Monthly Archives: November 2013

The drive to keep running from pain

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By Denise Turney
It’s a good thing to pursue happiness. After all, pain and disappointment do not come bearing worthy gifts. However, running from pain is not the same as pursuing happiness, and being that we are creatures of habit, if we run away from pain too long we may become experts at it and miss out on the thing we want to experience most – real love.

Putting an end to the run

Even so, few people, if anyone of us at all, sees running from pain as a means to avoid love. It’s a ritual or habit that can start early in our lives, when we are kids. We may be repeatedly disappointed by a parent who makes promises but seldom keeps them. Or we might witness one or both of our parents walking out of our lives as if we were merely children they’d met at a park, not people they helped to create, not their own flesh and blood.

Let these heart wrenching experiences continue to find their way into our lives and it’s no wonder some of us shy away from love and affection. We’re tired of being hurt, tired of being disappointed. We might even think that we only get hurt when we let people get close enough to us to cause us to feel love for them. After all, as the saying goes, it’s often the people who are closest to us who cause us to feel the deepest pain.

When this happens to Love Pour Over Me’s Raymond Clarke he responds the way many of us do. He turns away from love, even dismissing it when it shows up in a woman who has never disappointed or hurt him before, a woman he was born to love. Raymond’s good at running, but over time even he realizes that running has cost him too much. Even he, the man with the broken childhood, realizes that it’s time to stop running from love in ways that are disguised as running from pain.

Thank you for reading my blog. To learn what happens to Raymond, Brenda and the other characters in Love Pour Over Me, hop over to Amazon.com, B&N.com, Ebookit.com and get your copy of Love Pour Over Me today. And again I say – Thank You! Even if you choose not to purchase your copy of Love Pour Over Me today, I encourage you to “consider Love.”

Lasting benefits from running

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By Denise Turney
Runners reap rewards other athletes don’t. A clear mind, lower stress levels and a healthy, slender physique are byproducts of running long distances. Run at a 10-mile per hour pace and you can burn more than 310 calories. Depending on your body weight, you might burn considerably more calories.

Exercise isn’t the only running benefit

Your endorphins rise while you’re cortisol levels lower. Raise your endorphins and you’ll feel better, happier. Endorphins are brain neurotransmitters that send electrical signals throughout your nervous system. As these chemicals (endorphins) are released your immune system improves, your libido may be stimulated and your mood may rise. Endorphins also help you deal with stress and pain.

Those are good things, all which you can get from running.

Raising your cortisol levels isn’t so good. In fact, heightened cortisol levels can cause you to feel tired, even after you’ve gotten 8 or more hours of restful sleep. You might also have difficulty thinking clearly, feel jittery, gain weight and/or raise your blood pressure if your cortisol levels remain high for too long. Staying in these prolonged states is dangerous. Blood tests are generally performed to determine your cortisol levels.

These benefits might explain why long distance runners experience what some refer to as “runners high”. Sporting a thinner frame offers another benefits — an improved self-image. Add in championship competitions, similar to those Raymond Clarke (star character in “Love Pour Over Me”) races in, and your self-esteem and self-image can be strengthened even more.

Even more, running is fun. Cover 10 or more miles and you can see parts of your community you might not otherwise have learned about. Start and end routes in different locations, and you could learn enough about these areas to pad your bank account by writing and selling real life and/or travel articles.

Because your head clears while you’re running, answers to problems you’ve been dealing with may bubble to the surface. It’s these benefits that make running more than an exercise regimen, that make running a gift, a blessing.

Get your copy of “Love Pour Over Me” Now at –

http://www.ebookit.com/books/0000001582/Love-Pour-Over-Me.html

Who Do You Think Is Better Than You?

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By Denise Turney
At first glance, this question might appear rude. However, it’s a question you may have been asking yourself for years, drawing up images of people you think are more successful, wholesome or intelligent that you are. Perhaps it’s time to ask yourself what it is about these people you admire. And dare I say that it’s these traits that are hidden somewhere right inside of you.

