Monthly Archives: July 2013

Growing up Beneath a Hard Childhood

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By Denise Turney

Childhood is supposed to be filled with laughter, playfulness, happiness, exploration and learning. It’s a time when our subconscious minds are developing. If we are surrounded by love, affection, support and care we learn to trust ourselves and others while we are children.

However, childhood isn’t always filled with fairy tale experiences. Childhood doesn’t always follow love’s plan. Sometimes our parents are too bruised to care for us. Yet, keeping to traditions and perhaps, out of a sense of obligation and guilt, they may struggle to give us what they realize children need to thrive. They may try .  . .

Childhood Gaps at Love

What we don’t receive from our parents we may spend the remainder of our physical experience searching for. We may seek love, affection and confirmation in strange faces. World travels or moving from one neighborhood to another may attract us, whispering to us that the acceptance we longed for and sought as a child is in these new places.

After awhile it may start to feel as if life is playing a mean, a very cruel, trick on us, sending us around in circles in search of love . . . the very thing we were created with . . . the very thing no one can survive without. This is Raymond Clarke’s (the main character in my new book, Love Pour Over Me) story. It’s a backdrop Raymond doesn’t want. Unbeknownst to Raymond, it’s also a backdrop his father, Malcolm, a man with untreated alcoholism, doesn’t want.

Every Child Needs Love

Reports attest that Raymond Clarke is not alone. In fact, according to Child Help as many as 6 million children are reported as suffering beneath abuse in the United States alone. Every day five of those children don’t make it. Their stories are not fictional like Raymond’s. Because they are young and physically small in stature, adult abusers may feel empowered when dealing with them. Over time these children may start to think like their abusers, that it’s always someone else who has the power over them, controlling them . . . enforcing their will upon them.

Yet, these children are not disempowered. They need a voice, support, someone to stand in the gap for them until they step into their own true power. For Raymond this person never comes. He gathers his strength from within, until he can leave home . . . striking out on his own in search of happiness, peace and, of course . . . love. He also uses his talents and gifts to make a name for himself, to start to connect to and feel his true strength. It is my hope that Raymond Clarke’s story will inspire adults (and the people who love them) who have grown up beneath a hard childhood, to tap into their true power, leave old hurts and haunts in the past and . . . thrive in love’s glory.

After all, it’s only love that will save Raymond . . . all of us.

Thank you for reading my blog. To learn what happens to Raymond, Brenda and the other characters in Love Pour Over Me, hop over to Amazon.com, B&N.com, Ebookit.com ($3.03 – lowest price I’ve found so far) and get your copy of Love Pour Over Me today. And again I say – Thank You! Consider Love.

Sources:

http://www.childhelp.org/pages/statistics (Child Help)

Report child abuse and love every child you see (young or old). We all need it!

Busting Through Writer’s Block One Word at a Time

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By Denise Turney
There may be no greater barrier to your creative flow as a writer than lack of confidence or self-criticism. You’ll end up spending an hour writing (or trying to write) a single paragraph. It’s frustrating sitting in front of a computer, staring at a mostly blank screen, while, at the same time, you’re brimming with enough determination to write a full length novel in less than a week.

So, how do you bust through writer’s block? How do you put a stop to hours of typing, deleting, typing, deleting? For starters, you stop self-editing during the creative process.

There will be time for that later.

For now, to push past writer’s block, focus on writing, getting your ideas to paper (or a computer screen). That’s right. Start writing or typing whatever surfaces in  your mind. Not only could you leap over writer’s block, you could also unearth a great novel.

If you’re still struggling with writer’s block after taking the above steps, here are a few other steps you could take to get rid of writer’s block.

  • Re-write a passage from one of your favorite magazines
  • Write down the words to a popular song
  • Review the last book you read, writing down benefits readers could gain from reading the book
  • Describe each season in two sentences or less
  • Join a writer’s discussion group, completing group writing exercises
  • Refer to a “story ideas” book, completing writing prompts listed in the book

There is no better way to get past writer’s block than writing without critiquing your work. Remember, you can edit your work later. For now, just get your ideas on paper.

Thank you for reading my blog. To learn what happens to Raymond, Brenda and the other characters in Love Pour Over Me, hop over to Amazon.com, B&N.com, Ebookit.com, or any other online or offline bookseller and get your copy of Love Pour Over Me today. And again I say – Thank You! Consider Love.

 

Children Preparing for Life Without Their Mothers

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By Denise Turney
Presumably when most people hear that a parent abandoned or walked out and left their child, images of a father pop into their minds. However, as odd as it may sound, mothers also walk off and leave their children. Some mothers, like Raymond Clarke’s mother, leave their children early in their childs life. Akin to fathers, these mothers might not look back after they walk away.

When a Child’s Mother Walk Away

This unfortunate event can occur suddenly, without warning. When it does happen, neighbors, friends and extended family members get to see firsthand how important a mother is to a child. Some children who lose their mothers early might struggle to feel as if they are good enough, worth loving or safe in the world. These and other symptoms of growing up without a mother may reveal themselves subconsciously, going unnoticed by abandoned children for years.

Furthermore, mothers leave their children for a variety of reasons as reported in the July 9, 2009 Marie Claire “What Kind of Mother Leaves Her Kids” article. To be clear, in the article three women are interviewed; these women didn’t abandon their children as Raymond Clarke’s mother abandons him. Instead, they leave custody of their children to their ex-husbands. One mother in the article left her children after her marriage to the children’s father fell apart so she could live the life she wanted, something most people desire to do. She also wanted the emotional and psychological space to write a book about a child she and her ex-husband lost years earlier.

Another mother turned over custody to her ex-husband after struggling to make ends meet while her children lived with her. She has since reconsidered her decision, both her ex-husband and she deciding that their two youngest daughters would fare better if they lived with her. About the change, this mother expressed appreciation, stating that she felt an emptiness while her daughters were away from her.

Children Struggling to Find Their Way Absent Their Mothers

The third mother covered in the article, relinquished custody of her child after she got accepted to a prestigious university out of town. Each of these women maintained or continues to maintain regular contact with her children while their ex-husband’s have custody of them.

Those are the good stories. They are far removed from what children like Raymond have experienced. It’s children like Raymond who might internalize questions about their self-worth well into adulthood, some never getting the answers they spend years seeking consciously or subconsciously. Their struggles might often go unnoticed as they struggle to find their way in a world that showed itself to be unusually hard and cruel right from the start.

Yet, like Ohio’s Raymond Clarke, these children make it. They are heroines and heroes of sorts, ready to take on new challenges, ever hopeful that, the next time, things, for them, will turn out right.

Thank you for reading my blog. To learn what happens to Raymond, Brenda and the other characters in Love Pour Over Me, hop over to Amazon.com, B&N.com, Ebookit.com ($3.03 – lowest price I’ve found so far) and get your copy of Love Pour Over Me today. And again I say – Thank You! Consider Love.

Sources:

http://www.marieclaire.com/world-reports/news/mothers-giving-up-custody (Marie Claire: What Kind of Mother Leaves Her Kids)