighting is ever good.

But, parents didn’t have to worry that their kids might be shot at school the way that school shootings have become more common today. Even more, the 1980s were a time when you could work toward a pension. Put in 30 years with the same company and you could retire with a pension, potentially living comfortably off your pension and a small part-time job. Or – depending on what you earned over your career, the pension could afford you a comfortable retirement all by itself.

According to CNN Money, “The percentage of workers in the private sector whose only retirement account is a defined benefit pension plan is now 4%, down from 60% in the early 1980s.” That was a good path to a happy retirement. Of course, people living in the 1980s may not have realized how good things were.

News, Music and Videos

For example, rent was lower in the 1980s. Check out what Apartment List shares about 1980s rent. Median rent during the 1980s — and this rent is adjusted to 2014 dollars – was below $700 a month. That’s median rent across the United States. Some parts of the United States saw rents that were below $500 a month. Add in the “real” possibility of a pension and the 1980s might start looking even better.

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CNN was just launching (it started June 1, 1980), so people hadn’t yet become addicted to watching the news day and night. Cable television played a whole lot of music videos. Back then, it wasn’t enough for a song to have solid lyrics and a great sound, artists had to tell a visual story with their songs. And it’s this that brings us to the list of 11 great things to love about the 1980s. Ready? Let’s go!

  • Music – Whitney Houston, Cyndi Lauper, New Kids On The Block, Prince, New Edition, Run DMC, Madonna, Guns N Roses, Fleetwood Mac, Alanis Morissette and U2 are just a few of the many artists who produced great work during the 1980s. Music was fun, putting out hits like “Girls Just Want To Have Fun”, “I Want To Dance With Somebody”, “I’ve Had The Time Of My Life”, “Let’s Groove” and “Walking On Sunshine”.

Great Things To Love About The 1980s

  • Working Out – Who doesn’t remember those gym memberships? Looking back, it seems like large public gyms took off during the 1980s. You could get a monthly gym membership for less than $20. Fitness instructors taught dance and aerobics. Remember? Jane Fonda came out with hit aerobics videos. And, who can forget those leotards, headbands and thick roll-down socks.
  • Ice Cream Truck – The 1980s were a time to start saying “so long” to the ice cream truck. Not sure if this is a great thing, but if you loved running out to the ice cream truck, the 1980s may have been your last chance to enjoy this neighborhood treat.
  • Mobile Entertainment – Okay. Admittedly, this equipment is not as robust and easy to carry in your pocket as – say – an iPhone or even an iPad. But, mobile equipment from the 1980s was a start to what you can enjoy today. Rewind the clock, and you’d have boom boxes for music, hand-held cassette players, video recorders and DVD machines. Blockbuster was the joint back then.
  • Waterbeds – At its top end, the waterbed market comprised 20% of the mattress market. People who owned a waterbed often talked about how comfortable and relaxing the beds were. There was just that one downside. Every now and then, a waterbed would burst, spilling water all over the floor.

More Great Things To Love About The 1980s

  • Hairstyles – Can you think of a time when there were more popular hairstyles? There was the fade, jheri curl (don’t miss that one), mullet, cornrows, buzz cut, mohawk and big curls. You could do nearly anything with your hair and look cool. In fact, it was almost as if nothing was off limits as long as you were authentic and rocked a style that highlighted your personality.
  • Movies – Gotta start with Al Pacino in Scarface. Didn’t you catch that movie back in the 1980s? The first Batman came out in the 1980s. Stand By Me, Dead Poets Society, The Color Purple, Rain Man, The Untouchables, Flash Dance and Fatal Attraction are a few other hit movies from the great 1980s. What were your favorite movies from the 1980s? Some of these movies are classics today.
  • Games – Let’s just start with Pac-Man. I knew people who spent their entire check playing this game. You could walk to a community recreation center or an arcade and play one electronic game after the next. Later, there was Rubik’s Cube, Tetris, Ms. Pac-Man, Centipede, Zelda, Star Wars, Donkey Kong and Super Mario.

So Many Great Things To Love About The 1980s

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  • Cabbage Patch Dolls – Couldn’t leave this one out. I worked at a retail store in the 1980s and couldn’t believe how people actually fought over Cabbage Patch dolls. They were immensely popular. People collected the dolls. Kids loved to play with them, and then, just-like-that, it’s as if they went away. But they were so popular during the 1980s.
  • Family Meals – Back then, families at delicious homecooked meals around the kitchen table.
  • Books – You didn’t think I was going to leave this one off, did you? I was less than 10 years away from publishing my first novel – Portia – in the 1980s. Popular 1980s books included The Joy Luck Club, The Handmaid’s Tale, The Color Purple, Beloved, Patriot Games, The House On Mango Street, Lonesome Dove, The Bonfire Of The Vanities, Matilda, Sister Outsider and This Boy’s Life.

What are your favorite things about the 1980s? Or is that a time that is so far back to you, it’s hard for you to think of anything that was cool then? Fortunately, the great music, movies and books are still around.

Speaking of books, Love Pour Over Me is a book that takes place during the great 1980s. You’ll get the music, movies, intrigue and fun from the 1980s while reading this romantic suspense novel. Treat yourself! The 1980s was such a great time!