Just as you may not want to look at thought patterns, beliefs or emotions you have, choosing to, instead, project these feelings and thoughts onto other people (as if they felt and believed them, not you), so too you might project beliefs about your own greatness onto other people. After all, no one is better or greater than you, just as you aren’t better or greater than anyone else.

At times it could feel unfair that our thoughts create our physical experiences. But, that sense of unfairness is merely a judgment that changes nothing. Well, it could make you feel like a victim, but that belief definitely won’t help you step into your greatness.

Feelings and beliefs you hold about other people are clues (wonderful nuggets) as to what you feel and believe about yourself. (As a note, the one thing our thoughts don’t/didn’t create is us, and that’s very good news, my friend!!) So, take a moment and ask yourself who you think is better or greater than you. Then ask yourself, what it is about this person you believe is great, perhaps impossible to match or equal. Is there anything about this person you wish you possessed more of? Be honest.

Now look at your experiences. Search for times when you demonstrated these same traits or abilities yourself, even if on a smaller scale. Can you start to see your greatness?

Imagine what it would be like if you saw what you really are all day. Imagine how you would feel about yourself. Imagine how you’d know, completely know, that impossible doesn’t exist.

To start to manifest (bring about the physical expression of your greatness) it may take some inner work (perhaps lots of inner work), but you’re so worth it. The work is merely a matter of removing beliefs in all lies. Once you do that, all that remains is the truth. And then not even the question “Who do I think is better than me” will arise in your mind. You’ll know the answer.

Raymond Clarke learns this in Love Pour Over Me. As with many of us, it takes Raymond awhile to get this lesson. But that’s no concern. The universe is patient. We will learn and awaken . . . all of us.

Thank you for reading my blog. To learn what happens to Raymond, Brenda and the other characters in Love Pour Over Me, hop over to Amazon.com, B&N.com, Ebookit.com, or any other online or offline bookseller and get your copy of Love Pour Over Me today. And again I say – Thank You! Consider Love.

Taking the time to get to know your own mother better

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Other than the father and son relationship, no other relationship may be as acrimonious as the relationship a daughter has with her mother. An observer watching a mother and daughter communicate and relate with each mother might think that the two women are enemies. It might seem impossible to believe that the two women live beneath the same roof, share the same blood line.

Calling a truce with your mother

If mothers have unresolved issues with their own mothers, they might carry these unresolved issues into relationships they build with their own daughters. In fact, these unresolved issues could start to reveal themselves while daughters are young, well before the teenage years.

For example, mothers might try to keep their daughters from experiencing similar disappointments that they felt when they were their age. This could cause mothers to become critical of their daughters. Mothers might comment on their daughters’ new hairstyles or outfits, offering their disapproval as a way to encourage their daughters to always look their best so they don’t get teased, sneered at or talked about the way mothers did when they were younger.

Let this keep up and daughters might feel as if their mothers see them as failures, as if they are incapable of making smart decisions on their own. Wall Street Journal reporter, Elizabeth Bernstein says that due to the constant input from their mothers, “Daughters, meanwhile, tend to be very sensitive to mom’s input. They think she is being rude or doesn’t respect them as an adult. Underneath, they fear they’ve failed the one person they have been seeking approval from since before they could speak.”

Furthermore, “A natural break should occur between adolescence and adulthood, where the mother allows her daughter to grow up and make her own decisions. Some mothers, however, have trouble letting go.” To start letting go, mothers can set ground rules around things like dating and going to concerts. While setting these ground rules, they can ask their daughters for input.

Daughters can speak up for themselves when they are right or when a decision they make is truly up to them. If the two become angry, they can take several deep breaths and honestly discuss why they are angry, without placing blame. It also helps if mothers talk about their own childhoods and difficulties they may have had relating to their own mothers. Both should avoid trying to hurt or compete with each other. Lying is another practice that should be removed from the relationship. Mothers and daughters will also benefit from regularly focusing on attributes they appreciate about each other.

Thank you for reading my blog. To learn what happens to Raymond, Brenda and the other characters in my new book, Love Pour Over Me, hop over to Amazon.com, B&N.com, Ebookit.com, or any other online or offline bookseller and get your copy of Love Pour Over Me today. And again I say – Thank You! Consider Love.