By Books Author Denise Turney

It feels thrilling to know that you’re right. You feel like you’ve won, as if you’ve outwitted someone else. On top of that, you might feel as if you’re better than another person. Good feelings aside, striving to be right is a trap. There’s just too much you don’t know. Try enough new things and you’ll see that you don’t know everything.

Accepting that is freeing. After all, when you’re proven wrong, it feels as if you’ve had something taken from you, as if you actually lost something. Although you could hide it, you might feel small. You could feel like you need to protect yourself.

What do you believe about yourself?

Fear associated with being proven wrong affects every facet of life. It’s why parents, psychologists, business leaders and human resources specialists guide in private and praise in public. Anthony Robbins, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, Lisa Nichols, Les Brown and other thought leaders reference this when they talk about the scarcity belief.

Our ego is always on the lookout for a potential threat. The ego is always on the lookout for what it thinks might attack or take away from it, believing that loss is actually possible.

Then, our ego creates defense systems (i.e., disassociation, aggression) as a way to protect itself and to avoid change. None of the ego’s defense systems work. They can become addictive. They can also make sickness, but help and heal, they cannot do.

What are your beliefs keeping you from?

Believing that you know everything is an ego defense. But think about what this does. Thinking that you know everything about a person, an organization, a situation or the past, present or future keeps you from:

• Lasting, positive change
• Internal advancement
• Enlightenment
• Awakening to truth
• Accepting new ideas and thoughts
• Peace and joy
• Sense of truth fulfillment
• What you really want
• Better, more rewarding relationships
• Feeling safe

As a writer or book publisher, thinking that you know everything could be the reason why you haven’t received ideas on how you can connect with more readers, generate more book sales or write better stories. Keep in mind that the ego is always on the lookout for a threat. It is always seeking a way to protect itself. One of the best ways that the ego avoids threat is by keeping you bound (away from real change) and stagnant. It does this at conscious and unconscious levels. Fear is its primary tool.

Signs that the ego is at work

If you feel angry, attacked, ridiculed, embarrassed or small when someone corrects something that you said or did, your ego may be in full effect. If you feel afraid to speak in public, introduce yourself to someone or reach out for help, your ego could be telling you that you don’t have enough value to do those things.

They are lies.

Art, particularly writing, is an area where the ego gets tested regularly.

As a writer, you are going to receive feedback on your work. If you’re afraid of feedback, you may refuse to work with an editor. Okay. So, don’t work with an editor. You’ll hear from readers and book reviewers instead. But you are going to get feedback and you probably won’t like all of it.

Accept that nothing can change God’s will. Nothing can change what God created or how God created anything. God created you perfect. You do not have to know everything. You cannot lose anything. Your worth cannot diminish.

Move forward with an open mind. Accept when you are wrong, knowing that your ideas and decisions are not YOU. The more open you are to accepting feedback, the better your works may become. Being open to feedback can help you to remove blinders. It can help you to develop the types of stories that readers appreciate. It can position you for greater success. Remember. You don’t have to know everything, especially if you trust the One who does.

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