13 Reasons Why You Don’t Want to Give Up

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Fiction Books Author Denise Turney

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Are you at a life intersection, on the verge of major life changes? You know. It’s one of those not-meant-to-be-comfortable places where you absolutely know that you can’t stay where you are. Sounds simple. The rub is, you also don’t know where you’re going next. If you’re especially lucky, you don’t even know what to do right now. The fact that you’re about to enter the wonderful unknown is just one of 13 reasons why you don’t want to give up.

Navigating Life Changes – Reasons Why You Don’t Want to Give Up

It’s like existing in an invisible space, a place where nothing feels right. This could be why it’s so tempting to march in-step, run away from hard times enroute to rewarding life changes. But you know that won’t work.

In fact, keep doing what you’ve long done and you might afford yourself a feeling of safety. Yet, that safe feeling will only last so much longer. Examples of this include continuing to work a job you know (not think, not wonder – but know) isn’t working for you anymore. Or you might stay in a relationship that’s been bankrupt on love and honesty for years.

Because you’re more than a body, staying stuck will eventually put you in conflict. Your inner and outer selves will clash-clash-clash. Doesn’t matter how much you meditate. It’s hard to reach the center of peace this way.

Genesis of Dreams

As a matter of fact, that type of conflict hurts after awhile — hurts every single day. As easy as it may be to see how this could happen with relationships, work, your health or finances, there’s a critical focal area where you might miss the cost of standing at an intersection for far too long.

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That critical area is the genesis of your deepest dreams. This dream may have nothing to do with your parents’ or partner’s expectations of you. For instance, if you want to be a biologist, it’s not because your father taught biology for more than 30 years at a renowned university. To continue, it’s not because you’re motivation is to mimic your father because you believe that it’s a shortcut to earning your dad’s approval.

Reflect back on your earlier experiences. Did the dream that you carry reveal itself while you were a kid? Or did you have an adult experience that made it clear to you what you’re in this earth to do?

Reflect on Your Deepest Desire

The fact that it was revealed to me that I was a writer when I was 10 years old has served as great motivation during hard times when my books weren’t selling like I wanted. Even more, the way that my gift was revealed to me has seen me through heartbreaking life changes, like hard good-byes and scary career shifts.

So, as you consider 13 reasons why you don’t want to give up on your dreams, reflect on why you started to pursue your dream in the first place. For once, don’t think about the missteps, the frustrations, failures and hard learned lessons.

Reasons Not To Give Up

Instead, invest 15 minutes in thinking about why you started pursuing your dream. Your answer is the first reason why you don’t want to give up. Here are more reasons why you don’t want to toss in the towel:

  • Remember why you started (see above)
  • Your true self knows that you can do it! The part of you that’s connected to all that is in truth already knows just what you should do right now. Quiet your mind and seek that guidance. It’s always there, making it a key reason why you should never give up.
  • Believe it or not, you’re waiting to experience the fulfillment of your dream. Can’t you feel the longing?
  • Dreams impact more than the dreamer. You may be amazed at how many people your dream fulfillment touches.
  • Someone is watching you. Yes, you. As tough as that might be to believe, there are people watching how you respond to what occurs. They’re watching how you recover from setbacks. And they’re watching how you treat yourself and others during hard times. If you use determination and persistence, including strong determination, you might inspire another person who’s at a crossroads to keep pushing forward.
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More Reasons Not To Give Up

  • Strong determination can lob you over the toughest challenges.
  • Success is waiting for you and you know it.
  • Shifts in mindfulness, rest, diet, lifestyle and exercise could offer the types of motivation to get you through periods of success drought, frustration and fear.
  • Fulfilling the next dream could propel you toward your larger destiny.
  • Doing what you came here to do is empowering.
  • Nothing can stop you once you make up your mind to succeed.
  • Fear is a four-letter word that represents powerful illusions – things that aren’t real.
  • It’s time you showed yourself that you really are the creation of the most powerful force alive.

Focusing on success quotes, positive quotes and components of the self determination theory could fuel your forward motion. Yet, reading encouraging quotes might not be enough to get you through hard times. Alongside these resources, you might need to regularly reflect on why you started pursuing your dream in the first place.

As iffy as it may sound, you also might have to alter your diet to energize your body and keep your brain sharp. After all, the greatest dreams may not manifest if you don’t have the energy to take the right physical actions.

Mastering Life Intersections

Certainly, you’ve heard it before. Birds of a feather flock together. Another way of saying this is be careful who you keep company with. Pay attention to who you allow into your inner circle. After all, the people closest to you will influence your thoughts, your beliefs.

People in your inner circle could also use their influence over you to entice you to trade your dreams for money. Another thing that could happen is someone close to you may fuel you with the belief that you’ve reached the top or gone as far as you can go.

Let this happen and you could find yourself at another intersection. You could find yourself facing hard times as you face the choice of following your inner guide that mapped out your dream or following anything else.

Here’s to trusting that you never reach this intersection again. Use strong determination, daily motivation and reflection to keep advancing in the right direction. Somewhere inside yourself are the exact steps to take. Tap in. Right inside of yourself you already know what to do. You already know which way to go.